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I know its probably not but the idea that superman 2025 and the batman take place in the same universe at similar times is so funny to me. All this weird shit is going on with aliens and pocket dimensions in metropolis and then like an hour away its serial killer twitch streamers and the saddest wettest emo boy

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*Jason gets Tim and Damian to help find out who is trying to kill him*

Tim: We’re in.

Damian: Now, do we have any information on who might wanna kill Jason besides all of us?

*Jason throws a giant binder on the table*

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Everyone thinks they’re radicalized these days. Well start blowing shit up then

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Superman (2025) + tweets

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sheepish is a really funny word. fuck im so nervous (turns into this)

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Evacuation

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conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 6

Jason: hey, Nightwing, you still on this line?

Dick: *slightly strained* yeah hey, we're here, what's up? i thought you and Red Robin were on a stakeout?

Jason: yeah we just got a question, we're trying to settle a debate.

Dick: go for it.

Jason: Tim asked which terrorist attack i thought had the most 'aura', and now we're arguing over their different aesthetics.

Dick: oh for fucks sake.

Jason: now i said- what the fuck's that reaction for?

Dick: you guys have got to stop having those kinds of conversations on patrol, dude. last week Vicky Vale released an article about how Robin and Red Robin were recorded by civilians discussing which rogues were most likely to be transphobic.

Damian: i still believe Joker would be an ally.

Dick: -shut up Robin. one of these days you guys're gonna get us all cancelled on twitter.

*a few beats of silence*

Jason: ok so anyway, i said 9/11,

Dick, groaning: Hood.

Damian: what's 9/11?

Jason: ...sorry what?

Damian: 9/11. what is it.

Dick: *loud sigh* just a reminder, Robin, we're supposed to be tracking a drug cartel right now.

Jason: shut the fuck up Dick he doesn't know what 9/11 is- TIM FUCK OFF stop trying to use my com, join the call yourself!

Tim, very distantly: TELL HIM I HAVE A POWERPOINT ON ALL THE CONSPIRACIES, TELL HIM- *grunt*

Jason: -said fuck OFF. Damian we really need to have a conversation about what exactly the league's education for you entailed, because a lot of stuff got left out.

Damian: is this going to be like when you taught me about the omegaverse? because i didn't like that. Nightwing i found the truck by the way, pinging you my location.

Dick: hold on- fuck the drug cartel, Hood you told him about the omegaverse?!

*a beat*

Dick: did he just fucking disconnect from the line-?!

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affirmations for writers: i know how to write. i have seen sentences before, and i know how to make one. i can identify up to several words and their meanings. i am not afraid of semicolons.

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if i use pronouns to start my sentences one more time i am going to burn my wip alive

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When Ao3 (Tumblr's wife) is down...

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I've said it before and i'll say it again: THAT IS NOT A FUCKING METAPHOR, JOHN GREEN

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conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 5

Dick: ok i think that's our guy. you ready to- *pause* Hood.

Jason: *distracted questioning hum*

Dick: who are you texting right now? we're supposed to be working.

Jason: yeah, yeah- i'm paying attention, i am, it's just the demon brat.

Dick: wait- you're texting Damian?!

Jason, casual: yeah, he's still pissed that Bruce's made him go on that overnight fieldtrip. been complaining to me all day about it.

Dick: *incredulous noise* i text him once to ask how it was going and he told me if i kept 'hovering' he'd block my number! how come you can text him all day and i get banned instantly?!

Jason: because i'm the fun brother?

Dick: you are not the-

*distant ping* *a snort*

Dick: -wait what'd he say?

Jason: uh, 'this is fucking stupid, i should have stayed in the desert'. hold on, let me voice message him back a sec and then we can go jump our target.

Jason: *throat clear* you should just shoot up the school, it would solve all your problems instantly.

Dick: JASON JESUS CHRIST-

Jason: don't fuckin' yell in my ear! and don't yell my goddamn identity, what's your problem?!

Dick: you can't say that shit to him!

Jason: see this is why i'm the fun brother. Damian'l find that funny, you guys are all just cowards.

*distant ping*

Jason: see? 'lmfao'. i'm his favourite.

Dick: you both scare me so much.

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every day i struggle between the choice of writing or ao3-ing or tumblr-ing before i inevitably have to sleep and it's a terrible terrible struggle

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I'm going to *remembers suicide jokes are detrimental to my mental health* quit my job and start making shoes for American Girl Dolls

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when i first heard about the male loneliness epidemic i was like oh yeah close camaraderie and bonding between men is often discouraged in favor of competition or, if not discouraged, at least filtered through a lens of individualism that precludes deep connections. and then i learned what people meant by it (men arent getting laid) to which i say skill issue