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notyourcliche-blog · 10 years ago

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We’re Going to Get It Together Somehow (Up and Up and Up)

“FUCK!”

She threw her phone on the bed and upended the contents of her bag, messily rummaging through it.

“Love?”

“Hindi ko mahanap yung sweat band ko.”

She said it with a watery sniffle, and he sighed, face scrunching up in concern as he touched her shoulder and she shrugged him away.

He sighed once more and wrapped her up in his arms and though she tried to pull him away there was no force in her motions and she eventually sagged against him, turning around to hug him too and bury her face in his neck.

“It’s not fair. I didn’t want to do it. They made me. It was my personal account. My personal life. I… It’s unfair.”

She wailed against his neck, the combination of PMS, overwork from having to reshoot so many scenes, countless photoshoots and…. hiding their relationship was finally taking a toll.

Being made to quell the uprising of the intelligent viewers they agree with on Instagram, and having their sudden radio silence which lead Nadine to think they hate her now all came out in the stress of her tears.

“It’s unfair. Ayaw ko na ata James.”

“I know love.”

“Pagod na ako.”

“I know.”

“Umalis na tayo.”

He pulled back and saw her swollen, tired eyes and he sighed once more. What more could he say?

His own girlfriend can’t even hold his hand in public without it causing a public spectacle.

He wiped her tears away and pressed his lips to her forehead.

“Where would we go?”

“Anywhere but here.”

And he was chilled with the conviction in her tone.

—

“Are you sure about this, Nadine?”

“Yes.”

“If you get it, and I don’t you have to feed me.”

“Same goes.”

“We’re really doing this my love?”

They were standing in a casting agency that her aunt got for the both of them. It was a small film, just an Indie film, but it was something, and it was Hollywood and how many people got to act in Hollywood on their first try?

“We have to get out of there love. Before they eat us alive.”

No one knew they were here.

They told their managers they just wanted to go around LA. They didn’t tell Yassi, or Andre or Bret. It was only his dad, her parents and Tita Nona who knew they were even auditioning.

“When we walk through those doors we’re meeting Wes Anderson.”

“Yes. We are.”

“We’re really doing this?”

“James!”

“Okay, okay, just let it sink in for me.”

He whooshed out a breath and gripped her hand.

“We’re meeting Wes Anderson.”

“Yes!”

She giggled and pressed her lips to his, because they were in America, they were free and in love and they had a future ahead of them.

She took his hand again and tugged him forward. It didn’t occur to her that she was so brave to do this because he was here, with her, and with him she can do anything.

—

“You guys are really something else. You’re even in sync in making dinner! I cannot believe this.”

Saoirse’s lilting accent was still music to her ears as she set a plate of aperitif in front of her, at the same time handing James the corkscrew to open the bottle of Chianti they got, and James handed her the oven mitts to get the chicken out of the oven.

The last three months had been a whirlwind.

Wes loved the both of them so much in auditions that he got them for the role on the spot. They were playing a young couple who had dreams of being dancers in Broadway, living next door to Saoirse, a reclusive Broadway star who chose to retire from her career after the fame and fortune made her a cynic.

Nadine’s character then falls pregnant and Saoirse will agree to watch over her as James’ character tries to juggle being a waiter and auditioning for Broadway.

It was an interesting and convoluted story, typical of a Wes Anderson film, and they loved it. They loved every second of it.

For the first time, it was their acting chops that mattered. No one cared on set if he and Nadine were together. Everyone knew they were and accepted it.

He can hang out with Saoirse and no one would have a heart attack on Instagram (well, someone in the Philippines did, but he could hardly care less). He was halfway across the world and he and Nadine were living the life.

They had a small LA flat, just big enough for the both of them, with a bedroom, a living room, and floor to ceiling windows and real hardwood floors that smelled of lemon (courtesy of Nadine).

Their walls were papered by photos of them, the couch was a parking lot for their coats, which Nadine eventually hung up in her coats rack. And now they were here, cooking dinner for Saoirse and her beau.

Nadine bumped him with her hip and raised an eyebrow at him.

“Where were you love, we’ve been calling you for ages?”

He grinned at her, just still amazed that he can have someone as amazing and as brilliant and as precious as her in his life and he swooped down to kiss her, much to their guests’ amusement.

“I’ve been right here, waiting for you.”

Saoirse chose that moment to throw a grape at his head and he grinned at her.

“Shut up you, I know you’re convincing Naddie to name our first born after you, and the answer is no. I don’t want my kid teaching the teacher to pronounce it.”

“I’d have you know my name means freedom in Ireland!”

“Well, we’re not in Ireland aren’t we my little potato?”

“That’s culturally inappropriate and you know it!”

Nadine laughed and watched James and Saoirse battle it out over the great Potato Famine and how it was not as important as Australia’s cactus invasion.

She couldn’t believe that she was here, living in LA, with a man she loved, in a job she loved, and… just free of everything.

The expectation, the being someone she’s not, the constant invasion of her privacy. In here… she was just an actress, with a job to do and at the end of the day… she can just be herself.

That was amazing to her. To be able to be herself.

To be able to be exactly who she is and be accepted for it.

To be able to love James and just be free with it.

Clarky boy yipped at her feet and Saoirse broke off from her argument with James, choosing instead to pet the little dog who came sniffing at her feet.

—

The movie was a hit and that they did not expect.

Walking down the red carpet in the Nokia theatre, with praise from all the reporters, asking them about their journey from the Philippines to here… was surreal.

James had an Oscar buzz for Best Supporting Actor.

She had a buzz for Best Supporting Actress. It was unheard of, in the first time they acted, and they know they probably wouldn’t win, heck they were sure they weren’t going to be nominated - but to have a buzz? To even have the possibility of being nominated, was something else.

“Nadine, how does it feel, that Jadine is being called the next Brangelina?”

She was brought out of her reverie when Josh Horowitz called her over and her eyes widened, seeking out James who shared her same startled expression and they both laughed.

“We love Brangelina. Mr. and Mrs. Smith has always been our dream roles and… to even be mentioned in the same sentence as them is… wow.” Nadine murmured as her hands sought out James’ who squeezed it and grinned at her. They were Brangelina. Imagine that.

Josh grinned at them, appreciating why the fans seem to be so in love with them. There was an innocence here, a sweetness, and a raw potent talent that can go places and he knew… he really was looking at the next Brangelina.

To be continued?

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notyourcliche-blog · 10 years ago

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What is solid writing? This is. Solid characters, backstories, lines....damn. Never knew I’d like “Rita Skeeter”’s writing after what he did to Potter! hahaahaha

The Shape of Us (2/?) - All I Never Knew Was Growing Up In My Backyard

“Pau, okay ka lang?”

He’s been staring at them for the past few hours trying to figure out… how a girl like her could change an entire man.

James had been his friend for the longest time. They’ve woken up beside each other covered in vomit. They’ve been to one too many debauched nights. They were young, they were living the high life, until… he stopped.

They met in the Cosmo fashion week, and he admired the way he stood up after he fell. They’ve been friends ever since.

So… he’s wondering, how that man with the balls to continue his performance after falling off the stage would be reduced to… this sappy creature.

He was broken out of his reverie when Nadine let out a high pitched squeal. “Umayos ka, umayos ka! James!” She was laughing because James was trying to lick her, once again, after she licked her hand and swiped it over his lips.

James made the mistake of inching his finger close to Nadine who retaliated by licking said finger.

“Ugh, Naddie you’re disgusting!” And he pounced on her, trying to tickle her to death.

“Masasanay ka din diyan.” He looked away from James and Nadine to Bianca who sat beside him and casually took a photo of James and Nadine frolicking. “Nakakainis sila ano. Nakakakilig kahit papanoorin mo lang. Kawawa ka sa States. Wala ng pansinan kapag magkasama na sila.”

She scrolled upwards in her Photos and he saw, with some amusement that there were various photos of James and Nadine in various states of frolicking.

“Nakakagulat lang kasi parang… yung James noon, masusuka sa ginagawa niya ngayon eh.”

Bianca looked at him with a pinched look on her face.

“Bakit naman, cute nga siya eh. Silang dalawa. Pareho silang caring sa isa’t isa.”

“Yun nga eh… dati kasi masaya siya pag party, ngayon, tignan mo… sa ganiyan na masaya. Sappy. Cheesy. Puro kulit kay Nadine.”

Bianca looked over to James and Nadine who ceased trying to lick each other in favor of wrapping their arms around each other. James had a pretend, cutesy pissed of look on his face and Nadine inched her face up to his, mocking his pissiness.

“Nakakainggit nga eh.”

He turned over to her again and watched with confusion as she smiled at James and Nadine, who were stuck in their own little bubble.

“Bakit?”

“Sila… nahanap na nila yung true love nila. Walang effort, bigla na lang dumating, hindi naman nila hinihingi. Tapos… ako, tayo, ang hirap diba? Sa dinami ng tao sa mundo, ang hirap pa rin talaga hanapin yung true love mo.”

He mulled on Bianca’s words as he watched Nadine giggle at something James said and inched forward to slap his arm lightly.

“Tingin mo true love na yan? Hindi ba honeymoon phase lang?”

She turned the same pinched look she had on her face to him and snorted.

“Tignan mo nga yan, sa gitna ng set, ang dami daming tao, pero silang dalawa, walang ibang nakikita. Si James, oh. Tingin mo ba kung hindi niya talaga love si Nadine magiging ganiyan yan? Mabait, maalaga, hindi na nga nagpaparty, bukang bibig pa ‘where’s Nadine?’. Si Nadine… well… simula pa lang naman siya na talaga yung may feelings diba? Maalaga, yun nga lang… medyo may pagkaselosa.”

He looked back at Nadine who was now leaning her head against James’ shoulder as Direk talked to them.

“Talaga? Kahit sayo?”

Bianca shook her head and picked up her phone again.

“Sakin hindi, alam niya kasi may guy na ako. Pero yung isa naming guest star before… yung girl na kunwari may gusto kay Nico? Sobrang nagalit siya doon. Pano kasi, pumasok sa tent ni James habang tulog si James tapos ayun, nagattempt na mag-picture katabi si James. Eh nagising, tapos ayun, buti na lang nakalabas siya. Nagtatake si Naddie noon eh. Nung narinig niya talaga yung nangyari talagang sinugod niya yung girl. Pinigil na nga lang ni James para di na niya sampalin kasi, issue pa diba? Mabait naman siya… pero talaga kapag si James yung kinawawa mo, lagot ka sa kaniya. Medyo possessive siya eh.”

He smirked as Nadine got a towel from her RM and wiped James’ face with it.

“And okay lang kay Jaye?”

“Oo naman. Siya pa ba magrereklamo eh ganun din naman siya.”

He kept on staring at them frolick on set. It was nice. He thought. To still have some people love like that, genuinely.

—

“Love remove it! No! It might explode on your face.”

“But it’s not yet flaring up.”

“Just wait for it, it’s on fire already!”

“But it’s not yet flaring up!”

“Just wait!”

He hooked her arm around her, effectively trapping her in his arms and well, her hands were playing handsy with his over the sparkle firework they were holding. He shook his head. It’s amazing. Really.

When the sparkler finally ignited it shed a light over their faces, making their smiles brighter and their eyes just a little bit more starry. He turned to her, and by some sixth sense she turned to him as well. It was quick, like they habitually sought out each other and basked in the glow, then they smiled, flitting, like the touch of a butterfly on the backs of your hand, then they turned back to the sparkler and watched it glow.

When the glow of the sparkler died, the light they emitted took over. He caught her in a hug, and she buried her nose in his shoulder and they just stood there… just holding each other. Speaking no words but saying everything that matters.

Later, when they were eating dinner, they had two plates, but it was only Nadine who was actively eating anything. “Anong gusto mo?” She asked James while she ate a bite of something with her fingers.

James pointed at the bag of chips and she fished a chip out and held it to his mouth.

He bit the entire thing… including part of her fingers. She growled at him and slapped his bicep, but she simply wiped her fingers with her shirt, grabbed a chip with the same fingers and popped it into her mouth as well.

He was nauseated by their unsanitary display but there was a part of him that… was touched by it.

And there was a pang, in his heart.

He touched a hand to the ache and stared at the both of them once more.

—

“Are you okay? Do you need your inhaler?”

“Naddie, it was just a simple game. I’m not even that tired.”

She cupped his face with her hands and rubbed her forehead against his in a gesture of gigil.

“Pawis na pawis ka, oh. Ate Ross hindi pa ba pwede magbihis, magkakasakit to.”

The assistant director who was giving Paulo instructions for the next sequence rolled her eyes. “Hindi pa ateng, may isang take pa tayo.”

“Ate Ca? Pakuha naman ako towel oh. Wipe your sweat!”

James grinned at her and raised his armpit to her face and tried to bury her in it. She squealed pushing his arm away with one hand, but her other hand latched on to his neck.

“Sanay ka na ba?”

He blinked, looking away from them and focusing back on Ate Ross.

“Hmm?”

“Sa dalawa. Akala mo walang tao kung magharutan. Also ingat ka sa laro ha. Make sure hindi mo masasaktan si James, I can assure you, magwawala yan si Naddie. Daig pa niya asawa basta si James ang pinaguusapan.”

The bitterness of her words was rendered useless by the small smile she was fighting to stop.

“Natatawa ka Ate eh.”

She looked up from the script, sighing and then grinning widely at Paulo. “Ano magagawa ko… cute eh. Oh, on the set na, next sequence tayo.”

He stood up from his perch and noticed Nadine wiping James’ sweat with a towel.

“Ready on the set please.”

James lightly moved the towel Nadine was wiping him with away from him and wrapped an arm around her. She leaned into him, raising her face up to his which caused him to smile and press a kiss to her forehead.

She tapped his abdomen, grinning at him and pushing him to go to the court.

He mumbled something to her ear, causing her to laugh out loud, stretch out on her tip toes and hug him really tight.

He smiled. He couldn’t help it. Ate Ross was right. They were cute. They reminded him of himself and…

The smile faded from his face, and he turned away from the both of them, wondering why there was a pang in his chest once more.

—

“Love can I please have the soda, I’m thirsty.”

He said nothing and merely kept the bottle stuck on his lip, twisting it from side to side.

“Love…”

James removed the bottle from his lips and grinned at her. Wolfishly. Like he can eat her alive.

“Kiss mo muna ako.” He murmured tapping Nadine with his free hand and she smiled, before trying to force the smile into a frown and staring him down. But he can still see the glee in her eyes and the love… the warmth.

“Love… hindi nga pwede.”

“Then no soda for you.”

And James lifted the bottle to his lips again, swinging it side to side and Nadine slapped his arm in exasperation… and also because she found her boyfriend really really adorable.

“Kainis to. Kuya Glenn pahingi na nga lang ako.”

Paulo laughed when James took her arm, tugged her and gave her the bottle with a cheeky grin.

He didn’t understand why they had to share everything, from a plate of food, to earphones, to their actual phones and that drone. To even the most menial details in their lives. Everything. They shared every single thing.

Even when they need to poop.

Okay… so he was sitting on that wooden bench beside James, who just had to squeeze his way in between him and Nadine. And he turned to Nadine and said, as if no one else can hear him - “I really need to poop.”

Nadine laughed so loudly he can almost see her tonsils and she slapped James’ arm. “Yuck, go poop.”

“I can’t. You know my butt can’t go in a foreign toilet.”

“We stay in hotels all the time!”

“Doesn’t count. Your hotel room is a home away from home.”

“James, if you poop your pants I am not driving you home.”

“Yes you will. You love me.”

She scrunched her nose and grinned helplessly at him, reaching over to tweak his nose with her fingers.

“Okay I will because I love you. But! I will make you take your pants off.”

“You just want to see me naked. Wait until we’re in private, woman geez.”

She laughed at his poor joke and they spent the next hour just doing that. Pissing each other off and making it seem like they were alone in the world.

He can’t remember the last time he had a conversation like that… the kind that never ended… unless…

He shook his head. It was useless, to think about such things.

—

“Love what do you think, this one or this one?”

He smirked as James positioned himself in between Nadine and himself and manoeuvred so that his back was facing Paulo and he can freely talk to Nadine.

He was sort of getting used to the possessiveness, that was very different from jealousy.

A jealous girlfriend means you don’t trust your partner.

A possessive girlfriend? She trusts you… she just doesn’t trust the people around you. That was another thing that was very new for him. They trusted each other so much that when other people are involved they immediately think that it’s going to be the other person who caused the hurt.

Take for instance this afternoon… he was just talking to Nadine casually about his shoe when James approached them, quickly wrapping an arm around Nadine and twirling her hair in his fingers.

And then the cheerleaders came in their slinky outfits and Nadine quickly grabbed the back of James’ shirt and wrapped her arms around him.

She never let go, after that. And now, here they were, still doing that thing…

“Brad. Okay ka lang?”

Nico approached him and handed him a bottle of soda which he politely accepted.

“Ganiyan ba talaga sila? Sariling mundo?”

Nico looked over at James and Nadine and smiled widely.

“Oo, pero ayos lang. Nakakatuwa kasi panoorin diba?”

“And… possessive ba talaga sila?”

Nico nodded his head vehemently. “Sobra. Sobra sobra. Si Naddie pasimple yan. Yung bago kasi sila umalis, nagfilm kami… yung bridal shower niya ba, eh di siyempre si Jaye nakahubad na halos sa set. Nako. Pinagpantasyahan ng mga kasama namin. Eh may bagong intern noon, sobrang lakas talaga ng dating, kulang na lang hawakan na si Jaye. Medyo nainis tong si Naddie alam mo ginawa? Walang pang taas si Jaye ha, umupo sa lap. Yumakap. Baka daw kasi lamigin si Jaye, siya na muna yung shirt. Tapos kinumutan pa. Ayun… atras yung intern. Si Jaye naman… kita mo naman ginagawa niya sa’yo diba. Hindi ka nga makalapit ng 3 feet kay Nadine eh. Pero hindi sila nagaaway. Ikaw ang aawayin nila.”

He looked over at the both of them again.

“This one’s better. Just post the white one first like a teaser.”

“You’re such a tease.”

“Hoy, ikaw ha.” She reached over and wrung his ear lightly and he reached out to flick her lips. They both shoved each other away before stopping and leaning their heads close again.

“I’m just kidding love. So white one first? Or blue? I like blue.”

“Trust me… white’s better.”

“Fine, you’re the boss of me.”

“Damn right I am. Oh, inom.”

He kept his eyes glued on his phone as he sipped from the cup Nadine held out to him. Nico patted him on the shoulder. “Kung ako sa’yo maging best friends na kayo ni Direk. Kawawa ka sa America, promise ko yan.”

—

“Are you okay?” She asked James as she brushed the hair away from his face and he grumbled at her but nevertheless let him touch the hair.

He asked to be seated far far far away from them because really, he couldn’t bear the cloying sweetness for 14 hours. Not when it raised turmoil in his mind and well… made him wish for things that were impossible.

He wondered, why by some luck, he had to be seated behind them. Behind them, because someone needed equipment from someone and blah blah blah which ended up with him seated behind them.

James turned over to face her and with a sigh laid his head on her shoulder.

“I hate long flights. I get so bored.”

She pressed a kiss to his forehead and patted his cheek. “Go to sleep. You’ll feel better.”

“M’kay. Love you.”

She turned her head to him again and he can see a trace of a smile on her lips and she rested her cheek on top of his head. “Love you.”

She spent the remainder of the flight just leafing through her thick magazine when the food came rolling in. She signalled a quiet to the stewardess and simply had them move away. She then resumed resting her head on his. He barely even woke from the interaction.

That was when he realized this wasn’t new to them. Countless plane flights together and they have this.. routine patted down.

He watched as she slowly fell asleep on top of his head… watched when he woke and he carefully prodded Nadine to wake up for a while as he straightened and then he tugged her still sleepy head to his shoulder and tucked a blanket tight around her.

When she woke up James called for a stewardess and got them both food. And they started chatting, and chatting… even though they were both supposed to watch this noir film James had prepared, they chatted through the entire thing.

He sighed and turned up the volume in his iPod hoping to drown away the sound of their laughter, and with it, the image they formed in his mind. Of a couple, who loved each other, and will last forever.

The image left a bad taste in his mouth.

—

“Awww… we’re almost there love.”

He murmured as he rubbed her arm quickly and she groggily leaned her head against him. “Tulog na tayo.” She was elongating her vowels and she refused to remove her head from James even when Ate Ross was prodding them already.

“Kids focus na… last sequence na tapos rest tayo until tomorrow.”

She reluctantly lifted her head away from James and they started to take the scene.

He made a lot of mistakes… forgetting his line, messing up the line or a mixture of both. In all times, Nadine made the effort of slapping him on some part of his body and then hugging him.

When the scene ended and Direk Tonette called for a pack up she let out a huge yawn and hugged James from behind. He smiled and then bent down so she could climb his back.

“Caryl I’ll take her to her room.”

“Hoy, hoy, kuya, bawal matulog doon ha, lagot tayo kay Mommy, nahuli na kayo last time.”

James was nodding his head, but the grin on his face assured Paulo that he was sleeping nowhere other than with Nadine in her bed. Caryl shook his head and followed them out to make sure James will leave Nadine’s room.

“Hindi ba kayo napapagod sa kanila.” He asked Direk, waiting for her to pack up so they can take the lift together.

“Kanino Pau?”

“Kay James and kay Nadine?”

Direk Tonette let out a guffaw and grabbed her overflowing bag of papers and motioned Paulo out the room. “Bakit naman ako mapapagod, magaling umarte, walang reklamo, pag may sinabi kang gawin, ginagawa. Okay na.”

“I mean… yung kulit nila. Diba, laging… magkayakap, laging… naglalaro. Hindi ka ba… I don’t know. Medyo awkward?”

Direk slapped Paulo’s shoulder as she stared dubiously at him.

“Nagseselos ka ba Pau?”

He sent her a look of exasperation and shook his head.

“Hindi ano ka ba. Naninibago lang ako na… may mga tao palang ganun.”

“Anong ganun?”

“Yung… may relationship sila pero… barkada sila. Yung tipong… the other day, bigla na lang sinabi ni James kay Nadine na, kailangan niya mag CR. Tapos… tawa sila ng tawa. Tapos si Nadine… daig pa asawa sa alaga. Lagi pang sinusubuan si James. I mean… hindi ka ba…”

Direk Tonette nodded her head and smiled at him widely.

“Pau… ang tawag diyan.. inggit. Okay lang yan, one day makikita mo din yung meant to be mo. Hindi nga lang kasing dali nung kanila kasi… wala na eh, Diyos na ang nagayos sa kanila, pero kapit lang… dadating yun.”

She waved good bye to him as the elevator stopped on her floor and Paulo stared at his shoes.

What if… his true love arrived… but he was stupid enough to let it go?

—

“Thank you Pau ha. May overnight taping lang talaga and ayaw ko naman iwan si Aki sa yaya niya.”

She handed him Aki’s overnight bag and bent down to their son who was looking intently at his shoes.

“Anak… mommy will be back tomorrow night. You’re going to have fun with daddy diba? You’re going skating? And daddy’s bringing you to his work. Diba you like Ate Nadine? She’s pretty diba?”

“Mommy I want to go with Tito Paolo.”

He felt his blood pump faster when his son mentioned… that man, and he saw her flush.

“Anak… you can’t stay with Tito Pao lang and diba, ang tagal niyo na hindi nag bonding ni daddy. Sige na Aki boy, hmm?”

She raised Aki’s chin and pressed a kiss to his mouth. His son grumbled but hugged her just the same.

“I love you.”

“Love you too mommy.”

She raised herself up and there was that awkward second where he didn’t know whether to kiss her, hug her or shake her hand.

He never really looked at her… after all those years. He remembered James… how his eyes were always glued to Nadine’s face and… somehow he began to see her again.

Her face was different, the planes of it, the lines, the stories. Her eyes were framed by her glasses… and they seemed, sadder… somehow.

He forgot just how much he loved her eyes.

And then she smiled, her snuggled tooth and her dimples winking out and it was like getting a punch to the gut, because… he was seeing her for the first time in a long time and nothing changed and yet everything was different.

In the end she, with all her warmth, dragged him into a short hug and he raised his arms and wrapped it around her… he forgot just how good this felt. How it felt to hold and be held and be… connected.

She broke away from him too quickly and there was a second where he wanted to hold her tighter but he shook himself out of it and let her go. She smiled at him, and kissed their son one more time before walking out of his house.

“Aki… anak. Ano gusto mo gawin today?”

His son picked up the small bag and dragged it all the way to his room and slammed the door.

—

“Cute ng anak mo Pau.”

He turned to his side to look at Nadine, who was busy filming his son, riding on James’ hoverboard with James holding him up.

“Cute anak ko… or cute yung boyfriend mo kasama yung anak ko.”

She smiled as Aki let out a yell of joy when James turned his hoverboard around 360 degrees and accelerated towards some unknown destination.

“Ikaw naman, siyempre si Aki. But… cute din kasi ang bilis nila nag bond ni James.”

Aki had been sullen the entire day. He didn’t speak at all to Paulo at all. So when they arrived on set, he grumpily sat on a chair beside James and clutched at his bear. He wouldn’t eat and he wouldn’t speak to him at all. When James woke up, he woke to find Aki staring at him and he simply smiled.

Saying nothing James took the food Nadine left out for him and took a bite. It was chicken and rice. Aki craned his head, looking at James’ food.

With a smirk, Paulo watched as James loaded a spoon with food and held it out to Aki. His son looked from the spoon to James and back to the spoon before he climb down from the chair and approached James, taking the bite from his spoon.

He eventually ended up sitting on the chair with James, eating and they still did not say anything. When the food was finished, James wiped his son’s face with his towel and still saying nothing… rummaged in his bag and brought out his hoverboard, laid it on the floor and held his hand out to Aki.

Aki smilingly took his hand and for the past hour they were rolling around set on the hoverboard. So many people already commented what a wonderful father James would make.

“Thankful nga ako sa kaniya eh. Lagot ako kay LJ… hindi pa kasi kumain since last night. Buti na lang… nakabonding niya si Jaye.”

“Magaling lang talaga sa kids yan. Siguro kasi siya din isip bata.”

He laughed at her barb, but still, he could see the glow in her eyes.

“Ang bata niyo pa. Ang daming risks, kapag nagaway kayo, or nagbreak kayo… why are you doing this?”

Nadine kept her eyes locked on James who got off the board and was now guiding Aki on his own. She could see the little boy was chattering to him now, smiling and laughing. Far from the sullen little boy that arrived on set.

“Love.”

“And that’s enough?”

Nadine turned to him and shrugged. “Hindi syempre. There’s trust. Malaki yun. There’s respect. We learned that the hard way. Pero I think… what really helps us is the friendship. We didn’t love each other immediately. Friends muna. We got to know each other, the good and the bad and we know… we won’t leave each other at the first sign of trouble. And… when I’m with James…”

“Ano?”

“I realize I’d rather be with him and be angry and miserable than be happy without him because well… I’d never be truly happy without him. And even when I’m angry and miserable, I’m still happier than I would be without him. Ang stupid no? Nung mommy ko din nagsabi nun about my dad… nainis din ako. But well… iba pala, kapag nakita mo na siya.”

“Sino?”

“Your true love.”

Her words, so simple and heart felt touched his heart and he thought of her again, and how it felt to hold her, and how it was like he was seeing her for the first time.

“Oi love, wag ganiyan baka malaglag si Aki!”

She bounded off to his son and her boyfriend and for a second he saw himself and LJ and Aki… just doing things like that… riding a hoverboard, twining their hands together while cheering Aki on as he hovered by himself and catching him when he fell and carrying him up in his arms.

—

“Sorry man, I think we wore him out.”

James whispered to him as he handed a sleeping Aki to him.

Aki clutched on to James with a grumble. “Hmm.. Tito James?”

“Aki.., bed time, Tito James has to go.”

Aki blinked sleepily and reached out to Paulo.

“Bye Tito. Thank you.” He murmured before burying his face in the crook of Paulo’s shoulder.

“Thank you pare ha. Medyo may tampo sakin yung anak ko. Buti na lang… nagbond kayo.”

James pressed a kiss to Aki’s forehead and held his hand.

“He’s a good kid. His mom raised him well.”

Paulo shifted his son and James clapped him on the back. “I’ll go ahead. I’ll visit my son today too.”

Paulo’s eyebrows went above his hairline.

“May anak ka na?”

James laughed sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head in that gesture of his when he’s nervous. “Oo… yung dog namin ni Nadine. Si Clarky.”

Paulo laughed at the absurdity of that statement and James patted him on the back again, making the move to go out of the tent.

“James?”

He turned back around and something in his eyes reminded Paulo of himself.

“If… magkababy kayo ni Nadine… what will you do?”

James approached him again silently and smiled fondly at Aki. “You were my age… when you had him.”

“Yeah.”

“You weren’t ready to give it up. It doesn’t make you a bad father. Or a bad person for that matter.”

“What-”

James smirked and sat down on a chair again. “You know what I mean. The party, having the best pick of girls, having enough money to tide you and your friends over. 23 man… it’s when life begins.”

“So… why did you give it up?”

“Age doesn’t tell when a person becomes ready Pau. It’s not even Nadine or LJ…” And James sent a sly look towards Paulo’s direction.

“We have to be ready. We have to decide it. No one can change us, but ourselves. When I met Naddie, I admit I did a lot of stupid things. I hurt her. A lot. And that was my impetus. I didn’t want to be the person who hurts the people he loves. So I decided I wanted to quit. Be a better man. Be a better me. The best version of me that there is. I like having fun, i like going out and parties aren’t the only way to do that. Besides, I realized… going out with Naddie to poetry bars is more fun than hooking up with a random girl in another random bar. I gave it up because I wanted to. Not for Naddie but for me. Because I wanted to be the guy who deserved her. Being 23 had nothing to do with it. We change when we want to, and I was just lucky that I wanted to do it now. You had to live a little bit more and that’s okay. It doesn’t make me better than you because I changed early. It’s just… I got luckier than you. So… that’s why I gave it up. At 23.”

Paulo said nothing, in the end merely nodding his head and smiling at James.

“Thank you for taking care of Aki.”

James nodded and stood up from the chair, walking to the exit.

“You know… if you love her, it’s better to risk it all than to always wonder what if.”

He wasn’t given the chance to answer him because Nadine barged into the tent and wrapped her arms around James.

“Love lika na, traffic na eh. Maiipit tayo.”

“Okay. Bye Pau… see you Thursday!”

Nadine turned to him and winked before dragging James out of the tent.

Wanting to be a better man he thought… huh.

—

“Mukhang enjoy naman si Aki. Natuwa kay James, nako, papabili ito ng hoverboard.”

“Gusto rin naman siya ni Jaye so… if libre siya… okay lang isama ko siya, para makalaro ulit sila.”

“Hmm.. okay naman, kahit every week date kayo. Ayaw ko din naman na lumaki si Aki na hindi kayo close.”

Paulo nodded his head, his tongue twisting itself this way and that. Come on man, this is your ex, the mother of your son, it should not be this hard.

“Sige Pau una na kami… may school pa siya bukas. Aki, say bye to your daddy.”

His son approached him sadly and raised his hands up to be lifted into a hug. “Miss you daddy.”

His son tightened his grip on his back and he closed his eyes. His son was trying not to be attached.. and he finally understood what the pain in his heart was. He once had what they, James and Nadine had. Love, built on trust and friendship and he threw it away because he wasn’t ready.

He wasn’t as brave as James… who changed himself for love.

He wasn’t as understanding as Nadine… who gave, without waiting for anything in return.

But having met them… he was inspired. He was ready. He was doing what it takes to get it back.

“LJ. If you want, Sunday bukas. Labas tayo? Let’s take Aki out. As a family.”

She opened her mouth to speak… but nothing came out. There was doubt in her eyes, he could see… but, this was not the time for fear.

“It’s just… as friends. It’s just trying to be better parents for Aki. Naguilty kasi ako, yung dalawang katrabaho ko mas naging close pa sa anak ko in 1 day… so, I just… want us to be like them. Friends.”

LJ stared at him for… a second, a minute, an eternity. Then she smiled. The one that shows her snuggle tooth and her dimples. Nothing changed. Everything was different. But he knew this time the change was for the good.

“I’d love too.”

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