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Time for another sporadic update from the graveyard -

Tonight was a very stressful shift for me. I fully expected it to be given the type of event we were doing, although most of the stress ended up coming from an unexpected change in plans. I ended up having to fill in on a position I've never worked before and have zero know how or training on.

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It feels like every day I check Twitter and wonder "is this it? Is this where I finally abandon all the accounts I love to follow and my largest following and quit?"

And I see a post about dogs or something and I stay another day.

If the block function does get removed I am definitely leaving though. That feature exists for a reason (and not just because of app store requirements).

The emptiness here reminds me of when I first started the blog/channel a few years ago. Every new follow felt like a little miracle. I mean honestly, it still feels like that to be honest lol. I am grateful for everyone who actually cares about my content.

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I finally re-recorded most of that video I've been meaning to do today before work. It's been so hot lately that it was difficult to find a time to sit down without the fan running long enough to record. There's still some snippets to do, but my time today ran short.

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We found an old piece of a squeaker from one of Levi's toys today. It must have been wedged under the sofa or something. I guess he's still managing to surprise us from time to time, even almost a year after his passing. It doesn’t feel like it's really been that long, though. I feel like I've been on hiatus for maybe a couple months. And I still sometimes wake up expecting to roll over and see him next to me.

And it's moments like that where I'm grateful to feel the weight of Mia against my legs - to hear her little "mrr" as I accidentally rouse her.

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I've been making some progress on myself lately. It's not something I necessarily am ready to talk about yet because it would require quite a bit of vulnerability on my part. But I'm sure in time I will share about it. What I will say is change is a slow, gradual process. My brain struggles with positive thinking, but I really am trying to allow myself to take pride in the small steps I take towards my larger goals.

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My notebook has a page in it filled with ideas for potential future Fictional Cult Breakdowns. I just need to find my groove again.

If this upcoming video doesn't destroy me. Because I am not just speaking about her anymore. There's another person who needs to be addressed. And that person has a following that could ruin me.

But some things need to be said.

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Allegedly I'm 27 now. Which is kind of like being 21, but in my bad handwriting, everything hurts for no good reason, and I can't find the socks on my own feet.

I don't hold a lot of merit to horoscopes, but as far as harmless symbols go, I think it's very fitting that I'm a Cancer. Because I'm a crabby bitch.

I feel like I got an early birthday present this year when I went to see Voltaire in Phoenix. Just the chance to do that on its own was awesome - but I never expected that me simply joking about him accidentally starting a song on the wrong verse would result in me getting to sing with him.

YEAH. THAT HAPPENED.

Tumblr hates me when it comes to uploading videos, but if you want to see me be an absolute mess on stage with one of my idols, I did share it on Instagram lol:

[Not shown: Me hitting my head on an amp when leaving the stage. Twice.]

I don't know if I'll ever have the words to express my gratitude for this experience.

Anywho, I should get back to work. Unfortunately, adulting means that birthdays aren't magical days off. But at least this one feels better than my last few ones.

If you want to send me some birthday love, here is the link to my Ko-Fi (wink wink)

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Hello and Welcome

(Yes I'm not a bot!)

For anyone who isn't here because they're following me over from the sinking ship that is a certain blue bird app, introductions! I am Tori, a simple goth against pyramid schemes. For a few years now one of my pastimes has been blogging and making videos to spread awareness and information about the dangers of multi-level marketing companies and pyramid schemes, and well as some stuff about cults.

In an effort to keep my social media more available to those who follow me, I have decided to add a Tumblr page to my list of options. My Twitter and Facebook aren't going anywhere (for now) unless the Muskrat or Zuckerbot get fed up with my existence. But since I know not everyone wants to be on those sites, this is just another option for my viewers.

(And yes, for those wondering, Instagram never did give me my Multi Level Mess account back or explain why it got the boot. Yay.)

I'll probably be posting mostly blog and channel updates here, but expect possibly some more ramblings akin to my Twitter feed.

If you want to check out my blog or channel, or see my other social media, here are the links:

Youtube

Blog

Twitter

https://twitter.com/MultiLevelMess

Facebook

Ko-Fi