nattitopher

[nattitopher]

Ooh mom I’m famous its people saying I can never be a lesbian because I’m a genderfluid man. I mean wait does that mean I can never be gay because I’m a genderfluid woman? So does that… make me perma straight? But wait straight people like the opposite gender.. would that be non men liking non women? So… yeah since im a non man and a non woman i guess no matter what i do im straight

Someone’s mad they have to address their internal biases. Be more obvious everything you know about the lesbian community is from tumblr dot com instead of talking to real life lesbians, let alone a single older lesbian. The vast majority would look at you like you were ridiculous for saying they can be attracted to people who don’t identify as women (since semantics is clearly what matters to you). Cis men, NB men, genderfluid people who identify as men, and trans men cannot be Lesbians. I focused on men because there are nonbinary lesbians and genderfluid people who are not men are people who exist and are lesbians? Though I didn’t think I needed to spell that out to you. I get that your stance is “everyone should do what they want forever” but that’s actually more harmful than you realize. I understand your argument is that “we’re not responsible for other people’s bad faith interpretations” but at what point do you ask “is this being individualistic and selfish at the sake of a community with history? Or is my identity more important than everyone else?” Anyway saying lesbians can be attracted to people who don’t identify as women is old-fashioned lesbophobia and I hope you fix your heart.

This has been sitting in my inbox for a while but okay. I see you exclude all nonbinary people from lesbian attraction which is exorsexism so your opinion is immediately invalid.

[nattitopher]

Man i hate the online division between trans fems and trans mascs. Some of the popular posts about transandrophobia are posts that are just responding to the TME/TMA posts with reverse vitriol and it gets fucking nothing done.

The way this division just seems to accept the part of patriarchy that tries to say men and women are just soo different. And like… no, men and women are made up categories. Doesn’t make the effects not real. Doesn’t make structural misogny not real. But y’all can’t seem to talk about this structure without being like patriarchy means x. Like no… patriarchy isnt grounded in anything; its essentially a magical thinking set of rules that will do anything at all, even contradictory things, to self justify. Patriarchy is basically “man box make sperm” “woman box make egg”. And some of y’all are fighting to keep the shell of these boxes and include trans people into them instead of fucking smashing them. Men can be women, women can be men, trans men can be women, trans women can be men. None of this is real, we collectively made it up, and like maybe we can fucking move past it?

[nattitopher]

I feel like this has good intentions and comes from a genuine place. But it is still being far to essentialist for me. You are effectively essentializing transmen as being a distinct category from cis men in a way that cannot ever entirely be true. There are some trans men who have more access to the tools the patriarchy gives to men than some cis men. As a class it is 100% true; trans men are not a class that is hierarchically above trans women. Gender itself, however, exists as a performance. And while trans men have less access as a class to the performance of abusive masculinity, the very nature of masculinity as a performance ensures some access. And the people to whom this abusive masculinity are performed on are still victims of patriarchal violence.

Like a trans man who dates a trans woman and then starts to perform patriarchal masculinity to control her is different than a cis man doing the same thing. But if you say “the trans man never had access to that power structure” thats just not correct. To oversimplify, say the trans woman is unaware the man is trans. How, from her perspective, are the situations different?

Justifying this through the idea that “cis people don’t experience transphobia” just shows theres a lack of nuance to this post.

And i get it, i have been through transandrophobia and transmisogny and have been essentially told i cannot experience either. It can seem like the solution is to simply reverse the hate in such a way as to assert the opposite is true.

Most of the way I’ve framed this has been through a more binary lens of gender, because it puts into stark contrast the way things absolutely fall apart.

The thing i feel boils all this down is that some people do shitty things. And when people do shitty things they use what levers of power they have to do so. Anyone can try to patriarchial masulinity against anyone. Doesnt mean it doesnt statistically work more for some groups against other groups than others. And yes that does mean a cis woman can use it against a cis man. Gender is a performance. And just because it is performed wrong doesn’t mean the performance never happened.

"Men oppress women meaning trans men oppress trans women" trans men dont have the power within patriarchal society to oppress people on the basis of gender, trans men are different than cis men

"Omg are you saying trans men arent actually men?" No but if you believe trans people and cis people are 100% identical including in life experience and how theyre treated by society then youre either lying to yourself or youre just plain stupid.

I guess since you think trans and cis people are the exact same then we dont need any protection from transphobia because ig transphobia doesn't exist? Cis people dont experience it and since we're the exact same as cis people ig we're just treated the exact same, better call all the trans organizations and charities and resources and tell em "cis people dont need you so neither do we bc we're the exact same as cis people" y'all are fucking idiots tbh

[nattitopher]

Biggots be like: “Trans people are a civilization ending threat (negative)”

Liberals be like: “Trans people are a part of society and have always been here and deserve to be included”

Queer liberation be like: “Trans people are a civilization ending threat (positive)”

[nattitopher]

100% feel like Ragatha struggles with moral OCD.

And it makes me feel sad for her that she cannot have access to the kind of support that would help her recognize that.

But maybe over time the circus gang can support eachother enough and we get a happy ending 🥺

woke up like 40 mins ago at like 4:30 unable to fall back alseep so im once again thinking about ragatha and pomni as The Ocd Havers. its everything to me. oh whoops i ran out of tags on this post

[nattitopher]

I love you (platonic) you have an amazing gender that makes me happy

:0 thank uuu. I really like my gender too ^~^. Im kind of sad theres not too many queer elders who have experience being bigender, but I at least get to become that for the next :3.

[nattitopher]

Try it. Make friends with a cis man. Tell him he’s TME. Explain to him how he isn’t affected by it. Explain to him how transmisogny works. You can do it. You can make genuine points and actually help him understand. Oh but also you were a massive piece of shit because as it turns out she’s actually a closeted trans woman who had to socially detransition for safety and who cannot come out, even to you.

You’re completely missing the point and taking everyone who criticizes you rhetoric in bad faith. Because surely you can always categorize every person into either cis or trans right? (You can always tell :)) Surely experiences of transphobia only ever happen to trans people and is not in fact a systemic issue that colors the way everyone interacts with gender. I bet you think misogyny only affects women too.

The fucking point is that placing categories of people as being immune from a type of systemic discrimination is fucking pathetic and you should stop. Thats not how things work. Saying “trans men are TME” is fucking looser behavior. Stop trying to shove people in boxes.

And then you go on an ever more bad faith argument and say I’m advocating against letting minorities speak to their own experiences??? Like you pulled that out of your fucking ass to justify this shit. Everyone is affected by all systemic issues thats how it fucking works its a part of living in society. That doesn’t mean some aren’t more affected and deserve to be prioritized. My category of people were fucking wiped out of cultural consciousness and I’ve had to rebuild the concept of what it even means to have more than one gender largely by myself. “trans men are tme” denies my fucking existence as a trans woman and a trans man. People constantly speak over me and i have to fight to have my own voice recognized. But no im the one saying people should be spoken over.

TME itself is specifically problematic because of “exempt”. It is a term that is basically entirely used to create an out group. To say transmisogny cannot possibly affect “them”. And like… shut up? You cannot categorize entire groups of people like that. Things don’t fit into your little boxes like that.

Transmisogny is real. It affects some people more than others. But no one is exempt from it. White people aren’t “racism exempt” and that doesn’t mean “anti white racism is a systemic issue”, it means they are inside a racist system that has levers of power that can be used against anyone.

Grow up and talk to people about this shit

Friendly reminder to all the people using TMA/TME or any other false binary.

[nattitopher]

Also, you can still be a(n adoptive) parent to someone who is above 18. Just because you are both legal adults doesn’t mean your relationship cant be paternal

Dude this one customer was like MY SON HAS TO GET A JOB AND STOP MOOCHING OFF MY MONEY. And I was like “how old is he?” And she was like “17” and I was like. Holy shit you’re a freak! Lmao. Like teens can get jobs sure but he’s still a child you’re responsible for acting like he’s mooching off you when it’s YOUR responsibility to take care of him. What a fucking freak I hate capitalism lmao

[nattitopher]

Autiflexibility

A gender in which autism affects a person's ability to understand the experience of being or not being a particular gender, instead identifying as all genders to equal degrees (as appropriate within ones culture, lived experiences, etc.). Presentation, pronouns, and gendered terminology are flexible to the situation and independent of one's current identification (E.g., an autiflexible person may be a man in any and all work contexts because this is easiest for them; that does not mean they are not also a woman). Autiflexible people may choose to (or not to) medically or socially transition in a variety of ways, and is not exclusive to anything except being autistic and flexible with gender and pronouns. The implication of autiflexible is that all pronouns are fair game, though preferences may still happen.

definition written and approved by an autiflexible person OP (unknownmothergoose) is NOT autiflexible, only posting for reach

neither coiner or OP are currently aware of this term existing. this term may be reposted to wikias and directories if the definition and flag are left unedited, and the wikia is not owned by Fandom, and the repost is sourced back to this original tumblr post you are currently reading.

[left ID: a five stripe flag with even stripe in a low saturation dark pink, light pink, off white, teal, and navy. a grey autistic infinity is also in the center of the flag, overlapping some of the stripes]

[left ID: a five stripe flag with even stripe in a low saturation dark pink, light pink, off white, teal, and navy.]

[nattitopher]

[nattitopher]

Deep down when I look at my gender, all I can see is autism….

Real talk I think my core gender is autigender. And that I put on boygender or girlgender for funsies. And its no fun to only be allowed to put on one :(… i also need to find out how to put more gender costumes on. Maybe andro, maybe boygirl, maybe none gender left beef. I mostly just mirror gender so like its harder to find genders to mirror that arent boy or girl gender.

[nattitopher]

So far the closest thing to a counter argument I’ve gotten is this;

“TME people can just assert they’re not a trans woman/fem to get out of transmisogny, thats why some people are exempt”

Yeah thats not how thats how that works. Tell me, how will they prove it? Do they whip out their genitals? (Which, like with the general cultural awareness of “the surgery” how does that help?) How is this not just “we can always tell” but woke this time?

Tell me again what happened when JKR was presented with proof Imane Khelif was cis?

Friendly reminder to all the people using TMA/TME or any other false binary.

[nattitopher]

great job creating new useless binaries and being ragingly intersexist by using TMA/TME

you are not a trans ally nor an intersex ally if you divide us into more binaries we do not need.

Uh? My only viral post is bitching that TME/TMA is a useless binary? So im not sure where this is comming from?

[nattitopher]

you are mutuals with some serious transmisogynists. like I want to believe you are TMA but then you are buddy buddy with creeps like if you are then why expose other transfems to that shit. maybe the problem you have with other transfems is the way you treat them not the other way around.

Im not a public figure (my posts get maybe 5 likes on average). Nothing I’ve posted is inherently transmisogynistic. The person I’m assuming you’re vaguely referring to as a bad person I’ve just now found receipts (people have gestured to me at them being bad but no one ever has shown reciepts). But them being a bad person doesnt instantly mean everything they ever said is hateful; shitty people can say the right things. But I am taking the receipts seriously.

And like, seriously? “I want to believe you are TMA”. Thats insanely transphobic. I don’t know you. And what you believe about my identity doesn’t matter. We don’t need fellow queers or allies to fucking gatekeep shit like that. I am a trans woman, i am a trans man. I am because I say I am, end of fucking story. You dont deserve to know my history or my genitals or anything like that. And on top of that I already stated clearly that TME/TMA is a hateful false binary, so the fact you *still* tried to apply it to me shows you need help.

Try logging off and organizing with queers irl, instead of harassing some stranger in the internet. And if you are going to call out people (and call strangers bad by association) give receipts and fucking say the persons name.

[nattitopher]

is there still somewhere we can donate?

:0 to me? Im mostly stable now ish though i still got credit card debt and friend debt

But if you asking i do has uhh

$nattinekomaid

And i think thats ven too

Uh also im selling this on my kofi and u can donate there

[nattitopher]

hey just wanted to say I love your posts and I think you’re really cool!!! Also every time I think of bigenderism I get really happy that it exists. Will unpack some day. Stay chill and stay safe

:0 thanks ^<^. Being bigender is pretty cool ngl 😎(said like a drug dealer tryna sell u more genders)

[nattitopher]

BREAKING NEWS

TME/TMA ADVOCATE CONFUSED, TRIES TO ACCUSE LOCAL TRANS WOMAN OF BEING EXEMPT FROM TRANS MISOGYNY

Victim is also a trans man, and was assigned androgynous at birth. We have a quote from him right now

“Boxes is dumb :3 (knocks ur boxes over)”