my-feelings-are-valid - Tumblr blog

my-feelings-are-valid · 2 months ago

Text

20th April 2025

Happy Easter from the most beautiful island in the world! I am hormonal, in love, and well-fed. Let’s sum up.

Research program is going well. There are vague talks about a PhD but I am too much of a coward to commit. Will have to stress this topic again, however. I try to be as active as I can — in August (and my birthday week, particularly) I will be attending a summer school in Latvia. Can’t wait.

I have a very small amount of friends. I don’t feel bad about it, honestly. My fomo has eased up because I realised I am free to do most of the things I truly want to. And one person has helped tremendously. About that…

I broke off my long term, long distance relationship, as I realised I was catching feelings for a coworker I met when I changed buildings. The chemistry was instant and off the charts. He approached me shyly and gently and with the help of our mutual friend, it happened. We are together for 5 months and I am, in fact, deeply in love with that man. We have many differences, but many similarities too. I don’t want to say too much, but I see a future with that person. I don’t know how and where and when, but I do.

I will come back to this one day to share more. Lots of cat kisses to my future self who will come back to this.

0 notes

my-feelings-are-valid · 2 months ago

Text

April 2025

It’s very interesting how easily I lied to myself back then. I was never truly in love with that man. I had actually no clue how it was to be IN LOVE with a man.

14th of December 2018

This year was pretty much wack but you make up for everything.

I LOOOOVE YOU

1 note · View note

my-feelings-are-valid · 1 year ago

Text

Oh and I love my cat way too much to function.

1 June 2024

So, a small update just to keep this place updated.

I am almost 25, I live with my mum. I have a master's degree, graduating in a few days. I have picked a beautiful red balloon dress. It's going to be hidden - we will be wearing gowns. Stoked because we didn't get to wear a gown in my previous graduation due to COVID. I've lost 6 kg since February and I look so good.

I just got accepted into a research program. Even if I tried I couldn't get more validated. Last month I was travelling for a conference. I am doing very well.

Nobody is invalidating or gaslighting me anymore. I took care of that and ended what had to be ended. I feel very light. There are still people around me. I might as well try to repair burned bridges of the past.

A few people I've met online have been straight up amazing. I am so lucky. I have a hobby which is really making me happy and active. In a few days we are attending the concert of an amazing artist who has made us proud.

I think everything is finally working well :)

1 note · View note

my-feelings-are-valid · 1 year ago

Text

1 June 2024

So, a small update just to keep this place updated.

I am almost 25, I live with my mum. I have a master's degree, graduating in a few days. I have picked a beautiful red balloon dress. It's going to be hidden - we will be wearing gowns. Stoked because we didn't get to wear a gown in my previous graduation due to COVID. I've lost 6 kg since February and I look so good.

I just got accepted into a research program. Even if I tried I couldn't get more validated. Last month I was travelling for a conference. I am doing very well.

Nobody is invalidating or gaslighting me anymore. I took care of that and ended what had to be ended. I feel very light. There are still people around me. I might as well try to repair burned bridges of the past.

A few people I've met online have been straight up amazing. I am so lucky. I have a hobby which is really making me happy and active. In a few days we are attending the concert of an amazing artist who has made us proud.

I think everything is finally working well :)

1 note · View note

my-feelings-are-valid · 1 year ago

Text

That bitch got her ass whooped in the end <3

I have been consistently gaslit for around a year and I am about to burst.

1 note · View note

my-feelings-are-valid · 1 year ago

Text

1 June 2024

I am unstoppable :)

0 notes

my-feelings-are-valid · 2 years ago

Text

It's funny because 2 years later, I am still a social failure. Welp. At least I have an income. And will have a master's degree soon. Bitches hate me but I have money!

3 January 2022

This is liberating.

No one will ever see this post since Tumblr is as dead as my grandma at this point, which is a good thing because this is my journal, I'm not meant to be declaring anything, to anyone. I am spending the Christmas holidays in my family home, which at this point is nothing but a dungeon, my quarantine dungeon. The pandemic hit me, and hit me hard. It's difficult for me to call it a trauma, but boy does it feel like one. It's a shame that almost nobody thinks that what I feel is valid.

And although I did well by escaping my dungeon for the entirety of the summer and all the way until now, by working my ass off and attending my last 2 university courses in the place where I study, it's inevitably coming to swallow me again by mid-February: I'm getting my degree. And quitting the island.

What scares me the most is not my (future) job, not my master's, literally nothing more than what is my future as a social being. Which is the absolute stupidest thing to worry about, but look at me. See, part of the reason of why this place was a dungeon for me had to do a lot with whoever was with me. I don't like blaming others, and I might sound selfish, but my agony has nothing to do with me. I'm sorry, but it just doesn't. I'm not the problem.

As I wrote in my short, pathetic, previous blog post, a particular person has been gaslighting my ass off consistently for the past year, constantly invalidating me, belittling and offending me. And since I was never a recipient of bullying, not even in my most vulnerable, when I was being a teen, I will not tolerate being one now, at almost 23. Why did I not confront the said person? Probably for the sake of my short-term mental stability.

The problem is, of course, how on earth am I escaping an abusive relationship with the least possible impact, since I'm probably one of the least confrontational people I know of?

Maybe this is the call for me to make another step into maturity.

You'll know the outcome in a year or two when I come back, I guess.

1 note · View note

my-feelings-are-valid · 2 years ago

Text

13th December 2023

Now wait, I might be onto something. I want to do my yearly update but I gotta wait a bit because I want to end one more thing before I do it.

Or two things :)

0 notes

my-feelings-are-valid · 2 years ago

Text

GAHAHAHAHAH BITCH. HE NEVER CARED. I wish I could meet my 17 year old self and tell her all the tea!

And we might never end up together but it’s like we are in a relationship.

We get eachother. You send me guitar covers and we spend time discussing all about Ed Sheeran. You have subtly dedicated me Tenerife Sea. People claim that you are an inaccessible person, but I can actually read you. When we kissed you were tender, you wanted to make sure I’d enjoy it as much as possible. You wanted me to be calm and composed. After all, how couldn’t I be? I was in your embrace. My home.

1 note · View note

my-feelings-are-valid · 2 years ago

Text

10th January 2023

This is interesting. I think I started this in late 2013 and it's 2023 already? Insane to think of.

I'm doing fine. Like, everything's fine. That degree is done with, my master's is underway. I've settled back into the big city. Which said big city sucks, by the way. Literally sucks the life out of you. Good for me since I live in the suburbs, I guess.

Social life-wise, I'm also doing pretty good, since I see that this was my main concern last year. It was never that big of an issue anyway, I was just being dramatic. As always. To my good fortune, my gaslighter friend has eased up, while my master's classmates are straight up trolls and I'm having lots of fun with them. All good.

At this point I must add that due to that stress of mine last year, I became active on Twitter. So, I have a separate, online presence, with a virtual social life. Is this good for me? I don't really think so. But at least I crippledly socialize while having fun.

Love life wise... I... have no idea what I'm doing, honestly. I am in a long distance relationship, but the distance is more than just physical, as it seems.

I don't have much to say, which is a good thing because I am not ranting.

See you whenever.

0 notes

my-feelings-are-valid · 3 years ago

Text

Straight-up bullshit.

(I like the idea of commenting on my old stuff, bear with me)

That ill-functioning relationship part gets me, because I was talking to my ex every day, all day at that point and now we are back together doing great but let's not.

Also, the friend part: bullshit. I might as well as stop believing in the concept of friendship alltogether.

...am I going through my nihilist phase? Perhaps.

25th of May 2020

Ha, there goes nothing.

I actually really enjoy this whole idea of *barely* posting as I can spot huge contrasts on my life immediately. I would have no problem if the next time I posted would be right after my university graduation. Though, I have one full year left.

I’m not going to lie and say that this whole quarantine thing was a walk in the park because it plainly wasn’t, but honestly, out of 10, I’d give it an ultimate difficulty of 4. I did fine.

The idea and execution of online courses repulses me and I hate every second of it. Nothing can replace human contact, nothing ever will, period.

Relaxed as the measures are at the moment though, I got to see my fantastic friends, since I am back in my hometown. And it’s incredible, because I went through a massive ‘friend-cleansing’ a while ago and honestly, I feel great. I see older posts of mine complaining of not enough understanding from my friends, and I realize that this was in fact a pattern which was going on for a couple of years. The people that are close to me at the moment however, happen to very understanding.

The title of my blog is quite inaccurate. Teenagerhood ends at 20 and I am almost 21. Whatever, as if.

I did grieve the abrupt end of a great university year. I made some great friends, and frankly, they made my university life far, far greater than I could ever imagine. Also I did great with my courses, now I have now idea how will this go.

I broke up off this ill-functioning relationship and I feel good about that, actually. I realized that the tears I actually shed were because of the general loss of a boyfriend, not so much about the particular person. Those tears stopped however, because I am an independent woman, whenever I find another boyfriend, that’s fine.

These past 2 weeks have been defining, because I got to see many people from my past. Sometimes I literally feel as if it’s 2016, tomorrow I have an Algebra course, and Rihanna’s Work is #1 on the charts. I feel good about the fact that I could face my mistakes (they are in the form and shape of actual people, see) and laugh about them, too

I think that this period has matured me, overall.

1 note · View note

my-feelings-are-valid · 3 years ago

Text

3 January 2022

This is liberating.

No one will ever see this post since Tumblr is as dead as my grandma at this point, which is a good thing because this is my journal, I'm not meant to be declaring anything, to anyone. I am spending the Christmas holidays in my family home, which at this point is nothing but a dungeon, my quarantine dungeon. The pandemic hit me, and hit me hard. It's difficult for me to call it a trauma, but boy does it feel like one. It's a shame that almost nobody thinks that what I feel is valid.

And although I did well by escaping my dungeon for the entirety of the summer and all the way until now, by working my ass off and attending my last 2 university courses in the place where I study, it's inevitably coming to swallow me again by mid-February: I'm getting my degree. And quitting the island.

What scares me the most is not my (future) job, not my master's, literally nothing more than what is my future as a social being. Which is the absolute stupidest thing to worry about, but look at me. See, part of the reason of why this place was a dungeon for me had to do a lot with whoever was with me. I don't like blaming others, and I might sound selfish, but my agony has nothing to do with me. I'm sorry, but it just doesn't. I'm not the problem.

As I wrote in my short, pathetic, previous blog post, a particular person has been gaslighting my ass off consistently for the past year, constantly invalidating me, belittling and offending me. And since I was never a recipient of bullying, not even in my most vulnerable, when I was being a teen, I will not tolerate being one now, at almost 23. Why did I not confront the said person? Probably for the sake of my short-term mental stability.

The problem is, of course, how on earth am I escaping an abusive relationship with the least possible impact, since I'm probably one of the least confrontational people I know of?

Maybe this is the call for me to make another step into maturity.

You'll know the outcome in a year or two when I come back, I guess.

1 note · View note

my-feelings-are-valid · 3 years ago

Text

I have been consistently gaslit for around a year and I am about to burst.

1 note · View note

my-feelings-are-valid · 5 years ago

Text

You are your beautiful self

I understand that what I’m going to be talking about is massively cliche. I have just posted my life update but my thoughts keep running, I absolutely can’t stop there.

I have the need to say it too, because it is honestly overanalyzed and yet people seem to completely bypass it. YOURSELF IS JUST FINE.

YOU DO YOU, ALWAYS, NEVER SETTLE.

IN THE END IT’S GOING TO BE YOU. YOU WERE BORN ALONE (unless you were a twin), YOU DIE BY YOURSELF.

Whenever you see someone complain about something that makes you, yourself, about something that you do and feel good about it, leave. This person is not for you. We are 7 billion people in this planet. There are people for you, and they also search for people like you.

I am my beautiful self, I do things a certain way, I harm no one, I will continue as such. Nobody has the right to make me stop. Myself is enough.

#personal