musingsofafairy

[musingsofafairy]

guys being down bad is NOT fun (I'm lying, it's so fun, i'm giggling and kicking my feet). unfortunately, or fortunately, i still want this man bad, i don't know why, i don't know where this has come from. ugggghhhh his face is so pretty and lord have mercy on my soul when i see his biceps and back muscles. Yesterday, we made eye contact and neither of us looked away, call me delusional, i think we're soul tied now. today during class i had to have my teacher sign something and i turned around to show a couple of my friends after and he sits kind of behind and in between them kind of. i was showing my friends and my man (tehe) was listening to me and he asked me questions. why? what for? baby, you can't do that to me, i'm going to lose my mind, i want you BAD and you have the nerve to open your mouth and speak to me, a professional yearner? no babe stop please i have things i need to do. manifesting for him HARD, i don't want a boyfriend, i want MY man to be my boyfriend.

[musingsofafairy]

last friday i got into umich, isn't that fantastic? sometimes i find photos of myself wearing my umich sweatshirt and this feeling washes over me. it's a bit hard to describe but i want to try, it's like knowing that despite all the hardship and tears i did it, that everything i've worked for for the past four years of my life paid off, like i am the person i suspected i was. at the end of the day i am the same person who wore that sweatshirt and thought the only thing i wanted to get in, and i did it, it's wonderful.

[musingsofafairy]

guys please bare with me while i hold space for a motherfucking MAN. what did i do to deserve this? a crush is all fun and games until i can't not think about him. who am i? why am i wearing my favorite outfits on days i know i'm going to see him on? this is its own form of torture, i want him so bad. how am i supposed to function like this? i should get time off school because i can't even do my homework in peace. i'm down so bad, i want him to hold me like pictured above. and the worst part? i don't want this to go away, the dopamine kick is a beautiful feeling. please manifest for me that i get this man because i don't know if i'll survive if i don't.