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Class (1983)
DISCLAIMER: This is not a review. I am in no way a professional at all to do a movie review. I am not a critic at all. The only reason why I’m doing this is because I used to talk to my dad a lot about movies. I can’t do that anymore.
i’ve been holding off of this movie for awhile now. my dad mentioned it once when i told him how fond of andrew mccarthy i was. it was after i watched pretty in pink, i think. then i finally got to watching it
andrew mccarthy the cutest baby in the world goddamn
EVERYONE IS HERE
ROB LOWE
JOHN CUSACK
ALAN RUCK
EVEN GODDAMN JOAN CUSACK HAD AN APPEARANCE
of course they were probably just starting out when this movie came out
AH YES. BOYS IN PREP SCHOOL. THE AESTHETIC WE LIVE AND BREATHE
skip being a total dick by pranking the new kid (jonathan)
but jonathan striking back in the most insane way. super fucking triggering but wow
became best friends
but yeah, rob lowe in women’s lingerie
fuCKING JONATHAN LOSING HIS VIRGINITY TO A MID 30S WOMAN. IS THE WOMAN OKAY??? WHY WOULD SHE EVEN.....
and i thought it would end there but he just kept going back for more
i felt a little uncomfortable seeing the sex scenes because he looked so much younger than her
you could tell
his legs were tiny around her waist
and then skipp bringing jonathan along with him when he goes home
eventually jonathan finding out he’s been fucking skipp’s mother
and actually being in love with her
SICKO
but i laughed so hard at how awkward
anD I DONT GET IT WHY DID SHE KEEP CALLING HIM??? WHAT THE FUCK???? LEAVE THE KID ALONE
they fucked again
but skipp finding out eventually
he was going to find out anyway! jonathan looked like he couldn’t hide it anymore
still dont understand why skipp’s mom kept calling jonathan
skipp saving jonathan’s ass by not ratting him out on stealing the SAT answer sheet
skipp loved jonathan :( i mean they were still best friends
they just needed to settle what the fuck was going on because skipp wasn’t talking to jonathan at all
i mean i get it
super fucking uncomfortable
beating each other up and chasing each other around the mud and the dorms
and then just
forgetting about it i guess
IDK BOYS
i really did enjoy this whole movie. i love 80s teen flicks so much. they’re my ultimate favorite.
and come on,
andrew mccarthy
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Mary Poppins Returns (2018)
DISCLAIMER: This is not a review. I am in no way a professional at all to do a movie review. I am not a critic at all. The only reason why I’m doing this is because I used to talk to my dad a lot about movies. I can’t do that anymore.
first of all, it’s mary poppins...come on
was crying the whole time because i didnt realize it was about michael and jane as adults
hOW COULD THEY FORGET ABOUT ALL THE TIMES WITH MARY POPPINS
and come oN LIN MANUEL MIRANDA HELLO
i loved the 3 kids so much they acted so smart and responsible for their age what the fuck are the british this way
emily blunt as mary poppins. WOW. beautiful. JUST beautiful.
super fucking nostalgic
it literally feels like walking passed your old childhood home and realizing it doesn’t look exactly the same anymore but the spirit is still there
michael singing about his late wife :( cried at that part. he forced himself to grow up because they had to
losing the house and all
trying to find money
merYL STREEP AND JULIE WALTERS IS THIS A MAMMA MIA REUNION
COLIN FIRTH??? MAMMIA MIA????
THE DANCING PENGUINS??????
feeD THE BIRDS TUPPINS A BAG??????
cried the whole fucking time
CRIED THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME
let’s go fly a kITE
the references to the old songs. my heart.
FUCKING DICK VAN DYKE HAD TO MAKE AN APPEARANCE RIGHT??????
HOLY FUCKKKKKKK THAT HURT ME LIKE HELL
i wondered why julie andrews didnt make an appearance at all but i read that she declined the offer to respect emily blunt’s role. my fucking heart :(
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It’s Kind Of A Funny Story (2010)
DISCLAIMER: This is not a review. I am in no way a professional at all to do a movie review. I am not a critic at all. The only reason why I’m doing this is because I used to talk to my dad a lot about movies. I can’t do that anymore.
another movie about mental illnesses and patients in a ward/hospital
i enjoy these kinds of movies because i like seeing the perspectives of people within the struggle
makes me feel less alone and more understood
i guess craig didnt realize how fucked up people had it
though i was also surprised how quickly things turned up
he didnt continue the jump but he ended up getting confined into a psych ward for a couple of days when all he wanted were meds to calm him down and to go home
his parents werent bad parents. they were supportive, in a way. not gaslighting him or anything like i’ve witnessed, u know.
ZOE KRAVITZ. MY WOMAN.
EMMA ROBERTS. MY WOMAN.
zach galifianakis playing such a serious role. took me awhile to get used to it because of his role in hangover.
i dont know i just assumed he was like that in real life HAHAHAHA
his role struck me
my favorite part is movies like this finding out why they were admitted in the ward.
and bobby (zack galifianakis) never opened up to craig about it. he just kinda brushed it off or would make up a lie that sounded so believable
but eventually craig just kinda pushed him
well no
he found out
bobby tried to kill himself a bunch of times already
and it wasnt helping the relationship he had with his daughter
he felt even worse how he wasted his years away
he took craig in and tried to get him to see the worth in life
i like how the movie ended
he only stayed a few days in the ward but came out a completely different person
that he doesnt actually heal
his suicidal thoughts doesnt really end there
it starts there, actually
but he’ll try and live as well as he can
and he fell in love too so
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Mallrats (1995)
DISCLAIMER: This is not a review. I am in no way a professional at all to do a movie review. I am not a critic at all. The only reason why I’m doing this is because I used to talk to my dad a lot about movies. I can’t do that anymore.
this movie is my kind of vibe. movies like this are always my kind of vibe
mainly watched it for jay and silent bob. was this before their own movie or....?
TYPICAL 90′S TEEN FLICK. I LOVE HOW FUCKING STUPID IT IS
they sound so fucking smart when they talk but all they’re talking about is girls and idiotic ideas
jason lee, dude.
ben affleck the face of being a douche. not even a jerk or a dick. he looks like a douche in this movie.
how did all of this happen in a day
it’s really just vibes though nothing deep about it
i enjoyed it so much cause i love 90s teen movies
ok just found out that jay and silent bob have multiple films
it’s just strange that 2 guys go to the mall after a break up to try to get over the girls
why the mall
but OKAY i guess it’s the best place to unwind???? HAHAHAHAHA
they took the mall TOO seriously
the conversation between ts and brodie about food stores outside of the food court if they’re considered the food court or not
thought deeply about that
THE CLOTHES. THE OUTFITS. OH MY GOD. YES
everyone looks like they need a shower
i love 90s teen movie soundtracks. it was the era they glorified being punk
the dude staring at the optical illusion photo and not being able to see the image so he was determined to stay there and stare at it all day until he sees it with a bag of lunch and soda while everyone watching passed it could see it is me
the gif of jay and silent bob beating a bunny up sums up the movie
oh and silent bob wasnt truly silent the whole film
he spoke during the last few minutes
and of course brodie and ts get the girls
classic
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Pride & Prejudice (2005)
DISCLAIMER: This is not a review. I am in no way a professional at all to do a movie review. I am not a critic at all. The only reason why I’m doing this is because I used to talk to my dad a lot about movies. I can’t do that anymore.
only watched this because someone posted that netflix was going to remove it from their site
also because the book was my dad’s favorite
didn’t think i’d love it SO MUCH
mr darcy the biggest snob but the biggest simp at the same time
lizzy completely immune to men ahHAHAHAH did not know what she wanted in a husband
but also,,,,,
mr darcy intrigued the fuck out of her
and lizzy intrigued the fuck out of mr darcy
thE FUCKING SIMP COULDNT EVEN HANDLE IT WHEN HE HELPED HER UP THE CARRIAGE AND HELD HER HAND LOOKED AND WALKED AWAY GODDAMN
i guess he just didn’t wanna seem too available to everyone. wasn’t looking for a wife either
while everyone looked for someone to marry
but my god did lizzy annoy his thoughts
he spent so much time and effort trying to impress her
becauSE WHEN HE SUDDENLY CONFESSED TO HER TELLING HER HE LOVED HER
SHE WENT
THE FUCK??????
WE HATE EACH OTHER ARE U KIDDING ME
fucking declined
and he didn’t even force her to say it back he just couldn’t really keep it in himself anymore
he basically spat it out
well all he did was shoot his shot
he knew he had money and the connections
completely made things better and easier for lizzy’s family anonymously
confessed to lizzy he did it all
and he did it for her. to impress her.
yeah he has a good heart and all
but can you imagine how fucking enthralled he was for her to go through such things
hE COULDNT HELP IT
HE HAD TO TELL HER AGAIN THAT HE LOVED HER
“and i love...love...love you” GODDAMN MY FINGERS WENT NUMB
IM A SIMP
he wanted to tell her again
waiting for an answer this time
and if she didn’t feel the same way, he’d officially stopped
i guess it’s right cause he didn’t really try at first he just ran away from being flustered around her
but could she help it? she fell slowly and hard
and as strange as it was for everyone who knew her and who knew him and knew they hated each other
it also made sense
it was the only thing that made sense
THE WAY HER DAD ALLOWED THE MARRIAGE
she had to tell her father everything he did of course for their family
her father was at a loss for words
like
are u fucking kidding me
mr darcy??? this man is powerful??? this man is rich???? why the fuck would he spend so much time and money and effort on-
he really does love u huh?
fucking SIMPS
i love this so much
im reading the book now
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Christopher Robin (2018)
DISCLAIMER: This is not a review. I am in no way a professional at all to do a movie review. I am not a critic at all. The only reason why I’m doing this is because I used to talk to my dad a lot about movies. I can’t do that anymore.
DON’T FUCKING GET ME STARTED ON THIS ONE BECAUSE WATCHING THIS WAS LONG ANTICIPATED FOR ME
it really started with Christopher Robin’s good bye to everyone in the Hundred Acre Woods because he was going off to boarding school
none of them truly understood it. they just liked that there was a party
AND AGAIN pooh avoiding confrontational conversation
EVERYONE WAS SO FUCKING CUTE I COULDN’T-
I JUST WANTED TO HOLD EVERYONE IN MY ARMS FOREVER
ESPECIALLY POOH
christopher robin being a working stiff whEN HE HAS A FUCKING CHILD
the whole metaphor with heffalumps and woozles being working stiff adults - really got us, the audience of winnie the pooh, huh? okAY WE GET IT ADULTS ARE SCARY (they really are though)
“POOH??????”
*pokes pooh’s tummy*
christopher robin being really mean to pooh got me so angry like he was your best friend??????? can you shut the fuck up about work and take him home?????
it’s a good thing pooh is a dumbass or he would be really offended
i would be completely hurt if my all time best friend made me feel like such a bother to him
christopher robin getting pooh a balloon cause pooh wouldn’t shut up
“you silly ol’ bear”
i cried during every part pooh was being a fucking poet. my favORITE POET. THE SOFTEST BABY IN THE WORLD
me crying when tigger sang his song “tigger’s are wonderful things, their tops are made of rubber, their bottoms are made of springs”
heffalumps and woozles pls
when christopher robin finally apologized to pooh for being a dick and they slept in the grass for a whole night
“oh no it’s tomorrow already!”
“it’s usually today”
oh for gods sake pooh
“is madeline more important than the things in your important bag?” or something like that “yes” “then why isn’t she with you?” goDDAMN hitting christopher robin in the chest area
madeline, christopher’s daughter, meeting the lot and just believing in their existence right away like what the fuck honestly i’d run away scared shitless but i’d come back to check if they were real
when pooh and the gang told madeline that christopher told them madeline’s happiness is the only thing that mattered to him
me crying again during that part
crying during the part they were a whole family again
the wife not believing a damn word
THE ENDING WAS WONDERFUL
“christopher robin, what day is it?”
“it’s today”
reality hit me on this one because what the fuck is that pooh talk to me like im a person please
but then again
i cried so fucking hard
hey dad, you would have loved it
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Tolkien (2019)
DISCLAIMER: This is not a review. I am in no way a professional at all to do a movie review. I am not a critic at all. The only reason why I’m doing this is because I used to talk to my dad a lot about movies. I can’t do that anymore.
walked into this one knowing anything again
didn’t realize until the end that this was the author of the lord of the rings. my bad. im uncultured as it is.
ANYWAY
nicholas hoult and lily collins??????? i’d kill to see them married
a bunch of boys going against the stigma for young men passionate about art and poetry and love???? hell the fucking yeah.
i really thought he wouldn’t get edith in the end. i really thoUGHT THAT WAS IT FOR THEM WHEN THEY BROKE UP BECAUSE HE CHOSE SCHOOL OVER HER
i mean yeah
i love how their little club was formed. they took out the line between intimidation and admiration.
it’s stupid that fathers couldn’t see the artist in their sons though. of course. dead poets society again.
tolkien being obsessed with languages. my lit friends would know
really fucking wonderful dark academia just pure dark academia
boys naturally shaken up by a girl
hated the part where they were art/poetry snobs though like i still hate art/lit snobs like shut the fuck up
im really bad at reviews but i really enjoyed tolkien because i didnt really grow up with the lord of the rings and all and this made me want to watch the movies
or possibly read the books now
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The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (2010)
DISCLAIMER: This is not a review. I am in no way a professional at all to do a movie review. I am not a critic at all. The only reason why I’m doing this is because I used to talk to my dad a lot about movies. I can’t do that anymore.
MY GOD EDMUND WAS FOOOIIIINNNNEEE
or am i just really into the problematic ones?
no. no. he redeemed himself in Prince Caspian. NEVER FUCKING WENT BACK TO THE WHITE WITCH EVER AGAIN. FUCKING REGRETTED IT OF COURSE.
didn’t even recognize prince caspian at all because of his long hair
THE FUCK IS EUSTACE????? SID????? FROM TOY STORY???
lucy is gorgeous. i love her so much. my favorite hufflepuff
they just blue skadoo’d into the painting, really
why didnt aslan do anything anymore did he really just trust the two to make it on their own????
REEPICHEEP. THE ONLY ONE THAT FUCKING MATTERS.
REEPICHEEP I WOULD DIE FOR YOU
eustace was fucking annoying. but i felt really bad when he was crying as a dragon.
also, he figured out how to be a dragon pretty fast
not that he had a choice, really
fucking edmund with middle child syndrome
he is still a fucking king though
he’s gorgeous bye
overall, i got really sad at the end. it was them realizing they couldn’t go back. if they would, they’d be dead or some shit like that.
aslan fucking confirming that he really is god
HE’S PROBABLY JESUS CHRIST IM NOT SURE
HE DID SAY HE HAD A DIFFERENT NAME WHERE WE STAY SO????
is narnia just another reality where god has a different name????
eustace crying when reepicheep asks to go to aslan’s country
does that mean reepicheep dies?????
bUT IT’S BECAUSE EUSTACE AND REEPICHEEP BECAME SUCH GOOD FRIENDS
AND IM NOT SURE IF I HEARD IT RIGHT BUT ASLAN SAID EUSTACE CAN COME BACK??????????
caspian not wanting to go to aslan’s “country” to see his dad and finally realizing he needs to be a king
duH
but still reepicheep
edmund wanting to go home
tf
u good?
but sure okay
probably wants to get married and lucy wants to be beautiful or wants to experience love
im confused now cause i watched both prince caspian and this so i dont know which is which
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Marie Antoinette (2006)
DISCLAIMER: This is not a review. I am in no way a professional at all to do a movie review. I am not a critic at all. The only reason why I’m doing this is because I used to talk to my dad a lot about movies. I can’t do that anymore.
i didn’t expect anything from this movie at all. i came in without a speck of knowledge of anything. i knew of marie antoinette and the few tumblr gifs of the movie but nothing in particular
this mOVIE IS A COMING OF AGE MOVIE iN THE 1700′S. MY GOD. IT WAS.
all the drinking and shopping and flirting with boys and staying up until the sunrise
IT’S A FUCKING TEENAGE FILM X ROYALTY CORE
my fucking shit, i tell you. this is my fucking shit.
all the fucking pastries.
ANYWAY
why the fuck didnt louis xvi wanna make a baby 7 years into marriage
i mean it’s fine and all but was he just shy or did he just not like her did he not feel like it
anD WHAT EXACTLY MADE HIM WANNA DO IT THEN HAHAHAHA
kirsten dunst *chef’s kiss*
to be honest i dont know if im too stupid for this shit or it was really just a teen coming of age movie in the 1700s cause all i noticed were drinking flirting and aesthetics
whY DIDNT ANYONE NOTICE THE CONVERSE SNEAKERS IN THE SHOT WAS THIS ON PURPOSE SOPHIA COPPOLA??
THIS ONE
was this on purpose cause what the hell
ANYWAY
the colors
the clothes
the pastries
GOD. I’D DIE FOR THEM ALL
honestly. it’s really ~just a vibe~
nothing completely intellectual or literary coming from me because i just really fucking loved this movie for its aesthetics alone
though, it was really funny during the first few times marie antoinette had to get dressed and do everything in front of like a hundred people (servants)
when Count Fersen took her into a room to fuck her. oh you know had sex.
THE SHOT OF MARIE ANTOINETTE WITH NOTHING BUT STOCKINGS ON AND A FAN.
TURNED ME ON TOO
everyone just gossips about each other what the fuck shut the fuck up they just live on gossip
hate that they frowned upon daughters. the fuck is that about
anyway, everything was beautiful. that’s it.
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Mona Lisa Smile (2003)
DISCLAIMER: This is not a review. I am in no way a professional at all to do a movie review. I am not a critic at all. The only reason why I’m doing this is because I used to talk to my dad a lot about movies. I can’t do that anymore.
it’s a movie focusing on women and art. i love it already.
THE CASTING IS *chef’s kiss*
70% of the movie fucking hating Betty because she reminded me of the stupid toxic friends i had growing up. like shut the fuck up betty not everyone has the same standard and opinion as you
feeling really bad for Katherine during her first class cause they fucking nailed her on a board. but at the same time, wow, women really are something.
Joan, my favorite one. Katherine’s favorite one, supposedly, I guess.
No, wait, Connie is my favorite one. She was literally just a teenage girl, really. Being a teenage girl. And stupid fucking Betty just rains on her parade all the fucking time.
Katherine Watson is the mother I wanted and never had. Didn’t fucking give a shit if she was a single woman in her 30s when women were getting married at 18 cause it was “all women were good for” in that age. She set SUCH an example. Which is basically the point of the whole movie sorry HAHAHA
BETTY FUCKING TAKING LEAVES TO BE A WIFE????? IDK IF I ENVY OR I HATE HER LOL
But gOD KIRSTEN DUNST ACTING LIKE SUCH A BITCH MADE ME HATE HER BUT SHE’S AMAZING HOLY FUCKING HELL
Joan having such a wonderful boyfriend who supported her. You kinda really start off the movie thinking all their boyfriends are the same who only want to get married for the sake of getting married. She did end up marrying someone she loved and was supportive of her.
Guess she really just didn’t wanna go to law school
Connie falling in love *heart eyes emoji*
Betty ruining it for her.
Connie shooting her shot and owning it. FUCK YEAH.
Giselle being the friend group slut and fucking owning it but doesn’t admit how she fell in love with Professor Dunbar.
“She’s too old for him”
“She’s too smart for him”
Giselle acting all cool in front of Professor Dunbar but...yeah.
BETTY FINALLY ADMITTING HER LIFE ISN’T ALL THAT PERFECT.
Bitch move for putting it out on Giselle.
But Giselle knew better. Lowkey the mother of the circle. LOL
BETTY’S POWER MOVE BY FILING A DIVORCE BECAUSE HER NO-GOOD OF A HUSBAND COULDN’T EVEN GIVE HER THE TIME OF DAY. He just fucking married her for the sake of being married. Didn’t even try at all with her.
BETTY’S FUCKING POWER MOVE STANDING UP TO HER MOTHER BY NOT MOVING BACK IN WITH HER FAMILY AND MOVING IN WITH GISELLE WHO HER MOTHER DISLIKES
and the plot twist that saved me...
Betty wanting to go to law school.
after giving Joan shit for even considering it
BETTY THE ONLY ONE CRYING WHILE THEY ALL BIKED CHASING AFTER KATHERINE WATSON’S CAR CAUSE KATHERINE DIDNT WANNA STAY I LOVE THAT
FUCK WOMEN WITH CLOSETED MISOGYNY
overall, i fucking LOVED this movie. i fucking loved it so so so much. this is the dark academia i’m looking for
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Kill Your Darlings (2013)
DISCLAIMER: This is not a review. I am in no way a professional at all to do a movie review. I am not a critic at all. The only reason why I’m doing this is because I used to talk to my dad a lot about movies. I can’t do that anymore.
I only found this movie from a tiktok about Dark Academia movies. I’ve seen stills and gifs of Daniel Radcliffe looking like that in a bunch of fan made videos of The Cursed Child. I’ve always wondered which movie they got it from. So I freaked out when I found it.
I didn’t expect anything at all. Cause I don’t usually watch trailers online or see reviews cause I like blind reacting to them.
(This is not in order)
This movie hit different. The pace was so quick I could already tell it was originally a book. (I noticed that movie adaptations of books usually run faster than most movies)
I loved the friendship that grew between the two. Lucien and Allen. They were honestly just a bunch of teenagers who wanted to break the stigma. Like every teenager in that era. Or every era.
Lucien being what Allen wanted to be.
Dane DeHaan sounding like Logan Lerman in Perks of Being a Wallflower with his American accent
The undeniable chemistry between the two. FROM THE MOMENT THEY MET I KNEW A ROMANCE WAS STIRRING UP.
THE CLOTHES. THE OUTFITS. OH GOD, THE OUTFITS.
Lucien and Allen trying to hang themselves. - why ???? is this what teenage boys do? the intellectuals, I guess. Bothered me a bit.
Allen taking drugs for the first time. Any movie with first time takers are always great. THAT SCENE WHERE EVERYONE JUST PAUSES AND THEY CAN CONTROL WHAT THE OTHERS DO. Yes, folks, that’s exactly what drugs do.
The fucking bond. THE FUCKING BOND. Tolkien (2019)??? Dead Poets Society (1989)????? The only way I like men is when they love each other and show it without any strand of hatred. Of course, they have to be intellectuals, do they?
Was Allen jealous of Jack cause he was Lucien’s ‘new favorite’??? What was up with that anyway?
But-ah-we really do realize it by the end how fucked up Lucien was, right? Not in a bad way. He really was fucked and just wanted security and love, really.
Which is why he couldn’t get away from David.
David was an old man pining on a young fucking boy??? WHAT THE FUCK. HOW FUCKED UP WAS THAT???? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? FUCKING FOLLOW HIM EVERY WHERE HE WENT? GAVE HIM A FUCKED UP IDEA OF LOVE RIGHT AFTER HIS DAD LEFT HIM? COME ON.
But I do hate how homophobia was so common in the times. We live in better times now, of course. It still isn’t perfect. But god, are you fucking kidding me???? FUCK HOMOPHOBIA GOD FUCKING DAMMIT HOW IS IT JUST MANSLAUGHTER IF THE MURDERER IS ALSO HOMOESEXUAL AND CHANGES IF HE ISNT WHAT THE FUCK
of course, the ending line was really nice. “Another lover hits the universe. The circle is broken. But with death comes rebirth. And like all lovers and sad people, I am a poet.” that made me cry
that’s it. i’m sorry i suck at this. of course i do. this is what it is for.
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