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How to start out as an actor in South Africa

In the past few weeks I have noticed many people with lots of passion looking at how to become an actor. Now this career is not for the faint of heart, so before we go any further, if you are not completely dedicated and given over to the craft – do not even attempt it. If, as my dear friend Rajesh Gopie so aptly puts it, you are more in love with the idea of yourself being an actor than the art of acting itself – go and study accounting. You will not make it.

However, if you are in, here are some tips to follow when starting out.

1.    Get some training

Even though a lot of actors in South Africa do not have degrees in Drama or have not studied at all, I would still suggest you learn some technique. Acting is about learning how to have control over your voice and body in order to achieve certain effects. If you are not trained at all, you will not have the same advantages as other performers with the same amount of talent as you who have trained.

There are many acting courses and workshops available. Try Rajesh Gopie’s Actorwize Foundation course, Steven Feinstein’s Indigo View training academies or Tom Fairfoot who is currently running some actor training courses. All these people also offer one on one training sessions if you prefer to work alone.

The notable casting director Bonnie Lee Bouman also runs workshops occasionally; you can look at her website or Facebook page for more information.

Even as a seasoned actor, it is so important to keep attending workshops and courses. Please keep in mind however, that none of these workshops are free, and it is worthy to note that one should be willing to spend money on one’s craft.

2.    Take some head-shots and create a resume

Before getting an agent, it is important to create an acting resume. This is a short document including your measurements (height, weight, eye colour etc) as well as a professional head-shot of you and a brief history of your acting experience. There are many templates available online. The simpler the better here; agents and casting directors get inundated with these on a daily basis and therefore do not want to have to work hard to get an idea of who you are.

Again, you will have to spend money on getting a professional head-shot taken. Do not be tempted to take a selfie on your phone.

Head-shots need to be natural as well as flattering. It is a common complaint in Casting Director offices that actors do not look at all like the glamorous head-shots they present.

Photographers like Robyn Davie and Justin Lee are brilliant at taking portraits that accurately represent what you look like. Both of these artists can be found online as well as on Facebook. 

3.    Get an agent

An agent is an essential part of working as an actor in SA. Without one, you will not be able to go for castings and auditions. Casting directors usually work solely through agents and it is difficult for an artist to secure auditions without one. Also, agents are there to protect you, as they are responsible for contracts and paperwork and can help with tax.

Usually, agents will request to meet you in person before signing you on. Before that however, they will require you to send them a resume with all your acting experience. This is where training will help, as you can always refer to the courses you have taken. 

A full list of reputable agents can be found online at www.filmcontact.com/directory/actors-agents . An acting agency should NOT ask for a sign up fee, as they are technically being employed by you and not the other way around. Shop around first, and make sure that the agencies you approach align themselves with the type of artist you want to become.

Well done! You are now well-informed. Please remember that acting is a job. It is not for people who want fame and fortune. It is tough but it can also be madly rewarding. Let me know in the comments below if you would like me to explain anything else relating to this topic, or write any more articles like this one.

Break a leg my darlings,

I look forward to hearing your success stories!

Sarah

 Xoxox

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What I have learnt in 2017 (and some other things I still need to learn)

2017 has been a hard year. It has been full of surprises and trials and has basically shown me that life is quite a bitch.

But never fear dear Reader! Here are some helpful lessons to get you through 2018 with style, pizzazz and a whole lot of love.

1.       Never count your chickens before they have hatched

“What’s this?”

You say gloomily as you had expected something more original than this over-tired metaphor.  Let me illuminate you.

This year I had an audition for a commercial, which went rather unremarkably and thus was soon forgotten. Then I got a callback which went rather well (the director was in stitches), and then a phone call from my darling agent to say “you have it! You have done it! You are a real star now!”

So I prepared and I practised and I imagined what I would do with the remuneration. Then I went to the wardrobe, went to the shoot, shot the footage and went home a very happy little actress.

A few months later, my agent called to inform me that I was not going to be featured. My character didn’t serve the story anymore and I wasn’t going to get paid anything except for the time I had spent on set.

I was gutted. This was supposed to be my break. I was finally going to be paid well for doing something I love and am good at.

And I had told all my friends and family and acquaintances and the guy who sells mangoes on the street to watch TV for my face!

Also the money. Oh the sweet, sweet money I had already spent in my head. It was a disaster and I cried the whole afternoon.

Then I picked myself up and vowed never ever ever to count on anything again until the cash was in my hand.

2.       A mess leads to general anxiety

My mother will leap for joy when she reads this but she was right all along. When my car is dirty, or my dishes aren’t done, or my cupboard looks like the handbag of a scarecrow, then I feel stressed. If I take a few minutes every day to tidy up and put things away and vacuum the floor, I can conquer the world.

3.       Constant introspection is vital

We are flawed creatures. We always think we are right and have never wronged anyone. Confronting your flaws and listening to the people who love you is the only way to grow.

I have learned that sacrificing my needs for other people is unhealthy. I have learned that I can construct how people see me by how I speak about myself. I have learned that I can’t control everything but I can control my thoughts.

I’m not saying turn into David Avocado Wolfe. But it is nice to be kind to yourself.

What I still need to learn:

1.       How to not compare myself to others

Instagram is the devil. The other day I spent an hour crying and shouting and staring at myself in the mirror because I had seen a photo of a beautiful brown blonde girl who is everything I am not.

I always look at others and imagine their life as happy and successful, without any of the doubts and hardships that I have to endure. No matter how many times that I hear that I am beautiful, I still feel inferior. I’m not sure if it is our culture that has to change or me, but I’m working on it. I’m also open to any tips from people who have honestly conquered this.

2.       How to not panic about money

It may come from being poor when I was young, but I always have this worry bubbling underneath everything I do. How many hours should I work to be happy with how much money I have? Should I get another job? Should I be eating potato bread right now?

I guess this is not a unique concern but it is something I want to figure out.

3.       How to bake nice looking Christmas cookies

Seriously, my Christmas cookies this year tasted delicious but looked like they were made by a troupe of left-handed babies.  My mother liked them, but she thinks everything I do is a miracle.

Happy New Year lovelies

I wish you luck and success and loads of champers

Xoxox

 Sarah

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How I read a book and thought about my Whiteness

This is a review of a book I read last June while visiting a friend in Port Elizabeth. It moved me deeply because of its subject matter; it made me laugh and it made me bawl my eyes out. I couldn’t stop thinking about it, and so I bought it for my mother to read and then I bought it again when I saw it at a second hand book sale.

Alexander Fuller, was born in England in 1969 and then was shipped off to Rhodesia (now Zimbabwe) with her family when she was three.

Under the Tree of Forgetfulness is a biography in many ways, whose central character is Alexandra’s mum; Nicola Fuller. Poignant and honest; this is a book every African should read.

“War is Africa’s perpetual ripe fruit. There is so much injustice to resolve, such desire for revenge in the blood of the people, such crippling corruption of power, such unseemly scramble for the natural resources. The wind of power shifts and there go the fruit again, tumbling toward the ground, each war more inventively terrible than the last”

I have felt out of place ever since I was born. And yet my soul has always felt at home in the red dust of Africa. Fuller’s memories resonate with me, because even though Zimbabwe and South Africa are separate places, they have always struggled together.

And for the white girl I am; this book was a reminder of my history.

Born in 1991, three years before democracy; I have known no life other than freedom. However, twenty one years after the constitution was signed; I am still realizing the remnants of my privilege.

Fuller does not tread lightly when it comes to race and the despicable things perpetrated by the Rhodesians. She calls the coloniser out for who he is and the absolute hell he has wrought.  She speaks openly about the hatred and the inequality and the war.

I have only fond memories of Rhodesia. My own mother grew up there. I remember my Grandmother’s farm.

A rolling orchard. Dried up skins abandoned by snakes. Robert Mugabe speaking on the grainy box TV. A pillow embroidered by Granny Babwe (she lived in Zim – therefore that must be her name). And yet I had been shielded from the truth. A history and a home built from the blood and sweat of an entire people.

Fuller proudly reminisces. She is not ashamed of her roots but she is honest about them. She knows that she cannot change the past but she can change how she goes forward. And this gave me hope.

For the white African, it seems a gargantuan task. I cannot win. I am happy in my own privilege.

But I want to challenge myself to be different. To try. To continue to read, to educate myself.

To listen.

To try my best to understand that apartheid was not just the restricting of jobs and homes and swimming pools. It was the robbing of an identity and a fair chance.

And I want to challenge you, to call out those friends of yours around the braai who speak of “No chance for a white man in South Africa”.

And your mom when she says “look at all these Muslims”.

And every subtle but derisive thing that you hear your friends and family and tannie’s in the shop say.

Because if you truly want freedom and a place in this beautiful dusty place we call home, then best you deserve it.

Read the book. It is just gorgeous.

xxxx

�r��

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How I had a horrible week and tried to write a blog post

So in case you haven’t noticed, I haven’t blogged in weeks. Weeks. And of course that is just an unforgivable sin when it comes to blogging because people forget about you. Forget about me! How could you dear readers?

Vile creatures.

Anyway, I don’t like being told what to do, so of course I only started writing now - when I felt like it. Now; after a horrible few weeks of mean people, infectious disease, robbers and unmet expectations.

I like to rant and rave.

I have a therapist. She is kind and lovely and forgiving. I suggest all of you go and get one. She says that everyone is the hero of their own stories, and nobody will ever do exactly what you want them to do. This is very wise, and rather depressing if you think about it because you can never get angry with anyone once you acknowledge it.

If, for example, somebody cuts in front of you without indicating on the highway and then slams on the brakes, you have to know that they probably didn’t mean to be a bastard, but instead have somewhere to go. If someone breaks into your house and steals all of your furniture, they probably need to feed their families. Everyone is doing the best they can to survive on this planet.

And things are tough out here guys. Everyone wants to be successful and have lots of friends and have lots of meaning and money and be able to travel the world. We all want adventure and a family to love us and the ability to make Lavender Cheese Cake and sip fucking Dom Perignon.

But these things aren’t all possible. We have to make sacrifices and graft. Nobody gives us all of the support we need. We have to be our own biggest fans but we must also be humble. We have to embrace our bodies and our stretch marks and our cellulite but we also have to eat clean and wear crop tops and short shorts and look cute.

TECHNOLOGY IS A CURSE they say. Don’t look at facebook, look at your boyfriend. Establish deep connections. Have a good time. And while you are having a good time, don’t forget to post to Instagram. Get likes!

And by Gad it is sexy getting likes. I can totally understand how people live off it. It is like a tidal wave of affirmation. All those likes transport me back to when I was the not-cool kid in school who desperately wanted to be popular but always had the wrong shoes. (To this day, I am still behind with the shoe trends – can someone help me with this? I know it is Vans now, but I swear the moment I get a pair something else will be cool).

There is so much pressure. Even trying to live stress-free is stressful. I am always being told that I shouldn’t work so hard and that I should allow myself to rest. Rest is for the rich. I freelance and have five different jobs. I love this life and I chose it, but it means that I have to work a lot.

To level up.

To be successful.

To reach my goals.

Ding, ding, ding. It is like a giant video game, isn’t it? We work so hard and we try so hard. And we are constantly disappointed. Life is tough. Nothing is permanent and I have just transformed into a walking metaphor.

Hee hee. Thanks, I actually feel a lot better now.

What I think I am trying to say, is that you are doing okay.

Even if you feel like you are everywhere and nowhere. Even if everyone hates you and you are a hot mess[1].

You are here. And you have to keep going. So make a jol out of it. Do whatever you like. Scream if you must. But try to be kind and think of other people’s feelings.

And if you ever need some cheering up, just spend a night on the couch with your cousin eating popcorn, drinking pear cider and watching Tommy Wiseau’s MASTERPIECE – The Room.

Trust me, you won’t be disappointed.

Love to you all,

Me xxx

 [1] What does hot mess even mean? I always feel like a damp mess.

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How to be a good customer

I have worked extensively in both the retail and service industries, and have personally experienced all kinds of rude and crazy people. Here’s how not to be one of them:

1.    Acknowledge thine server

Waiters and cashiers are actually people, not machines. Please be present with us and actually listen when we ask how you are. Also, our only job is to make you feel good; so PLEASE CO-OPERATE. Do NOT float by someone at the door of a restaurant who is CLEARLY trying to help you find a table, seat yourself and then complain for fifty minutes that nobody came to help you. Also, if we say a table is reserved – chances are we ARE NOT LYING. We want to seat you at a table. The more people we serve, the more likely we are to go home with a reasonable amount of money.

2.    Respect opening and closing times

If a door is half open, tables are stacked on top of one another, people are counting money or dressed in plastic and scooping sauces - the place you want to eat or buy at is closed. Please do not be a twat and ask if we are open. And after that, if you really cannot believe that an institution can be so inconsiderate as to not be open when you need it to be, refrain from asking why the place is open or closed. People in the retail and service industry work extremely long hours and all you will achieve is general loathing and foaming at the mouth. You should rather nod your head gravely in awe of the mighty workforce before you. And go get breakfast from KFC.

3.    Be kind

Imagine you are stuck in a tiny dress amidst a horde of screaming infants, each requesting something from you. Some are tugging at your arm; some are frantically waving at you from across the room. Some are even *gasp* clicking for your attention. Then, while you are trying meticulously to attend to each infants needs,  their dad is shouting at you and demanding answers as to why you are taking so long to make each infant happy.

This, my sweet friends, is WAITRESSING.

If a restaurant or store is busy, please do not expect to be lavished upon as if you are a reincarnation of Mahatma Gandhi.

Servers are trying their utmost best to deliver unto you their best service. Of course, I am not advocating a world where servers are lazy and incompetent, but be reasonable. Don’t ask for beef instead of chicken and swap jalapenos for avocado and could you please make sure that the bread is just a husk of corn because I am deathly allergic to gluten and oh can I have a side of mango but make sure its dried mango oh and oh waitress sorry a single whiskey please with half a block of ice.

No.

4.    Also, tip  

If the service was foul, give ten percent. If the service was average, or you got your food on time, the waiter was friendly, you didn’t slice your hand on a pepper grinder and you had a good experience – tip 12%.

If your server had a wonderful sense of humour, gave brilliant suggestions, put in a little bit of effort to make you feel comfortable and at home – TIP THEM TWENTY PERCENT. If you are ten people and your bill comes to R1000, you each give R20 and Voila, the waiter is remunerated with little expense on your part. Include tipping in your entertainment budget.

Waiters in South Africa do not earn enough money per hour to survive. Minimum wage is R14,85, and most restaurants do not even pay that. From the tips waiters receive, they have to pay the bartenders and usually breakages and tip the runners. If you do not tip you will be remembered and you will probably get bad service the next time you come to the restaurant.

5.    Don’t use the service industry as a dating app

Your waitron is being kind to you because she needs to pay her rent and feed herself and pay for her ballroom dancing lessons.

She is smiling and friendly and she gently teases you because she wants your money. Also, she is doing her job. Please don’t put anyone in the awkward situation of having to give their number to you. Or ask them for coffee and be upset when they refuse. Don’t let the sting of rejection influence your tip. You put yourself in that situation darling.

A rule in general I think is to open your eyes and be considerate. Retail and service is hard and you have no idea what a small show of kindness will do for a person hard at work.

All the love

Sarah

xxx

PS the picture above is of me at the fanciest tearoom in the world. Angelina in Paris. Their hot chocolate is incredible and their toilet seats are made out pure gold.

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The Beautiful Paris

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All photos on this page are taken by the incredibly talented Andreas Georghiou. Including this one!

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How to be Happy (in 5 easy-to-follow steps)

I am not happy very often. I moan a lot and think that life is hard and that bad things are lurking behind bushes waiting to pounce on poor innocent me. Also, when I think about karma it frightens me because I have done some nasty things and I am rather afraid of the karmic repercussions. 

HOWEVER, when I AM happy, I am madly happy, and as I have gotten older and wrinklier I have realised that some things mixed together can actually create the elusive emotion. Here they are:

1. SLEEP

Do you remember when you were little and your Mom forced you to go to bed even though all your cousins were watching Mr Bean and you felt like you could never ever sleep in a million years and that life was unfair?

No? Perhaps that was just me. Anyway - the actual reason your lovely Mum put you to sleep early is because if you didn’t have ten hours of sleep, the next day you would awaken as a screaming and wailing bundle of chaos. Sound familiar?

Sleep is life’s great way of making us reborn every morning. So light a lavender candle, play some Buddha Bar and pet a cat - whatever tickles your pickle - but get some rest.

2. DON’T BE AFRAID TO BE SAD

This sounds like a contradiction right? But being happy all the time is just as unhealthy as being sad all the time. I spent a lot of my life bottling all kinds of things up inside and never allowing myself to feel pain. Then one day (in an acting class), I just broke down and cried for what must have been a hundred years. And after that I felt incredible! Like I could pick up Saturn and throw her to Pluto!

Sometimes we are afraid of the emotions we deem to be negative. But just like happiness; bitterness, fear, embarrassment and regret, all deserve to be felt even if it hurts us. Only when we accept our emotions as natural and human can we be free of them. 

So CRY darlings, or scream (but not at anyone - that’s not very nice).

3. EAT SOMETHING

It’s hard these days because everyone is always telling you what not to eat. No bread - it makes you fat, no sugar - it makes you hyperactive, no gluten - it gives you a million tiny bumps on your arms. Also, you should detox every week to cleanse your colon, and you should also drink all of the water from a thousand oceans - BUT be careful not to ingest the salt because salt gives you a high cholesterol and then you will probably die.

I have found that I become rather obnoxious and gloomy when I don’t eat. Some clever people have even made up a word for the phenomenon: HANGRY.

So don’t do it to yourself. Eat a delicious breakfast, munch up those carrot sticks drenched in hummus. DON’T GO HUNGRY. 

4. FIND SOMEONE TO LOVE

Love is a beautiful thing. Really it is. So find someone to give your love to. Your mum, a cat, a friend or a lover - and love the shit out of them (excuse my French). Life is too short to waste it on sulking and selfies. Make someone feel special, and you won’t be sad. 

5. LAUGH AT HOW RIDICULOUS THINGS ARE 

Sometimes it is hard to find the funny in a situation. I mean - I have been in some HORRIFYING dilemmas. But usually after I have cried and yelled and thought about how my life is a disaster; I try to find something to laugh about. And it never ever fails.

Be happy kids 

Love to you all

Sarah

xxx

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The picture the fabulous Monsieur drew of me! 

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A (poor) South African’s Guide to a holiday in Paris

Paris; the city of love and light and pastry - a few of my favourite things (for when I’m feeling sad) – naturally I wanted to visit. So I did, and it was wonderful; but there are some things I learnt that you may find useful; so here they are. In bullets for easy reading.

1.      Bring all the warm clothes in your cupboard

Since South Africa is a relatively sunny place, we ARE NOT used to the cold cold cold of Europe. This is not a winter’s day in Joburg people; so bring all of the warm things you own.

Some ideas:

a.      Ear muffs (the fluffier the better)

b.       Gloves (made from the hide of a mammoth)

c.       Long Johns

d.      Thermal panties

e.      Snow boots

f.        Tomy takkies (to place inside of the snow boots)

g.      Various scarves in a range of vibrant colours to display your affinity with the soul of Africa

h.      A face mask similar to the one worn by Sir Anthony Hopkins in The Silence of the Lambs

i.        Woolly socks

j.        A bear skin rug

k.       A belt to fasten the bear skin rug around your middle

l.        A long trench coat

Now of course you may be concerned about how strange you might look in the fashion capital of the world – adorned in bits of animal skin and bulging around the middle. But trust me darling readers – when you are standing at the top of the Eiffel Tower and you are all toasty and warm – you will send me a stream of gratitude.

Note: Do not wear this entire ensemble whilst going through customs; save it for the streets of Paris

2.      Purchase frozen food at the French grocery stores

Food in Paris is delicious but expensive, especially when you are dealing with the currency equivalent of a weak cup of earl grey. To save money, buy frozen food in the stores which is healthy and really yummy! You do however need a microwave for this step, or a stove. Do not be tempted to start a fire on the street – this will not work because Europe is a wet place.

 3.      Do not step on a rat

This unfortunate incident occurred mainly because Paris is so pretty that your head is constantly in a state of upward tilt. If you feel something warm and round underfoot; calmly step away and DO NOT LOOK DOWN. Also, try your best not to think of the Black Death and resist any urge you may have to lick the underside of your foot.

4.      Learn how to say “No thanks” as quickly as possible

Paris is full of people who want you to buy things from them. Here is an example of the dialogue one might have:

Sarah is sitting peacefully at a little cafe on the streets of Montmarte, a simple camera strung about her neck. A wine glass is in front of her and she sips upon it happily in her state of traveller’s bliss.

Enter French con Artist with a full beard on his face and money glistening in his eyes

FRENCH ARTIST: Bonjour mon petite Madame! Voulouz vous a picture drawn of you?

PLEASE EXCUSE MY FRENCH  

SARAH: Oooooo oui oui! She giggles girlishly

A string of French words erupt out of the Artist’s mouth as he begins to frantically draw his victim. The error begins to dawn on Sarah is she sips her wine faster and faster till she is glugging it down like one who has been presented with water after a stint in the Kalahari. “Oh no”, thinks Sarah, “What have I done? I cannot pay for this generic picture of a girl that this man is insisting is an incredible likeness of me”

At last, after five minutes, the Artist presents Sarah with herself.

FRENCH ARTIST: Tadaaa! Eeez feeefty euros yez?

SARAH: FIFT- BY GAD! I am a poor poor poor student! Have mercy on me, I have no money.

FRENCH ARTIST: Vaguely annoyed How mush you heeeve?

SARAH: TWENTY EUROS *cries into napkin*

FRENCH ARTIST: Geeeeev to meeeee!

Lesson: Sarah has learned that sweet talking French men may have ulterior motives and if someone you don’t know tells you how you have extreme beauty, they probably want your money.

Rather smile politely and say: “Non Merci”

Or, learn how to say no in 13 different ways by following this link: https://frenchtogether.com/no-in-french/

5.      Enjoy every minute of it

Paris is absolutely magical. Every person you meet is intriguing; every scent you inhale is wonderful. In autumn, the wet blackness of each tree contrasts perfectly with the bright yellow of its leaves.  

Its arrogance justified by the weight of its history, and the vitality of its people – and there is no doubt that you will fall in love with it. Just please don’t be proposed to atop the Eiffel Tower. 

Too cliché darling, you are better than that *winks*

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Why I love Johannesburg

Johannesburg is the world’s biggest man-made forest. When I first heard that, I immediately thought of how apt that is as a metaphor for the people that inhabit it. What was once isolated is now a melting pot of all cultures and creeds.

We do not live in a perfect city. I often hear of horrifying things happening here - of danger and death and poverty. But there are also lovely things.

Like eating a ripe mango in the middle of a long January day.

And starting up a conversation with a hawker hanging on your car in afternoon traffic; little bits of people’s lives briefly becoming entangled with your own.

Then there are dinners in Maboneng, and afternoon beers in Parkhurst. There are friends and family and lots and lots of laughing.

There is the vibrancy of the town; the impeccably dressed women parading down the streets; the rage that the cheeky taxi drivers incite in people.

The mix of the old and the new.

We are a happy people in general. Fraught with the burdens of the past and the constant hope for the future, but we go on.  

And I, well I love the sound of the rain in the night. And the camaraderie I find in the grocery store when the lady in front of me shouts and I smile with the cashier.

I love the swooping synchronicity of the flying ants in twilight and the purple bloom of Morning Glory. The hazy blue skyline from atop the old water tower.

I love the shape of the city from the M1 and the flickering lights in the still of the evening.

I love the passion of the students and the wisdom of the old.

I love Jozi. I love my City.

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Hello my name is Sarah that’s Sarah with an “H”!

Now you know my name. I am an Actress, which means I am also a:

1. Waitress

2. Casting Assistant

3. Drama Teacher

4. Avid Series On Repeat Watcher

I drink a copious amount of red wine, have an intense love for my bed and LOVE eating food. All food. Put it in my face. Okay thanks. Moving on swiftly.

This blog is going to give me a chance to share with you, dear reader some crazy experiences I have had in the short time I have been alive. I will also share some recipes and some poetry and anything else I find beautiful or disturbing in this world we call home. 

But now I must go and make some spaghetti...

Ciao for now  (I love you already)

Sarah