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my storytelling final! or, that week i almost went blind cross-hatching!

it’s a couple weeks old at this point, but i’m still proud of it (all that cross-hatching…) even though looking back at it now i can see a ton of flaws or things i just could’ve done better. maybe i’ll redo it one day.

the page colors are kind of wonky because they’re photographs; i didn’t have a scanner big enough for the pages.

hell yeah monster/human friendships

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Heroes are ordinary people who make themselves extraordinary

↳ Misha Collins:

“I actually think that the most efficacious way of making a difference is to lead by example. Doing random acts of kindness is setting a very good example of how to behave in the world.”

 “I think that kindness and generosity are infectious qualities, that when you carry them out, you often inspire others to do the same, and that one small act can actually have an exponential effect.”

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:)

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Greek Mythology:    Hades & Persephone

So I grabbed my king and ran away to a land of death, where I reigned and people whispered that I’d been dragged. I’ll tell you I’ve changed. I’ll tell you, the red on my lips isn’t wine. I hope you’ve heard of horns, but that isn’t half of it. Out of an entire kingdom he kneels only to me, calls me Queen, calls me Mercy.                                                                                                    -Daniella Michalleni, “Persephone Speaks”

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I wish that things were always linear, like the amount of something you put into something, you get out of something. Like if you study your ass off for a test you’ll always ace it or if you love someone with your whole that they’d love you just the same, but it just isn’t always like that

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In support of the I year anniversary of #AKF, the 10 of us (me,@padaleckhi, @lipglosskaz, @adoringjensen, @dancewithmejensen, @cabinboyjackles, @flirtyjensen, @strengthcas, @poorbeautifuldean, and @jensenscomedyelbows are teaming up for a giveaway for those who are unable to buy one.

UPDATE ***there will be 12 winners***

Prize: Your choice of (1) from the following from the #AFK 5 campaign:

Alstyle Big Short Sleeve Tee

American Apparel ¾ Sleeve

Next Level Female Tri-Blend Racerback Tank

Next Level Tank Top

Next Level Unisex Fitted Tee

Tultex Female Fitted Short Sleeve

or

(1) YANA shirt, unisex, size XL, still in packaging (donated by @jensenscomedyelbows)

**There’s only one YANA shirt available so whoever from the winners list will reply back to us first (who wants a YANA shirt instead of an AKF shirt), gets it**

What you’ll have to do:

You don’t have to be following us (although appreciated)

Must reblog this post once, no likes

Will ship internationally

Ends Sunday (March 13th, 2016) at 9 pm EST

Winners:

Winners will be picked by random number generator and will be announced when giveaway ends

We will send you a message so please have have your askbox open

We will need your full name, mailing address, and email address so you have to be comfortable with giving us those info

If you don’t reply within 24 hours, another winner will be picked

If not participating but signal boosting, please tag accordingly. If you want to join in and donate a shirt, please let me know.

Thank you to @sensitivehandsomeactionman​ and @chevrolangels for joining us!

*Banner by @adoringjensen*

~check the original post for updates~

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Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless

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Space versus matter is a false fucking dichotomy.

i had a gig at a women’s poetry night on Wednesday, and I read this poem about why it’s bullshit that the world is obsessed with women being thin. 

Please share!

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Autoimmune Arthritis - the unspoken truths

I thought I might do a little post with information about living with autoimmune arthritis. Over the years I have discovered that lots of doctors don't talk about some crucial facts of living with this disease. Hopefully this will help some people rather than scaring anyone. Some background on me: I was diagnosed when I was 6 months old. I am 30 1/2 years old now. 2016 is the 30th anniversary of diagnosis. I would love to meet other Rheumies who can say that they've been sick for over 30 years! We are a small group sadly. I have never been in remission My official main diagnosis is "idiopathic eosinophilic extended oligo-articular juvenile arthritis with rheumatic progression and extensive extra-articular involvement". Try saying that five times fast. Basically I have a bunch of autoimmune conditions that affect (at this point in time) all of my joints (including jaw and ears), bones (OA and OP), muscles (myositis), tendons (tendinitis), brain (stroke), red blood cells (anaemia not related to iron), arteries, lungs, eyes (uveitis and iritis), skin (psoriasis) and my liver (cirrhosis not due to alcohol). But enough about me, down to some important facts: 1. There are different types of autoimmune conditions (even within the same disease) because there are 3 different parts of the immune system that can become effected. Lymphocytes type one -> B-Cells attack bacteria and toxins Lymphocytes type two -> T-Cells attack viruses and cancers Leukocytes (including eosinophils) attack parasites and fungi So for example, in my case it is the leukocytes (specifically the eosinophils) that are the crazy fighting part of my disease. So taking a drug that kills my b-Cells (rituxan) wouldn't help me. 2. Autoimmune conditions are effected by oestrogen which is why more females than males get sick. (Men do have eostrogen just like us females do have testosterone). This might also explain why some people experience remission when pregnant. 3. Autoimmune diseases tend to follow 10 year cycles. Roughly. Having gone through 3 "cycles" it seems like some times it's 8years, some times it's 12. Some people find that 10 years after they're diagnosed they go into remission and then roughly 10 years later the diseases come back. For me, I have a really bad health year or two approximately every 10 years. Going through one now in fact. 4. Movement is really important. But it can also do more harm than good. Living with an autoimmune arthritis is a fine balance. Not moving makes joints and muscles stiff causing them to fuse. But, and it's a big but, if you put too much stress on a joint that is inflamed you will cause the disease to damage the bone and muscle faster. Move when you can, rest when you must. 5.muscles start wasting after 48 hours of rest. I don't really need to explain this one. Muscle wasting is not fun, speaking from Experience there. And if a muscle is wasting for 1 week then it will take 2 weeks to re-strengthen it. I spent the last 12 months Bedbound in hospital and I know it's going to take me 2 years to get my strength back. 6. You can't always "see" the disease - swelling does not always equal inflammation. And inflammation does not always equal swelling. Most of the time a big swollen and hot and red looking joint is inflamed. But a big cool joint might "just" be swollen. Hurts like hell still but at least it's not destructive disease. Sometimes I can "feel" disease inflammation but the joint doesn't look swollen, an ultrasound is the quickest way to check. Remember inflamed joints need to be rested. 7.there are different types of pain The inflamed disease active type. This means rest, rest now, rest good. No weight bearing, none, ok you can use the bathroom but then straight back to bed. An ultrasound or Mri is the only sure way to tell but over the years you learn to recognise it. Hot, swollen, red joints are also a give away. It's worth getting a few ultrasounds when you have pain - so you can learn when it's inflamed and when not. Never assume you know. The disease damage pain. If you're unlucky and your disease doesn't go into remission it can damage you. It can damage bones, joints, muscles and your organs. That damage will hurt. Even when the disease isn't very active, even if you go into remission. You don't have to rest. But don't beat your body up either. This pain isn't harmful, and once you learn to recognise it you will find that this pain isn't so scary. It hurts but it isn't damaging you, think of it as an old friend. Annoying but you still love em. The stress pain - I don't think this need explaining here but it's worth mentioning. Sudden onset pain, sometimes makes you feel a bit sick. Hurts worse than anything else you've ever felt. Yup that's stress. The chronic pain - sometimes if a part of your body is in pain for a long time the pain nerves there forget to turn off. Even after the pain should stop they just keep yelling pain. (I could go on In more detail about the 3 types of chronic pain but I won't bore you). The "this is nothing to do with your disease pain" because sometimes we get sick, or break a bone, or sprain an ankle. We're only human. I think I will stop here for today. I don't want to worry people. Let me know if this stuff is helpful. And feel free to ask questions

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I was just talking to someone about an article they wrote, which reminded me of the quote: “And then he greeted Death as an old friend, and went with him gladly, and, as equals, they departed this life.” -JK Rowling Now, I’ve kinda (and when I say kinda you can never really fully accept this) accepted that RA can kill you or take a substantial amount of years off of your life: either way let’s face it— this battle is a never ending battle that can never be won. You can keep running running and running away from the end your whole life but in the end RA has you. You die with it and lots of times die from it. No it’s not terminal. Terminal you’re given a number, a length of time you have left on this beautiful earth. Doesn’t mean that when something isn’t terminal it’s not deadly. Diseases like RA, lupus, schlerdoma (those cases that aren’t terminal because I know some are) and other Autoimmune diseases are not warned when our time is up its spontaneous, unfortunately it’s the kid behind the door ready to scare its sibling. Due to this, I’ve decided that whenever I pass, whether it be in a few months (oh please dear god I hope not) or 50 years down the line, I want that quote (but changed to fit my gender) on my tombstone. Why you ask? Because, my take on it says that this person lives their life to the best of their ability, helped when they could, made people laugh, saved a few lost souls, helped people understand certain things and made a wonderful memory of themselves. That is why I run this blog as well as my blogs on Facebook: Living Life Chronically Beautiful, Hearts For The Bullied and Friends for Autism Support and Awareness because that’s my goal.💕 so thank you for supporting me and my pages 💕

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Do me a favor okay? Stop trying to go back to who you were before. Before you were raped, before you got sick before an eating disorder took over your life. stop trying to be who you were five, ten, twenty years ago. Before the mental illness took over, before he died, back before your parents split or you lost your best friend.

You are NOT the same person as before. You never will be again. Give up the idolization of “before” and be who you are now. Be the you AFTER.

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There is no perfection only those who try their best

When I was six months old I fell sick with both a virus and a parasite. My immune system rolled up its sleeves and fought those bad guys to protect me, to keep me alive and well. 30 years later and it is still fighting. Tearing my body apart in search of a parasite that my doctors say is long gone. My body is a battle field, under siege from an army that only wants to protect me. A civil war that has destroyed my joints, my eyes, my lungs, muscles, skin, and my red blood cells. I know the punchline to this joke. A stroke or perhaps a heart attack is the most common cause of death for those of us with autoimmune conditions. But what hurts me the most is not the pain, the fatigue or the joint deformity. It's not the stares of others or the frustration when I can't open a bottle of water. It is the chemotherapy that I force into my veins every week. The knowledge that I am killing my own immune system when all it has ever done is try to help. They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions and my body had the best - to protect me from harm. I do not hate my body, or my immune system. This JIA is not a disease - it is me. My body. And how could hating myself ever help. I trust my body more that I trust any doctor. Perhaps one day they will find that there is a parasite in me. Perhaps my immune system was right all along. Even if it is not. It is just trying to help. And I love it for that. I love my body, broken and shattered as it is. Nothing and no-one else has loved me so much, fought for me so hard and so long. It is not perfect but it tries. I try my hardest to live my life in the same way. I am not perfect but I try. Life is not perfect. But we can try. The world is beautiful not because it is perfect but because it is full of creatures that have tried their best day in and day out.

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Body acceptance is often more complex than just “loving your body.” It’s become really easy for healthy people (especially “body positive” feminists) to say “Love your body!” and leave it at that, but as anyone with a chronic illness will tell you, it can be downright difficult to love a body that makes you sick or actively causes you pain. Loving your body is a great goal, and while it’s great to see more women striving for it, such rhetoric often leaves people—and women—with disabilities, chronic illnesses and pain out because our bodies are already portrayed as not “normal” or beautiful enough to be worth loving, or even accepting! Loving your body on days when it confines you to bed seems counter-intuitive, and for some folks with chronic pain, it’s just not going to happen. By contrast, body acceptance can be a process of meeting your body where it is, and striving to be okay with a chronically ill body—even on bad days.

Anna Hamilton, “Six Things I’ve Learned From Dealing with Chronic Pain”  (via healmycrocodileskin)