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Emptiness

This drawing is a bit more… personal to me. Before anyone says anything, I'm doing much better now. But this is something I need to share.

You ever have those moments where you just don't feel like yourself? Not in a traditional sense, like feeling a little off. Those moments where you just grow numb to pretty much everything. When you start to feel hollow or empty, unmotivated, even to the point where you don't even want to do the things you know you enjoy. Your emotions, your vibrancy (Or colors, in this case), has slowly been drained away until you're nothing more than an outline on a black background, and even that part of you is fading.

Small things, as much as people like to believe that they aren't that bad on their own, can pile up if they happen in quick succession. Take the perspective of someone working in retail, for example. You interact with other people every day, try to help stock shelves, and make sure to keep change accurate. That's normal, right? Now, while you're working on something you're assigned to, add in the occasional customer throwing a fit and screaming like a banshee because something didn't ring up on sale, or a coupon wasn't working, and refuses to leave the counter after demanding to see a supervisor in the most condescending tone. Meanwhile, you can't get said help right away because the only other person on staff or who can help is busy elsewhere and needs to maintain integrity for what they're working on. Meanwhile, because of this, another part of the store you have to check in on regularly has folks lining up, and you can't get to them while you're still trying to address the person in front of you. Then, when help finally comes, you immediately get berated by one of the next few people because you 'took too long'. And then, you weren't able to finish the things you wanted to get done because the whole thing took most of the time you had set aside for it.

By the end of that sort of day, you're completely exhausted. You just want to get home, relax, and either just decompress, or forget the whole thing happened. But as you're leaving, a big thunderstorm starts. A family member comes to pick you up, and tells you that the power's been knocked out in the house, and won't be restored for a while. It's still humid, so now you have to deal with that. Then, when you wake up the next morning on you day off, thinking that everything will start to finally wind down… you find that wasps have built a nest in your bedroom window.

Everyone has their limits on how much they can take, and when someone hits it, one of two things happen. Either someone snaps, or what happens in my case: you just shut yourself off. You feel nothing. You're numb to everything around you. You're overstimulated. Your motivation slips. You begin to wonder if all you do is worth it anymore. And you just don't respond to anything… anyone… even when more bad news or any good news comes your way, or even things you enjoy normally. Folks who care for you ask if you're okay, but you can't put it into words other than “hollow”, or just “done with the day”.

So this time, I decided to try drawing how I picture the feeling would be like when given form. This is something I've debated doing for a long time, but often wondered if it might be too much. Usually, I'm one of the more upbeat souls in my family, so something dark or angry coming from me tends to be a bit of a shock. But this time, I really needed to get it out there.

And to be honest, I'm glad I did. I realized as I was drawing that it was helping me understand myself more, as well as have visual representation of something I can't describe easily in only a few words. And honestly, I might be inclined to do that for more times like that.

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Boomhill's Dao , but at the sea. 1/2

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Boomhill's Dao , but still at the sea. 2/2

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Davy... in Space!

For some reason, I had the urge to redraw an old piece from... nine years ago?! My brain is weird sometimes... XD I wanted to try some different effects than the ones I used the first time, as well as a different angle.

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Pool Day!

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Encounter in the Forest

Had an idea involving dialogue boxes floating around in my head for a while, so I decided to finally put it to paper... or pixels, in this case.

Still have some rough edges in my style to work out, since I'm not certain on detailing yet, but I realize I hadn't done anything full scale since the Player Select idea.

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Break *2025 edit

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Watemelon Mobi

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Crossroads

(Before anyone worries, I'm still doing fine right now. These are merely the thoughts I had as I was drawing this.)

Again and again I find myself at these crossroads. Deep down I want to be angry at the world, angry at the things going on around me. I see it almost regularly: good people being threatened, forced into bad situations, taken advantage of, and even injured or killed. The reasons are even more messed up: Because they look different, act different, have different beliefs and values, and for the mere act of existence outside of a set of 'norms' that can and will challenge someone's worldview. I want to understand why people act like this, why they would turn on their fellow human beings for the most trivial of reasons. As far as I was raised, many issues were never fully about picking A or B. We are far more complicated than we think, and so are most situations. But to many of us, it's much easier to point fingers, shift blame, and put down a person or set of people purely for being different. Nowadays, some people believe that the mere mention or show of empathy is a sign of weakness. But from my own experiences... it is a fail-safe.

Because I know the moment I throw away my empathy, I will have thrown away my humanity. If I start caring less for those around me, and seek only personal gain in return, I will become as hollow as a dead tree. And to be honest, I truly fear that day if it happens. My personality, my beliefs, and yes, my empathy and my humanity, all make me who I am today. I know there will be those out there that will tell me that I'm setting myself up to be walked all over. Being kind or empathetic doesn't mean I can't or won't set boundaries. In truth, I never want to. But the moment someone starts causing trouble for me and those around me, even I have my limits. To me, anyone who would take advantage of others for the sake of personal gain and with no regard to those around them simply show their true colors, outing themselves as a result. A simple mistake is one thing, but to do it continuously over and over again over a short period, emboldened because I think you deserve a second chance, only makes me believe you learned nothing and aren't interested in learning at all.

And every time I see it, Every time I experience it, I find myself at these crossroads again. Sometimes, I know which way to go, with no regrets or reservations. But there are moments where I arrive at these roads when I'm on the verge of giving up, when just I feel completely disconnected from everything, and when I just feel invisible to most people. Half of me sometimes wants to get revenge, to prove to all of those who told me I wouldn't make it in the world at different points in my life that I can and will find my own path. I know now that even if I do the things they told my I couldn't, they'll just move the goalpost again, completely waving me off. People hate for the sake of hating. For the sake of self-preservation either for their lifestyles or their pride and ego. And again, because it's easier to blame someone then to look into a mirror.

And so, I have to remind myself regularly to stay the course. I deserve to live my life as peacefully and happily as I can get it to be. There will always be hardships, of course, but it's no excuse to give in to hate. It's no excuse to ruin another person's life for your own happiness. My story will always be different from yours, as will the paths we take.

At the end of the day we all take our own paths through life, our meetings and farewells mere crossroads in the path we follow. Friends and family that support you will gladly walk this path alongside you, but sooner or later as life changes, some of them will break off of it. Whether it's because they can no longer follow it, or something forces them off of it. We are only seeing the cover and a few pages of a person's story, and if any of us were ever to take a deep dive into it like a real book, we may begin to understand what and why they were brought to this moment in their journey. Many people fear that, and just as many people want to understand and connect.

We all follow our own paths, and although we cross each other regularly, only you can dictate how the journey ends. That is why I try to remain on the right path, hard as it might be at times.

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Sydney

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Dance (2025 edit)

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Sometimes I think I'm trying to be a colorful person in a world that wants to be black and white.

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This trial is a bit strange... why is Nolan overseeing this trial and not taking part himself? Part 5 of Necklace Chronicles 3 is out now!

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Happy Holidays from Davy!

Davy offers you some Christmas gifts! Will you pick one to take home?

It's been a while since I did anything holiday related, so I decided to fix that! (In the nick of time, no less!) Next year's going to be rough, but I hope we can all make it through!

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Polgo (for Npartwork1011)

Lil gift art for NPArtwork1011! Dunno if they have a tumblr, but ye. :P 'S their critter, Polgo!

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HD Art: zngallery.carrd.co

Comms: zncommissions.carrd.co

Lore: https:/thestrangeandunusualexstellarverse.vercel.app/

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💦🦦🐟💥 @SteveFilters on Instagram

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pokemon i’ve done recently!