mummabeanlitebrite

[mummabeanlitebrite]

It's been a year.

It's been a year, since i got the call.

It's been a year since our world came crashing down.

It's been a year since you decided you couldn't hurt anymore.

And here we are, hurting more and more.

We loved you so much, and you loved us too.

I just wish, you'd have reached out so we could have helped you.

I've been crying every day. And so has everyone else.

We miss you so fucking much.

I've never felt so alone than I do right now.

Crying so hard, every night waiting and hoping that this was all just one big nightmare.

And I know I'm not the only one.

I miss your cheeky smile.

And your silly haircut.

I miss your sweet words.

And your crazy sense of adventure.

I miss your hugs, they were the fucking best.

I miss your good morning texts

I miss you calling me mom, even tho you were older than me. I miss everything.

I hope you are better now :'(

It's never going to be easier for us. But we love you no less.

I'm sorry, you hurt so bad. I'm sorry you're gone.

[mummabeanlitebrite]

LMAO!

With self driving cars around the corner, country songs will soon be about their trucks leaving them too.

[mummabeanlitebrite]

Blue hair ^•^

[mummabeanlitebrite]

My heart is slowly breaking...

and there's hardly anything left...

It's been shattered so many times...

It's slowly turning to dust...

And I'll have nothing left...

But hopefully, just maybe, I won't hurt anymore...

And I won't have to cry myself asleep every night...

[mummabeanlitebrite]

[mummabeanlitebrite]

If Batman and Superman switched cities for a couple weeks, they’d clean out each other’s villains like it was nothing.

[mummabeanlitebrite]

A guy can decline an invitation somewhere by saying their girlfriend won’t let them go and everyone would understand but if it was the opposite way round then people would be worried.

[mummabeanlitebrite]

Everything I do, I do it for you. Everyday I keep pushing because I want to be the best I can be for my kids, for our son, for you. But it's never enough. I have problems. I'll admit that. But at least I'm fucking working on them. I battle my mind every day. And it seems harder and harder to win. But I try. I've lost so many people, in death, in life, I just don't know what to do anymore. My heart can't fucking handle anymore pain. My heart can't handle anymore loss. I can't keep fucking crying. But it's getting so fucking hard. I have urges....urges that I shouldn't. Ones I've been trying so hard not to give in to. I have enough scars, I don't need more, but all I keep thinking is, 'whats one more?' My will to live is growing smaller and smaller by day. But I have 3 beautiful boys to try and keep it from disappearing. I'm a fuck up. And I do all I can to fix it. Im there for people who don't deserve it. I'm constantly doing things I never want to do just to make people happy. I will always put people before myself. I always put you before myself. I love you and just want you happy. But I'm constantly being shown that I can't fucking do that. I've never felt as worthless as I do right now. And I don't think there will ever be a time where I'll feel any better. I'm fucking sorry. I don't know what to do anymore

[mummabeanlitebrite]

How-To: Writing Spells or Rituals

In the Style of Rook, aka @ritual-and-chaos

There are two interchangeable options for starting out writing magic: Materials First or Intent First. You can combine the two together, but in my opinion, it’s easier to put one or the other on the backburner and work from there.

Materials First:

For the practitioner who doesn’t have a dire need at the moment, or maybe just has a spare moment and the energy to design some magic.

Decide what kind of magic you’re doing.

Do you require a container? (Jar, envelope, etc.)

Is the magic visible, or is it energy or astral/aetheric?

Do you want to keep the end product? 

Should you do this work outdoors due to materials concerns? (Smoke, chemicals, etc.)

Is water going to be involved?

For example, there are plenty of reasons to use a jar; it’s a contain-er, the contents are visible (public), there’s a vague connection to domesticity and the home. But, maybe you want to use an envelope instead. It has plenty of benefits as well - messages and communication, disposability, and easy to hide. Different objects convey different meanings in the end. Consider this while you’re gathering the ingredients and mull over what you can craft into an intention.

Or, make it a challenge and don’t even bother thinking about the materials as you bring it all together. Chaos, at work.

Pick at least three materials to use. Combine them in interesting ways - put them all together and mix, or layer them and keep them separate, or glue them down, or intertwine them! 

Do you want to use writing? That’s an easy way to add in some directed intent, where the materials can enhance that written intent. 

Now, decide on an intent. Write down the meanings of what you have gathered/used and find an intent based on that list. It doesn’t have to be a full statement of intent, but some people find that the full statement makes it seem more “real.”

Follow through!  You don’t have to cast/use the magic you’ve made, once you’ve made it. If you dislike what you came up with, make substitutions using your first draft framework. Repeat as necessary. 

Materials first magic is a good way to use meaningful materials to make unique, one-off magic. 

Intent First: 

For the practitioner who needs a specific thing, right now. 

Write down your intent or a list of things you require from the magic. 

A good thing to consider is opposites:

Is it for me or others? 

Is it for one person or many?

Is it positive or negative? 

Is it a reaction or prevention?

Narrow down the who, what, when, where, why of the magic you want to create.

Go through that list and figure out how you can make each of those elements happen. Here, its good to know what kind of magic you want to use. Looking through kitchen magic materials for ‘defense against others’ is easier than looking through all magic materials for the same. 

Who: Do you require a taglock? Or a written/verified name? Is it specific to you, and therefore to your house etc as the target? 

What: Meanings behind materials are key at this juncture. Remember, kids, if you don’t believe that lavender is indicative of royalty, it’s not going to resonate as royalty in your spells. You have to believe for it to work. Assign your own meanings as fit. 

When: Do you require a time scale / limit for the magic? Do you want this effect to be constantly active? Will it require a battery or energy supply to continue? 

Where: Is location important? Does the magic need to be centralized to a specific place? Is it important that it’s hidden or visible? 

Why: Reasses your statement of intent or list of intent. Have you covered all your bases?

At this point, if you believe in rebound from magic, you should ensure that your wards, protections, and other defenses are up and running. Just in case. 

For Intent First magic, it may be beneficial to ritualize the creation of the magic - make each addition of a component important. You can speak/think/write out the purpose of each material as you add them to the mix, which will help solidify their purpose and your intention.

Feel free to mix and match parts of each method until you’re satisfied with how to create! 

Lastly, here’s Rook’s amused note: My url is ritual-and-chaos for the exact purposes of above. I don’t pretend my methods are the only ones, but I like to look at magic creation through a chaotic lens (materials first, what happens happens but here’s my guiding hand) or a ritualized lens (intent first, this is how this works because I structured it this way). 

Requested by @sheepofmanyherds.

[mummabeanlitebrite]

Having one more mini dream after setting your alarm to snooze is like the bonus scene after the credits of a movie

[mummabeanlitebrite]

[mummabeanlitebrite]

[mummabeanlitebrite]

Devils lake

[mummabeanlitebrite]

Gotta love it

Gotta love it when you get bitched at for posting about your feelings but they can do it all they want.

Gotta love it when youre told things will get done and yku are left doing them all, once again.

Gotta love it when you feel worse than ever, that you honestly dont kbiw what to do anymore, but your feelings dont matter at all.

Gotta love being used and lied to all the time.

Gotta love when you finally stick up for yourself, your attitude is 'disgusting' and youre expected to just suck it up and take everything thats breaking you down.

My life. Gotta fucking love it.😭

[mummabeanlitebrite]

I...

I dont know what to believe anymore