mysterymutual-blog

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studies show that I literally did not ask

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today i learnt that king tutankhamun made sure that he had a condom with him in his next life. i never want to hear a dude say he didn’t have the time to be prepared or didn’t remember to buy condoms. if king tut had the common decency of making sure someone put a condom in his resting place alongside one of the biggest treasures ever so he could practice safe sex in the afterlife no present day dude has an excuse for not wearing condoms.

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I just said “I am Moana from Motunui, you killed my father, prepare to die” and it actually took me a few seconds to realize that’s not right

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a young child: *tells me basic knowledge*

me: no way!!!!!!!! 00000000000:

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do u ever just see a girl…. and you’re like.:… wow…..i wouldn’t mind if she kissed me………

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“Alex they’re mushrooms” is the new “Harold they’re lesbians”

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what is like…. the Point

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when i check my activity on tumblr i feel like the ceo of a failing company 

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The Plan.

step 1: we buy a water bed

step 2: buy some tadpoles

step 3: we put th

step 4: frog bed.

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If I ever turned invisible the first thing I’d do is go to France and beat up a mime. Everyone would think he is the greatest performer to ever live.

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Reminder: you’re not always going to like decisions authors make with their characters and stories

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assert your dominance by calling your friends by their student ID number

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my brain: ur dumb/annoying/ugly

me: 

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i don’t think aliens exist

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pretty fucked up how christian beliefs are referred to as “stories” but indigenous beliefs are referred to as “mythology”

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*likes a mutuals post* mayb they will take that as a sign that i rlly want to b friens with them