nottherealajhq

[nottherealajhq]

Where there's an invasive species, there's trophy hunters! Thank Bigfoot that birds fucking suck ass and no one likes them, AMIRITE? :)

[nottherealajhq]

War is hell, Jammers.

[nottherealajhq]

War is hell, Jammers.

[nottherealajhq]

thjis isi me in Graham Sweatshop lol!

ofcoursewhen i say sweaty i mean i am sweaty i'm sweating from graham in the presenc of him i'm.

[nottherealajhq]

7-11 day is today you are being unpatriotic you fucker

happy 7/11, “the day god left”

[nottherealajhq]

Eric Gun AJHQ Goes to Therapy (Chapter 1)

The car pulled up in front of a big white building and Eric gulped in nervousness. They’d been talking about therapy for a few months now, but actually being here was different. What would they ask him? Would the therapist make him talk about his past? About his father? About his ex? What about the cocaine? 

“I don’t know if this is such a good idea” Eric finally said nervously.

“Hey,” Wyatt put a comforting hand on Eric’s shoulder “It’ll be okay, I promise.” 

Eric sighed. He couldn’t let down Wyatt. Wyatt stood by him through everything, made him want to be better, he was his guiding star. Wyatt was the man that he loved, although he couldn’t let him know. He still didn’t even know if Wyatt looked at men that way, or what he’d do if he found out Eric looked at him that way. What if he was ostracized from AJHQ when they found out?

He was snapped out of his thoughts by Wyatt handing him a paper bag. “Here, it’s.. A blueberry croissant, I made it for you.” Wyatt blushed, slightly embarrassed of his pastry. Eric held the bag gently, someone actually made something for him?

Wyatt coughed “Anyways, the therapist is probably waiting for you inside”

Phew okay break time

I should go put on my risotto, goddamn fifth risotto attempt in a row. This place is wearing me to both of my bones. Let me check my emails first. Christ not fucking Donovan asking for his guitar back again. God I hate that guy. He doesn’t understand why I even took the guitar from him, he’s definitely not getting it back within my lifetime. 

Is that someone at the door? Man do they really have to knock that loud, like I get it. God I bet it's Donovan.

Oh. It’s nobody. Huh, guess it was just the wind. 

Risotto time!

Stirring.

Stirring. 

Has the house always been this bright? Oh there’s a light on. Who turned on the lights?

StirrinFUCK FUCK FUCK RISOTTO IN MY GODDAMN EYES FUCK FUCK 

DID THE STOVE JUST EXPLODE? 

How did the house catch fire so quick???

I can’t feel my hand, oh god, oh fuck, my fucking risotto, it’s everywhere. Oh god, I can’t breathe.

Who is that? Donovan? 

I can’t breathe anymore, I can barely see. The whole house is engulfed in flames. Please help me Donovan, I didn’t mean it, please help me, please please. I can’t die like this, you don’t want me to die like this. Please. 

“Donovan isn’t here, Jammer.” 

[nottherealajhq]

i miss you

guhhhhhhhh.... hwuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....

huh... huff...hfff.. who... who's there.... where... what...

.what the fuck happened last night

[nottherealajhq]

drinking water from a mirage after spending hours withering away in the desert dry heat, not a droplet or driplet of water in sight, would taste sooooooo good. my greatest perversion manifests in dehydrating myself and dragging my near lifeless body around the valley of ash with my clothes ragged and ripped to pieces but it doesn't come close to the tantalizing visions of such a fantasy and i pass out and wake up to my dead skin being violently exfoliated off my body by the Ashland Scrubber like i'm a dirty nasty Dishboy left in rotten ketchup for 7 straight days also known as one week. Barenaked Ladies?!?! SIGN ME UP!!!

[nottherealajhq]

dudeee look at what they're feeding me tomorrow as a little treat! i'm so excited

[nottherealajhq]

my mannish features have grown so far past the capabilities of the cookie monster onesie as it warps around my body like a makeshift codpiece and i sit my bare body on the docks under the moonlight as mosquitos bite at my legs (scuplted) and i think to myself I don't even like cookies that much anymore. I don't even go to the bakery and my legs lift up and allow me to float over in a joyous whimsy to indulge in the delights of baked goods anymore. My mouth does not water at the fresh delight of a freshly constructed cookie snack. Am I damned to a life of endless hallways with no clear purpose? Is this the first signs of eternal suffering shuffling within the walls? Can I even get a bite to eat. I live in new yok city and they all say "i'm walking here!

[nottherealajhq]

your account is really scary to me thank you for your service

Will you let me take care of you when you're sick in bed i've tightened my fleece made of straw and covered up all my most garish raw slushy sloppy openings to make sure none of me leaks right into your screaming open mouth when you've gotten the cased of the scared. Please let me come to the bed you are resting in and i will crawl right under it in a nice circle andi won't leak any of me even though i'm oozing and my skin is rough like breaking out into a violent rash but how would you know that if you haven't already laid your fingers upon me? i've got the that goop. i've got that slime. worm body is worth one dime

[nottherealajhq]

Sensual Off Screen Secrets... A Tenna x Addispam LoveStory

Tenna can barely contain his excitement, quivering in his seat in the bright flashing bleen of the bleen room. Shiver me timbers he thinks. Spamton is ifnally going to tell the big thing that's going on. It's finally going to be the time i learn what the big thing is going on. Tenna shakes in the seat and bounces up and down when he thinks about that slutty nematode body when the way he slides and shambles around. And then tenna heres a noise down the hallway the cold one one that you find from the door of the other side. Could it be he thinks. my little microscope coming here to examine me and bring me all sorts of amoeba to get my Hands on? he jumps out of his seat bounces like a rabbit in a hat to his doorhandle to see out the hallway to see his special french fry and its

Hi there! Do you see me? I see you. I'm so happy you joined me here. It's really sad what happened here. Do you think it's sad what happened? I keep finding my slivering through each hole made of tainted tinted wires aching with stains of the scorched sun, and it makes me think how it must've felt, to be here. Do you ever close your eyes and feel it? I like to imagine my fingers as long so I can fiddle them around in all the framework and it reminds me of whalefall drawn up to shore by happenstance, I dance each one of my limbs around its wire cnostructed ribcage and I find myself think oh, how it must be, to unravel! I love a pile. Do you love a pile. Is it hard to wrap your head around. I can wrap my head around anything. I can wrap my hand around anything. I can feel you. I can knock on the wood being laid in the ground under layer of layer of suffocating dirt filled with maggots and minerals densely packed in an inescapable prison. Metal poles making up landfill, metal poles sparking flames in the sky, a second "Star" they're calling it. Does this make you happy? I wish I was your dentist! I want to take one gloved hand and bring it to your teeth, and see the way your throat dances into making a brand new death for me take up my tootsies and defile from up to my very fingertips. You can see the lines anywhere you look. Squint. Red circle making it obvious, Red arrow telling you exactly where to look. Do you see me? I see you.

[nottherealajhq]

mood board

[nottherealajhq]

footage

[nottherealajhq]

analog horor ^ real! this is analog horror, in 2025. This! Analog. "Horror"

[nottherealajhq]

YOU CAN JUST FUCKING PISS ANYWHERE YOU WANT IN ANIMAL JAM IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER. TORILET THE SIZE OF YOUR WHOLE BODY. WHO EVEN GIVES A SHIT ANYMORE. CLEARLY NOT THE HEADQUARTERS. 50 DIAMONDS. ECONOMY IN SHAMBLES. NO ONE SINGS DROP POP CANDY PAPYRUS AND SANS COVER WITH ME WHEN I ASK THEM TO. I'M NEVER POSTING AGAIN.

[nottherealajhq]

HAHAHAHAHAsn't Anyones EVER heard of "Neighborhood Watch?" CLIMBED Right into the PALM and PALM and PALM of the WHITE VAN! Spraypainted on the SIDES in SICKENING HUES! BACKATITAGAIN! With the. Again and Again. BUT KNOW THAT IT IS AN HONEST NotACatNotAManBarelyAWorm, "Jammers". :) Nothing will happen, to the KNOCK-KNOCKED Out Cold! Unless it does.

...Unnatural, to EVADE the COUNTDOWN. When it strikes to the empty sheet. Unless it's by Her means, and Her means Solely, Solemn, Solace! But... My Angel knows best. My Angel will notice the efforts it takes, for Him, all for Him... Knows not what they DO, but what they DESERVE... You will have to wait and see, "Jammers", yes? Yes? Yes??? Of FULL COURSE MEAL!!!!!!!!!! SO HUNGRY IT COULD EAT A... a...

MHM,! Remembering these Only stays comatose in COMA FANTASYLAND for SO LONG, MOM!.... These UNFREEZING BODIES IN THE PIRATES RIDE. To say, to say.... For woes, it must goes! BUH-BYE, "JAMMERS!" C: