navskiiisadumii

[navskiiisadumii]

how do i get to the gremlin side of tumblr with the crazy stories and the "TF YOU MEAN YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO MAKE TEA" and "just killed my grandma #verymindful #verydemure #verycutesy"

[navskiiisadumii]

How to repulse anybody 101:

Do not sleep. Your brain will forget to do any of your basic hygiene tasks.

If 1 is not an option, willingly IGNORE your basic hygiene tasks. Deodorant? Nah. Teeth brushing? Nah? Showering? Who even does that anyways?

Come up with a list of weird hobbies. "I make wax out of the grease in my hair and use said wax to make candles!" "I collect my toenails and crush them into seasoning for my microwaved potatoes!" "I take the skin from my dry lips and make granny squares out of it." Be fucking horrible. Be disgusting with it.

If all else above fails, use this as your last resort: -> Face the person you are talking to directly. If they are shorter than you, look down at them. If they are taller than you, look up at them. Then, open your mouth and breathe out while doing a guttural, scratchy zombie imitation from the back of your throat. Make it have mucus! Make it wet! The person should not leave without the hair falling out of their nostrils and the knowledge that you probably just gave them some horrible, unknowable pathogen from the back of your slimy throat.

Enjoy!

[navskiiisadumii]

have yall ever decided to eat healthy and then you bite into a piece of yellow lettuce and realize why you dont eat healthy