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[naturallyteal]

Welcome to No Nut Kinkvember 2025.

You see these prompts? No Nut Kinkvember is about turning these prompts into a sex thing. How you turn them into a sex thing is entirely up to you, along with what kind of sex thing you turn them into, and creativity is encouraged.

Where and when will No Nut Kinkvember be hosted?

No Nut Kinkvember will be hosted on Tumblr and AO3 during the month of November. There will be an AO3 collection to add your works to, created a month before the event in October, and if you @ this blog in posts they will be reblogged. There will also be a submissions box open that you can submit posts to.

The Tumblr tag for this event will be #nonutkinkvember2025, which I will also be looking at for posts to reblog, so make sure to tag your works!

What are the rules?

THIS EVENT IS FOR ADULTS ONLY. MINORS ARE NOT ALLOWED TO PARTICIPATE.

This event is writing only, because I find that easier to moderate. That being said, if you want to draw out prompts on your own and share them in your own spaces, feel free! The tag will also allow art. I just won't host it on the Tumblr blog.

Any and all kinks are allowed. Just make sure to tag all kinks present in the work, and add warnings as applicable in a typical AO3 submission.

Do not harass people for their submitted work, for any reason. Yes, this includes for their kinks.

This is a universal fandom event! Anyone of any fandom can join. OCs are welcome too!

If you want to submit a fully original work, I'd recommend either posting it to a different site than AO3 and linking it in a Tumblr post, or just submitting the link through the submissions box of this blog. If you share your work in a Tumblr post, or use the submission feature, you still need to tag your content with all kinks present in the work, and any warnings as applicable.

If your writing is self-contained in a Tumblr post, as opposed to linking from somewhere else, please add a read more at most after an introductory paragraph or two.

Submission entry will start on November 1st and will close on November 30.

More rules will be added if/when the need for more rules arises. If more rules are added, I will edit this post and make a new post detailing the new full list of rules and specifying any additions.

Again, I'll be checking the #nonutkinkvember2025 tag too, and I'm excited to see what everyone does for this event! :]

The ask box will always be open, so don't be afraid to drop by in the meantime!

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No nightingales.

Portrait of Crowley in charcoal.

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That which Crawls,

by @cassiecasyl

Rated T, 1334 words

Status: Complete Work

Summary

The tale of how a demon sheds his old name, defying the purpose given by Adam, to become his true self.

Why we love it

Cas’s writing is absolutely wonderful. It’s breathtaking and poetic, full of powerful imagery. The characterisation of both Crowley and Aziraphale is incredible, especially with such scarce dialogues between them. It only takes a few words to feel the demon’s suffering, and the quiet reassurance the angel brings him. Even when Cas writes a scene we already know, they manage to bring something new to it… the breath mingling, oh my lord, this is such a touch. You’ll know when you read it, trust me. Cas’s passion for language shows, as often, and never ceases to amaze me! Do yourself a favour, and go have your heart broken in barely 1000 words.

Tags: Canon, Through the ages, Angst, Rated T, One-Shot

Review by @captainblou

Read on AO3

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Somewhere Between the Pages,

By @eybefioro and @itsscottiesstark

Rated T, 26 795 words

Status: Complete Work

Summary

Crowley and Aziraphale were childhood best friends, bonding over their love of the book Accurate Prophecies. They might have become something more than friends, but life cruelly separated them. Now, years later, they accidentally bump into one another as adults, each hoping to get their treasured books signed at a fan convention by the eccentric author, Agnes Nutter. Meeting again reignites long buried feelings in them both... A touching story about lost loves and how, miraculously, they can sometimes be found again.

Why we love it

This story has such a special place in my heart. Not only does it capture that joy of developing a deep connection with another person, it also fondly depicts the love that runs throughout fandom and how it brings people together. The fic travels effortlessly back and forth from the present to the past, building a wonderful sense of tentative young love growing into something stronger. It's also got some fabulously funny parts (I adore Agnes and her lack of filter!) and the writers do an amazing job at weaving in references. It's such a hopeful, sweet, and affirming story to read - very much one of my favourites.

Tags: Alternative Universe, Human AU, Wholesome, Childhood Friends, Rated T, Complete Work, One-Shot

Review by: @angie-words

Read on AO3

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Reunited,

By @curiouspupsicle

Rated T, 2309 words.

Status: Complete Work

Summary

In which CuriousPupsicle decides to toss off a quick bit o'fluff but keeps getting interrupted by an angel on one shoulder and a demon on the other. Apparently the two have "things to say." But c'mon. We know they couldn't possibly write a story any better, amirite?

Why we love it

A fourth wall demolition is not something we usually encounter in fanfiction. CuriousPupsicle does it masterfully, seamlessly weaving storytelling with hilarious objections from our main characters, effectively telling two stories in one. A fix-it within a fixed story, where Aziraphale and Crowley are already together, fussily and grumpily (I'll let you guess which is which) "contributing" in the narration. Hilarious, adorable and achingly romantic.

Tags: Fix-it, 4th wall, Fluff, Humour, Flirting, Rated T, Complete Work, One-Shot

Review by @itsscottiesstark

Read on AO3

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New podfic alert! Among the Stacks

Welcome to the first of my new longpods this week! Come along and enjoy Among the Stacks with me - written by @rhosmeinir.

Nearly a year after Aziraphale returns to Heaven, he vanishes from existence, leaving Crowley bereft on Earth. Just when the demon has finally started to heal and move on with his life, he finds his angel by chance in a library. But Aziraphale has no memory of his life as an angel, or of Crowley. How will our hero cope?

I believe this one was also rec'ed by one of you lot, so, thanks! I enjoyed making it a lot (and am, in fact, still editing my way through - it's all recorded, and I am a month ahead for edting, so it'll all be fiiine)! New chapters are coming up every Tuesday and Friday, finishing in time for Christmas (did I mention it's a long one?!)

Find chapter 1 here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/70136456

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How about a little Sunday treat?

I wanted to get back into poetry, and I'm off, with Ode by Arthur O'Shaughnessy⁠.

There's a whole bunch of Good Omens poetry coming up soon, too!

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@sassysnakedemon I did a few hours before, here is mine:

Great minds thinking alike…

Please take good care of them!

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@books-and-omens thank you those sound intriguing!

Spooky!

Halloween is looming gloomily ahead, and spooky fics willl be in season sooner than you expect!

Shivering with anticipation, I’ve put together a little rec list of my favourite spooky Good Omens fanfictions.

Please, before you enter into the works on AO3, read and MIND THE TAGS!!!

Lets start with two spooky, hilarious, and vey NSFW Choose Your Own Adventure stories, multi-author collaborations that produced text based-game-like entertainment that provides fun for several days:

Give Me Jizz or Give Me Death - A Choose Your Own Jizz (CYOJ) Adventure

Aziraphale and Crowley's Spooktacular Adventure

(tagging @doonarose as representative of all those multi-authors 👋)

THE spooky fandom classic imho, if you haven’t read it yet I you probably have your reasons; it’s also the main reference for “Give Me Jizz” above!

Someone is Calling Him Shorewards by harlotofgod

(if anyone knows their tumblr handle please tell me, couldn’t find it)

A hauntingly (🤭) beautiful ghost story:

in the house we remain by @commodorecliche

A Poe-like, mind boggling nightmare (/positive) of a story that comes in two versions:

Aziraphale's Little House of Horrors (NSFW) and

Aziraphale's Little House of Horrors (SFW) by @sixbynine-da

If you want to reblog this adding your own spooky fic rec, do it!

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Approving related works on AO3

Have you ever seen those automated “Works inspired by this one” notes at the bottom of a fic on AO3, and wondered how to get those working? A few folks have asked me how to list covers I make for them like that, and I realised that some people might be missing info on how this feature works.

When I make my fanfic covers, I mark them as “inspired” works in the AO3 upload interface. But recently, it’s come to my attention that not everyone knows that you have to approve these inspired works to get them to show up. The same goes for translations, btw.

Normally, when someone posts a work and marks it as a translation, or inspired by something you’ve written, you should receive an email. However, sometimes these emails don’t come through, and sometimes I think people just skim them and don’t notice that they have to manually approve the works.

So, to approve the work(s), go to your AO3 dash and scroll to the bottom of the navigation menu, to the option that says “Related Works”. At the top, you should see any pending related works that other folks have created for you. Simply click the button to approve them, and the links between them will be automatically generated.

If you ever feel the need to revoke these links (you feel they no longer suit the story, you had a falling out with the creator, whatever), you can just go back to that page and click the “Remove” button and the links back and forth will disappear.

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How lovely to wake up to this….

🤍♥️🖤

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"Something Smells... Evil" (or, Is Sandalphon a Murder Hornet?)

[From the Moments That Matter series]

In good storytelling, even broadly unusual characters or comic relief figures need to "fit" -- or they just don't make sense in the story. (Looking at YOU, Jar-Jar Binx!) Some underpinning reason needs to exist. So far, Sandalphon's entire image is just heaven's thug. Maybe a bodyguard? He's a seriously bad angel. Why does he exist as one of the top 4 archangels? Just to be the destroyer, so the rest keep blood off their hands? Sure, but they could also outsource that to hell. Done it before. (Job, lovely man.)

We haven't been given a solid reason for Sandalphon yet. There's more story to this story.

We learn a lot about Sandalphon when he shows up with Gabriel. (Not just that he knows something about human pornography...!). The offhand little exchange in the gif above is intriguing... Sandalphon sniffs out a scent of evil in Aziraphale's bookshop. The Supreme Archangel Gabriel, walking around in the same back room, doesn't smell it. He didn't have a clue.

Sandalphon, why can you smell the lingering scent of Evil? Is something rotten in the state of heaven...? Do you possibly have, um, an affinity for noticing evil...? Are you reeeeeally actualllllly an angel?

Nah.

Each angel has their flaws, and several have some pretty dark moments. But Sandalphon has the longest known list of nastiness. Smiter at Gomorrah. Skilled at turning people into salt pillars. Beats up other angels (or, at least our favorite one!). Quick witted at direct mockery... ("Ford every stream!")

And... a sniffer of Evil???

Contrast Sandalphon, if you will, with Aziraphale (intriguing, actually, like we're meant to notice how similarly their overcoats and outfits echo each other, as in the gif scene above! There's a "Good Guy-Bad Guy costume essay waiting to be written by someone! If it already exists, please let me know!)

Anyway... Aziraphale can sense when other angels arrive on Whickber Street. Angel senses angel. Aziraphale, our beloved-and-loving angelic cinnamon roll, also feels Love itself, or at least can detect when a place is loved.

Azi can sense the love that Former Sister Mary Loquacious has for the former convent and its grounds, and the new life she's built there. Aziraphale also knows that the Hogback Woods in Tadfield are loved. He can feel it all around them.

Crowley can't. We love him, but he is, after all, a demon, and just doesn't get what Aziraphale's talking about. (I have no doubt he FEELS Azi's love -- Crowley just can't sniff out love in general.)

However, Crowley does sense Evil. He can tell whenever Shax shows up -- demon knows demon. He also sensed the change when the Hellhound found Adam, sniffed it like a scent in the air. ("I know what you smell like!") But Aziraphale had no idea -- couldn't smell it.

Let me say that again -- Crowley, who is technically a demon, sniffed the air, smelling the Evil. And the angel in the room with him was clueless, didn't smell a thing...! (Not a bloodhound for the scent of evil. Only for Love. Hmm.)

Sounds awfully similar to Sandalphon, sniffing evil while Gabe is clueless. It activated my own theory-sniffer. So, I started pondering -- about demons and angels and sensing love and sniffing out evil. And especially about Sandalphon, the evil-sniffing angel.

I think at least one murder hornet has infiltrated the heavenly hive.

I've got a lot to say about Sandaphon to back this up.

First, let's talk a little more about the sensing-Love/sniffing-Evil thing. I think we've been given some Clues that help us sort out this angelic thug.

The other angels can't feel love around them like Azi does. (Maybe Muriel will, as they spend more time on Earth -- Cinnamon Roll Powers Activate!) The angels don't even understand the concept of love. We see this when Azi easily misleads Michael and Uriel about the 25 Lazurii miracle, and again when Azi is trying to explain that Job and Sitis' children are NOT replacable commodities.

Even our sweet, isolated Muriel listed the children as just another item on the checklist of Job's posessions. Like geese.

Now, Crowley understands Love. He has loved Aziraphale with a deep, steady, faithful love across centuries, has a keenly protective love for children -- strong enough to defy hell over ("And I'm Jemima, I made this pot!") -- and is secretly a hopeless romantic. Our demon understands love. Yet he still can't sense it in the environment like Azi does. He has other special powers.

Sensing Love seems to be Aziraphale's own unique ability.

We also saw, back in Uz, how all those angels couldn't sense or detect that Bildad was not, actually, a Shuhite. Nor a cobbler. And certainly not an obstetrician. There was a demon pulling shenanigans in their midst and they didn't even know it.

But Aziraphale, at least, can sense the presence/arrival of angels. And Crowley knew when Shax showed up looking for Gabriel.

Like-senses-like. Angel senses angel, demon senses demon.

Based on all this, it seems there are two conditions for a Being to detect Love or Evil:

The Being must be on the matching "side" of that quality. Demons can't detect Love, Angels can't detect Evil. It's why Crowley can't sense Love, despite feeling it.

The Being must understand the concept. It's why the other angels can't sense Love either. Sadly, they don't understand it.

So, back to Sandalphon, evil-sniffer... Here's why I think he's a murder hornet, a demon-in-disguise:

It just doesn't make sense that Sandalphon would be the only exceptoin to the pattern, the only angel that can sniff out Evil. (Is he an angelic bloodhound?)

He understands evil awfully well, though -- too well for an angel.

Sandalphon knows a lot more about humans, their habits and their (sinful) material objects, than any other angel or archangel in heaven. Sandalphon not only knows what "books" actually are, he understands what "pornography" is, and the human feelings of Shame and Secrecy that commonly accompanied the public purchase of said materials.

That understanding would give a demon a real advantage in devising temptations...!

Reminds me of Hastur's and Ligur's Deeds of the Day, and their insights into how tempt good people into ruin.

Sandalphon does seem to particularly like smiting. Looked rather pleased with himself about the whole thing, actually. Enjoys having that whole pillar of salt thing on his angelic resume.

Kinda' like a list of... D E E D S.

Yeah, I don't think he's an angel at all. He detects Evil because he knows and understands evil. He's on the matching side.

And that's a really big problem for heaven.

At the hellfire punishment, Sandalphon has a delayed response when not-Aziraphale shoots a stream of hellfire at them from his mouth. Uriel's face and posture show obvious fear, and Gabriel is leaping back while protectively reaching to shield his archangels. But Sandalphon barely reacts at all in that first moment. He backs up ONLY after the others dramatically respond. And he doesn't look afraid or worried. He looks angry, ready to fight, body turned sideways as if poised to move foreward, not backwards.

I suspect it took Sandalphon an extra second to remember that he's supposed to be afraid of hellfire. "Oops, almost forgot to duck...!"

Sandalphon is a toady and a sycophant (gee, is my dislike showing again?) who flatters and cajoles the Supreme Archangel. Brings out the worst in him. Like a seduction, luring him in. A temptation. Gabriel's personality and priorities improve quite a lot once he's away from Sandalphon and in the company of Beez (S2 flashbacks). Beez actually cares about Gabe.

I suspect that Sandalphon is there to corrupt Gabriel, as well as Michael and Uriel, and to encourage their worst faults. Pettiness, close-mindedness, and an acceptance of "righteous" violence. Doing so would impact not only the angelic hierarchy, but the entire system of heaven. A massive trickle-down of yuck.

And when the most violent actions occur, Sandalphon is there.

He's dressed like a mafioso movie-style thug, the obligatory hit man. Sandalphon is the one that actually punches Aziraphale in the confrontation on Whickber Street. He's side-by-side with Uriel for not-Aziraphale's violent kidnapping, and he's at Gabriel's side for the hellfire punishment.

Literally on Gabriel's right side, the side that is Biblically designated as the privileged side, the trusted advisor, the got-my-back side. It's the Second-In-Command station. It's where the phrase "right-hand man" comes from. If Michael is absent from the scene, Sandalphon is there, smugly standing at the Supreme Archangel's right hand as his Second. Encouraging the worst in him.

And, for a disguised demon, wouldn't it be a jolly fun mockery to manipulate the Supreme Archangel into this fiasco:

Look Look Look!!! Look at Sandalphon as Gabriel turns back to Azi. That's an interesting grin Sandalphon has there, while no one is looking at him (except us!). Would any other angel, even if they had an idea what pornography actually is, think that Gabriel shouting about it is funny? Would they understand the irony?

Hmmmm.... But a demon would. A demon would laugh himself silly.

He'd find this pretty funny too. (One of these things is not like the others...) Michael, Gabriel, Uriel... and Sandalphon? They move in a group, like the 4 traditional Christian archangels. (Or like the Beatles on Abbey Road! I feel like there's a Sister Act joke hidden here too.) But in Christian tradition, the 4th archangel in the group is "Raphael" (leading to the multitudes of theories about Crowley/Starmaker, or Azir-raphae-el himself, as his name was originally pronounced!).

There is also some GO fandom speculation about the Metatron, wondering if he somehow displaced God, kicked them out, locked them up, or maybe that the Metatron isn't even an angel at all. Interestingly, a quick Google search shows that, in various belief systems and in writings about angels and occult topics, Sandalphon and (the) Metatron are often identified as the only angels who were formerly human (the prophets Enoch and Elijah), and they are sometimes identified as twins or brothers, with Metatron as the eldest and more powerful.

If the Metatron is also in on this demon-in-disguise scheme (and I wholeheartedly suspect he is!), I'm guessing that Sandalphon is his accomplice, not the ringleader or an equal partner. I don't think Sandalphon's been set up in the GO story as having that kind of power. Plus, they signed on 🌟Derek Jacobi🌟 who is fantastic, a classic actor perfectly placed as the ultimate evil archvillian, pulling the strings and planting his spies...!!!

It looks like Sandalphon will be back to cause more trouble in the Finale -- as of this writing, IMDb lists actor Paul Chahidi for the 3.1 episode. I'm excited to see how this all plays out!

*****

Thanks for exploring these intriguing and wild ideas with me! For more "Moments That Matter" theories, you can check out these links:

The Secret Smile Moment (At the elevator, Azi to Crowley!)

Crowley on Patrol (They Weren't Entirely Caught Off-guard)

"They're Not Talking..." (But are they communicating?)

Plus:

Fearful Memories (Aziraphale KNOWS)

An Unexpected Encounter (2 Angels & a Demon in the Park)

The Circle Kiss Theory (The Final 15)

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Sandalphon and the banality of evil

Today I read this interesting post by @wistfulnightingale about Sandalphon, and at first I started writing a comment, then a reblog, and finally this turned into the starting point for a much broader reflection on the nature of Heaven itself - a true totalitarian regime.

✍️I apologize in advance if what I write has already been addressed elsewhere in the fandom, but I haven’t read anything on the subject, aside from generic references.

Sandalphon is the punishing angel of Sodom and Gomorrah, and he's happy to be so. After Uriel mentions Aziraphale’s “boyfriend in the dark glasses”, he acts as the enforcer. He shows open contempt for Aziraphale and mocks him - the angel “gayer than a treeful of monkeys on nitrous oxide”.

Sandalphon seems to harbor a kind of deep hatred - and therefore a specialization, almost a ‘radar’ - for sins with a sexual dimension, at least those the Bible conceives as such: essentially lust and the wasting of seed, whether in its all-encompassing form whose antechamber is pornography (which we humans have to buy secretly and about which we are extremely easily embarrassed), or in the form of sodomy.

Sandalphon can smell evil - but not because he's actually a demon, but because, for him, that is what evil is.

In the room where Aziraphale receives him and Gabriel, we also saw Crowley. So, Sandalphon smells evil, and then glares at Az: maybe he perceives the scent of a different cologne, but I believe what he actually perceives is the sexual tension between the Ineffable Husbands (two men = wrong and evil, to him), as if it were a trail or a haze - just like the love Aziraphale feels in the woods at Tadfield.

I don’t think the storyline would deviate too much from the Bible and the known angelic hierarchies. Much as I appreciated @wistfulnightingale’s insights on everything else in the post, I truly don’t believe Sandalphon is a demon, in GO. His rank is high, because it is so in all traditions, as he's associated with Metatron, his (human) brother before being elevated to the angelic rank, and I strongly agree with @wistfulnightingale Sandalphon will be his accomplice.

But which is his role? Gabriel hints that there are departments (“not my department”): Aziraphale is a protector, with love and intelligence as his weapons, instead of a flaming sword; Saraqael seems to be linked to memory; Uriel to security. Sandalphon might be a kind of ‘armed hand’ of Heaven — a role traditionally held by Michael (perhaps we will see it in the Finale? 🤞).

Heaven in GO is responsible for the concepts belonging to the God of the Old Testament: divine justice without compassion, pointlessly cruel and fear-inspiring, demanding blind faith and absolute respect for rules and dogma. The New Testament introduces love, compassion, empathy, and turning the other cheek: all positive attitudes that clearly underpin the human ethics adopted by Aziraphale and Crowley, but which have no influence on anything in GO’s Heaven. As @wistfulnightingale wrote in their post, Aziraphale feels love, but the other angels don't, nor do they understand it.

All this is to say that yes, Sandalphon is the worst among the angels we’ve seen — but what if that’s precisely his role? A mere material executor of orders, in a domain he knows for certain to be ‘evil’; and evil must be eradicated—it won’t go away with a Gandhi-like attitude.

That is not how Heaven should work. And yet it (actually doesn’t) work that way.

In the Beginning, when Crowley speaks of how things ought to go in his view, Aziraphale is terrified. Heaven has never been the place of truth, light, or goodness.

Watching GO, we, like Crowley and Aziraphale, have realized that the system needs to be rebuilt, that between Heaven and Hell the difference is only one of aesthetics and form, but in reality they are just two supernatural factions with no other purpose than to keep fighting each other, regardless of everything else.

They are regimes, it's evident especially for Heaven. And, to borrow some ideas from Hannah Arendt and her Report on the Banality of Evil, in regimes that present themselves as good and just, the majority of those who are part of them — even among the ‘executioners’ — are not evil by nature (nor is the Antichrist!), but are common, banal, people steeped in ideology, subjected to deprivation of conscience, of ideas and imagination, to brainwashing and with the terrified awareness that they are constantly spied and may be arbitrarily punished for their shortcomings - that is, for disobeying orders and thinking critically (“Always asking damned fool questions…”) - with physical retaliation (Sandalphon with Aziraphale), killings for having done or even witnessed the wrong thing (body swap / Maggie and Nina wannabe pillars of salt), and forced purges / erasures of memory (Gabriel and perhaps Muriel), aiming to avoid even the appearance of an institutional problem.

These people go on like this because this is their life and they must; they act mechanically. If there is an order, they must obey: "I can't dis... not doing what I'm told" (Aziraphale can't even pronounce the word disobey), "you're an angel, I don't think you can do the wrong thing". There is only black or white: if you are not with us, you are against us — good is what we do, evil is what our enemies do. The reality for them is this: moving forward and minding one’s own patch. Think of Michael and Uriel: they've no problem with the Earth being destroyed and its billions of inhabitants suffering and dying. What do they care about, though? About who will hold the position of Supreme Archangel.

Things must go that way, and that’s it: “That’s the great plan!” G: "Very commendable, Aziraphale, excellent work, as usual". - M: "Yes. But, Aziraphale, we will be most understanding when you fail. After all, wars have to be won." - U: "Not avoided”.

In this way, no one is responsible for their actions.

No one can make a difference.

And besides, how can you understand what is good and what is evil, what is just and what is not, what shades of gray are, if you were raised and live immersed in a bubble of evil? You don’t know that an alternative exists.

Think of Gabriel and Beez. All it took for them was to meet on Earth in the few years between GO and GO2 and to have a relationship not limited to work, in order to exchange views, smooth out corners, empathize, understand that the Apocalypse is not a good thing, that Hell and Heaven don’t have to be enemies, that they shouldn't have to choose sides, and to fall in love.

And alongside the banality of evil (Gabriel, Uriel, Michael...) a smaller part of those who operate in a regime are made up of those who are sadistic, those who are truly wicked: in a word, Sandalphon. He's a cog in the system, useful to Metatron as a mole, as an armed hand, and as a ‘persuader’ to keep others from deviating from the diktat. But he isn't the one corrupting the others — indoctrination and fear have already done that.

And so, through a reading of Heaven, we come face to face with something profoundly human: the banality of evil, and its genesis.

And God? As always, She's absent, leaving everyone with free will — even those who don't know what it is.

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Welcome to Build-a-Frog!

Click here to enter

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Please take good care of them!

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you know what actually pisses me off? when I finally start to feel a smidge of confidence in my writing ability and then some JERK POSTS A SINGLE LINE FROM A TERRY PRATCHETT NOVEL AND IT’S BETTER THAN ANYTHING I WILL EVER WRITE NO MATTER HOW MANY MILLENNIA I SPEND TRYING!

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Aziraphale’s smile could:

End wars

Cure heartbreak

Start heartbreak (just ask Crowley)

Turn a jaded demon into a lifelong, love-struck fool