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Rumour has it that this key can open any lock in existence. But be careful. Some doors aren’t meant to be opened.

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idk if i like any of her proposed names so far tho hmmmm

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jokes to make after failure that aren’t self-deprecating:

I’m the best to ever do it

Nobody saw that (best if said loudly)

No one’s ever done it like me

I could be President/they should make me President

Behold, a mere fraction of my power!

The public wants to be me soooooo bad

I’m an expert in (thing you just failed at)

How could this have happened to god’s favorite princess?

Nothing ibuprofen and a glass of water cant fix

I’m being sabotaged

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Blog for me my angel

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I love seeing a meme and being like oh, tumblrs going to love this one

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Incredible things happening on tumblr

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people are always slandering historians for saying reasonable things like "some things that seem romantic to us were platonic in the context of the times", when there's so many evil historians you actually have to look out for. number 1 : the closet royalist

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officially the best line in The Odyssey

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fuuuuck i just realized that the future idealized version of myself cant exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things. has anybody heard about this

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WIP

Ugh ugly old man. Love em.

Design inspired by @/pom0w0 on X !!! Their art is so beautiful ฅ⁠^♡⁠ﻌ♡⁠^⁠ฅ

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i will never forgive tumblr for what they did to cbs elementary you're telling me that in 2012 we had by far one of the most interesting and accurate depictions of a MODERN sherlock holmes with cute little easter eggs and characters from the original stories with great characterisation, INCREDIBLY written female characters (PLURAL), and one of the best platonic relationships that i've ever seen in media, SEVEN WHOLE SEASONS 154 EPISODES and you still chose bendysnap crunchyback. you were all too obsessed with english people and bad yaoi to see

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Why’s it called Real Estate though. Where’s the Fake Estate

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i forgot a crucial part of pet ownership: bothering that animal a little