ntandobam

[ntandobam]

2 Worlds Combine

FASHION KILLA

I like when two worlds on somewhat opposite ends are brought together just for the fun of it, in this case, Sports and Fashion. Personally taking two things from different and combining them is how some of my ideas come about when I'm creating. We've seen fashion brands on an international level using sports stars to model for them here and there, but I feel it's under utilized in a South African context. We have some of the world's forward thinking fashion houses and I think it's time they adopt this as well, it's a great way to bring in a crowd they probably would never reach at times. I also want to mention that I am in no ways the right person to speak on this (From a fashion point of view anyways).

This concept was first brought to my attention by footballer, Hector Bellerin, (This was Arsenal times, so you know I had to overlook a lot of things) when he walked for some fashion labels during his time in London. I need to acknowledge that he isn't the first footballer to do this though, there is footage of current Man City manager Pep Guardiola walking for El Boig de Can Fanga back in 1993. In recent years the number of footballers walking for brands has gone up, from Moise Kean, Eduardo Camavinga and Jules Kounde (Some would say the fashion leader in football right now). My recent favourite though that just happened from an unexpected sport, was seeing Marlon 'Chito' Vera walking in this passed Paris Fashion Week. This is a man that gets punched in the face for a living being Zoolander for a day (Don't you just love to see it).

What brought this thought about was a post about Springbok star winger, Makazole Mapimpi, made by Connect Everything Collective (Instagram page). In it they feature Mapimpi and all the fit pics he's posted over the years on his Instagram, and you know what, I am in total agreeance with them. Mapimpi's fashion choices came into my view a year or two ago (To mention I don't even follow the brother) when the Springboks were on tour in Australia and I stumbled on a post of his. Ever since then, from time to time, his posts pop up on my feed and for the most part he doesn't fail to deliver.

I just think considering the popularity of the Springboks from a national standpoint, probably the highest its been ever, and if you can argue it on an international stage, it would be worth having a look into. Another element that I've thought about is his background, which was brought up quite a bit back in 2019. Growing up in Mdantsane and not having the easiest of childhoods, having no parents or siblings left, to working himself into the position he's in right now (Having the ability to just have fun with what he wears), it could also be a source of inspiration for some kid in a similar situation he was once there if you want to take it there.

May the powers that be do the right thing.

[ntandobam]

Minimalism

JUST SOME HIPPY SHIT

Let's have a look at one of my weird outlooks on how I'd like to live my life. I've been thinking about this here and there, but a conversation with a friend has got me wanting to express it formally (If this is formal). Before I carry on, I'm starting to notice that I'm developing a pattern where I'm alternating between personal then non-personal topics, trust me I'm not doing it on purpose (Because that's not my purpose, God I wish I could put emojis on this thing). Minimalism was introduced to me at a time when I'd made an important decision in my life and the idea of it or my relationship with it has evolved as time has gone by.

The meaning of minimalism to me is living the philosophy that "less is more" and this doesn't just mean that you have to get rid of all that you own (hindsight is 20/20), but I think it's being aware of your consumption and what you keep around you. Personally this has been something I've tried to implement in my life, especially in today's time where it seems everywhere around us people are getting the latest thing constantly (Thanks to social media), and it's something that I'm still trying to figure out as I go. This doesn't only apply to objects, you can use it when creating; whether it be music, art, fashion, people, etc.

Taking it back to how I got myself going down this route. It was near the end of the year back in 2021 and a new housemate moved into the digs I was staying at. This brother though came with barely anything; just a plant, one pair of shoes, a couple of items of clothes and slept on the mattress on the floor. I'd never seen this and obviously thought it was strange, but the more we spoke the more I got it and wanted to try it out myself. Now this was when I'd finally made the decision to not return to university the next year and wanted to change my lifestyle considering I was going to stay at home for a while.

Obviously I wasn't going to go fully in like him, but I looked at the clothes in my wardrobe and got rid of I'd say 70% of it and looked to give it away (That was A LOT harder than I thought it would be). The next year I ended up wearing round about the same clothes daily until I got tired of it and changed my style somewhat, but I still keep the same fashion philosophy where it's like I have a uniform so to speak. I've also subconsciously tried to apply it to things I create and want to create in the future, I don't do too much.

In my opinion I think I've done a good job adhering to this philosophy so far, but it's been made easy because I haven't had an income that would supplement me in buying the things I truly want. This is something I wrestle with at times, knowing that once money starts flowing in the way I'd like it to, I might just abandon this way of thinking because I can get what I want now. This approach helps with clearing your mind and living a simplistic life, but I like nice things like everybody else. We'll see how I adapt it as I move up.

[ntandobam]

Industry Plants

WHY BOTHER

For today's post I wanted to touch on a topic that's been brought up quite a lot in recent years, especially with how music has changed in ways we consume compared to before. The word industry plant has morphed into meaning something else these days, where the word has even been 'memeified' by football fans when referring to certain players. This is sparked by an artist that caught my attention in 2024 and how they came about to be in the Billboard charts, Tommy Richman. I wanted to look further into what actually is an industry plant, from what it was originally intended to be and what it is today.

So basically the definition of what an industry plant is, is an artist that claims they have had organic growth without help from the music industry mostly from music labels (The majors and indies), but actually their growth is all from those exact factors and they've actually been lying the entire time. In actual fact though, it is very hard to reach any sense of global success and fame without any financial backing as you'll see with the two artists I'll be using as examples. I think there's just varying degrees of being an industry plant, stemming from your authenticity in your beginnings and your writing process.

I'm using Tommy Richman as an example because he's someone I've spent time looking into last year and he show how storytelling is very important in music influencing how you're perceived by people on the outside. Tommy Richman who had one of the biggest songs of the year last year, Million Dollar Baby. It was a tweet accusing him of being an industry plant that inspired this post actually. In my research Tommy started out in music a decade ago as a teenage and has been dropping music consistently since then gaining some buzz in the DMV area, but only slowly bubbling up there even releasing his debut album, Alligator, in 2022. We can says his ascent to global stardom was triggered when he signed to Brent Faiyaz's, who is from the same DMV area, ISO Supremacy imprint that is in partnership with Pulse Records, even featuring on Brent's most recent project, Larger Than Life. This type of structure allows an artist to have a access to a wider audience (AKA, me being a fan of Brent's music, which leads to me listening to someone he pushes in my eyeline and if I like his music, I'll want to explore more). The financial backing helps you spread in terms of social media as well, which is something that has become a strategy in today's music industry.

Social media today, especially Tik Tok, is a way for artists to 'blow up' their song or themselves just down to how easy something can catch on these apps and then it becomes viral. We can see this with Tommy's song, starting with him posting a snippet of the song as a teaser, which then sparks interest from his fans that follow him already, so that when the song is finally released there's already a buzz for the song and from there it snowballs thanks to it being shared. We've seen social media help many artists grow in recent years, thanks to one of their songs 'blowing up' like Doja Cat, Doechii, J.I.D, but the important thing to consider here is that these artists had been working on their craft long before any song 'blowing up'. This is an important factor, as we've seen artists that have been pushed down our throats by labels fade away after 'blowing up' because they can't keep it up afterwards and people lose interest.

I guess the industry plant claims made against artists are kind of redundant, because they all are in one way or another. It's funny because if you think about it, all artists in the history of music are industry plants, from your Jay-Z's to Britney Spears'. It's just whether you're talented enough to put out good music that people enjoy, which leads to you having staying power in the industry.

[ntandobam]

Butterflies

SUPERSTITION IS FUN

I love a good superstition to believe in like the fact that I'll avoid walking under any sign post or walking under anything really, it kind of adds spice to my skeptical mind, even though at the end of the day it's mind made. Another one of my favourite superstitions is when I see a butterfly I believe that good things are coming afterwards and I'll say every time I see one on my status. I think my butterfly appreciation probably came after an outing in Grade 2 to a place called Butterfly World. I searched it up some time back to see if I could visit now that I'm older, but it doesn't exist in it's previous form anymore, then just decided to do some additional research, as I do.

The first aspect is the idea that change is around the corner when a butterfly comes by you, which can be considered the butterfly affect. The butterfly affect really is more about how one small decision or encounter with someone can lead to a series of events that change the trajectory of your life, makes you consider the little choices you make in life and how they'll affect you in the future. In my research I found a video that adds some academics to what is an abstract idea, but I wont delve into it myself because I don't trust myself to present it properly, so here's a link to the video - https://youtu.be/fDek6cYijxI?si=hmzCsDQgD1vFZawu.

The second aspect is to do with the butterfly itself, the idea of transformation. Considering what a butterfly goes through for it to be what it is, I think it's the perfect animal to be a representative of this notion. Transformation of a person is something that I find beautiful, maybe because personally I know it's possible through my own actions over the past couple of years and how I've changed my mindset from someone I wasn't too proud of to someone that I can stand behind, even though I've still got some way to go. Transformation isn't an easy process, so when someone decides to take that journey I commend and I try to be as supportive as I can from my end. I do though have a tendency to support too much even when someone reneges on that progress, but that's just being human and we're allowed to stumble here and there. I personally feel that we should strive to be the better version of ourselves if need be.

With the start of a new year and all the possibilities that lay in front of us, I thought this would be fitting as the first topic of the year, GO FUCK SHIT UP.

[ntandobam]

Brutalism Architecture

Beauty In Boldness

I just wanted to preface that I started this in May and just never got around to finishing it, because I got a job and couldn't keep up with the posting every week and then left that job and ended up having a bit too much fun which was actually good for me I won't lie. Don't know why I just turned it into a journal, but we move. This is to end the year off properly, I don't know if I'm going to continue with this blog, in it's previous form anyways, but I like researching random shit so that won't stop.

In today's post I wanted to explore an architecture style called brutalism. I stumbled into this last year or the year before on an Instagram page that showed brutalist architecture in African country's and was hooked because I like to be different. I turned into a game for myself where I would try and spot brutalist buildings around the city and it was fun. This is more for me to learn it's history and just have a bit more context behind it, if anyone reading this finds it interesting, that's a nice bonus.

Brutalist buildings are usually blocky and heavy looking with a use of raw, exposed concrete or brick exteriors and they're usually monochromatic. The name isn't a reference to its brutal nature of how the buildings look, but a play on the French phrase for raw concrete, "beton brut." The need for brutalist buildings came about after the second World War where governments needed affordable public housing for its people starting in Britain then eventually spreading to the rest of the world. Well known brutalist architects include British architects Alison and Peter Smithson, Austrian Marcel Breuer and French-Swiss architect Le Corbusier.

Brutalism began to fade out in the 1980s when people got tired of them and how cold they felt, they also weren't being maintained so they just became eyesores for people. I think it was also wider issues like the end of the Cold War and people's feelings during that time and what those buildings represented.

The reason I think I personally was drawn to this style was because of how in your face it is and the buildings most often than not look unusual which intrigues me, you either like it or you don't. It also shows you how things have a shelf life not just for buildings but everything around us, our feelings change and the new shiny thing interests us next. Considering how things go I hope it plays some role in my life in the future.

[ntandobam]

Top 5 Late Night Hosts

Kings Of Late Night

Since a kid, from the moment I was allowed to stay up later anyways, I've always been interested by the art form of late night television. whether it be celebrity interviews or political satire shows, I like what they offer as a form of entertainment. Of course in this point in time late night television has kind of dwindled in popularity especially with the rise in podcasts and the recent pandemic also having a part to play in that as well. We see that people are into longer forms of conversations with podcasts that late night television really doesn't offer and there's a wider variety of guests to listen to rather than just having actors, musicians or politicians. Nonetheless I wanted to go through my favourite late night hosts over the years

1. The Graham Norton Show

I actually can't remember when exactly I started watching The Graham Norton Show, but it must've been around the early 2010's, at least I know it was before he had the beard. The show centres around celebrity interviews sat on one chair and they share antidotes of their career while obviously there to promote whatever movie, TV show, play, song or album they're apart of. I like it, yes because of the guests it has, but mostly for Graham Norton himself. The show has relaxed vibes to it, with guests being offered their choice of drinks, and conversation doesn't come off as an obligation that that specific celebrity has to do in order to promote whatever they're there to promote. Graham does a great job at creating a welcoming environment for everyone present. I mean even though I don't watch TV like I used, I still look forward to a new season of the show.

2. The Dick Cavett Show

The Dick Cavett Show is more because of the guests at the time since the show ran from 1968 to 1988 and those guests now are either dead or are just not part of popular culture anymore. I became aware of it during my Beatles phase because I wanted to watch interviews of them in their prime during the whole thing, then Dick Cavett interviews popped up after they broke up and I was just intrigued by how he handled the whole situation. More interviews would show up on my YouTube especially after I watched a movie made around that time and he would be interviewing an actor or director involved in it. It also feels different from other talk shows during that time with Dick's dry sense of humour adding to it as well. I've just been watching clips of the show, but it's managed to leave a lasting impression on me.

3. The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson

Another show I came to like through YouTube clips is the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson who is a Scottish comedian. I like how it's done differently from other late night shows at the time and leans towards more on the edgier side of things of late night TV, as much as something like this can be edgy anyways. He almost takes the piss at how these kind of shows are done and actually tries to have an actual conversation with the guest on his show. He also has a fun flirty element with the female guests on his show that doesn't come off as creepy and even the female guests play along with it. All in all he created a relaxed environment for guests to be themselves and that showed through the screen.

4. Last Week Tonight With John Oliver

Veering off from the previous shows, this one focuses on things that have happened during the week like the news but from a satirical point of view and they have one main topic they go in depth on. In fact after I finish writing this I'm going to watch one on executions that they've recently put out. It's hosted by John Oliver who is an English comedian, before being the host of this show was part of the Daily Show with Jon Stewart. The show really doesn't hold back on it's criticism of the American system and its faults, and not just American, other countries as well. John mixes humour with hard hitting realties we face in the world at the moment and times even challenges those put into positions of power. I like how you can have a laugh while learning something at the same time.

5. The Daily Show With Trevor Noah

Before Trevor Noah started hosting the show, I only watched it a handful of times here and there. Then news broke that he would be hosting it, I became an avid fan of the show, really watching it daily in the morning before going to school. Looking back at it, I don't know if one should be getting their current affairs updates from a satirical show, but I just so excited to have a South African hosting a show in America and wanted to support. It's also not like "proper" news outlets do a good job at keeping you interested in what they covering, so at least I was getting my information one way or another, he also had genuine conversations with his guests. I'd say though his comedy specials far surpass the show and eventually I lost interest in the show after leaving for university and the pandemic hitting I completely lost interest. I love what Trevor has done to Show South Africans how far they can take this entertainment thing if they want to.

Even though these kinds of shows aren't as popular as what they were when they started thanks to the variety of entertainment we have today, I feel like when done right they can be a joy to watch and a way for the host to gain mainstream recognition if that's their goal in entertainment.

[ntandobam]

Meditation

Observing Your Thoughts

I think this topic can be tricky to explain at times and I know from personal experience of not understanding it myself in the beginning, to trying to get my friends to start doing it. At this point in my life with meditation I've gone through different understandings of it and I know it'll continue to change. I've also noticed in the past couple of years the resurgence in Eastern philosophies, especially with mental health being people's focus these days, but I'll touch more on that later, For this part I wanted to go through my own journey with it, partly to recount to myself, and maybe you can find a reason to want to start your own journey.

My experiences with meditation started back in high school, but back then I just never got the grasp of it, I thought it would be something to try out and maybe it could help with calming down some way during exam season, really more during matric finals. All I could do at that time was download this app called 'Headspace' and try out the different meditations they had on offer. This ultimately didn't work out and I just stopped trying for a while. It wouldn't be until 2021 where it got reintroduced to me by a housemate I had. This was also a very unsure year for me in terms of what I wanted to do with my future. It was my third year in university and every year I had thoughts of dropping out, by the third year I'd completely stopped doing assignments and attending classes. So I thought maybe trying different methods of coping with life would help me figure something out and meditation was one of those. At first it felt like high school over again and I wasn't getting it, then I decided to do some research on it to see what I was possibly doing wrong. This is where I discovered that there were other ways of meditating.

At first I tried Transcendental Meditation (TM), where you use a mantra repeatedly while you meditate to kind of help you have something to focus on if your mind starts to wonder and you catch that, I went through some time of doing that and it would be hit or miss. I'd say my best moments of meditating have been while I was high and after every time it feels like you reach a new breakthrough with it and your understanding changes, but I try not to do that often, because then it feels like cheating to me and you aren't going through the motions honestly, so I try to keep those types of sessions to a minimum. In that first year I would switch between TM and a guided meditation done by Russell Brand and Deepak Chopra. As the years have gone by I change the guided meditations I listen to yearly and I now listen one done by Eckhart Tolle daily. My objective with it these days is just to have a moment of just observing my thoughts or a couple of minutes in a day, some days are good and my mind goes blank after a while and sometimes I'm just thinking the entire time. Our thoughts can be very controlling at times and it's good to just have some time to go through them and realize that you can control them. It's more about mindfulness and cultivating your ability of awareness. Something I've recently added to my meditations is breathwork. I do it in the beginning to help regulate my heart rate and calm me down in certain situations in normal day life.

Meditation in Pop Culture

Personally I feel like meditation started getting mainstream attention in the late 1960s with the hippy movement happening at that time. You also had heavy drug use with acid, weed, mescaline and a lot of Eastern philosophy being embraced by the wider audience. Celebrities of that time started embracing it as well most famously the Beatle's George Harrison. When you also introduce some scientific evidence behind something, people will start having more faith in it and take it up more thanks to health professionals integrating it into therapeutic methods. Pop culture is also dependent on what celebrities do in their lives as well. Celebrities have fans and those fans love doing what their favourite celebrity does, this has massively contributed to meditation being accepted by the wider audience. In recent times though I think another contributing factor is the mental health kick we're experiencing. People struggling with depression and various other mental illnesses are trying to find anything that can help them that isn't anti-depressant. For me this is all great, but people need to understand it's not a cure for what you're going through, it's a tool to help you cope.

[ntandobam]

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Love, Memories and Fate

Weirdly I'm struggling how to start this but I roughly know where I want to go with it. I've always seen pictures from scenes in this movie, but never really had the inkling to watch expect for maybe seeing Jim Carey do something else besides the comedy he's well known for like in The Truman Show and he didn't disappoint, Kate Winslet also does her thing as usual. Obviously as comes with one of these movie "reviews" there's going to be spoilers of it. The themes explored in this movie really touch home to myself in this point in time and I thought it would be nice to go through them.

Plot

We start by meeting Joel Barish on his way to work by catching the train, but as he's waiting for it to arrive he decides, last minute, to catch a train to Montauk on what looks like a whim. There he meets a woman that he's too afraid to approach and ends up not doing anything, until she approaches him on their way back home. We find out this woman is called Clementine Kruczynski, and she's very out going the opposite of what Joel is. They go back to her place and get to know each other, but Joel leaves later in the night. We cut to Joel trying to apologize to Clementine, but she doesn't remember him whatsoever and this leaves Joel confused and upset. We come to learn that Clementine went through a procedure that erased her memories of Joel after they're break up. After some time Joel decides to undergo the same procedure as some form of revenge and his memories of Clementine being too much for him to handle. While he goes through this procedure we go through it with him and see what their relationship was like, which at times was toxic and unhealthy. These are the memories he would gladly see go, but as he carries on we see the good memories as well and this makes Joel start to regret what he is doing to himself. This makes him change his mind in his mind and try to recover his memories of Clementine by hiding from the people doing the procedure on him. Unfortunately this only works for little while and the whole thing is finished in the next morning, but one thing happened before all his memories of Clementine were erased. In the last memory Clementine told Joel to meet her in Montauk. Meaning that the beginning was in fact not the beginning. I'll leave it at that, if that interests you I highly recommend giving it a watch.

Love

This one might get a bit personal just because I really like this topic and all the complications that comes with it especially at this age. To me I feel like love is a necessary part of the human experience amongst other things, but I feel it does kind of get warped because of the times we're living in with the internet and social media. We see or read things on social media and think that's how we all should be living and I'm also guilty of this myself, this adds to the complication of things when we really don't need to. Really it's between two people and whether they're willing to accept another person as who they are, but not just that, realizing themselves where they need to improve where they lack.

We see in the movie how Clementine and Joel deal with these ups and downs in their relationship and that is the norm. We also see how sometimes opposites do attract, with Joel being more reserved and Clementine being the more out there one between the two of them. This also poses problems as Joel can become depressive at times and Clementine, with her bi-polar, can be impulsive hence the decision to undergo the procedure. Another example of being your authentic self in a relationship in the movie, is when one of the people performing the procedure on Joel tries to use his memories to make Clementine fall in love with him. It turns out that he also performed the procedure on Clementine and fell in love with her. His efforts though fall short as everything he does while using Joel's memories freak Clementine out and her away from him. So this whole thing of trying to find the 'perfect' relationship we might think some people have can a detriment in itself.

Memories

Another aspect of this movie I wanted to touch on is the affect memories have on us. Memories, in my opinion, form parts of who we are as people and inform us on what decisions to make in the future at times. We see that both Clementine and Joel were experiencing so much pain from their time spent together that the only way they thought would be best to stop this was to remove their memories of each other. As always though we have to think about how some things have an equal and opposite reaction. They might be able to remove the bad memories, but that also means they have to remove the good memories they have of each other. These proved more important for Joel than losing the bad ones. I feel like this shows us that maybe we need to go through those rough times in order for us to be able to appreciate when things are going well, not just in a relationship but life as a whole. That is the human experience, to go through hardship and come out the other side with lessons learnt to apply in the next up phase in your life.

Fate

Considering how the movie suggests that things go between Joel and Clementine, you wouldn't be mistaken into thinking that some things in life are just fate. What I'm referring to here is when the last memory of Clementine is being removed in Joel's mind, she tells him to meet her in Montauk and what happens, the morning after his procedure he decides to not to go into work and takes a train to Montauk on what seems like a spur of the moment decision to him. He meets Clementine there, but this time with no recollection of her and they fall in love once again. Possibly some things are just beyond our control and we have no say in how they will go. The subconscious is a part of the mind that we are yet to fully understand and I think we ever will, I feel like it's like trying to understand God in a way.

Title

One last thing I wanted to touch on is the title of the movie. The title comes from a quote by Alexander Pope that goes "The world forgetting, by the world forgot. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! How happy is the blameless vestal's lot! The world forgetting, by the world forgot." Loosely translated it means that ignorance is bliss. I just love how the movie spends it's time dispelling this.

[ntandobam]

Living In The Material World

Sleeper Masterpiece

Out of all the solo albums from the members of the Beatles, this ranks in the top 2 for me after John Lennon's first solo album 'Plastic Ono Band'. I think it just encapsulates what George Harrison was in my eyes in terms of his spirituality and dealing with his subsequent fame from the Beatles.

Track 1 - Give Me Love (Give Me Peace On Earth)

This was used as the lead single of the album and this song according to George is a prayer and personal statement between him, God and whoever appreciated the song. Being known as the idealistic Beatle I think this song sees him being frustrated with what's going on around him the time and trying to reach out to something for guidance to help him.

Track 2 - Sue Me, Sue You Blues

During the early 70s George was fighting lawsuits left, right and centre from his time with the Beatles to the his own ventures he wanted to partake in which led him to writing this song. He got hit with copyright infringement on his hit single 'My Sweet Lord' from his previous album. He also had trouble getting recording rights from record companies for a benefit concert for Bangladesh he wanted to do and money took time to get to the rightful places. Lastly, the Beatles members, after breaking up, started suing each other for rights to songs when Paul McCartney started while trying to dissolve Apple Corps.

Track 3 - The Light That Has Lighted The World

The opening words, 'I've heard that some people have said that I've changed, that I'm not what I was how it really is a shame', are some of my favourite to be written by an artist. To me everything is about change all around us, nothing stays the same and that's a beautiful thing to appreciate. Him being the youngest member of the Beatles plays a part in it as well, I think, feeling like the little brother who finally finds his own voice amongst the siblings.

Track 4 - Don't Let Me Wait Too Long

Even though this was one of his popular songs, he didn't treat it as such. It is the only song from the album that he didn't discuss so the meaning behind it is really up in the air, it could be about a woman or it could be about a deity. It was supposed to be the follow up single after 'Give Me Love' but he pulled it and didn't give reasons for doing that.

Track 5 - Who Can See It

Within the group dynamics, George was assigned the more junior role when it came to songwriting which saw him being overlooked when it came to what songs would be put on the albums, mainly being dominated by Lennon and McCartney songs. After the group broke up he found commercial and critical success on his own and in this song it's like he's releasing frustration from his time with the band.

Track 6 - Living In The Material World

Inspired by A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada, the leader and founder of the International Society for Krishna Consciousness, the song has a double meaning to it not just referring to our need to have material things to make us happy or at least think that they'll make us happy, it also touches on realizing that our bodies are just physical things of this world and that we need to learn to adopt a higher consciousness in order to leave it behind. Being a musician who was rich and famous and could get anything he wanted, this might've seemed hypocritical, and it was something that he battled to get to grips with at times.

Track 7 - The Lord Loves The One (That Loves The Lord)

Also inspired by a visit from A.C. Bhaktivenda Swami Prabhupada once again, here George is talking about how we all are chasing something like fame, fortune or a certain position in order to feel like somebody, but in the end we're going to die anyways. It's about one coming to a point where they have to understand they aren't the one in control ultimately. There is a higher power greater than you and you need to trust what they have in place for you.

Track 8 - Be Here Now

The track title is pretty self explanatory being inspired after reading Ram Dass' book of the same name, in which he talks about his transformation from Dr Richard Alpert to Baba Ram Dass. The song is about him trying to tell people to forget about the Beatle days as he was the first one to tire of it all during the peak of their fame. Also just in general we spent too much time thinking about the past and future when we really can't do much about those as they don't exist in reality or what we consider to be reality.

Track 9 - Try Some, Buy Some

While reading the lyrics my interpretation of the song was the journey of someone who had been through drug use, but at the same time someone who has gone through a spiritual awakening. George was very concerned for his friends in the music industry especially during that time with their drug and alcohol use as it was the norm for them to partake in.

Track 10 - The Day The World Gets 'Round

Written after he organized a benefit concert for Bangladesh Liberation War. There is a duality to it that ties to the track name. He feels great appreciation and hope from the concert thanks to the people that contributed towards it, but at the same time the fact musicians had to be the ones trying to help people in need instead of those that are put into power makes him lose his optimism at times.

Track 11 - That Is All

Thanks to the track name, this is the final song on the album and it serves as a conventional love song to a woman, but the same time, a declaration to God. His belief was that all love is universal and when you love a woman it's because you see the God in her.

There are three more tracks that were part of the B-side .

[ntandobam]

Top UK Underground Artists

It's Personal Opinion

Instead of doing a long essay this week I thought I'd just give a list of some of my favourite UK underground rappers that I've been listening to for the past couple of years. Some are more recent than others so I probably won't go as in depth as others, but nonetheless I still fuck with their music. The definition of what underground means has also changed over the years thanks to streaming services, so I've done this according to how much mainstream attention they've had or the lack thereof of it.

1. Jordy

My journey being aware of Jordy started back in 2019 when I started watching the Filthy Fellas podcast, which is a weekly football podcast he features on. Once discovering that he made music, which is actually a common thing amongst Filthy members, I was hooked and I'm constantly waiting for him to drop new music and his projects never disappoint. His recent project 'SNM', which got me thinking about this list, goes through his ups and downs trying to break through into the music industry, but this time compared to his previous projects it seems like he's finally making a breakthrough. I highly recommend having listen to him.

2. Frankie Stew and Harvey Gunn

This duo have been best friends and music partners for the past 15 years and have been slowly building their catalogue and fanbase that comes with it. Harvey being the producer of the group brings a mix of Hip Hop and UK Garage to his style and with Frankie being the rapper, brings heartfelt lyrics that touch on coming of age, relationships and mental health. Since my discovery of them back in 2020 they have just gotten better and seeing them start families, Frankie, and getting over drug and alcohol problems, Harvey, it has been nice to see their growth. Their most recent release 'The South Has Something To Say' continues that theme.

3. Songer

Being one of the younger rappers on this list at just 22 years of age, Songer has managed to build a solid core fanbase and lyrics that are beyond his age touching mental health, loving his girl and being financial smart with his money. I first came across him back in 2018 on a BlackBox freestyle episode, which I still go back to now and then, and his lyrics grabbed my attention. He did slip off my radar for a couple of years afterwards until he released his project 'The Sunrise Project' and since then I've been keeping up with any upcoming music from him, especially his projections. His recent project 'Skala' has been something I go back to and that's all I ask for in an artist.

4. Bawo

Bawo is one of the artists I've known for the least amount of time having listening to him for the first time last year with his song 'Mazzalean'. I guess it wasn't just the song itself, but also the music video that accompanied it, as an aspiring director that had me hooked and I wanted to discover more about him. So far he has released one project in early 2023, 'Legitimate Cause', and has given me hope that I've made the right choice, so I'm looking forward to what he brings to the music scene and just how he develops as an artist in the coming years.

5. Nix Northwest

For a while Nix has been an artist that I really think much about, except for having one song of his on my liked playlist on Spotify, 'See You In The Morning'. Until I listened to his most recent album 'Xin's Disappearance' and it got me to understand him a bit more and he's done a good job at creating conceptual albums that I love. His lyrics explore romance, doubt, escapism and self-reflection. I love his honesty in his music and I can appreciate that he is involved in every process that pertains to making his music from writing to the production.

6. Kofi Stone

Kofi is probably the artist on this list that gives me more of a 90s Hip Hop in his production and his recent album 'Nobody Cares Till Everybody Does' is a great presentation of that. He's got narrative driven storytelling which will always get me interested in an artist. I haven't been listening to him for that long only discovering him last year, so I still have some more to catch up on, but I am definitely looking forward to what he has planned in the future.

7. Monster Florence

The group consists of 3 vocalists; Dream Mclean, Alex Osiris, Wallace Rice and 3 instrumentals; Tom Donavan, Jonny Poole, Cameron Morrell. They originally were only supposed to play together once off at a festival, but they've since gone on to release multiple projects together. Another one where I spent a lot of time just appreciating one song on my liked songs playlist, until I got curious enough to see what they were about. I have not been disappointed with what they've managed to deliver especially in their EP 'Foul'.

Honourable Mentions:

[ntandobam]

Requiem For A Dream

A Case Of Addiction Leading To Self-Sabotage

Recently a friend asked me to suggest a movie to them that was heart wrenching and one of the first ones to come to mind was Requiem for a dream. Partly because I had just watched it a week or two before and it left quite an impression on me and also because I don't have the best memory. It definitely made me a fan of Darren Aronofsky and I'm looking forward to watching more of his movies. The use of different movie making techniques makes it stand out compared to the movies that were being made at that time, almost felt like a music at times, but they were used appropriately. Even though the production of it is one to remember, what really makes you stay is the story that unfolds during the movie itself. In the end of it all it really is a tragic story of four people trying to achieve something that they think could make them feel better about themselves, which I feel some could somewhat relate with.

Before carrying on there obviously will be some spoilers, it's a movie made 24 years ago, if you haven't watched it that's not on me frankly. We follow four people; Harry, Sara, Tyrone and Marion, as they slowly descend into downward spiral in their lives and mentally through their use of drugs. Harry and Sara are son and mother, Harry and Marion are boyfriend and girlfriend, Harry and Tyrone are bestfriends. Harry and his mother have a dynamic where they don't feel the same about each other. Sara is very loving and fond of her son, partly because she has no one else in her life since her husband passed away and Harry doesn't live with her. Harry feels more a sense of duty to his mother than love considering how his drug habits have led him to lead his life. There is a scene in the movie that illustrates this well, when Marion asks him if he loves his mother and Harry hesitates to say that he does. Marion comes from a wealthy family but is estranged from them and only has a link with them through their money. Harry and Marion's relationship seems like a normal rebellious relationship, but as the movie goes on you can see that it is very much fueled by their heroin use. Tyrone's mother passed away when he was young so he only has Harry and a girlfriend he doesn't really have an attachment to.

Each character has a goal they're trying to achieve. Sara wants to go back to a time when she didn't feel lonely, Harry wants to not feel like a disappointment to his mother, Marion wants to be independent from her parents and Tyrone's is to fulfill his promise to his mother that he would be rich one day. We see Sara's addiction from beginning to end when she receives a call that tells she's going to be on TV. To get ready for when the time arrives she has to lose weight in order to fit in her red dress that reminds her of when times were good in her life. She ends up being prescribed pills that help her lose weight recommended by a friend. Initially the pills do help her lose weight at a rapid pace, but we soon realize the pills are actually made of the drug speed. She doesn't know this and is happy in the beginning, but as the movie goes on she slowly loses her mind, even imagining her fridge trying to eat her. She ends up in a mental asylum all alone when the movie ends. On Harry's journey, we catch him and Tyrone already down the path of drug use getting high together, but they come to the conclusion that they need to make more money to fulfill their individual desires. They decide they should start selling drugs themselves. Everything starts off well with them making money and being able to finally do the things they've always wanted to do. Harry can finally make his mother proud and buys her a new TV for all the troubles he's caused her pawning off her old one for drugs. Tyrone can finally say that he has fulfilled his promise to his mom all those years ago.

The good times don't last though, when their supplier gets killed and they end up not having anyone to buy drugs from to sell anymore. In order to get back to where they were before, they try all different measures that fail and end up being arrested when they had to take Harry to the hospital so that he can get treatment for his arm that has become infected from the heroin use. The doctor tending to him calls the police knowing what's causing the infection in his arm. Harry has to get his arm amputated and Tyrone is made to do hard manual labour in prison. Marion has dreams of opening up her own clothing store when the movie beginnings and Harry also wants this for her. When they start doing well selling drugs they try to make this dream a possibility and she gets her drug carving satisfied, but when things go wrong for Harry and he can't give her what she wants anymore their relationship starts to get strained. Her addiction has got so bad that she has resigned herself to selling her body in order to get her drugs. First by sleeping with her therapist for some money to buy her drugs, then with a drug dealer who only sells via woman having sex with him for his drugs. At the end we see her partaking in a sex party that degrades her, but ultimately she is happy with her drugs.

Throughout the film we see that the characters use the drugs to help them escape the reality that is their lives, which is a reason some people in real life start doing them. We can see people using drugs to escape and end up ruining what they have around them, from family and friends, their livelihoods and could end up being on the streets after all of it. Another thing you see in the film is the search for something that you think will make your life feel better, whether it be money, a dress or just anything you want to achieve. Some people let that goal consume them and it could be the very same thing that is their demise. You also see that we truly are all alone in this world together. All these characters are intertwined throughout the film, but in the end their situations are unique to them and are alone in the end.

[ntandobam]

South African People's Relationship With Sport

Is It Racist?

With the recent AFCON tournament coming to an end and seeing how people in this country reacted to Bafana Bafana's performance in it, and not just them, in recent years we've seen excellent performances in sports. From the Springboks going back to back with Rugby World Cup wins in 2019 and 2023, Banyana Banyana winning the WAFCON in 2023, getting our first UFC title holder and many others. This was also influenced by a tweet I saw that said "Mandela was right, sport really does unite the nation, yoh" An interesting factor to add to our sports, specifically the two main ones football and rugby, is the racial undertone that goes with those respective sports. I will be using rugby and football as the main example in this post, but this extends to other sports we participate in as well.

Race and sport in this country go hand in hand together unfortunately and we've had this problem since the beginning and it has somewhat continued to present day South Africa. This goes back to colonialism, but honestly I don't feel like going that back, the gist of it is that the English brought over rugby, cricket, football, tennis over with them when they did what they did. I'll start during Apartheid where rugby was considered to be a white man's sport because of its elitism and those in charge used it to push their racist narratives. Football on the other hand had more of proletariat approach to it so therefore it assumed the shape of being the black man's sport. During this period rugby was used to affirm Apartheid on an international stage, by playing matches against other countries, which would give the impression that they approved of what was going on in South Africa. This would come to a halt in the 70s when countries started to boycott going to South Africa to play matches and South African teams touring would receive hostility from fans in airports, the hotels they were staying at and at the stadiums they were playing at. Eventually South Africa would become isolated from the rest of the world with trade embargoes being put on it and countries refusing to have anything to do with South Africa.

All this local and international protest would push the apartheid government to reconsider their stance and lead to the country's first democratic elections in 1994. The following year sport was used in an attempt to unify a recently racially divided nation when we hosted the 1995 Rugby World Cup (RWC) and we would go on to win our first world cup in that tournament. The then president, Nelson Mandela, believed sport was the key to building a unified nation and I agree with him to a certain extent, but I'll use the rest of this blog to say otherwise. Riding off the high of the RWC win in 1995, Bafana Bafana went on to win their first and only AFCON in 1996. I feel these two moments were very significant in playing a role on people's morale's in the country. We would also experience prosperity in the subsequent years, with foreign countries having confidence in the future of South Africa seeing investment coming our way. The next big sporting moments would be the 2007 RWC win and South Africa hosting the FIFA World Cup in 2010. These standout to me personally, because I was in grade 1 (2007) and grade 4 (2010), so I somewhat have an experience of them while the previously mentioned events I wasn't even born yet.

Besides the sports going on during that time, we had a recession in 2008. which is another factor that plays into things. Pre-recession I'd say South Africa was doing well for itself, with normal amount of corruption going on in the background and having a RWC win in there wouldn't of hurt morale. Post-recession we have a different financial landscape on our hands and an international tournament to host where a lot of benefits mentioned were going to come from it. The only good thing that came out of the FIFA World Cup was the positive PR South Africa received as a country, but the people themselves gained nothing from it. We built stadiums that cost more than we had foreseen, improvements were only made around city centres, which are predominately white, and townships, which are black, were left the same. The 'trickle down' benefits expected to come only stayed at the top. This should've opened eyes to the fact that maybe things hadn't changed, but of course these things take time to see the full effect of them. Well, it wouldn't really get better after this, as we would go through the 'Zuma' years. The country went from worst to worst during this period, from rising food prices to the infamous loadshedding being more prominent. All of this would come to the forefront after the 2019 RWC win, which seemed to reinvigorate the country in some way and made us look around at ourselves us a country.

The 2019 RWC win marked pretty significant improvement in the inclusion of a more diverse squad, which the Springboks had struggled with for many years. In it we had our first black captain who would lead a team to world cup victory. When we look at previous world cup winning squads, there really was a problem with diversity. In that emotional win in 1995 we only had one person of colour (Chester Williams) in a squad of 30 and only 4 (Bryan Habana, JP Pietersen, Akona Ndungane, Ashwin Willemse) in a squad of 32 in 2007. The joy from the 2019 world cup win though was short lived as the whole world would shut down with the Corona Virus dropping in 2020, These would be years that set the country back even further and people in the country would start getting fed up with leadership, cost of living would reach all-time highs and loadshedding would get worse. Loadshedding is another reason why I wanted to explore this topic.

On a day to day basis South Africans have to deal with it no matter what your race is and you could say that's the shinning light of it, damn I wish I could put an emoji on this thing, let us have a look at how it was handled during the 2023 RWC and 2024 AFCON. During the entire tournament of the RWC when the Springboks were playing, we didn't experience loadshedding and during the AFCON we would experience regular loadshedding even when Bafana Bafana were playing. What makes Bafana Bafana's case even worse, is that we'd been having an underperforming football team for many years and at a time when they were now starting to actually do something, some people in the country were robbed of that experience. Now going back to the top of the post and considering what I said in the beginning about what each sport represented, I still think we have some soul searching we need to do as a country or even as individual people or I'm just delusional.

One thing though is that sport plays a very pivotal role in how this country feels about itself, but we are constantly pulled back by those that are in charge. Possibly nothing has changed since 1994, in fact it's probably gotten worse. You make the decision.

[ntandobam]

Beatles Influence and How Fame Affected Them

Was It Worth It?

The Beatles made their first appearance on American TV when they performed on the Ed Sullivan Show in 1964. From that moment on their lives would never be the same again, whether that was a good or bad thing, only they can give you the answer to that. I would like to say that I would've loved to be there during their rise and domination, but really that would be stupid of me to say as a black man that would've had to live through the 1960s, so I'll just appreciate what they've left us and listen on my Spotify.

In Europe they had managed to grow a pretty big fanbase, mostly young girls, so when they finally got to America it's not like they were some unknowns. After that Ed Sullivan appearance, They would meet the beast they had created when they embarked on a US tour no one had ever seen before. They went from performing in clubs and halls for a while and graduated to theatres later, but when they started performing in America they started to do stadiums. This might sound like it would be fun, but they complained about not being able to hear themselves sing as all the crowd was doing was screaming the entire time, which is pretty impressive, because when I watched videos on them the crowd was pretty far from the stage itself. In between the shows it was mayhem to move from one place to another, with screaming fans trying to get a piece of them at every turn. Fans would try and climb into the homes they were staying at while in America or try and sneak into hotels they were staying, in today's time, they're called stalkers. This would also become known as 'Beatlemania'.

Fans weren't the only ones wanting a piece of them, you had the press constantly wanting interviews with them. Honestly this is also where I started to like them more outside of their music, I loved their sarcastic replies to questions asked by the press. you have to keep in mind that they were all in their early 20s (Ringo-24; John-24; Paul-22; George-21) and from Liverpool. They were normal guys that gained worldwide recognition for their work. The travelling and performing around the world would go on until 1966, with John's comment about the Beatles being bigger than Jesus, but also you can't put only on that. They had a pretty taxing touring schedule and I think it just go to them. From this point on they would become a studio band and really in my opinion this is when their music became more influential and groundbreaking.

Up until this point they had released six albums and I'd say the last two out of those was when their sound started to evolve starting with Rubber Soul. The first Album they released in this next phase of the band was SGT. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club and that as we all know is one of the most important album in music history, as of today it is 11x platinum. Inspired by Paul, they decided they were tired of being The Beatles and wanted to be something else. They added to their production using orchestras in some songs, they used sitars in some songs, the album cover became inspiration for many to think outside the box when it came to theirs, the lyrical content became more personal and also represented what was going on at the time. Going back to the use of the sitar, this was pushed mainly by George who'd convinced the group to head to India while they were on a break at a later stage. He was clearly in search of some way of coping with what had become their lives and was trying to do it with spirituality. While the others tried, they all eventually left early and George was left until they had to go back to work.

SGT. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club(SPLHC) really showed the voice they had amongst their generation when they performed "All You Need Is Love" in protest of the Vietnam War that was ongoing at the time. They would go on to release a further four albums after SPLHC including my favourite Beatles album, Abbey Road. They decided it was time to disband in 1969 and had their legendary rooftop performance to mark an end to a crazy ride. The common thinking is that once Yoko came into the picture, she was the beginning of the end for the band, but in reality the group had just reached its expiration date. They were starting to not function as a band and most importantly as friends, there was tension leading to George quitting the band for a few days when they were recording 'Let It Be' because of Paul's micro-managing, they had many financial problems over the years with management stealing money that was supposed to be theirs.

Individually they dealt with their subsequent fame in their own ways. They all had their problems with substances, John was known for his use of heroin and struggled with it, Paul was arrested many times for being in possession of weed, famously in Japan, he even caused a stir when he admitted to taking LSD even though it wasn't by choice, George would also struggle with a substance, cocaine, and Ringo would have a problem with alcohol. George had life long journey with his spirituality even becoming known as the 'spiritual Beatle'. John used his relationship with Yoko to make a difference in his own way, with the best example being the famous 'bed-in'. Unfortunately John would meet his demise because of his fame when he was murdered by a fan in 1980. Paul continued making music with his wife, forming a pretty successful band with her and having the longest career out of the Beatles. Ringo managed to have somewhat of a career after the band broke up, but it was never going to reach the heights he had reached before.

It might look like these guys just blew up out of nowhere, but that just isn't the case. Paul and John met when they were 15 and 16 respectfully and that's when their writing partnership started. After a while they had formed the band and in the early years they were first performing in clubs in Liverpool gaining experience as a group, this would go into another gear when they started performing around Europe, specifically Hamburg, where they would put in the necessary hours to become great performers. I know there's probably a lot of things I've left out of this, but I'm not a journalist and this is really me just writing about a music group I admire not just for their music, but for the entertaining and insightful people they were away from it.

Going back to the title up top, I'm not even sure if I've done what I set out to do. If I have then great and this as itself was worth it. Either way I enjoyed myself.

[ntandobam]

Is Hip Hop In SA Dead?

Hate or True?

This conversation has been floating around for many years now and it’s become prevalent considering the climate of music in this country at the moment. I too was part of the group that believed so and forced me to look outside of the country for some Hip Hop that actually made me feel something. This is why I guess I went to UK Grime/Hip Hop for a couple of years that eventually evolved to the wider music genres and generally the culture over there. This is not about that though, I want go through Hip Hop in SA and what it has had to compete with over the years and what it’s position is today. I feel, personally, it’s not a matter of just saying that a genre is dead because another is experiencing popularity at the time, you have to look at other factors that might be affecting it and what it’s doing for its people within it.

Why people keep bringing up the story of Hip Hop being dead in SA is because of the rise and dominance of the Amapiano genre not just in SA but also the global market, mainly USA and UK, which are what artists aim for. Amapiano came to my attention probably in late 2019, but fully in the beginning of 2020 when I was sitting in the barbershop getting my haircut and the song ‘Emcibini’ came on the radio playing. From that moment on it has been a staple of the South African music scene from my point of view. It is undeniable that it has taken over from Hip Hop here in SA no matter how hard of a Hip Hop you may think you are, all you have to do is look at the numbers being shown to you and honestly just being aware of what the ‘groove’ scene is saying at the moment is all you need. 

Amapiano artists seem to be churning out hits on a daily basis and impressive to be able to do that in a country that’s notoriously bad at consumption at times, but they seem to not have a problem in that department. When you look at the Spotify plays, the bookings at international festivals, the amount of hits being made by Amapiano artists vs Hip Hop artists we know where we stand at this current moment and I think it’s good for the SA music scene, and not just the music scene infact, the whole culture we try to create over here. The spotlight has been shown to a wide variety of spheres pertaining to creativity in SA and Amapiano’s rise has helped with that. We have to think of it as our own export to the rest of the world. My problem though is when we now start to have people claiming the death of a genre because they are heavily involved with another and aren’t involved in it, you start narratives that may sway people who aren’t even part of either.

I’d say the beginning of Hip Hop in SA was in 90s, at that time though it was more of a niche subculture within the youth. During this time the most popular genre coming out of SA was Kwaito which had gained global recognition, sound familiar? It’s growth though was a gradual one that took place during the 2000s that saw artists of the genre being able to earn from doing something they loved and would do for free and would soon take over from Kwaito. The 2000s is a period that birthed those we would consider legends in the space now from Skwatta Kamp to Teargas and it was beginning to get recognized as having a footing in the game by having its own award show, we also saw record labels being Hip Hop centred. Even with all this though, it still had to compete with other genres that were more popular like Afrohouse, whose artist were getting more global recognition than those in Hip Hop for example Black Coffee and Zakes Bantwini who have both gone on to win Grammy’s. So we can see that Hip Hop has had a struggle to be recognized in SA.

Sometimes being number 1 might not be the best thing for a genre, Hip Hop as a whole is kind of having an identity crisis, but more like having too many identities. We might experience the decline of Hip Hop’s popularity, but only time will tell.

[ntandobam]

The Ego

Necessary Evil or Not?

This week I wanted to explore something that has played a role in my life, sometimes good and sometimes bad, that I’ve tried to control quite a bit. I’d say it also influenced the journey that I’ve been on for the past 3 years and slowly I’d say I’m beginning to understand it a bit better as time goes on. Just like everyone though we have moments of lapses and we let it take over. Instead of just looking at it from a psychology point of view, I wanted to approach it from a spiritual sense with the help of three spiritual guides that I’ve grown to admire over the years which are Alan Watts, Jiddu Krishnamurti and Eckhart Tolle. First though, I will go through the definition of ego according to Sigmund Freud.

I wanted to start with a psychology definition of the word so that we can have a common understanding of what it is, before going into the spiritual side of things, because it can kind of start getting esoteric and views differs somewhat at that level. Granted, you can get the same from people who have gained doctorates in the subject and have studied it, but there’s just some validity added when you use the education system fortunately or unfortunately. According to Sigmund Freud the ego is 1 out of 3 parts that form part of our personality, the other two being the id and the superego. The id, the most primal of these, is the part of the personality that seeks pleasure and instant gratification and it exists wholly in the unconscious part of the mind. It is the only one that is present from birth and drives the beginnings of personality and as we grow it stays the same, which obviously would be problematic if that carried into adolescence and eventually adulthood, that’s where the ego and the superego come into play. 

I’ll start with the superego, as it acts opposite to the id and its function is to regulate our internalized morals and values that we’ve learned from our parents and society. This then determines feelings of pride and satisfaction and also shame and guilt. The ego comes in and tries to balance these two and you also have to add dealing with reality on top of that. In essence the ego regulates our self-importance on a day to day basis, which means having a healthy ego leads to maintaining a healthy sense of self and having too much ego leads to you being considered self-centred. It works both in the preconscious and the conscious, but also it having strong ties with the id means it also operates in the unconscious as well. In its fight to control the id the ego uses defensive mechanisms that go under the radar, such as repression which we only become aware of in retrospect we look back at a certain situation of scenario and how we dealt with it the time. Sometimes though an inflated sense of self-centredness is not something that a person can control and it’s down to them having a mental disorder such as Bi-polar Disorder, like we’ve seen with Kanye West in recent years, or it could Narcissitic Personality Disorder. 

The three gentlemen I’m about to mention have helped me come to understand the human experience ever since I had my ‘awakening/ 3/4 years back, but I can’t really put a time frame of when it happened as I also feel it’s something that happens gradually over time. You just might get one moment that stands out to you, because it’s not like I was walking around like a zombie not knowing what I was doing. You could possibly call it gaining consciousness, because from that moment on you became more aware of your doings and not just yours, but those around you as well. So in the past couple of years I’ve been listening to talks they’ve done on just how to operate in this world and also those things that affect you from the inside and outside as we live in duality. 

Just to give context on what time the men I mentioned in the beginning were speaking during, Jiddu Krishnamurti was born in 1895 in India and died in 1986 , Alan Watts was born in 1915 in England and died in 1973 and Eckhart Tolle was born 1948 in Germany and is still living. I’ve learnt quite a lot from these guys, but I you always have to go back and remind yourself from time to time. From what I gather on the ego from them is that it really starts from your thoughts and that influences how you feel about yourself, which comes from what we’ve been taught at birth when we’re given our name, what we learn from what we see our parents do and people in society. We then form an identity according to what other people think we should be or not be. A lot of comparison comes out of this as well and this affects the ego where it can consider itself inferior or superior to those around, especially when we attach our identity to the strengths and weakness we may or may not possess. This can lead to some being violent when they feel that their beliefs are being challenged. The world we live in today has added to this problem at times thanks to social media. We now have created a self of the internet that we can kind differentiate to what we are in normal day to day life and we show people what we want them to see, then you have likes and followers that affect how you feel about yourself and comparison comes into again when you look at other people’s profiles and yours isn’t similar. 

I think we just have to realize that it’s a created reality by us and we shouldn’t put too much of an importance on how we are perceived on the internet. We’re all creating a perfect image of ourselves to some extent, others do it more than others. This can also be applied to real life as well. From what I’ve learnt over the years, is that we need to learn to let go of the identity we have cultivated of ourselves. This is easier said than done because it comes from years and years of conditioning from those around us and even the language we use to communicate like the word ‘I’ we use to describe ourselves. There is no ‘I’ in the grand scheme of things, but this requires someone to zoom out and look at things that they at times can’t comprehend. We are all part of the universe and have a role to play or at least a path to follow and ultimately have no control only your higher selves. I feel like I’m kind of getting of the rails right now, so I’ll bring it back down here. 

I don’t know if I got my points or views across, but I hope someone who comes across has gained something even if it’s minimal.