needabefitnotfat

[needabefitnotfat]

slow but a start.

[needabefitnotfat]

wow ok. so ive gone really downhill with this sadness ive been feeling the past couple months. it started with me not being able to workout at all because i went on a trip on feb 13-16. and i havent worked out since. i feel like all my progress went to shit and i finally talked myself into going for a run tonight. i sucked, but i'm still proud of myself for going. and i'm going to suck it up and go to back to the gym tomorrow night and for another run in the morning. so pissed at myself for gaining weight i lost back.

[needabefitnotfat]

35-24-35

[needabefitnotfat]

Too often people think of exercise in black or white categories: “thirty minutes” or “no minutes.” In reality, any minutes of movement are better than none.

Joel K. Kahn, MD, Integrative Cardiologist (via motiveweight)

[needabefitnotfat]

So I decided to put some of my progress pics side by side today for reference.  It is SO cool to see how my body is changing. 

[needabefitnotfat]

I wanted to do a little before/during in the same pair of pants. I’m definitely not disappointed! 3 months of progress :)

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Motivation on We Heart It - http://weheartit.com/entry/96821349

[needabefitnotfat]

The left photo is exactly one year ago when my life consisted of nothing but cardio as exercise, next to no food, binge drinking & drugs almost every weekend (Im telling it straight) The right is formed from a healthy balanced diet with 6 meals a day. Exercise 4-5 times a week with mixed cardio & weight training & a mindset to make my body the best it can be. I am now 5kilos heavier then I use to be, from 45kg-50kg. I am posting this to show everyone the difference that a healthy mindset can make, not only on your body but you as an individual. I have never been healthier & happier in my life & thats the change I made for no one but MYSELF. YOU make your own choices, YOU create your own happiness. Now… Has everyone been to gym today? :D Lets smash it!!!

[needabefitnotfat]

Going 3 months without weighing myself was a HUGE accomplishment for me. I felt free from numbers, anxiety, I could finally EAT without guilt, without my mind racing. Stepping on that scale was the worst thing I could have done after those three months. My weight was up 10 POUNDS. I stood there and cried. I wanted to take back those 3 months of carefree eating and all of the muscle I had gained. I put my clothes back on and immedietely everything felt tighter, I felt horrible, disgusting, and ashamed.  That number is imbedded in my brain and I don’t know how to get rid of the thoughts and feelings along with that number. I took pictures today and I may be 10 pounds heavier but I’m getting strong as hell. My strength has increased greatly in those 3 months. My mental health has improved. I’ve been able to silence the demons more times than not and I’m going to keep on going. I’m going to keep eating, keep lifting, and keep fighting. These pictures show the strength i’ve gained from my eating disorder, not the pounds. These pictures show how i’ve struggled, continue to struggle but i’m coming out on top. And that’s all that matters. I can’t wait to beat the shit out of my ed for good.

[needabefitnotfat]

Good luck on T25!

thanks! its harder than i thought it haha