nicodiangeloisliterallymefr

[nicodiangeloisliterallymefr]

one of the great texts of the modern era

[nicodiangeloisliterallymefr]

[nicodiangeloisliterallymefr]

i don’t think there’s anything funnier than saying “god forbid women do anything” in response to women doing the most objectively horrifying actions possible.

[nicodiangeloisliterallymefr]

performing the "u-turn of blowjobs" because i do a little bit and run away and also it does bug type damage

[nicodiangeloisliterallymefr]

I’m going to make a new font called Times New Bastard

[nicodiangeloisliterallymefr]

ugh i NEED someone to kiss and to cuddle with and to hold close to me and to breed me and what no i didn't say anything what are you talking about. i think i left the oven on

[nicodiangeloisliterallymefr]

my favorite part about Date Everything is that it becomes a horror game when you actually think about it for even a moment.

everything in your house. is alive.

every appliance, every piece of furniture. the air you breathe, the water you flush down the toilet. the goddamn toilet itself.

they've been alive, the whole time. watching, listening, judging. there is nothing they do not know. they've seen and heard everything you thought was private.

think of all those moments you have when you're alone in your home. the things you would never let anyone else see. every gross, embarrassing, intimate, heartbroken, and painful moment. even your nightmares were laughing at you.

and you were never actually alone. for any of it.

those nights you cried yourself to sleep? your bed could feel your tears soaking into her.

that time you got so sick you spent the whole day on the bathroom floor? the floor could feel herself grow slippery with your sweat.

and it's not their fault, of course it isn't. i'm sure Betty would have held you if she could, stroking your back until you fell asleep. i'm sure florence would have gotten you a cool rag and a glass of water if she'd been able.

it's as much torture for them as it is for you.

maybe when you're mad your slam your doors. or maybe you throw your dirty clothes into a corner and wait too long to wash them again. maybe you once plugged in one too many things and blew a fuse.

and none of them, not dorian or dirk or eddie or volt were able to tell you that you were hurting them. they could only suffer and endure.

and that's not your fault. if you'd known they could feel, you'd have been much more careful. but you still hurt them all the same.

also almost every single one of them has probably seen you naked.

[nicodiangeloisliterallymefr]

[nicodiangeloisliterallymefr]

how are you people alive.

[nicodiangeloisliterallymefr]

THE ENTIRE WEST IS BEING PUT UP FOR SALE AND I AM BEGGING YOU TO CALL YOUR SENATORS

Trump’s budget bill has many, many things in it, but buried amongst it is the MILLIONS OF ACRES OF PUBLIC LAND FOR SALE.

This is the entirety of the Arizona state forests, the entire Cascades mountain range. Swathes of pristine desert around the national parks in Utah. On the doorstep of Jackson Hole.

THIS BILL IS BIG, BUT IT CAN BE AMENDED AND ABSOLUTELY MUST NOT PASS AS IS please.

If you have ever enjoyed the wilderness, we stand to lose it all forever.

CALLING your senators - NOT JUST IN THE WEST. ALL SENATORS, is CRUCIAL.

Outdoor alliance has a great resource for reaching out.

I don’t have a huge following but please, everywhere I have ever loved, the forests I grew up playing in, the land I got married on, is all at risk and I am begging.

[nicodiangeloisliterallymefr]

Me, age 10, doing an essay on the pharoah’s curse for school: huh. So this archeologist that died and everyone thought it was because he disturbed the pharoah’s tomb actually died because he used a rusty razor to shave and it infected a mosquito bite. I can see how people could come to that conclusion, but it is a bit silly

Me, today, shaving my mosquito bite-ridden legs: I must tread carefully lest I incur the pharoah’s wrath

[nicodiangeloisliterallymefr]

big fan of rose quartz. i think we should have more rocks with just a bit of iron in them that makes them bright pink

[nicodiangeloisliterallymefr]

hold on something just happened

[nicodiangeloisliterallymefr]

hate when youtubers change the title and thumbnail on an existing video to drive new engagement. this is not my beautiful house this is not my beautiful wife.

[nicodiangeloisliterallymefr]

tumblr discourse after 13 years on this fucking website

[nicodiangeloisliterallymefr]

mildly funny when someone gets divorced out of your family and your relationship status becomes like. ex-uncle. ex-stepsibling. yeah we shared holiday dinners for years and now you're just some guy to me. c'est la vie.