my-cinderspace-blog

[my-cinderspace-blog]

Check our Facebook Page

[my-cinderspace-blog]

Daily Inspirational and relatable quote pictures! Follow for more.

[my-cinderspace-blog]

My love

Cole Sprouse

[my-cinderspace-blog]

Naive

I hate how I let myself be so naive. Believing that someone who could cheat with me, could be with me. It's kinda ironic how what happened to his girlfriend, happened to me. I guess you could say now I certainly believe in karma. How the hurt inflicted on her, not even a few weeks ago is now exactly what I am feeling at this very moment. Scary how quickly things can turn around in a matter of days, how one day he is sitting in my house arms wrapped around me kissing every part of my face. Being told how lucky he is to have me. To the next, telling me the feelings for his now ex are still there and how we are better off friends. The hurt I'm feeling is something I haven't felt since I was 13 and madly in love with a boy that pre-pubescent me couldn't even speak to.. and that's saying something. I didn't realise how much I liked him until the moment I realised I was losing him. We weren't even remotely together, but thinking of him with her made me feel like crying. I guess you get what you dish out, I know that now. I've spend the last two days finding it difficult to not let my eyes pour out a river, I guess cry me a river has more of a meaning to me now then ever. How the same day I found out we were no longer whatever we were, I had to see him in work, see the face I'd kissed what felt like a thousand times. To see the hands that had held me, and the arms I'd fallen asleep in. The blues eyes, his smile. To see the boy who less then four hours before I still believe might've been my first boyfriend, eventually. To have this boy then leave work and message me to tell me he still wanted to see me, and that when he saw me he realised he'd made a mistake. That it was up to me if I still wanted to see him despite that I was to know he'd still be meeting with his ex. To then less then 24 hours later then change his mind again and say we are (for me not to get hurt) better as just friends, for the second time in just over a day. Crazy to think one of the first thoughts I'd had, was that I'd wished he'd never told me he was still meeting with her, and then I could still see him and spend time and kiss him. How I would've preferred to be lied to just so it didn't look naive and stupid of me to still want to spend time with him. Sometimes I think us girls can be so easily driven, my feelings in particular can be relatively intense.. considering I'm usually very picky and find myself never liking any boy. But for once I did. My hearts broken, and the thought of a 6 hour shift with him tomorrow, I don't know how I'm gonna get through it without crying. And he says we can still be friends, but I don't think I can. To spend the day looking at his face, knowing he's kissing someone else, holding someone else, loving someone else, will be enough to make me cry a river.

[my-cinderspace-blog]

Again and again. I could not say this enough. Do not be ashamed of the wars your soul has fought to save itself.