narnie

[narnie]

A pre-hijacking fic of Peeta’s decision to stay after being captured by the Capitol, finding strength in his promise to Katniss.

Just when I thought to pull my hand back, Katniss squeezed it. “Stay with me,” she breathed out, her face and hand going slack as sleep pulls her under.

It should’ve been embarrassing how immediate my response was, let alone my actual response, but I couldn’t fault myself for speaking the truth.

“Always.”

TW: hospital angst, nothing overly graphic. There are canon-compliant references of the Games. Included are two Catching Fire scenes in Peeta's POV: when Peeta is revived by Finnick after the forcefield incident and the iconic Stay with me.

love is torture, makes me more sure (2103 words) by narnie Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Katniss Everdeen/Peeta Mellark Characters: Peeta Mellark, Katniss Everdeen, Finnick Odair, Mags (Hunger Games), Johanna Mason Additional Tags: Canon Compliant, During Canon, Alternate Canon, POV Peeta Mellark, hospital angst, Hijacked Peeta Mellark, but also pre-hijacked peeta, ouchie in more ways than one, catching fire scenes referenced

Summary: After Katniss releases the arrow that blows up the 75th Hunger Games arena, Peeta Mellark is captured by the Capitol. He fights to keep himself from becoming a piece in Snow's games. AKA Peeta’s decision to stay, finding strength in his promise to Katniss.   Cold, electric Capitol hands force my pulse back to life, but it’s Katniss’s entreaty and my promise to her that revive my heart. She’s alive, I know it.

The Game is still on.

[narnie]

L + ratio + you don’t understand the narrative significance of matthias’ arc and don’t see the reasons behind his tragic end, because one man isn’t enough to end a cycle of violence, because the hate-fueled machinery will keep functioning without you as younger generations kill you and take your place, because redemption is a process and not just a single act, and because actions have echoes, damn it.

[narnie]

"The boy beside her. The future before her. Anything was possible."

[narnie]

Brainrot

I love the “she fell first, he fell harder” trope, but when it comes to Kanej I really don’t know who fell first or harder because while Kaz’s inner turmoil speaks louder, Inej’s feelings are burning so hot and steady. She isn’t trying to suppress her emotions and doesn’t feel the need to examine them from every angle because she already knows her heart. She berates herself at times, for the foolishness of feeling anything for the Bastard of the Barrel, but she nevertheless accepts that this is what has happened. The only thing she doubts is whether he can love her back the way she deserves.

And Kaz is hyper-aware. Just as he recognised that Imogen was attracted to him he obviously senses that Inej is – and that she cares deeply. Much of his torment is centred around whether he should tell her about his own feelings and try to form a relationship, or simply let her go to find happiness and freedom elsewhere. His doubts about his own worthiness mirror hers, but there is never a moment where he seems to think that her feelings for him are merely loyalty or gratitude, or just a fleeting fancy.

They are fools in love and I am besotted.

[narnie]

First look of Jack Wolfe as WYLAN Shadow and Bone, Season 2

[narnie]

SHADOW AND BONE | S2 SNEAK PEEK

[narnie]

[narnie]

absolutely obsessed with how Kanej is a friends-to-lovers relationship where their broken pieces fit together and complement each other in a way that is nearly impossible to achieve with anyone else in their lives

We get several fun little tidbits of Kaz and Inej's pre-canon relationship sprinkled throughout the books, and it's honestly fascinating how Bardugo did the best she could to scream "they're best friends!" without outright saying so.

We know that Kaz gave Inej her first knife and personally trained her ("Kaz taught her to crack a safe, pick a pocket, wield a knife"). We know that Inej regularly spent time in Kaz's room doing everything from giving reports while watching him casually undress (lol) to lounging on his windowsill while he worked. We know they stole the DeKappel together. The literal second chapter of SoC mentions that they "spent weeks" playing Buzzfeed Unsolved about the Exchange murder case. And we get these delightful throwaway lines too:

In nearly two years of battling side by side with Kaz, of late-night scheming, impossible heists, clandestine errands, and harried meals of fried potatoes and hutspot gobbled down as they rushed from one place to another, this was the first time she had touched him skin to skin, without the barrier of gloves or coat or shirtsleeve. -Ch. 28, SoC

Kaz had rescued her from that hopelessness, and their lives had been a series of rescues ever since, a string of debts that they never tallied as they saved each other again and again. -Ch. 4, CK

But I’m here now, he thought wildly. He had carried her, fought beside her, spent whole nights next to her, both of them on their bellies, peering through a long glass, watching some warehouse or merch’s mansion. This was nothing like that. -Ch. 26, CK

Like...they're besties, y'all. Inej became the one constant in Kaz's life and she gets him on a level that no one else does. Meanwhile, Kaz manages to always see Inej even though she's crafted her entire persona on being invisible. Jesper may be Kaz's brother and Nina may be Inej's sister but Kaz and Inej are each other's best friend, and the bond of all those shared experiences are a big part why they fall in love with each other.

That bond also deeply informs how they interact with each other throughout the books. Kaz and Inej are in some ways custom-built for yearning and pining and loving from a distance because of their pasts and mutual trauma, and there aren't very many other people who could understand how that trauma affects them and what healing looks like. The reciprocity of that understanding and the allowances they give each other because of it is a genuine rarity that I don't think many people appreciate, especially in a relationship weighed down by that much mutual baggage.

Kaz can't touch skin and Inej often walks on metaphorical eggshells due to the fear of her skin being touched. And while their trauma comes from dramatically different places, they both react to it similarly: by becoming "untouchable," keeping most people at a distance, and laser-focusing on a personal goal. Even their PTSD manifests in similar ways: Kaz physically and psychologically feels like he's drowning when he's triggered, but Inej dissociates and retreats inside herself, drowning within her own mind.

But as traumatized as they both are, as angry and stubborn and mean as they can both be with each other, they're each other's safe harbor in a very lonely and dangerous world that dealt them both a shitty hand; relying on and trusting each other helped keep them afloat and alive. So they're willing to let each other go even if it kills them inside, because they have too much personal respect for each other and themselves to do anything different...but they're willing to fight for each other too, and that's what makes them click in a way that would be insanely difficult to accomplish with any other person.

Kaz and Inej don't really want to become more whole for each other, though that's part of it, but they absolutely want to become more whole because of each other. They want each other, physically and emotionally. They can't necessarily have each other at first because of their mutual trauma, but they're also both willing to a) fight for the chance to be together and b) give each other the space, time, and freedom to heal on their own terms, because they both fundamentally respect the other as a person and friend...which is the solid foundation that enables them to eventually come together and succeed as a couple.

Anyway nothing says "this ship is for yearning" like the boy who can't stand physical touch and the girl who escaped from sex slavery, both of whom are deeply traumatized by their pasts but see each other as bringing safety and magic into their world. We simply have no choice but to stan.

[narnie]

date night idea but it’s just me telling you all the subtle ways kaz and inej show their love for each other and never shutting up

[narnie]

when we get the I protect my investments scene and the say you’re sorry scene and the my Wraith would council mercy but thanks to you she’s not here to plead your case scene and the because I've been looking for an excuse to talk to you for two days/YOU, INEJ. YOU. scene and the stay in Ketterdam, stay with me scene and the I would come for you scene and the kanej bathroom scene™ and the THAT’S THE LAUGH scene on screen, and when we get fan edits of all these moments of Inej and Kaz with Paloma Faith’s “Only Love Can Hurt Like This” playing in the background,

WHAT👏🏼THEN👏🏼

[narnie]

no abba???????? I would like to report a robbery

[narnie]

@conchshell how dare you hide this in the tags

y’all already know I’m 100% onboard with TUA season three having ABBA, but hear me out on this:

“YMCA” playing in a fight scene or tua/sparrow academy showdown at least once with the spotlight on Five Hargreeves during the YOUNG MAN parts

[narnie]

A short snippet of Kaz and Nina talking about Inej in a modern Grishaverse AU

in which kanej is in an established relationship and Shania Twain exists.

“Like Shania Twain, moya tsaritsa herself, sang—“

“Oh, Saints,” Kaz grumbled.

“—If you wanna touch her, ask!” Nina finished. “Communication and consent is key, Kaz.”

Kaz nodded once in agreement. He felt one corner of his mouth tilting up. “How mad at you that key and my name do not start with letter C?”

“So mad!” Nina laughed. “Though I wouldn’t mind if communication and consent started with a K. That would be chaotic. Chaotic with a–” She cut off, noticing the furrow of Kaz’s brow that usually signified deep thought. Thoughts about Inej, probably. And who would Nina be if not nosy?

She smirked, intent on teasing her friend with a haircut so horrible she wonders how Inej could have fallen for him. “What are you thinking, Kaz with a C?”

“I’m thinking that Shania Twain also sang that she was not impressed with Brad Pitt, during his prime.” He turns to look at her, extending an open box of donuts that seemingly materialized out of thin air. “I’m thinking that you need to find another queen to quote, Nina dear.”

Nina pictured Brad Pitt and his abs, plucking a blue and white sprinkled donut that reminded her of Matthias. “You have a point.”

“I’m thinking that Shania Twain don’t impress me much.”

“Shut up, Kaz.”

[narnie]

Heyy!!!!!!

It's very important and I need to know please if you've watched Encanto. I am obsessed and if you haven't watched it, please do, and become obsessed too 💚

HELLO I FREAKING LOVE ENCANTO

a musical movie that showcases both poc generational trauma and the beautiful culture of the characters without exploiting it?

complex familial dynamics in which you have wounded me emotionally but I love you still and always? not feeling like I belong while still acknowledging the love that makes it worth to want to belong?

finding a way to reconcile because we choose to prioritize our love for each other over our pride?

sibling relationships that display the painful dichotomy of I envy you so I hate you but I love you and deep down crave something better for us and realizing that the envy and hate is caused by implications of generational trauma that has pitted us together and subsequently overcoming the roles we were forced to play by becoming our own person not defined solely by others’ expectations??

the older parental figure realizing her mistakes and actually apologizing for her behaviour and how that has impacted the family???

the main wholesome relationships which are not solely romantic and dominantly familial? the focus of said family relationships not being solely about the parent-child, recognizing other relationships that exist in the family???

great catchy songs dishing the tea about the family secrets except about Bruno because we don’t talk about Bruno, no, no, no–????

yes I have watched encanto

[narnie]

why is no one talking about how jack wolfe aka our wylan is starring in a movie called the magic flute

they really just plucked him from the book I’m not okay

[narnie]

I think one that thing that makes Five my favorite Hargreeve is that he isn't nice (far from it to be honest) but he's kind.

You see, nice is described as being "pleasing, agreeable, and delightful" Five is none of those things, nor does he pretend to be. But kindness, is described as "having, showing, or proceeding from benevolence". So to put it simply, nice makes you or others feel good, but kind is the act of doing good.

Five constantly shows us his true character through his actions rather than his words.

Loyalty to his siblings aside, notice that despite being an assasin, he only kills if he has to, and his kills are always quick. They don't leave the victim suffering for long periods of time. If anything, it's a rather merciful death, and I think that's also what distinguishes him from other commission agents as well. His every action is driven from survival, the other agents just see their jobs as a paycheck with benifits (Hazel and Cha Cha). He's a benevolent assasin who despite being secluded from humanity for 45 years, and multiple attempts by the comission to strip his humanity from him, is the most human person working there.

Now in terms of family, we all know that tiny old man would do anything for his siblings, but he never tells them this. Hell, he shows us that he loves them, but if you think about it, he never lets his siblings know the sacrifices he constantly makes for them.

He's the type that does things for people while being content to never let them know what he's done for them. People say he's an asshole, because honestly he is, BUT all of his actions are done out of love. Does that make everything he does right? No, but even so, he always does whatever he can to make things right. That in itself, is kindness.

[narnie]

it’s thinking about them hours

Kaz and Inej aren't exactly the light and dark trope but they are each other's light.

Like the time Kaz helped Inej out of the menagerie was the first sight of hope in her life after she'd been abducted and exploited. He is the light of her life.

When she's having troubled thoughts or feeling scared, she tries to imagine how Kaz would deal with a situation in order to calm herself:

She literally calls him miracle:

Meanwhile Inej helps Kaz believe in magic again. His only goals had been revenge against Rollins but when she appears, she gives him another reason to live for; not just revenge.

When he's feeling low as if he's fallen, he recalls the trick to falling that she'd once told him about. She teaches him to get up and try again:

He literally calls her the tether that keeps him from drowning in the waves:

Kaz and Inej may harbour some darkness in their souls but they are each other's light 🥺