mystical-mew

[mystical-mew]

Oh, sure, Rusty can use a Rubicon-made generator, and Freud can use parts made by fucking Balam, but the instant I consider a kinetic loadout, Snail loses his mind and grills me about "maintaining the image of Arquebus".

Asshole...

[mystical-mew]

MICHIGAN!!! MICHIGAN THEY'RE FORCEFEMMING THE VESPERS

Well, hey. That’s not bad news at all! Maybe if V.VII can learn how to be comfortable with herself, she can learn how to aim!

[mystical-mew]

how to get rid of a hickey

[mystical-mew]

@willdofornow2123 asked me to draw this

[mystical-mew]

i know its the mets, but this is the coolest shit i’ve ever seen a human being do

[mystical-mew]

[mystical-mew]

We need to hunt down & kill the inventor of “fuckbutter”

[mystical-mew]

WARNING:

my house doesnt suck & i will be IGNORING all constructive criticism BUT: today we're upgrading it anyway... at 8pm EST...

[mystical-mew]

i think it's fucked up that there are plants that decided they wanted to eat meat

[mystical-mew]

[mystical-mew]

all-timer

[mystical-mew]

Someone call them a Delamain...

[mystical-mew]

Beware of the pipeline

[mystical-mew]

Head of engineering: “Look I understand your concerns but I promise you even if Unit-19H was at an uncomfortable temperature we don’t have enough blankets!”

Pilot that hasn’t slept in 52 hours, between sobs while spreading three blankets on top of their mech: “But she’s cold!”

[mystical-mew]

A translation guide...

...for all those hotshot pilots who need to learn how to speak a conversational Mechtech in a hurry:

"Running diagnostics": taking a five-minute break.

"Checking that repairs settle": taking a ten-minute break.

"Sent the new guy to the quartermaster for the parts we need": taking a half-hour break.

"In five minutes": in ten minutes.

"In ten minutes": in half an hour.

"In half an hour": tomorrow.

"In an hour": actually, in forty-five minutes.

"Severe damage": functionally meaningless, they will say this about anything. Ignore it. It is small talk.

"Extensive damage": actually light damage but on the parts that are hard to work with, so try running a little cooler from now on.

"Moderate damage": sure, you nearly died, but shot-out cockpit glass is pretty easy to replace, stop being dramatic.

"Apprentice work": the most important parts of your 'mech are being left in the charge of the least experienced worker in the entire hangar.

"Armored up on vulnerable segments": an extra layer of tinfoil has been applied over your armor and fastened in place with hot glue.

"Extra armor stripped to save weight": your 'mech is now protected by about two sheets of corrugated metal plundered from a local hardware and landscaping store.

"Lunch break": a block of time that begins at the exact moment you return to the hangar with an engine on fire and one arm missing and ends just when they have to hand the job off to the night teams.

"Lighten up on the handling": treat this 'mech like a dainty lady of court who faints onto couches if slightly stressed and must not strain herself by strolling in the manor gardens too long.

"Push it all you like": if you bring this 'mech back in with all its limbs attached or the engine not exploded, they will assume you are denigrating the quality of their work.

"Get lunch some time at the mess": you have earned the Favor of the Mechtechs. Know you are blessed, and treat this gravely. Also, you are obliged to immediately counter-offer with getting command's permission to order in from a place in town. (Assuming it has not been blown up, the place or the town.)

[mystical-mew]

horny for mech pilots. horny for commanding officers. WHERE is the horny for r&d.