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Hello, bottom Lan Xichen enthusiasts!

It is officially time to begin preparing for this event, which will be an exchange!!! :D

If you're seeing this post, then YOU 🫵 [yes YOU] should totally join in on the fun 😎

As the title implies, this event is centered around the general theme of Lan Xichen bottoming! If you're interested in putting the blorbo in bottom situations, you should join!!!

This event does NOT have any designated ships!!! *throws confetti* Who knows who will end up topping Lan Xichen...that's up to you!!! It is important to note, however, that this event does not allow incest/pedophilia/bestiality!

✨ Sign-ups begin August 3rd and will run through August 23rd! ✨

Please also keep in mind that this event is 18+ only!

More info, including the full timeline, can be found on the event Carrd:

Please don't be afraid to check out the Discord, too, regardless of whether or not you're interested in participating!

Shares are appreciated uwu ✨🫶

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Teen 3zun where nmj and jgy are always having lxc try new foods and lxc always comes home with a tummy ache like "shufu I ate a hot dog today, and I didn't like it" and lqr treats him like a young 19th century maiden who poisoned herself with arsenic

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Teen 3zun where nmj and jgy are always having lxc try new foods and lxc always comes home with a tummy ache like "shufu I ate a hot dog today, and I didn't like it" and lqr treats him like a young 19th century maiden who poisoned herself with arsenic

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Forever baffled at how people make Lan Xichen the most sexually knowledgable in their 3zun fics. Nie Mingjue has been walking among soldiers his whole life. We all know where Jin Guangyao comes from. Lan Xichen lives on prude mountain, where porn is appaling and men and women live seperately. He knows the least and wants the most

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nieyao: knows exactly what their problem is and this is their problem actually

nielan: refuses to talk about their problem and this is also their problem

xiyao: problem? what problem there is no problem here or anywhere ever what is a 'problem'???

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I love how it works both ways like JGY can be having a panic attack and LXC will be like he's panicking poor baby and NMJ will be like clearly this is a manufactured lie to invoke my sympathy and then trick me OR JGY can be having a panic attack and NMJ is like I think he's panicking and LXC is like well he claims he's not and actually I #believe in and affirm his reality so I'm going to agree that he's not and NMJ is like I think he's going to pass out actually

and like it's crucial that they're never in alignment and meanwhile JGY is in the background. Having a panic attack

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@eleanorfenyxwrites' gorgeous incredible showstopping OPCU is getting me emosh about queer cowboys 😭

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never forget that like, half the plot of mdzs is just the absolutely radioactive drama of a single throuple. so toxic that not only did the breakup have a body count, it had permanent ripple effects on the entire geopolitical landscape. the greater Portland polycule could never

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He hasn’t been picked up since he was a child

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Jim Hodges at the Walker Art Center

Untitled (one day it all comes true), 2013

denim fabric, thread

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stupid idea for a MDZS fanmade visual novel:

you play as jin zixuan. after a long series of various events and misunderstandings, you come to understand that your acquaintance jiang yanli, who you once wrote off as average, is in fact a perfect soul who you desperately want to marry. the only problem now is that she 1. is still convinced that you hate her, 2. probably hates your loser ass too, and 3. is surrounded by men and women who are far more qualified to date her than you are. #1 and #2 can hopefully be resolved eventually with enough time, effort, and apologies.....but #3 seems to render that impossible, since if you're not careful any one of these "more qualified" bachelor/ettes might snap her up first!!!!!

you immediately identifies wei wuxian as your biggest threat, because from your (jin zixuan's) pov, wei wuxian is jiang yanli's male childhood friend who she super dotes on. after seeing how close they are, you are initially almost ready to give up - except then you find out that lan wangji is gay and in love with wei wuxian, and thus realize that you can eliminate wei wuxian as a threat if wangxian get together. 

you then realize that this also applies to everyone else you see as a romantic threat. so, because you are a problem solver, you come up with a solution: before any of jiang yanli's friends can make a move on her, you will find a way to pair them all off with each other. that way, they will all be too busy dating each other and your path to yanli's heart will be (relatively) clear. 

so instead of being a dating sim, the objective of the visual novel is to help all the various side couples involving yanli's friends get together, so none of them can threaten xuanli. 

ideally, the game will let you freely choose which couples to push together, so there will be a wide variety of routes and endings.

("jiang yanli's friends" in this game is just the set that includes all the mdzs characters more commonly shipped with each other. jiang cheng is there, but he's yanli's brother so he's not a threat. so zixuan's strategy for him is just to keep him available on the side, so he can be paired up with whoever's left over after all the other matches have been made but is still a high enough threat.)

jin zixuan's threat assessments (accuracy not guaranteed):

extremely high:

wei wuxian

high:

nie mingjue (bc of his muscles)

lan xichen (bc he's popular)

wen qing (bc even straight girls would go lesbian for her)

medium:

wen ning (he seems too timid for dating)

nie huaisang (he seems more interested in hookups than dating)

jin guangyao (my own half-brother wouldnt betray me....right?)

low:

mianmian (she's my friend so she wouldn't betray me. also she seems interested in someone else (mr. mianmian))

lan wangji (gay, uninterested in women)

su minshan (too much of a hater)

jiang cheng (brother) 

conditions for victory:

wei wuxian must be paired with someone.

everyone from the high-risk group is paired off.

a maximum of 1 person from the medium-risk group is left unpaired; everyone else from the medium-risk group is paired off.

yanli approval score (explained below) is above a certain threshold.

you do not need to pair up anyone from the low-risk group in order to win; the low-risk group is there purely to help you. pairing off people in the high- and medium-risk group is necessary not because they are actually a threat to xuanli, but rather because jin zixuan will only feel secure enough to confess once almost all of his perceived romantic rivals have been removed.

some game notes:

throuples are allowed.

while wangxian is the most straightforward way to eliminate wei wuxian as a threat, the game also allows for other wei wuxian pairings. in other words, you as the player can betray lan wangji by pairing wei wuxian up with someone else instead - in which case the game is still winnable (ie. jin zixuan can still get together with jiang yanli, which is the victory condition), but you also unlock a special CG of lan wangji crying.

the achievement of the victory condition is decided not just by whether or not you successfully pair everyone else up, but also by a hidden metric called the yanli approval score. this is calculated by your interactions with wei wuxian, jiang cheng, and jiang yanli herself as the game continues: if you are kind to them, then the score goes up, and if you are rude to them, then the score goes down. if your yanli approval score is low enough upon the game's end, then yanli will still refuse to date zixuan even if you've successfully paired everyone else off.

notably, attempting to pair jiang cheng up with someone and then failing nets you a severe yanli approval score demerit, while successfully pairing up jiang cheng with someone nets you a high yanli approval score increase. interestingly, pairing chengxian together nets you the highest increase in yanli approval score.

if you get nielan together and then do not pair up jin guangyao with anyone, then the game gives you the option of putting in the hard work to help him network. it is highly recommended that you take this option, as if you do not, jin guangyao will expose to jiang yanli everything you as jin zixuan have done in the least flattering terms possible, which will make yanli unwilling to date zixuan and will net you a game over.

if you get xiyao together and then do not pair up nie mingjue with anyone, then the game gives you the option of putting in the hard work to find him a hobby. it is highly recommended that you take this option, as if you do not, nie huaisang will push jin zixuan into the traffic and you will get a game over.

if you intend on pairing up jiang cheng with anyone other than wei wuxian himself, then wei wuxian will run interference against you; a successful strategy therefore must include anti-wei-wuxian measures. this remains true even if you previously helped wangxian get together, because wei wuxian is an ungrateful bastard.

if you intend on pairing up jiang cheng with lan xichen, then both wei wuxian and lan wangji will run interference. because of this, the xicheng route is probably the hardest route involving jiang cheng in the entire game; to compensate for this, the xicheng route also has the second-most CGs (after wangxian).

if you get jin guangyao together with someone, then he will offer his assistance to you for the rest of the game. this translates into additional stats, intel, and information on who likes who the most, which will make the rest of your run easier.

if you get nie mingjue together with someone, then nie huaisang will offer his assistance to you for the rest of the game as well. nie huaisang offers the same assistance as jin guangyao above, but he also includes his own commentary and opinions.

you (as jin zixuan) cannot date anyone else. sorry zixuan x other shippers, this is a xuanli game.

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I'm SO sorry but I had to...

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MY: you look like a milf and I look like your kid, I can't... we can't go out like this, please wear different shoes 😭

from this hilarious video

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Big Boyfriends with Big Tits. send tweet.

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look... I don't think being women would necessarily 100% fix NieYao, but I do think they'd find it a lot easier to see eye-to-eye on the most... important things, yanno?

meanwhile things are........... complicated for Xichen 🥲

^ LXC frantically dodging pushy male suitors, her clan's gendered expectations and complex relationship with female leadership, and the intense trauma surrounding what it means To Be Her Mother's Daughter