ofalwaysyours

[ofalwaysyours]

@ofchaoticmuses

[ofalwaysyours]

Mary Oliver, from “Whelks”, The Truro Bear and Other Adventures: Poems and Essays

[ofalwaysyours]

You showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else. The Eras Tour — Foro Sol Stadium, Mexico City

[ofalwaysyours]

@ofchaoticmuses

FUBAR 1x04 | Armed & Dane-gerous

"A few years ago, I was stationed in Greece and I had a very passionate fling with a beautiful NIS officer named Diana, but we had to break it off. Diana was crushed. She became obsessed with me."

[ofalwaysyours]

9-1-1: Lone Star 🚨 2.12 - The Big Heat

[ofalwaysyours]

SABRINA CARPENTER at the Variety Hitmakers Brunch (December 02, 2023)

[ofalwaysyours]

Candice: yeah he told me the day it happened. then went to see her. i trust him but it just...sucks. Candice: i know but i guess i get what hes saying. its a big thing to not know Candice: ok now youre scaring me

Candice: she kissed z Candice: and hes mad at me Candice: i finally told him about the whole almost baby thing and it didnt go great and i just feel like shit about it all Candice: womanhood? like punching your boobies for daring to take up space on your chest?

[ofalwaysyours]

Lou was still in a good mood. It was a rare occurence but things were seeming to be on a bit of an upswing. He and Danielle were on the same page about quite a few things, he had worked things out with Harry, and he had a plan to keep that situation a permanent fixture in his life. There was nothing anyone could say right now that was going to drag him down. He feigns shock as he walks to see Zayn in the kitchen, a hand pressed to his chest. "Is that...no, it can't be. Is that the great Zayn Malik daring to darken my doorway with his presence?" he teased, hopping up to take a seat on the counter. "Thought you'd be busy romancing your actress. Or are you into washed up popstars these days? Hard to keep up with your life via pap photos, mate."

Holding in what he's been thinking of doing for awhile now wasn't doing him any good. If anything, it was just making him... intolerable. He needed to talk to someone about it. And that's what led Zayn to the front door of Louis' and Harry's apartment. He decided that he'd tell Harry first - out of the lot of them, he felt like Harry would be able to understand more than the rest. Harry possessed the same independence that Zayn had and it surprised the male that he hasn't yet to leave the band himself. He didn't bother knocking as he walked into the apartment (there wasn't anything he hasn't seen before). "Harry?" He calls, "Lou? Someone home?" And right away, Zayn made himself at home, grabbing himself a drink from the fridge while he waited. | @ofalwaysyours

[ofalwaysyours]

Candice: she kissed z Candice: and hes mad at me Candice: i finally told him about the whole almost baby thing and it didnt go great and i just feel like shit about it all Candice: womanhood? like punching your boobies for daring to take up space on your chest?

Candice: kali. and kind of zayn. and kind of joseph. and kind of me too. Candice: who am i fighting for you??

[ofalwaysyours]

"Oh, haven't you heard, darling? Mental health is such a small thing to sacrifice for piles of money," Lou teased, sarcasm dripping from his tone. This was his favorite part about Danielle, the part that he would never be able to give up. She had this calmness about her, one that made Louis feel completely at ease. It was easy to forget about the manipulation he was constantly forced to endure and the mental games he had to play with everyone else when he was with her. The taller man grinned into the kiss as she slipped into his embrace, holding her tightly for a few moments until her inquisitive nature got the best of her. A hand ran through his hair as he looked down to meet her gaze, sheepish smile on his just-kissed lips. "Harry came over to work things out the other night after the studio and ended up giving me quite the work out, is all." He sounded far more blasé than he felt, but he hoped that acting like it wasn't a huge deal would keep Dani calm.

"Oh, right." Danielle hums with a laugh, "Because working the worlds biggest boyband into the ground is just the way to go." It was safe to say that Danielle was not a fan of their label or management. From turning off mics during a concert, to controlling their personal lives and treating them as if they were robots. For the most part, she's bitten her tongue. But the moment their wellbeing was put into serious question, they'd hear it from her. Once the snowflake was successfully in place, Danielle was careful to make her way down the ladder, facing Louis then as her arms snaked around his waist, smile gracing her features before leaning up just a bit to kiss him. "Welcome home." She hums as she pulls back some. A brow raised then, Danielle knew Louis. Knew exactly when he was opening up something to discuss without outwardly saying it, "Recent events being...?"

[ofalwaysyours]

A wave of guilt washed over her as he mentioned the cameras that were out tonight, but she forced herself to keep that same tiny smile on her lips. "Yeah, I don't know what's going on with that," she lied easily, moving out of the way so that he can slip inside and closing the door behind him. Kali was grateful that he had kept his word about being there for her but now that he was actually in her hotel room, she wasn't quite sure how to speak to him. A lot had changed since the days that she would spend any and all extra time with the boys and the brunette was hardly the same person anymore. "How..." she started before clearing her throat and pushing on. "How was your day? How's Cathy?" The dig at Candice was intentional, of course. Kali knew that blonde's name but pretending she wasn't insanely jealous of the other girl helped her ego at least for a few minutes.

On his way over to Kali's, Zayn had to fight to not think about the fight (?) that he and Candice had previously had. If he was thinking clearly, he would have stayed home or went to the studio to work on some of his solo stuff, not go to the woman who had kissed him a mere couple days ago. Surely, that wouldn't have sent the best message to Candice. "Hey." He puts on a smile as Kali opens the door, "Sorry I'm late. The paps are vultures tonight." No way in hell was Zayn going to tell Kali about the fight he and Candice had.

[ofalwaysyours]

Candice: kali. and kind of zayn. and kind of joseph. and kind of me too. Candice: who am i fighting for you??

Candice: lol i was literally about to text you the exact same thing

[ofalwaysyours]

Louis had gotten used to Harry not coming home for days at a time when he had first started dating Eleanor. Back then, it has been Lou's inability to let the younger man know what was going on that had Harry fleeing the apartment but that had changed over the years. Now instead of running away from the confusion with Lou, he was running towards someone. Taylor. There was bitterness even in the tone that Louis thought her name. Dani was still asleep but Lou had been up for hours, thoughts running through his head about how to ask for what he wanted. There was only one solution to please all the parties involved and while it would take sacrifice on all sides, it was truly the only logical answer. He heard the door creak open and steeled himself before he went to investigate. A cocky smirk came over his lips as he saw Harry retreating from his bedroom door and he raised an eyebrow as the curly haired brunette walked towards him. "Back for round two already? Or would this be round four since we went three times that night?"

He didn't know where he was running to, or what exactly he was running from. It wasn't as if the male could run from himself, no, he was stuck with him as long as there was air in his lungs. He spent a few hours running around London, willing his mind to just... clear up. And another hour later, he's walking into the shared apartment with Louis. He was quiet as he walked in, it was still early and Harry had no doubt Louis and Danielle were sleeping. And there was that guilt again. Swallowing it down, Harry's feet carried him to Louis' room. Stop, stop, stop. The tiny voice repeated in his mind, yet Harry didn't stop. Quietly, he opens the door, pauses and thinks for a minute. He knew what was inside, Louis and Danielle, likely cozied up just as he was with Taylor not more than a few hours ago. A breath is loosed before he changes his mind, gently closing the door with a click. A shower, he needed to shower. Cold, hot, he didn't fucking care. Making his way to the bathroom, Harry looked up when he heard the padding of footsteps and hues met with Louis' in the dark hallway - "Did I wake you?" | @ofalwaysyours

[ofalwaysyours]

Candice: no not like that. more like in a 'ill get him away from her if its the last thing i do' kind of way. Candice: okay. good. thank you for being so kind and patient through this, baby. its more than i could have asked for.

Candice: i know its different but she scares me. the way she looks at you is not friendly Candice: well i wanna hear what you have to say. talk when we get home? a real talk?

[ofalwaysyours]

She was getting used to waking up next to an empty bed. At this point, she wondered why she didn't just sleep in the middle instead of saving space for someone who didn't want to stay. She sighed as she sat up and tried to push off the wave of rejection that washed over her when she found no note or text from Harry. Her stomach grumbled as she pushed to her feet, asking to be filled after yet another two days with only the occasional almond or olive as sustenance. Yet another feeling that she would choose to deliberately ignore. Things had been better since their fight a few days ago but Taylor still felt like she was walking on eggshells and waiting for the other shoe to drop. It wasn't Harry's fault, not really. Her notions of inadequacy far outdated his arrival into her life. The blonde hummed as she padded barefoot into the kitchen to pour herself a cup of coffee before taking her mug and heading into the studio. Even though there was still anxiety and resentment surrounding her relationship, she wouldn't deny that the 'I love you' part had been incredibly inspiring for her both emotionally and lyrically. Song after song seemed to flow from her pen these days and she grinned when she realized that the melody she had been humming fit perfectly to the lyrics she had written the night before. "I guess if I put his literal name as the title there won't be any guessing who it's about," she murmured to herself as the door creaked open and a familiar voice called out. "Studio!" she called back, turning after a few minutes to see him walk through the door. "Hi stranger. You were gone early. Almost wrote a whole track while you were gone."

Guilt, longing, grief, anger and even more guilt kept Harry awake at night while Taylor slept peacefully beside him. He inhales a deep breath, curls falling over his eyes as he looks to the sleeping beauty next to him. She was perfect, and him? Fuck, she deserved so much better than him. Gently, he runs the pad of his finger along her jawline, then down the slope of her nose and gently over the softness of her lips. Lips, Harry could get lost in kissing for hours if she allowed him. For a few long seconds, Harry's emerald hues stay on the blonde, the moonlight that cracked through the curtains casting upon her porcelain features. He gently moves closer to her, and in doing so, pulls her closer to him, pressing lips to her forehead before he rests his chin atop her head, fingers making lazy shapes in her skin. "You have no idea how much I love you." The words were quiet in the night, and Harry knew she was asleep but he said it anyways. The love coated his tone, but mixed in there was the guilt and the grief that he kept to himself. His hand flattens on the low of her back, running along her hips, then to her stomach. "So, so much." The words were a whisper before placing another kiss to her head. And gently, Harry moved from the bed hoping to not wake her up in the midst. He had too much on his mind, and he needed to go for a run. Getting changed into his workout clothes, Harry quietly made his way out of the house and went for a run. He didn't know how much time had passed until he's walking back into her place, "Love? Are you awake?" | @ofalwaysyours

[ofalwaysyours]

Candice: lol i was literally about to text you the exact same thing

Danielle: Please tell me you're free to talk. @ofalwaysyours

[ofalwaysyours]

Luke was equally blessed and burdened by his proximity to the A-listers of London. The blessing part was obvious; they were the ones with money to throw and most of them loved to spend it on the blow that he had means to access. The burden was less apparent and it had everything to do with Alice. There wasn't a lot left in life for him to love, but she was certainly the one person that he would drop everything to protect. He disapproved of her attendance at the studio a few nights before simply because he knew just how much she valued her anonymity. Luke's own attendance at such events, even if it was as the guy that they all met on the street afterwards, was enough to threaten Allie being recognized but her actually going inside with the ginger? It was a bold move, one that he would lecture her about for weeks to come. The party tonight was luckily not one his cousin was in attendance for and he wouldn't last much longer his damn self. Eyes locked with Sydney's and he couldn't help but smirk. She seemed to keep popping up around him these days but this time she didn't carry that same air of entitled confidence. "It's always about business, love. Ain't much that brings a guy like me pleasure other than a warm bed for the evening and a fat wad of cash in my pocket." He was tempted to turn down her request simply because she was the one asking, but something in her eyes made him turn off that usual abrasiveness and sit next to her. "How is it that someone as fit as you always seems to be off on her own?"

She wouldn't say she was a bad influence but she wasn't a good influence either. She started working at the age of twelve in an independent film that was filmed in her hometown alongside her brother, and from there she grew to love it. Even made up a five year business plan to convince her parents to let her pursue this career. And from then on, she's been throwing herself into every project, walking red carpets, being dubbed as a sex symbol - but she wanted to have fun to. Hence the excessive parties, and the drugs that mostly accompanied it. Though from time to time, Sydney just wanted to chill. She was invited to a party and while she wouldn't partake in the drugs part of it, she would indulge in some drinks here and there. Sat by the poolside, drink in hand, Sydney's hues followed the noises of screaming and a splash - someone had gotten thrown into the pool, and with them, went a handful of people. Hues moved from the scene and landed on Luke. "Here for the party or business?" A perfect brow arches. However, her eyes caught movement behind Luke and she zoned in, teeth sinking into the flesh of her cheek. A dedicated fan? A crazy stalker? She didn't know, but she did know that they always seemed to be wherever she was. "Why don't you have a seat? I'm sure your customers can wait." She returns her gaze to Luke, keeping her face set in a calm, and by the God's she hoped he could read the look in her eyes as she silently pleaded he stay for a few. | @ofalwaysyours