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[nikkikiki]

Holy shit this was a wild fucking ride

The Bangs Incident:

A Tokyo Barbershop Adventure Where I (Unintentionally) Ask For A Little Off The Top And Get The Haircut Of A Lifetime

It all began with a craving for spontaneity and a dangerously vague idea of what "getting freshened up" meant while traveling. It was a windy day and I was getting frustrated with my hair. I tied my hair up so it wouldn't get in the way. But my bangs - ugh - so annoying! They were too long! And with the strong winds my fringe kept poking my eyes.

I had been wandering the backstreets of Tokyo’s Asakusa district when I saw it—a narrow storefront tucked between a soba shop and a closed-down shoe store, its frosted glass window advertising “Traditional Cuts – Clean Hairstyle, Clean Life.” The little red, white, and blue barber pole spun with quiet optimism.

I needed a bang trim. That was all. Just my bangs. Nothing dramatic.

I stepped inside.

The moment the bell jingled overhead, I realized something was off. The walls were lined with sun-bleached posters of older men with glorious combovers. There were no women. No female hairstyles. Just one empty chair and one old Japanese barber in a crisp white linen smock.

He bowed politely. I bowed awkwardly.

He gestured to the chair.

I should’ve left.

I sat down.

It's ok. I told myself. There's no problem with getting my bangs trimmed here. It'll be cheaper than a fancy salon.

“Maegami���” I tried. I repeated myself "Maegami onegaishemasu..." The barber tried to decipher my terrible pronunciation.

I gave up. Shyly, I told the barber in English, "Trim the bangs. Only the bangs. Trim. Cut." I tugged at my bangs to make it extra clear what I wanted, just in case. "Cut. Cut. Bangs." I tugged and pointed at my bangs again. I nodded, to soften the request. "Kudasai."

He nodded enthusiastically. “Hai...Maegami! Bangsu! OK!" He gave me a thumbs up.

And that was the beginning of the end.

Electric clippers buzzed to life behind me, sounding much louder than they should in a room that quiet. He gently brushed back my bangs with a tiny black comb. Then, he firmly held the slicked-back bangs in place with it, exposing my forehead. I could see him hesitate as he honed in on my hairline.

Then came the first pass.

BZZZRRRRRRRT!

The clippers made their bold entrance right at the center of my forehead.

I flinched. He flinched. We locked eyes in the mirror for one split second—his eyes wide with panic, mine wide with deep regret. There was a clean stripe now. My natural hairline had just been adjusted an inch north. He looked at it, tilted his head, and gave a strained chuckle. “Ah… chotto... muzukashii ne.” He sighed.

Then, before I could stop him—

BZZRT! BZRT!

Two more quick swipes, right and left. The hairline was now squared but… very crooked and further back than it should be. I stared at my reflection bugged-eyed in shock. The whiteness of my exposed scalp was blinding.

He paused. Beads of sweat appeared at his temples. I saw his hands shake slightly as he adjusted his grip on the clippers.

I thought to myself, trying to reason with what just happened, did he say "bangsu" or "bouzu"?

Too late! He leaned in, slow and deliberate this time. The clippers came down with the tension of someone trying to quickly defuse a bomb.

Bzzzzzzzzzzrt...

He shaved deeper into my hair trying to round out my new hairline. Now the whole front of my head looked like a stadium concourse. It was still uneven. My once-glorious bangs lay in a pile on my lap unaware of the devastation that was left behind.

I wanted to speak up. To tell him to stop. But I couldn’t. I was frozen, smiling politely like a hostage in a corporate headshot. I had to keep smiling to hold back the tears. He smiled back nervously. He knew he fucked up.

I white-knuckle gripped the arms of the barber's chair as he revved up the clippers again. He switched tactics. This time, quick little jabs with the clippers.

BZRT! BZRT! BZRT!

More hair tumbled down. A smooth oval was forming where there once had been a cute fringe and long locks of hair.

He stepped back, squinting, muttering to himself in quiet horror. But he wasn't done yet.

BZZZRRRRRT!

He paused again, stepped back to assess the symmetry, and went in again with tight movements pushing the clippers further into my hair. BZZRT! BZZRT! BZZRT!

I could feel a draft blow over the top of my head.

One final pass—BZZZRRRRRT— triumphantly ran over my scalp in a swift curved scoop. A tuft of hair flew off the blade of the clippers. To his satisfaction, my hairline was finally symmetrical.

I was now the proud owner of a shiny bald pate. A tonsure. The front of my hairline started somewhere in the middle of my head.

We stared at each other in the mirror. The silence was thick. I was on the verge of tears. So was he.

Then I said the only thing I could think of:

“Very… clean, isn’t it? Totemo kirei desu ne?"

He nodded solemnly.

He brushed off the little bits of hair that clung to my face and he hurriedly ripped off the cape as I trembled out of the chair trying to find my footing. I could feel the blood drain from my face, and my legs felt like jelly. He bowed deeply - almost to the floor - and apologized profusely. He continued to bow and apologize as I paid for the haircut. I was still too chickenshit to say anything. He offered me a small packet of tissues and a matcha candy as a consolation prize.

I left the shop with a new appreciation for hats. As I walked away, I patted the massive artificially-made bald spot. The long wavy locks that remained blew in the wind.

Since I now look like I have male-pattern baldness, maybe I should go back and ask for a comb over like in those photos...? I entertained the thought.

When I got back to my hotel, the handsome concierge that I was crushing on stared at me in horror. I did not have the courage to look him in the eye. I wore hats and bought a wig to wear during the rest of my trip. Every day was a struggle to hold myself back from wiping away sweat from the top of my head and revealing my chrome dome to the world.

And that is how a fun trip to Japan turned into an unforgettable experience.

[nikkikiki]

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JoJo “STEEL BALL RUN” Live Action

[nikkikiki]

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[nikkikiki]

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