n0me32

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Had to get this one out of my system I guess.

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why you should keep writing your story

because it’s a puzzle no one else will ever arrange the same way as you.

because there are ideas that simply won’t come to you until you write down the wrong words.

because all the bad scenes are the bones of the wonderful scenes.

because someone will love it: someone will read it once, and twice, and thrice; someone will ramble to you about the complexity of it; someone will doodle your characters out of love; someone will find it in exactly what they were looking for with or without knowing it.

because they have things to say, your characters. they’ve told you all those secrets and they have more to tell you, if you will listen.

because you love it even when you don’t; even when it drives you mad or when it accidentally turns into apathy; even when you think you’re doing it all wrong; you love it, and it loves you back.

because you can get a treasure even from things that go wrong; because if a story crumbles down you can build a shinier one on the same spot; because you won’t know where it will take you until it takes you there.

[n0me32]

[n0me32]

Roberto, as a character, is quite underrated imo...

i hate this mf but it was a good challenge trying to edit him

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[n0me32]

Dieter's probably my favourite child sidekick in animanga

When you're on a dangerous mission and a stray orphan adopts you

Little bit of analytic rambling below (nothing too specific, but light spoilers)

Honestly, I thought I'd dislike Dieter when he was first introduced in Monster (I was surprised when I actually found myself happy that Tenma had failed to get Dieter to stay behind). I'm not a huge fan of children in anime in general - they're usually pretty one-note and forgettable (the adorable innocent kid or cookie-cutter bully) or unrealistic (genius child who understands all the subtleties and intricacies of situations and interactions, i.e. basically a pint-sized adult).

However, Dieter is a pretty realistic take on an actual human child (ground-breaking, I know). He has a personality that's not a carbon-copy of every other child shown in the series. He's headstrong and ignores the adults around him when it suits him. In dangerous situations, he usually insists on helping (despite the fact that he shouldn't because he could die), but sometimes he's scared enough to listen and run away or stay put as he's told.

When he does help, he doesn't suddenly pull extreme feats (be it due to far-fetched/unlikely skills or luck). He pulls injured people to safety (with great difficulty). Throws a rug on a fire. Walks a long distance to give a warning. All things that show his bravery, his willingness to help and his determination, but also all things a child could realistically do.

Plus — I love Dieter's resilience and positivity. The kid has a messed up past and every reason in the world to distrust adults and his caretakers, but he's fully willing to trust and love adults who show they're worthy of it. Not that he trusts them blindly; he doesn't hesitate to tell Tenma or Nina when he thinks something they're planning on doing is wrong. He sees the good in people first, and even when he sees the bad (like in Martin, the rooftop kid), he tries his best to help them see things positively too. He's quite empathetic: hard to rattle when it comes to himself, but quick to tear up when someone he cares for is in danger or sad.

Cute as hell to see him embrace and echo Tenma's words too — insisting that you can make your own happy memories if you don't have any, and that "tomorrow's gonna be a good day."

I'm glad this kid got his happy ending.

[n0me32]

[n0me32]

I think hell is something you carry around with you. Not somewhere you go.

Neil Gaiman (via quotemadness)

[n0me32]

“nobody but you”

Website

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[n0me32]

REVIEW | My Thoughts on Monster (anime)

MENTIONS: monster spoilers, deathnote spoilers

You know how after you finish a really good anime and there is this overwhelming feeling of loss but also satisfaction? That feeling that gnaws at you to keep researching and watch analysis videos of characters and plot? That's exactly how I feel about Monster. It is one of the most well-crafted, well-paced stories I've ever come across, and this is not just across the manga and anime medium, this is across all mediums; books, shows, movies that I've ever come across with. It's one of those stories that if I didn't make a blogpost about it to get my thoughts down, it'll linger in me for longer than considered healthy hahhaha. PLOT I can't even begin to describe just how amazing this plot is. Seemingly unrelated events and arcs slowly intersect with one another until the finale where everything becomes clear on how they relate to one another, what motivates each character and why certain events turned out they way they did. I'm pretty sure I finished MONSTER in five days and at points where the story introduces so many seemingly unrelated plots, I felt emotionally invested and curious to find out how they relate to the bigger picture. MONSTER is amazing in the way that it exceeded my expectations in how they relate and fit into the larger puzzle of the story. Cliffhangers after cliffhangers, so many moving parts, places and events, different timeskips into the past and future, it was laid out in a way that I, who tends to easily tends to get lost in complex plots, was able to, for the most part, keep up with every revelation in the story. That is true mastery, to tell a complex story that can be digested for the larger audience. Yes I admit I did look up some wikis and videos to confirm or search for a more detailed explanation of the plot at times, but I'm so surprised at how well the plot was able to tie loose threads together so perfectly in the end. But also to leave vagueness where it needs to be left to allow the audience to ponder on the larger themes and concepts covered: nihilism vs. love, identity and morality, genocides, brainwashing, humanity etc. How does a story balance resolution and irresolution so perfectly? I can't help but call MONSTER's mangaka Naoki Urasawa a true genius. Also the use of picture books as a story-device adds another layer of dread and horror. Picture books and children represents a sense of innocence so for that to be subverted and used as a way of brainwashing or manipulating children, as well as clues to later on unveil the author, was tastefully done. CHARACTER The feelings I have towards the characters....are inexplicable. There is growth and development for every character, even the ones that only exist for one arc, I couldn't help but empathise and feel sorry for them. Even someone like Eva, I honestly thought she was just gonna be some rich-spoilt nobody but then when Martin died, I couldn't help but hurt with her as she has shown that she now knows what is important to her yet the chance to be happy with Martin unfortunately slips away. The whole arc on Johan manipulating the child Milos and Grimmer finally being able to convince him not to suicide, mannnn the freaking feels. I don't really know how to describe this next point other than that even though the main characters are well-developed, the audience's emotional proximity to them is compromised because they are mainly used as a plot device. I guess in a sense, it could be considered a necessary sacrifice to craft a near-perfect plot.

The plot device that I am talking is that most of the main cast are used as partial foils to various aspects of Johan. Nina, that even though she underwent severe trauma and is considered the other half of Johan, she happily identifies with the name that is given to her by those who love her. She has hope that she will and deserves love while Johan processed his trauma through nihilism and a screwed sense of morality. Dr Tenma believes that all lives are created equal therefore tries his best to save anyone, no matter good or evil and thankfully sticks by that sense of morality until the end while Johan believes that death is the only equality that all humans face. I think because these characters are used plotwise as foils to Johan, it further amplifies his evil but also the tragedy of his character. Hence, I believe this is why out of everyone's favourite characters in Monster, MAL ratings show that Johan wins by a landslide compared to his 'good' counterparts. However, I can't help but wonder that is it due to his nature or nurture that he turned out the way he did even though his foils went through similar traumas? I think when talking about a great anime villain, of course it is inevitable that I end up comparing Light Yagami from Death Note with Johan. Johan, although commits much worse crimes in my opinion compared to Light (I literally felt at Episode 49 that I had lost all sympathy for his character when he catalysed orphans to suicide), by the end, I don't love him, but I feel so incredibly sorry for him. Light and Johan, are products of their environment that led them to a screwed sense of morality but the intent behind their actions are completely different. Light throughout his entire life is showered with praise for his intelligence, good looks by his loving family and friends but then fuelled by his boredom and grandiose sense of self, decides that he can play god. Johan throughout his life, continue to feel a sense of abandonment and lack of belonging and identity. As he is born of an experiment, he felt less than human, he was objectified by those around him. So when his mother and initially his twin sister (whom he considered to be his other half), in his eyes "abandoned" him, he internalises the belief that he needs to erase everyone that he has ever come in contact with and now that I think about it, he catalysed the children perhaps in his mind to bring equality to their fate and in a way, "end their suffering of being alive and abandoned". I guess in simpler terms, he is only repeating the cycles of trauma he experienced as a kid as E.g. one person with terrible parents continue to choose terrible partners. While Light craved attention born from his pride, Johan just wants everyone that he has ever involved with to die at the hands of their own evil and destruction. Basically he is saying "Ok you've abandon me? That's what you've chosen? Well then fine, I'll erase you in order to erase me if that's your wish".

In my opinion, Johan is a scarier villain but a much more tragic one at that, he has never known love and even when presented with love, he cannot process or express it. Anyone that shows him love, his foster parents, he doesn't know how to react to love therefore kills them, thinking that he's just protecting himself and his twin sister from another repetition of their mother abandoning him. His calm demeanour and expressions of emotions are completely void of any warmth, as he has never understood or internalised the warmth provided to him since the orphanage and the parental abandonment.

Light kills and feels the thrill of the kills, while Johan kills and feels nothing.

His screwed morality that he follows is simply what he believes to be the truth rather than something driven by anger or sorrow. Thinking about Johan makes me feel sad, this emotionless monster was born and created and has never known simple human emotions. This is why I guess out of all of the foils, Grimmer is the most interesting one. Even though both Grimmer and Johan survived their time at the orphanage, both in a sense, nameless,

Grimmer continues to hope that he will learn and internalise human emotions and in the end he did, he learnt what love is and therefore the sorrow that comes with losing his own child.

So therefore, once again, it brings me the question of nature and nurture, why does Johan use his expressions to become the monster yet Grimmer used his expressions to relate to those around him in hopes that he will regain his emotions? Grimmer died technically nameless but made such a huge positive impact on those around him... I don't know the answer to this but I guess the author probably intended it that way to make us wonder......

I must say, this is a very men-driven story, there isn't anything wrong with that, but I wished there were slightly more ....I don't know..... because Nina and Eva were pretty well developed.... but I don't know, something felt lacking in the women characters. SOUND I can't help but comment on the music first. It's so interesting, at first I felt like the music wasn't anything catchy or emotional but served the plot and scenes perfectly gave the desired effects well to support the emotions in a scene. But then as the episodes went on, the OP and the ED really grew on me. I must commend on Kuniaki Haishima, he managed to tie the main theme of the OP in every single bgm track, no matter what style. He manages to sneak it in as background cafe jazz music, in pivotal suspenseful scenes and as calm journey montage music. I think it was probably intended that there is so much choral aspects to the tracks, I think it's suggest biblical allusions as the anime covers so many biblical themes such as redemption and fate and identity. The orchestration of the tracks were absolutely incredible, I wonder if he had an entire orchestra at his disposal and many tracks were live-recorded? One thing I must say is that I wished that if he used live instruments and voices (or really good sample libraries), he should stick to live voices rather than use synthy vocal or string pads, it sounds a bit jarring as so much of the work displayed complex and intricately crafted orchestration so when I randomly heard midi voices, I felt like it didn't quite go with the rest of the instrumentation of some tracks. Although, I must take into account that this anime was created in the early 2000s so resources were more limited compared to now. Incredible voice-acting, I wonder if the voice actors experienced any psychological damage from how much they had to express anguish and pain in the characters. Man it's so dark, it must have taken an emotional toll on them I think, at least for me I think I would have suffered. ANIMATION Amazing angles and use of camera and framing throughout the entire anime. The realistic style suits the dark themes of the work, Even though there were so many time-skips, memories, fragments of memories, it was so clear visually distinguishable for the audience. One thing I'll say is that i think the dark colour palette, limited the physical traits of the minor characters. Sometimes I did find myself getting a few characters confused because their hairstyles and colours were so similar. Overall, incredible anime. Mannnn, I'm gonna have to watch a few chill anime after this one just to recover from the psychological damage that Monster has done to me.