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I don't really remember loving you though I recall this moment where I cried so hard over a Jason Mraz song. It was I wont give up playing on the radio, I was riding shotgun of my bestfriend's car, exhausted and drained from watching an ultimate frisbee league. I remember hearing the song and closing my eyes pretending to sleep but really I was savoring each lyrics because if ever I'd dedicate a song for you, it'll be this. I remember crying to it on the way home, I was so lost looking for "us" and what we really are, I feel like searching for something knowing I wont find anything, I wanted to quit it, it hurt so much I thought my heart is going to burst out of pain, but as the song played I heard the words "God knows we're worth it... im still looking up" ~ and that was it, like a soldier I fought, for you, for us, I fought even if I was blindfolded, and it was funny because I thought you'll be fighting next to me, but I was surprised because you're the enemy; you sent me to war without any gun and in the end you won.
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7.5.15 - journal There goes another sinking feeling.
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