musetothemechanism

[musetothemechanism]

I don’t read the Bible, It drove you suicidal, You prefer me as your idol, Till you twist us into rivals. How can you act so primal, Then surprised when I feel frightful, You say you’re never spiteful, But you just repeat the cycle. On the brink of going viral, Now I’m spinning in a spiral, Coerced by our denial, Just another broken vinyl. You tell me I’m so bridal, Tie the reins, fit the bridle, But horses turn to glue, When you start feeling homicidal. Let’s just repeat the cycle.

[musetothemechanism]

To me, to you me

"Are you comfy?" I ask myself, And the answer is a resounding "No". She, on the other hand, seems happy. And, I can't help but feel a tinge of jealousy, as I watch her curl my lips upwards, into an expression I haven't felt in years. "She's not me!" I struggled, again, trying to release the words my lips keep hidden beneath them. But my ditches have dug themselves too deep, then, every thought in my mind too bleak, every muscle in my body too weak, I take this single step. Finally. And fall directly into an ocean. Unexpectedly deep water laps at impossible extremities, Frigid on my twisted limbs, these warping and obese obscenities, These hands became chains became tentacles to capture me, Unfathomable depths consuming each of my identities. My body stretched to unlikely proportion, My mind wrecked through unsightly contortion, Even on the last step the world might see me walking, I'm still expected; to keep fucking talking.

[musetothemechanism]

SUNFLOWER // INTERTWINED

Raindrops wake the earth, The dawn sun rises, and,

It's cold.

Breaking into my first day, Twisting up towards the sky, Longing for your golden rays, Seeking out some unknown high,

Emotions that I'd never known, Petals that had never shown, In shaded gardens I had grown, Thinking I would stay alone.

Raindrops drench the earth, The sun rises again, and, I'm warm.

The wind conveys your silent traces, Echoes untamed, honest cries, The solitude of darkened places, My will to grow, as your reply.

Stretched across the land and sea, You offer up your hand to me, Tethered I still find my way, Blossoming with break of day,

Raindrops kiss the earth, The sun still rises, and, My sun.

From this cracked pavement you emerge, No water left to nurture you, Leaves yearn to finally submerge, I feel you reach towards me, too.

Every fibre moves with purpose, Roots combined, no longer nervous, Taller than before, we rise, Just to hold you, Intertwined.

[musetothemechanism]

1994 or 5

When you ask, what have I tried, I can say, just four or five, Different substances, to make me feel like this, But none of them can make me feel alive.

I've tried. I've tried multiples and multitudes of times, To use one feeling to remove another, Exacerbate until I smother, Choked on my own smoke, I'll never think about the lies.

The lies I tell myself, even, It's all just mental health, reasoned, It's just the changing of the seasons, It can't be pain, it's, just dumb feelings.

Until it's been too long. And I can feel everything again, like no time has passed, Like the excited child I left behind before I went to class, Is knocking on the window, pacing behind the glass.

And I don't know how much longer either one of us can do this.

[musetothemechanism]

SEARCH?Q=SEARCH+HISTORY&SCA_ESV

*a poem written using unedited quotes from my online search history* i dont know what to do why does everyone shout at me what do i do i dont know how to look after myself who do i talk to lyrics for unless its you i fall into

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[musetothemechanism]

Hollow

Tap on my skin from the outside, hear the reverberation ring inside, hollow inside like china, hoping you're able to find her

Yellow brick road has been bleached white, nobody knows but it’s not right, London is falling and i’m not your darling, i’m looking for somewhere to sleep tight

Tap on my skin from the outside, hear the reverberation ring inside, the cracks that are forming are not worth ignoring, it’s like I was never built for life

Something inside me is not right, Like you’ve flipped off a switch and i’m not bright, I know that you’re human but i’m not assuming, that anything that you do is nice

Don’t dance with me again my friend, I don’t have a choice. Don’t dance with me again my friend, I don’t have a choice.

open up your eyes, something isn’t right, i don’t feel alive, I don’t feel alive.

open up your eyes, something isn’t right, I don’t feel alive, I don’t feel alive…

Tap on my skin from the outside, hear the reverberation ring inside, my mind is trying to align to the things, that have been hidden from me all my life.

This building's too much like a prison, There’s nothing inside me but rhythm, You burned out my soul now i’ve only one goal, And I picked up this knife with a mission.

Tap on your skin from the outside, hear the rushing of blood from your insides, You're made of nothing but I am still something, It’s like you were never built for life.

Fall to the floor this is not right, She opens the door and she takes flight, I’m happy its over but i’m still enclosed here, I’m the one who made the sacrifice.

Don’t dance with me again my friend, you don’t have a choice. Don’t dance with me again my friend, you don’t have a choice.