murasakiibb

[murasakiibb]

learned how to use blenders film making tools

[murasakiibb]

Actually thinking about my time spent in purgatory, aka “the service industry”, I had some wild fucking events over the course of a decade.

There was the time a bride decided she didn’t want to go through with the wedding and tried to make her escape through the back kitchens of the venue and wound up sitting out back in the drizzling rain, bumming cigarettes from the delivery drivers, pristine white dress turning to mulch as she sat on an over turned catering crate. After a good half hour the groom came and found her and asked if she was okay. When she said she wasn’t sure if she wanted to go through with it he just nodded and said she should get out the rain because it was cold. The two of them ended up going back inside together, skipped the wedding part and basically had the most expensive party of their lives with all their friends and family.

There was another bride who could never decide on place settings, so in the end just turned to the coordinator and said “surprise me”. So we mismatched everything and called it “boho chic”. She loved it.

There was the groom who got caught in our supply closet during the late night reception…with the best man. And then there was also the father of the bride who absconded with the mother of the groom and had to be asked nicely to put their clothes back on and get out of the wine cellar.

At the same wedding.

There was the drunk best man who proposed to me using an umbrella cocktail and told me he was heartbroken when I told him I was flattered but married. He wore it behind his ear the rest of the night dancing like a mad man and telling anyone who would listen about “the one that got away”.

There was the Indian wedding with 800 guests. We rotated them in batches of 200 to fit them between spaces. All I can remember is never having enough drinks to hand out.

There was the arch bishop who only liked his coffee ground by hand because the effort of the worker “made it taste better”.

There was the time I took out the crystal drop of a chandelier with a champagne cork because the runners shook up the bottles for a joke.

There was the funeral party where the body couldn’t be delivered to the crematorium because the crematorium caught on fire.

There was the other funeral where a fist fight broke out over something our Jeanie said to our Mary 40 years ago, but then it turned out Mary was the one who said it.

There was the wedding where in a room of 200 people, the bride and groom only had eyes for each other.

There was the christening where the godmother kept crying to me over mocktails because she never thought she could love something as much as she loved “that bald little head”.

There was the old man at the wedding who came alone and smiled very kindly at everyone and always said please and thank you and who told myself and a coworker he’d been married to his wife for over 60 years and how she would have loved to see these two finally tie the not. She’d only passed the week before. He’d brought a picture of her so she could enjoy it in spirit.

There was the really tragic funeral where everyone kept hugging each other and saying “I love you” and us staff had to take frequent breaks to breathe because grief is tangible but so is love.

There were the times when nothing in particular happened at all, but they stand out so much because everyone there was happy.

Of course there was also the times when someone threw up on your shoes, or you got groped while serving the table, or someone was rude or snide because you were “the help”.

People are wild.

[murasakiibb]

a magical sword can only be pulled from its anvil by a maiden of purest heart. a young knight visits the anvil daily to make the attempt, crushed each time he cannot do the deed, yearning for a sign from the universe that he *is* in truth what he yearns to be. for the world to plop the gift of identity into outstretched arms. but of course, it never does. until one day, he has a chance encounter with a nymph of the lake who was once an ordinary squire, and he learns from her that maidenhood will not be given to him, that he must be brave and choose it for himself. and so the knight changes her name and reintroduces herself to the world and employs the greatest miracles of modern science to become the maiden she had always dreamed of being, and this time, when she revists the sword, she only can't pull it because she's kind of an asshole.

[murasakiibb]

Disability is not a punishment, but I think the world would be genuinely improved if every person involved in writing or regulating ingredient labels was mysteriously inflicted with at least one food allergy falling under each of the following categories: "natural flavors," "modified food starch," "artificial flavors," "spices," and "color." Down with ingredient labels so vague that they defeat the entire fucking point.

[murasakiibb]

non homestuck dont understand. if you have cosplayed terezi, sollux, or dirk at  ANY point in your life you have bought shades from the same man. like its literally just one man whos making HUNDREDS of pairs of specialty cosplay glasses. it is literally JUST one man who makes those glasses on the entire internet

[murasakiibb]

I think the solution to kids on the Internet is to have specific, kid friendly spaces on the Internet. Kids wouldn't come across "adult content" on YouTube if barbie dot com still had flash games and this is a hill I will die on.

[murasakiibb]

got another code red moment for us... :/

please actually reblog this post this time, as this one will gut national parks for more fucking paper. we have 14 days to stop it, giving us literally no time to do so.

they are literally betting on us to not do anything about it, because they're that desperate on keeping control, and ruining lives for everyone, but themselves.

[murasakiibb]

The thing about freeing the nipple is that it's not even about if you have breasts or not (already arbitrary but I digress) it's fully just gendered oppression. There is no ontological difference between Male Nipples and Female Nipples and all of it crumbles apart if you like, think even a little about people who aren't cis + perisex & how people try to apply these rules to them

[murasakiibb]

so anyway i found my moms xfiles fanfiction from the 90′s

[murasakiibb]

I told my coworker Astrid that I was struggling to start working on my comic because setting up the laptop is somehow a very cumbersome mental task despite being very quick and easy.

She said, “Oh, how do you set it up?”

I narrowed my eyes at what was clearly a trick for my own good but it genuinely made setting up easier to think I was doing it for her benefit rather than my own.

Later that day she told me she needed to put up a window cling but didn’t want to.

I said, “Oh, how do they go up?”

She narrowed her eyes at what was clearly a trick but I could still see her pride in me using her gambit against her so quickly.

[murasakiibb]

Took me until about halfway through college before I realized “study” means “play with the material in a variety of ways until you understand it” and not just “read the assigned chapters and do the homework” and I think that probably should have been discussed at some point prior to that.

[murasakiibb]

i think we should be talking about the semi-recent advancements in cystic fibrosis treatment like all the time every day. there hasn’t been a drug like this since AZT medications for HIV infection it is truly fucking miraculous and very important

[murasakiibb]

goes hard

[murasakiibb]

Attempting a viral archery trick!

Thanks to Orissa Kelly for the inspiration! I love a good impractical archery shot, but my mobility has a way to go 😬

Patreon - everything else

[murasakiibb]

"u don't know my alphabet" is changing my brain chemistry as we speak i will start saying that every time someone wants me to label my sexuality despite me saying i don't fw that

[murasakiibb]

Unpopular opinion but if you don't enjoy the process you should find a different thing to do.

And I think this is true in general but now I'm talking about it in the context of AI.

If you don't enjoy making art and only care about the end piece and how it'll look and how much traction it"lol get online then making art is not something for you, find something you enjoy from start to finish.

Same goes for writing: if you do not enjoy writing and rewriting and then some more and instead want AI to write for you, being a writer is not something you should pursue.

Sure, not every part of creative process is going to be equally enjoyable but you should get satisfaction from solving the problems along the way and you should get a sense of accomplishment on your way of "making the piece yours" and you should have a sense of ownership once you are done.

None of these things will come from typing in a prompt into chatGPT. And I am sad to see so many people are missing on the opportunity to experience the joy of making something with their own hands and brains.