obxtourists

[obxtourists]

Cash or Credit

Me: That will be $16.01 Woman: *hands me a credit card but as I’m in the middle of running it...* Hold on, I have a penny. Me: Do you want me to cancel it? Woman: Of course not, I just don’t want all the change back. Me: .....? Woman: From the penny, I don’t want Ninety-nine cents back Me: But...you gave me a credit card. Woman: I know, and I’m giving you a penny so you don’t have to give me change back Me: Your card gets the exact amount, I don’t have to Woman: OMG how do I have to explain this to you. Take. The. Penny. And. Give. Me. A. Dollar Me: Ma’am. You gave me a card so you won’t be getting any change Woman: Why is it so hard for......wait....oh.............

[obxtourists]

Old Lady FTW

We had this kid running up and down the isles. It was like they gave him nothing but pixie sticks and redbull. And not a toddler, he was like...10. Several of us asked the parents and yelled at the kids something to the effect of no running in the store. But the kid didn’t care and the parent response was “He’s on vacation, just let him have fun!”

He was running down the isle with the toilet paper and there was this tiny little old lady. Right about the same time as he ran past, she reached out to grab a package of toilet paper...effective clotheslining the speed demon.

Kid fell, clutching his throat and coughing. 

We all assumed it was an accident...till the little old lady came up to the counter.

God, I hate little brats like that. His parents wouldn’t take care of it, so I fixed it for you.

<3

[obxtourists]

Is This A REAL Pharmacy?

I don’t know what it is about people and the island pharmacy. Today, we had a woman wander around for 45 minutes (keep in mind we’re not a large facility) before coming to the front counter...

Is this, like, a real pharmacy? Can doctors get you a prescription here and everything?

I wanted to tell her so badly, “No, we’re just a specialty band-aid store. Don’t mind the obvious counter in the back with the visible shelves of meds behind the window”

[obxtourists]

OMG! What do you mean it'll take 30 minutes to fill my amoxicillin?!?! Don't you people understand I could DIE before then?

tourist at the pharmacy

[obxtourists]

Angry Ginger Potato

I was talking with this really nice couple, while their little ginger haired child meandered around the shop...obviously impatient.

He comes up, interrupts the conversation by screaming....well...maybe a half demonic growl is more accurate. “HUNGRY!”

The father tries to soothe the child, and say just a minute more. The child proceeds to throw itself backwards and writhe on the floor. “Hungry HUUUNGRYYYY HUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNGGGGRRRRRRRYYYYYYY”

The mother is visibly afraid at this point of the writhing little soulless ginger potato on the floor. “We better get going before he starts to have a fit”

I’m sorry....before?  BEFORE?  What do you call it now?  Foreplay?

[obxtourists]

I had a woman buy a bath bomb today.  Because her unsupervised four year old grabbed it, unwrapped it, and took a big ol’bite out of it...then cried because it wasn’t chocolate.

[obxtourists]

I have a grass emergency!  It's really high, can you cut it now?!  But only where the outdoor shower is......nothing else......

[obxtourists]

Freshwater Ocean Water

Man1: Wanna do some fishing today?

Man2: Sure, how about some fresh water?

Man1: Yeah, that sounds great. We will take the boat out to the point

Man2: Fresh water at the point?

Man1: Yeah, that’s why it’s called the point.  It separates the fresh water in the ocean.

Rod & Gun Employee: Guys...that’s not entirely.....

Man1: Listen young man...I’ve been fishing here a long time.  I know where the fresh water points in the ocean are!

[obxtourists]

Behind the Political Scene

Every now and then I get some really cool visitors that talk to me about work.  One guy was serving as an assistant to someone serving in our Cabinet, I don’t want to say which office because I don’t want to out the guy in any way.

But he said that we’ve no idea just how screwed up most of our people on The Hill are.  He had a serious order in one meeting that was supposed to be on a very serious defense topic, that was to call Oprah and Bruce Willis, they better be on the line in twenty minutes.  His boss had an idea for a movie that needed to happen RIGHT NOW!

Or that they have to have staged interventions with their support staff because they honestly don’t have any connection to the idea that funds for their office can’t be used to finance another home.  Or you can’t fire someone because they’re black.

It was a horrifying look into behind the scenes.

I’d think he was making it up if it was the first time I’d heard such stories. O.o

[obxtourists]

Why do so many people walk in, look around for about a 30 seconds, then ask if we’re open?

[obxtourists]

Seashell Bones

Woman: What are these rings made out of?

Me: Seashell

Woman: So the bones of shells??

Me: Just seashell.....

Woman: Seashell bones?

Me: No, just......

Woman: *showing shell rings to her daughter* Look sweetie, these are made out of the bones of seashells!

[obxtourists]

Woman: Where can we get fireworks?

Me: Nowhere. They’re illegal on the island.

Woman: So...Avon?

Me: No. They’re illegal on the island.

Woman: Hatteras?

Me: No. They’re illegal on the island.

Woman: *increasingly upset* NAGS HEAD?

Me: They. Are. Illegal. Here.

Woman: But I told my son we could set some off on the beach!

Me: Not on this beach.

[obxtourists]

Lawn Care

Man: (comes out of the house next door) I don’t like that you’re cutting the grass while we’re on vacation

Me: Sorry, we just go where we’re told.  You can call the office if you really want to, but we’ve just got a list to go through.  We’ll be out of your way in about half an hour.

Man: But I’m on VA-CA-TION.  I don’t have to put up with a lawnmower making noise.

Me: Like I said, I just go where I’m told to go by the office.  We’ve got to cut the grass per the home owner’s request.

Man: Why can’t you do it when we’re gone?

Me: Sir, I’ve just got to cut the grass.  I’m just an employee doing what I’m told.  Please call the home office if you’re upset, the number is on the side of the truck.

He goes inside, few minutes later I hear him out on the porch.  Apparently my boss didn’t care that he was on vacation and didn’t like the lawnmower either.

[obxtourists]

I just don't understand why they put riptides outside our cottage!

Woman talking to her friends in grocery store

[obxtourists]

Small Talk

I normally strike up conversation with people browsing around the shop.

Me: So, what do you do back home?

Woman: Oh, I work at Kroger.  It’s a grocery store>

Me: *smiles* Yep, my uncle works at one. Which department are you in?

Woman: Um.....home?

Me:....so.....corporate side of things?

Woman: No....uh...inside.  Inside the store

Me: O_O?

[obxtourists]

12 year old boy walks up to an empty exhibit “Mom, what’s in here?” Mom goes up to the exhibit.

They both stare at this empty exhibit for several minutes before asking me what is in there.

“Nothing. Nothing is in the exhibit.  It hasn’t been filled yet”

They continue to stare...confused...at the empty case

[obxtourists]

I’m doing mold recovery in this one building.  I’ve got a tyvek and a respirator carrying trash to a huge pile outside.  This chick comes INTO the building and asks me if [shop name removed] is open.

What about being in protective wear says come on in?

I was called rude for not taking off my respirator and again for insisting that she leave.