mxchris

[mxchris]

“Everything is burning, my soul, body, outside, inside, heart, flesh. Do you understand? Do you really understand?”

María Casares, from a letter to Albert Camus written c. March 1952

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i love you, it looks like rain, June Gehringer

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I don’t wanna get out of bed. I don’t wanna eat. I don’t wanna go to work. I don’t want to go anywhere. I just wanna fall asleep and never wake up.

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Ew. This is me when I’m sad.

"I did not like to be touched, but it was a strange dislike. I did not like to be touched because I craved it too much. I wanted to be held very tight so I would not break."

-Marya Hornbacher, Wasted

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I fear i have forgotten how to sleep.

How to fall into bed and let myself go

Go down into blissful unconsciousness

Without trepidation.

Instead I have turned my bed into

Something different

Something wrong.

I stay awake like a child, reading books under the covers with a flashlight.

And my mother no longer comes to catch me

Like she did when i was 12.

Now I fight sleep off, as if it hurts.

But sleep doesn’t hurt.

Waking up does.

Sleep convinces me everything is good

And the waking world reminds me its not.

[mxchris]

fuck the supreme court of the united states of america.

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Oh god. Yup.

girls who said “girls can lift chairs too” when the teacher asked for strong boys to lift chairs are gay now - i don’t make the rules

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The man who taught me love

..

taught me pain.

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I just want someone who has never hurt me to hold me like they are sorry for everyone who has.

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March; something different is here. The pain sobs without a single tear shed. I caress the pasture of love , moaning in the distant woodland / tethered forestground. Softness gathers , always amidst the mildew or the unspoken meadow. Green , you resemble the earth in my chart , my body , my room -- I request for tenderness , for luck upon the celebrated day of St Patrick -- take me to calmness , take me to the peace I deserve , take me to where: I no longer feel restless -

D C de Oliveira | March 17 2022 | Thursday , 11.11am

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“Loyalty isn’t grey. It’s black and white. You’re either loyal completely, or not loyal at all. And people have to understand this. You can’t be loyal only when it serves you.”

— Sharnay