myalantiswefall

[myalantiswefall]

🪽 ⠀˟₊ ⠀⸝⸝⠀12/11/2024﹕Check In

tldr ; things are getting bad again. i don't know if I'll be okay.

❛ I didn't get the chance to r3str1ct OR purg3. i couldn't even reach our step goal for the day, too. :/ I feel like I'm failing @n@. I'm failing at my ONE job in this system. R3str1ct and lose w31ght. I don't think I can do anything right at this point..

❛ in other news, we're taking a break relationship wise from the bodies/systems main partner. Things are tough right now. Coming up on the 17th, we have an event the two of us have been planning to be a romantic date for a few months, but there's currently a strict no romance rule in place. Which i understand, and am kinda thankful for. Things have been getting worse between us for a while. I don't know if our relationship will make it - and I have not a soul to talk to about it. I'm crying on tumblr about it. I am so. Lonely. I don't have any friends. Any friends I do have I share with our partner or they were friends with our partner first.

❛ our collective mental health has been SO fucking bad. We've been spiraling and getting worse for months. We are having a psychotic breakdown as well. Everything paired together is so. Much. I want to v0m1t my guts up until I'm th1n enough to not take up any more space. Our mom has been telling us we need to lose more w31ght and that we need to go on a better diet. Which has not been helping.

“ To be a star, you must burn „

- big bowl in the sky : cavetown

[myalantiswefall]

ok what??! <3

[myalantiswefall]

If anyone has meanspo that they wanna send my way dm me pls! Please refrain from commenting bc it can be triggering for people who dont want to hear it but my dms are open :)

some th!nspo for y’all:

[myalantiswefall]

you’re such a pig.

put that food down. you’re only going to get fatter if you eat that. nobody wants a fattie like you. all you do is eat, eat, eat. maybe the reason you’re not at your GW is the fact that you only eat gross, fatty food. get off of tumblr and go workout. burn those calories. you should ALWAYS be in a deficit.

[myalantiswefall]

You hate your body and yet you keep stuffing your face. No, you don’t deserve a treat for one day of self-control. And no, you don’t need to eat more—what you need is to get your shit together.

[myalantiswefall]

Dms are also okay <3

[myalantiswefall]

No one in my life understands that it's not "just about f00d"

It's the voice in my head SCREAMING at me that 3at1ng is equivalent to failure & shame; that the number on the scale is the determiner for my happiness.

[myalantiswefall]

my name is Atlantis, Alexandria, and Vegas. I use almost exclusively neopronouns. My main sets are gore/gores/goreself & rot/rots/rotself! I'm an alter in a system.

Bodily, we are 21 years old - me, personally? I am 26. This is a side blog. This is my way of coping with our ED - by getting my thoughts and feelings out and journaling when I can.

When I talk about w31ght, it's referring to our collective w31ght - not my in system w31ght. My / our eventual goal is to recover - we want to lose w31ght regardless. But we are not in a stable environment to have any control beyond @n@ </3

Please do not report. This is genuinely one of the only outlets I have that will not make my life far worse. I live in a highly abusive place with the bodies partner (it is not abusive - my mother is).

Gw : 100 lbs

Cw : 297 lbs - 293.7 lbs depending on the scale.

[myalantiswefall]

[myalantiswefall]

You can do it. Just a little bit more. Just keep ⭐ing...

[myalantiswefall]

Goals.

[myalantiswefall]

Student Spø Board

PLEASE DO NOT REBLOG W/ TAGS! My last blog got termed

Th1n5p0:

M3al ideas:

[myalantiswefall]

Best way to ruin appetite?

Over season the food, or use too much sauce/dressing e.c.t

Took one bite and became nauseous.

[myalantiswefall]

th1nsp0 for u <3

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[myalantiswefall]

[myalantiswefall]

the morning is when i’m at my lightest.

[myalantiswefall]

3.

This. This is something. It's so... I don't know. Pure. Just skin and bones. This is my goal.