nikhroum

[nikhroum]

дорисовал хорни-безобразие по небезызвестному референсу, больше не знаю, что тут ещё сказать... ENJOY! 💜

[nikhroum]

новогодние шастуны номер двас, потому что март — самое время для таких приколов, конечно же 🤡🎇

[nikhroum]

tommo x ash shipper shout out

i came back to brassic a few days ago and to my surprise find 3 last seasons unseen. the 4th was binge watched yesterday. now i'm past the middle of 5th and found myself at an intense shipper panic and inability of remaining silent anymore

just tell me you do ship them too and no one get hurt 😈

they come up near each other a lot of the screen time

and by near i mean CLOSELY NEAR (yeah, that's ashley, calming down tommo's panic attack, as good boyfriends do)

omg, are you two glued there or what??

taking him out with this hand on a shoulder is very necessary, of course. (cardi ships them too btw!)

tommo: it was picant, yet intense

ash: /immediate sex flashbacks/

CARDI KNOWS!!

i mean, their sexual orientations match. they has this CHEMISTRY thing precisely (sparks a lot when they quarrel or annoy each other). and remember when tommo told that phrase about ash's WELL-KNOWN bigness ("everywhere") with such pride like he'd definitely tested it himself? (see no reason for him not to)

what else do we need, right??

[nikhroum]

jeez i feel traumatized by this post and the vietnam flashbacks lead here:

yes, your honour, i made them yellow and blue to symbolize the brightness outside the closet and the darkness inside it, byler made me and i will NOT apologize !!

[nikhroum]

ещё один страшно любимый фандом и нежно любимый пейринг. триптих по джонлоку со стихами есенина ("чёрный человек") — буквально туториал как сделать стекло ещё стекляннее: добавь к нему русскую поэзию 🖤

eng: another one terribly beloved fandom and gently loved pairing. johnlock triptych with lines from sergey esenin poem "the dark man". literally a tutorial how to make angst even angster — add russian poetry to it 🖤

for those interested i'm giving translation of the used lines. (i'm not sure if this is the best variation 'cause i wasn't searching for one a lot but it's close enough)

bluish pic.

Friend, friend of mine, I'm gravely ill, I'm sickening. I’ve no idea what causes me such pain. Is it the wind Over empty wasteland whistling, Or alcohol denuding, Like an autumn grove, my brain?

reddish pic.

“Listen, listen!” He rasps, staring me in the face, And ever closer bends To admonish me: “I don’t think I've ever yet seen A commonplace Rogue so needlessly plagued By insomnia”.

greenish pic.

“Happiness, he’d say, Is deftness of hand and brain. All clumsy souls Are ever known as wretched. It doesn’t matter a damn That so much pain Is caused by artificial And lying gestures”.

Translated by Peter Tempest / source

[nikhroum]

новогодние шастуны номер раз, которых я почему-то до сих пор не принёс сюда 🥂

[nikhroum]

and yeah, this row of reblogs means that i've finally watched the movie. and oh my god, it's huge. i mean, it's so impressive and affects me as deep that i can't even put my words in some sort of a proper review as i usually do. feels like i'm gonna rewatch it and say something more meaningful after.

it's just all in one: i'm so much inspired by beat generation, i fucking love william burroughs' crazy mind, i love his "queer" novel among others and i'm literally in love with luca guadagnino movies. so yeah, i just need some time to digest my impressions

Queer (Luca Guadagnino, 2024)

[nikhroum]

goddammit i just can't

The Blood of a Poet (1930) dir. Jean Cocteau Queer (2024) dir. Luca Guadagnino

[nikhroum]

it was so easy to fall for him

DREW STARKEY as EUGENE ALLERTON Queer (2024) dir. Luca Guadagnino

[nikhroum]

amen 🙏

#And he's dead serious (and right)

[nikhroum]

ah shit, here we go again

that's me, woke up today, pour a sweet lack-of-sleep morning bucket of coffee, opened pinterest and was accidentally caught up myself questioning my own gender identity. AGAIN

i mean fr how am i supposed to be sure??

yeah, of course, i can just chill out and stick to umbrella terms but i'm too meticulous nerd not to be so precisely specified. so today agenda's matter is whether i'm genderfluid as i thought for the previous couple of years or bigender one after all? 🙃

being born a girl, i sometimes can get really angry when someone uses she/her pronouns on me without permission. mostly it happens online where i position myself as a boy (excluding rare examples). btw i have no disphoria and close to zero discomfort with feeling myself a girl. i love my female body and can sometimes go with ultra feminine image of me. but not all the time. like, i have real problems with being glued forever for this fem version of me (that's exactly what was happening most of my lifetime, thanks to heteronormative + queerphobic culture)

sometimes i consider myself a boy. not just consider, more like feel. prefer masculine image of me. use he/him pronouns. not only online, irl too. (with the amendment that i'm rarely ready to explain my indentity to the strangers so just respond to "she/her", even if i'm not feeling as one at the moment. still my country's astronomically far from progressive thinking and tolerance, so with 90% chance you'll encounter hatred or at least blank misunderstanding when give it a try to correct the accost. but with some of familiars and friends i can be fully me).

the thing is i'm in torment of choice again 'cause i'm not sure how the fuck does it works. i thought it's fluidity 'cause i do feel my gender change depending on time, situation and place. but today i stumbled across the bigendery flag, got curious, read about and was like: JFC IT'S LITERALLY ME! and here we are, confused and questioning again...

i'm not sure whether it's distinct and fixed gender states or a fluid range across the spectrum. sometimes i feel like a girly girl, sometimes like a tomboy, a fem-mannered boy, even a tough man — but it's more like expressions than genders. the genders for me are kinda binary the same: fem and male. i can understand and accept the non-binar third gender but can't, you know, feel it myself. so who the fuck am i???

tbh i'm looking at bigender label 'cause it'll make me the ultimate illustration of "bi bi bi": bisexual + bigender + bipolar — and i find it fucking hilarious 🤡 (sorry, he's hopeless)

anyways, i don't know, maybe i need your opinions if you were coming through something close and/or identify yourself as a genderfluid/bigender (how does your feeling works??). movie/tv show/blogs with similar themes recommendations might be useful too 💜

thank you for coming to my ted talk! 🙌

[nikhroum]

i NEED 👑 the queen 👑 in my blog ✨

sex and the city | 2.04

[nikhroum]

jesus i'm feeling so much better now after staring at those gifs ❤️

Also these behind the scenes moments/bloopers exist. This is part of why we ship wincest. Thank you J2.

[nikhroum]

omg, this shit creeped me out so much when i watched the show. i mean, it was OBVIOUS. didn't hear what mark said but now it's even more clear. jared's acting was just crystal. i felt traumatized from every scene with him & lucifer in. and i do think that lucifer as an antagonist is the ultimate best in the whole show, but jfc i'll never understand samifer's representation other way than damnable and condemned, 'cause romanticizing rape was, is and always will be tabooed for me

why do people like to pretend that sam was not raped by lucifer when lucifer preyed on him in season 5 and sam had full panic attack the moment lucifer called him his bitch in every sense of the term. mark said it was true and jared pushed secret subtext to prove it happened, his limping, how he is suddenly mute, or stuttering when he is nervous etc.

[nikhroum]

normal brothers 💗

[nikhroum]

can we be besties i love supernatural and im studying russian <3

hahaha, yeah, i'm pretty sure it's more than enough for besties! 😄❤️

[nikhroum]

(for eng. version pls scroll down a bit)

вайб первых сезонов — это что-то непередаваемое. хочется утопиться в этом гипнотическом мареве мистического ужастика, который местами действительно способен напугать (от серии про вендиго у меня до сих пор мурашки). просто молюсь на то, как это снято: скринкапсы первых сезонов чаще всего выглядят как искусство сами по себе, не нуждаясь даже в особенной обработке.

а винчестеры? эта их искрящаяся с первых же сцен сумасшедшая химия, тянущийся сквозь сюжет неразрешённый теншн, вроде готовый вот-вот взорваться, а вроде способный и дальше растягиваться вот так жвачкой сквозь целую жизнь. эта ноющая тоска, кристаллизованная в молчании и долгих голодных взглядах, — мучительное осознание, что то, чего ты на самом деле хочешь, тебе не получить.

боже, как же сильно я всё это люблю 🖤

that first seasons' vibe is something indescribable. i wanna drown myself in this hypnotic mystic horror haze which actually can scare sometimes (the "wendigo" episode's still able to give me creeps). i'm on my knees for how it was filmed: first seasons screencaps more often looks like true art themselves without any need in special artsy processing.

and the winchesters? their sparkling from very first shots, insane chemistry. their unresolved tension, dragging on through the plot, either ready to burst up just about, or able to stretch like a bubblegum through the whole life. their aching yearning, crystallized in silence and long starving gazes — torturous realization that what you really wanna you can't have.

omg, how much i LOVE it all 🖤

🎵 lera lynn • the only thing worth fighting for