offscriptoverwatch

[offscriptoverwatch]

Nick of Time

Mondatta: So how's this? Step one, travel back in time and not make such a mess of things.

Zenyatta: You know, I'm suddenly reminded of why I wanted you dead in the first place. 

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Hey Icebabe?

Junkrat: Now, I'm not one to get into the feels, usually, but... you seem genuinely distressed. You okay? Do you want to--I don't know--chat about it or something? Sex is always on the table.

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Embrace The Iris.

Hanzo: What in God's name are you doing here?

Zenyatta: Nothing in His name. Here on my own, actually.

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My Eyes Don’t Lie?

Sombra: I think you like me.

Reaper: What part of the look on my face gives you that impression? 

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They Represent I Was Hot.

Jack Morrison: So, are you available for Tuesday, or are you gonna be too busy masturbating to old pictures of yourself?

Reyes: I told you, that's not what was happening that time. I was masturbating to what the picture represented! You walked in at the worst possible moment.

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Have You Ever Milked a Cow?

Reyes: You sleep on my couch and you don't pay rent. I've had tapeworms that are less parasitic. I don't even remember why I let you stay with me in the first place.

Jesse McCree: Because my parents kicked me out and I had nowhere to go, and even though you don't want anyone to know it—

[Reyes turns on the blender for Jesse to finish his sentence before turning it off]

Jesse: ...you secretly have a good heart.

Reyes: You told me they didn't approve of your "alternative lifestyle". I thought you were, like, a troubled gay teen or something. I didn't realize by "alternative lifestyle" that you meant you were lazy.

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Ready for Bed, Gerard?

Widowmaker: If we looked for everyone who tried to kill you, we'd do nothing else.

[offscriptoverwatch]

Now Get Me Some Tacos!

Reaper: If you don't do what I want, then I will rain hell down upon you until one of us is dead, and I am really, really good at raining down hell.

[offscriptoverwatch]

Anyone Got a Hose?

Baptiste: [V.O.] Anyone who has handled large amounts of cash can tell you it's one of the toughest things in the world to move. It's heavy and dense; dead weight. If it's on fire, of course, that complicates things further.

[offscriptoverwatch]

Meet Ana part 2

Jack Morrison: If I lose my pension, you're gonna be changing my diapers when I'm 95 and drooling.

Ana: Jack, I would never let that happen. I'd smother you with a pillow first.

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Stick Around

Sombra: [V.O.] Guns make you stupid; better to fight your wars with duct tape. Duct tape makes you smart.

[offscriptoverwatch]

Genji, Call Moira Please.

Jesse McCree: Alright! Let's have a drink.

Genji: Are you sure you should drink in your condition?

Jesse: Ah shut up. The alcohol will disinfect me from the inside!

Genji: Ha ha, that sounds like good medicine!

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Protein Bites

Pharah: We cannot have a baby in the house! My mother's coming.

Brigette: Does she eat them?

[offscriptoverwatch]

We Are Not Friends

Moira: The eyes are the windows to the skull, my friend.

Reaper: Soul.

Moira: For those who have one, yes.

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I Shoulda Gotten First

Reyes: I took third place in the costume contest last year.

Moria: Really? What was your costume?

Reyes: Motorcycle enthusiast.

Jesse McCree: Gay biker.

[offscriptoverwatch]

Mine is Lion King

Doomfist: What was the saddest movie you ever saw?

Vialli: Oh, Wall Street, where that guy loses all the money.

[offscriptoverwatch]

Venice part 20

Genji: Okay, so the most important thing to remember is that we stick together, right? We are a unit. They take all of us, or they take none of us.

Reyes: [walking in] Okay people, let's go to Plan B. It's every man for himself!