my-not-so-secret-online-diary

[my-not-so-secret-online-diary]

Things I wish people had told me when I was in high school (Contributed to by my friends)

During the summer of your sophomore and junior year, go visit a college. It can be literally any college, but go visit one

At some point before your senior year, you're going to have to have a talk with your parents. Whether that's telling them that you don't want to go to college, and outlining what your future is going to look like, or talking about your college plans, you need to talk to them. If you are planning on going to college, you might want to find out if they have any money saved for you

Your grades aren't everything. Although important, it's okay if you don't have a perfect grade

Get to know some of your teachers (especially in your junior year!). These are the people that will be writing recommendation letters for your college applications, or giving a reference for a job. Get to know them, and let them get to know you

Learn what your studying/ learning style is

Enjoy the little moments

Absolutely NOBODY is thinking about that really weird/ embarrassing thing that you did. They're all focusing on the really weird/ embarrassing thing that they did

It's okay if your interests change

Try to find at least one reliable person in each of your classes you can count on to take notes for you when you're absent, or re-explain lessons to you that you didn't understand

Don't be afraid to take risks

Stay out of the school bathrooms if you can. Just... you gotta trust me on this one

Your principal can be one of the most helpful people you will ever get to know. Get to know them in good ways though

If you have a friend that's trying to isolate you from your other friends, dump them. They're a toxic friend, and you really don't need that in your life

If you're dating somebody, consider the red flags your friends are telling you about in that person. Sometimes we don't wanna see the bad in our significant others

Stay away from fast food jobs (if you can). It's all fun and games until your nightly routine consists of taking a shower after work because you brought the smell home with you

All nighters are all people talk about, but trust me, you’re going to want to keep them to a minimum, unless you like to crawl out of bed in the morning feeling like you’ve never slept a day in your life, and then the crippling thought will hit you that you still. have. to go. to. school.

Every friend group has a Mom. Embrace yours.

Don’t put off doing things. Go to that stupid football game, join drama club, try out for that sport, go on those field trips, embrace your inner geek. Just have fun. Nobody’s going to judge you… high school is nothing like the movies

Take stupid electives. Colleges don’t put as much emphasis on your high school classes as you think they do.

Volunteer in class, embrace group activities, ask questions. Teachers are still going to call on you, or make you do that project. It’s a lot less scary when you just embrace the fact that it’s going to happen. Nobody’s going to judge you for asking the questions they, too, have, or for stumbling over your words while giving an oral presentation. We’re all human, and have been there at some point or another

Keep a journal of some sort, and write one good (or maybe sometimes bad, but I like to focus on the good) thing about your day. It doesn’t have to be anything big. I swear. Maybe it’s just that you packed your favorite chips for lunch, or your friend returned to school after being sick the last few days. Date each journal, and journal entry, and buy a new one for each year of high school. It’s cool to look back at that sort of stuff; you don’t realize how much you’ve actually changed until you look back

Get comfortable with using a planner. I know. I just heard the “but why would I need that??? I’ve never used a planner…” Trust me. Get comfortable with it. It will be one of the best investments you make

Take the cringy pictures. You’ll look back someday, and be simultaneously disappointed, and happy

Sometimes… adults DON’T have all the answers. That’s an uncomfortable thought. You’ll realize more and more, as you start having more mature conversations with your family, that adults don’t have the answers all the time

If there’s something abnormal that starts healthwise, please, go to the doctor! Learn from my mistakes

As a high school freshman, you qualify for scholarships... check them out

Stop procrastinating.

Just... enjoy it! It goes by a lot faster than you think it will

[my-not-so-secret-online-diary]

I remember in high school always being told that college would be a completely different realm, but i never really believed it until earlier this year. I mean, sure, there was some stuff that happened in high school, but until this year, I never really knew what people were talking about when it came to college, and their professors. Until my english professor showed up high. And not a good high either. As a student, I always thought it was common knowledge that if you took too much cough syrup (y'all know the type i'm discussing?), then you'd get a paranoid high. But no, apparently she had no idea. And it actually got to the point that the ambulance had to be called. It gets worse though. The next day she returns, proud as all hell, and tells all of us that there was no need for concern about her health, but she loved all the concern. Then proceeds to tell us everything that she had learnt through the doctor. Including the fact that she was high. And our school was going to do nothing about it. Not even a leave of absence (typical high school teacher punishment (from where i live, at least)). I'm not even joking when i say that i just sat there the entire time just wondering what i had gotten into. But yeah. If anybody was wondering, that's my crazy professor story!

[my-not-so-secret-online-diary]

I've got to look so flattering right now. Been crying for the last two hours. I barely have a voice left, and i can only imagine what my face looks like. Love crying myself to sleep at night

[my-not-so-secret-online-diary]

Trying not to cry, as i know if i do, i won't be able to stop

[my-not-so-secret-online-diary]

Is anybody elses parents really enthusiastic about weird ideas you have? Like, it isn't a bad thing, but I'm just wondering if it's just my parents.

For example:

Me: Casually mentions that I want to change my hair and bangs

My mom: Sends me a ton of pictures of different hair styles

Or:

Me: Casually mentions that I've thought about investing in a pair of blue light glasses

My mom: Pulls up a few different styles of blue light glasses for me to look at that aren't really too expensive

Or even:

Me: Mentions I kind of want to get a nose piercing

My dad: Talks about how I should get my septum pierced

[my-not-so-secret-online-diary]

Not even joking. I swear somebody just walked into my room. I felt footsteps, heard the medals on my wall chime, and it sounded like they walked straight over to my radio. Yet when i just turned to look, there was nobody there. I didn't need sleep anyways

[my-not-so-secret-online-diary]

I'm currently listening to the top gun soundtrack. (It's a movie if you've never heard of it. I actually grew up watching it, as my parents love it. If you've never watched it, i recommend) I can't decide if i want to rewatch the movie, or if i want to go destroy something. Maybe a mix of both

[my-not-so-secret-online-diary]

So. My anxiety is currently through the roof. I actually spent all day shaking it was so bad. I don't want to give anything too major away, but it was insanely nerve wracking today for me. But, here i am. I made it through the day. And nothing insanely bad happened. I can do this

[my-not-so-secret-online-diary]

Today was my first real performance since covid. (I mean, we've technically done a few since, but they were either streamed online, or just one song. So I'm not really counting them.) And it's just so strange. It was like i was that small child walking onstage for the first time, all over again. Like, since then I've achieved so much. I've gotten to go down an incredible path of music. And I'm so thankful every day for it. I couldn't imagine where I'd be if i hadn't. I've gotten to get to know so many amazing people! I've made friends (and lost a few), along the way. And sure, a lot has changed, but that's okay. It's been the journey along the way to get back tonight that's been most memorable

[my-not-so-secret-online-diary]

16/12/21... 06:44

Happy hunger games!!!!!

[my-not-so-secret-online-diary]

Every song our band plays makes me miss home so badly

[my-not-so-secret-online-diary]

[my-not-so-secret-online-diary]

I've been betrayed so much lately. And maybe I've met some better people along the way. But it still hurts

[my-not-so-secret-online-diary]

I wonder who would notice if i deleted my main Tumblr

[my-not-so-secret-online-diary]

I think I'm going to try an experiment on my main account. Just to see

[my-not-so-secret-online-diary]

There's so many toxic people in my life that i can't wait to leave when i graduate. Whether it's classmates, ex's, teammates, "friends", etc... They're just people that i honestly don't need in my life at this point.

[my-not-so-secret-online-diary]

This is my new proposed Bigender flag! This one is a little more balanced in my opinion, and these are the meaning of the colors!

Purple- Fluidity between genders and gender expression

Muted Pink- Femininity, female identity, and feminine gender expression

Tangerine- Co existence of different genders, gender identity, and gender expression

Yellow- Gender identity, and gender expression outside of the binary

White- Expression or identity incorporating the absence or semi-absence of gender

Blue- Masculinity male gender identity, and masculine gender expression

July 15 2021 - Fandomnus