offtothepictures

[offtothepictures]

mamma mia! (2008) - part 1

mamma mia! is a musical starring meryl streep and amanda seyfried (post-mean girls but pre-les mis), in which seyfried’s character sophie discovers she has three potential dads and invites all three of them to her wedding on an idyllic greek island. got all that? and the best and DEFINITELY most important aspect? it’s allllll ABBA songs baby. talk about culture clash (1970s sweden vs 2008 greece? actually we’ll come to the 2008 part later). it’s cheesy and raucous and loud and sweet and an utter riot of joy, and the only musical my best friend actually doesn’t hate. and his excuse for hating musicals is that they’re cheesy so i think someone needs to work on their argument.

hi everyone! so love island has finished, i’ve just got back from holiday to torrential rain – thanks england – and meryl streep owns my ass, so before i go and see mamma mia! here we go again a gazillion more times (and meet the director AGHHHHH yes that’s actually happening) i’m gonna review the first one! bear in mind that i’ve seen this film literally 100 million times please. i can’t actually stress how much i adore this film and it’s my comfort film that i watch when I’m sad or ill or tired or bored in history. i’ll pick holes in the technical aspects of it but just know that i would die for this film. got it? lets go.

visually, it’s a pretty film. nothing toooo wild or groundbreaking (like florals for spring) but it’s saturated and dusty and bright and 100% suits the tone and setting of the film. it also has a softness and realness to it that i feel we don’t get anymore from hollywood in 2018 – if a film isn’t crisp and chockablock with cgi and visual effects, then it’s not making bank, and that includes you, new mamma mia. from a glance at this film, you know it’s set in the mediterranean. also the faded and bright quality of the film evoke some of the 70s imagery, not only of ABBA but of donna’s (meryl streep) past.

the costumes are also gorgeous and so camp and bright and cheesy! mamma mia! knows what film it is and keeps itself campy and cheesy without skimping on quality, and this is especially prevalent in the disco costumes, particularly super trouper and the end credits (which are oscar worthy in themselves lets be honest)

so I know it was originally a west end musical and having source material makes screenwriting easier, but i love the way the songs are worked in. nothing feels forced and once again, the crew didn’t have to compromise on quality by changing most of the words, which is a relief to the avid ABBA fan. and yes, this is a complaint i’ll revisit in my mamma mia! here we go again review.

why does sophie go post her letters on the mainland at midnight? did she sneak out? didn’t donna or sky question this?

also this will come up again a bit later but why do they have to shoot night scenes during the day and then try to colour correct? It’s just PAINFUL. can’t y’all shoot at night? jesus. also this is my theory as to why they cut the name of the game later in the film with bill and sophie – because it looked like shite!!!

this is EVIDENTLY SHOT DURING THE DAY CAN’T Y’ALL EVEN TRY?! THAT IS FUCKING SUNLIGHT BUT I GUESS MAYBE I’M WRONG AND THAT’S NOT HOW LIGHT WORKS

I ALWAYS THOUGHT THE SONG WAS “I’M TALL I’M TALL I’M TINY” BUT I GUESS I’M WRONG also i love that being ‘tough’ is this scottish girl’s quantifier in her friendship group. is that racist? smh mamma mia u ain’t woke

you know what isn’t fucking mentioned once in mamma mia 2? (yes i am already sick of typing out the whole damn name so this is what you get) BILL’S ICONIC EYE TATTOOS. okay butch count olaf i see u sweetie

did they hire christine baranski before or after this line was written? because either way that’s…………. savage

this is 1000000% a whole ass reach but is sophie wearing three little stars on her necklace to represent her dads? Because that’s some adorable shit right there

this is still the coolest scene transition ever imo

okay why have they got sophie doing these anime-ass gasps when she sees her dads for the first time lmao

QUESTION: how did sophie meet her two friends? did they stay on the island? this IS a question i’ll be asking director of mamma mia! here we go again ol parker when i see him in two weeks. also WHERE ARE THEY IN THE SECOND MOVIE FFS

and on that note how does sophie know sky?

sooooo this film is supposedly set in 2000? if sophie is born in 1980 according to the second mamma mia film…… so sky is setting up a website for donna in 2000? i did some research trying to trip the film up for not actually being set in 2000 when it was released but i can’t find anything incriminating. just know….. that i know the truth. you can’t hide from me phyllida lloyd.

Is aunt sophia dead?

the guy who hits on tanya does have a name and it is pepper. i was initially wondering why it wasn’t mentioned in the film but now i guess i know why. also it is shouted at him at some point in the second act but i guess i just thought they were….. hurling abuse?? idk

the level of innuendo in this film that completely went over my head as an 8-year-old is unreal

also shoutout to my friend hannah for not realising harry is gay even though he basically says it. and makes out with a dude. and sings take a chance on me to him which is honestly the most convincing part. love you han x

harry’s greek boyfriend is actually called petros or smth but he looks like a fabio so we’re calling him fabio

okay here’s where we’ll leave part 1!! keep ya peepuhs peeled (not ya noggin. god that’s quite the reference) for part 2!!

[offtothepictures]

a miniature bond marathon (consisting of only the last two films because i don’t like action movies)

g’day friends!! today we’ve got a double whammy!! lucky you!!! this review is brought to you by An Obsession With Ben Whishaw And Therefore An Incessant Need To Watch Everything He’s Ever Been In and its fellow sponsor I Don’t Like Action Movies and It’s 2am So I’m Gonna Half Watch Both Of These Films (god if only i got paid for this but alas. still a broke bitch. anyway enjoy reading, i’m off to walk the dog and watch love island)

skyfall

we all know i’m exclusively here for ben whishaw

okay and maybe judi dench

omg RALPH FIENNES IS IN THIS MY PRINCE

weird seeing him with a nose frankly

m. gustave?

that’s too much nose ralph

AHHH MY GAY SON HE’S HERE

hair looks banging

he’s got the most gorgeous voice ever

BOND THAT’S GAY

ooooh mr silva that’s gay

“what makes you think it’s my first time” AHHHHAHAHAHA

i’m giving skyfall a 7/10!! considering i get bored watching action movies it was interesting, sustained my attention and was gorgeously shot. also love a sufficiently creepy javier bardem (cough cough jeffrey dean morgan with an accent). loses points for killing off a great character. and giving ralph fiennes a nose.

spectre

andrew scott!! ben whishaw!!! so much gay energy i’m living

is that..... flirting from q there??

q is really putting the q in q-tie pie

the most ridiculous part of james bond is that we’re supposed to believe that daniel craig is an internationally recognised sex icon

can you STOP making out with this woman she hasn’t given consent and also like,,, you just shot her husband

q is dressed like an absolute gay icon

fisherman jumper and hipster glasses?? sign me the fuck up

wait if q is scared of heights what the fuck is he doing in a ski lift or a cable car or whatever the fuck

oh it’s that gal from blue is the warmest colour

did the director just go “bring me all the gays” 

because it sure seems like it

don’t remember the end of spectre but it gets a 6/10. every one of those points is there for andrew scott and ben whishaw. can’t remember the plot but i do remember a lot of helicopters so if you’re a copter fanatic.... go crazy i guess?

[offtothepictures]

the first half of the perks of being a wallflower (2012): some thoughts

- i’d die for ezra miller

- WOW logan lerman is wearing a lot of makeup

- is this why i’ve always thought he’s a bit rubbery looking??

- oh hi paul rudd forgot you were here

- NO ONE FUCKING ACTS LIKE THIS IN HIGH SCHOOL DEAR GOD

- “yes sir” to your dad? is this an american thing??? i blame trump 😤😳🤬👎

- and we’re supposed to believe that nina dobrev is..... 17?

- are you SERIOUS?? they shoved charlie in a closet for doing his homework???

- i’m just here for the gays honestly

- ah! and here they are now

- god ezra miller’s SEXY

- emma watson’s american accent is actually abominable

- mae west pisses me off beYOND belief. i think it’s because of the DUFF

- “things sound so much better on vinyl” oookaaayy

- ughhh they’re all so fucking pretentious

- THEY HAVEN’T HEARD OF HEROES?!?!?!

- ezra miller as rocky is my sexual renaissance

- this is a gays only event everyone else go home i’m looking EXCLUSIVELY at you hermione

[offtothepictures]

chicago (2002)

chicago is the story of two murderesses (velma kelly and roxie hart) set in 20s chicago (duh). it’s a musical so bye everyone who just checked out!! the songs are sexy, smoky vintage jazz and the cast BANGS (auntie tanya from mamma mia anyone?) it’s funny and showy and bursting at the seams with glamour but most importantly it doesn’t take itself too seriously. also catherine zeta-jones got an oscar for this movie so if that doesn’t sell it to you i honestly don’t know what will

allow me to preface this review by saying: if you haven’t seen chicago yet, get in the bin

seriously go watch chicago

it will make you want to kill a man with a stiletto whilst dragging on a cigarette

okay now that we’ve got that out of the way, chicago:

can we PLEASE talk about how hot catherine zeta-jones is?? even with THAT haircut. she is the only person on god’s green earth who can pull that off

DOMINIC WEST I LOVE YOU AND YOU ARE PAINFULLY UNDER-UTILISED IN EVERYTHING (also in my head he is andrew scott’s husband and nothing can unravel that connection) (also side note could he not be dominic cooper’s dad. like they have the same face. and name. sorry distracted)

ahh. renee Zellweger. she’s cool! she’s fine! she’s bridget jones! she just…….. has a very tense face. are we meant to be rooting for her in this? because roxie is low-key a bitch.

‘and all that jazz’ is SUCH a banger. and is interestingly one of the two diegetic songs in the film (idk if we count ‘but I can’t do it alone’)

on that note, let’s talk about the film’s use of diegetic music! lindsay ellis did a really interesting video on diegesis in film so check that out for a MUCH better explanation but essentially, diegesis is anything that happens within the premise of the film (i.e. ‘and all that jazz’ actually is sung by velma kelly in the film at the club). on the other hand, non-diegetic music is any music that does not actually happen within the confines of the story. this is the default for music in film – most soundtracks are non-diegetic as there usually isn’t ACTUALLY a 50 piece orchestra sitting camera right (sorry, titanic).

chicago uses the theory of diegesis pretty uniquely, as most musicals do operate on a non-diegetic system (the musical numbers are usually metaphorical and don’t tend to require explanation within the film). by contrast, chicago does provide an explanation for the non-diegetic musical numbers: they’re happening in the protagonist’s head as her way of coping. this really WORKS because it not only makes the film both stand out and make more sense, but also adds another layer to roxie’s character and reaffirms her obsession and dreams of stardom. go movie.

john c. reilly is that dude that has been in every film under the sun and you still have no idea what his name is

okay let’s address the elephant in the room:

the SINGING

catherine is killing the damn game holy calzone triple threat who???? hot damn

renee zellweger! okay i see you girl! doing The Most™! we get it calm down you’ll pop a damn vein

queen Latifah could push me into a volcano chanting ancient cult hymns and I’d climb out again just to hear her finish that woman has a VOICE (also how gorgeous my lord she just glows)

richard gere is a sexy, sexy man. i don’t care what you say about his singing i’ll just stare at his face and pretend i can’t hear

who else sings um

oooh the CELL BLOCK TANGO

okay but like?? none of those characters ever come back again?

byeeeee

also 5 of them literally caught their husbands cheating or whatever and the first lady shot him twice for CHEWING GUM

like i get it’s annoying but overkill?

anyway I think between chicago and moulin rouge we’ve proved that every good movie needs a tango (honestly could have saved tlj don’t @ me :) rian johnson u listening?)

in ‘all I care about is love’ how does he get those boxers off in one swipe?? get u a man like that

remind me why billy took the case for less than half his asking price? what changed his mind?

i love the aesthetic of this film but i feel like they really could have pushed it further and made it sexier and smokier and glitzier soz

that LUCY LIU cameo yum

czj’s accent omfg she’s WELSH GUYS she’s actually magic

i actually really liked how every set looked like a set (let’s face it the prison looked as real as a £3 note) – it really tied in to the whole performance and entertainment and just general SHOW vibes of the film. good job

roxie u SNEAKY BINCH with that pregnancy story

‘we both reached for the gun’ is high key super creepy (giant puppeteer richard gere anyone) but such a cool concept

ohh that was a BOOB GRAB

RICHARD NO

... richard yes?

you know what’s sad? this film was nominated for thirteen oscars in 2002. it won six. including best picture. and you just KNOW that it wouldn’t even win like…… hair and makeup now. why do pictures have to be arty and subtle to win oscars?? like i get indies are often better quality and more original but you can still get amazing big budget studio movies. just a thought.

the closing number is an absolutely perfect ending for this film – it’s satisfying and slick and cut throat

anyway chicago is an absolute riot and makes for super fun viewing so I’m giving it:

8/10

(it was well made, good acting, fun story and just an absolute blast to watch and listen to!! loses points for not giving dominic west enough to do (your problem not mine) and for roxie being just the most annoying goddamn ‘’’’’protagonist’’’’’ ever)

SPOILERS (it won’t let me put two cuts ffs tumblr what are u doing)

can we please talk about the seismic tonal shift that was the execution of the innocent hungarian lady? it was an incredible sequence but felt really out of place and i wasn’t 100% sure why it stayed in? i guess it was to strike fear into the audience that that could happen to roxie buuuuuut…… let’s be real we couldn’t give a flying MONKEY’S about what happens to roxie (to quote demi: sorry not sorry) 

[offtothepictures]

lilting (2014)

lilting tells the story of a chinese mother, junn, grieving for the death of her son kai whilst also reproachful at being put in a care home, for which she blames her son’s “close friend” (i would say *wink wink* but this film is tragic read the room). it’s set in england and looks at cultural differences and grief and connection after tragedy. ben whishaw plays richard, kai’s boyfriend, and his performance is absolutely heartbreaking. i don’t want to say believable because that just doesn’t have the power to describe the performance. richard attempts to connect with junn in the wake of kai’s death. it’s honest and sweet and THE FLASHBACKS OH MAN. butterflies. and tears. molto molto tears.

me literally 14 minutes into this film:

some fun n funky points:

can someone explain why it’s called lilting? thanks x

seriously. what about it is lilting. why is it called that. literally my one confusion (AMERICA ESSPLAIN)

also can we all agree the cover is a little weird. a little matrixy. idk i havent seen the matrix

kai is a HUNKY MONKEY get it ben!!! 

the editing is offbeat and fresh, in some places possibly confusing? there was one moment where i wasn’t sure if there was a glitch, but then the same thing happened towards the end of the film and seemed a little more deliberate so idk. lots of cool scene transitions.

the colouring is desaturated and muted which could have become boring, but it’s used carefully and beautifully to subtly differentiate the past from the present whilst representing junn’s loss of vitality and relish for life in the boring care home.

the mandarin!! i studied mandarin in school and really appreciated and relished the easy way it’s spoken in the film. often when british people are confronted with foreign languages they assume superiority but this film handled the language differences so interestingly and lovingly, and the language barriers comprised a huge part of the movie.

and to go with the mandarin! the way the film handled cultural differences and racial stereotypes in general was fascinating! it really delved into generational differences in british-asian families and looked at interactions between cultures and the reluctance that can be found there.

ooh ooh ohh and the subtitles were used so carefully! so basically richard hires a translator to interpret conversation between him and kai’s mother junn (and also junn’s hot piece of ass alan waHEEEY) and once vann (the translator) enters the film, they stop using subtitles and let us feel the same as richard: hearing the mandarin and watching the conversations transpire emotionally, without having control of the conversation. we also become reliant on vann as an audience member in the same way richard does.

subtitles are used at the beginning when junn and kai are together, or towards the end in junn’s monologue. beautifully done and not overused. they could have tried to make it easy and plain for a british audience but kept the heart and truth of the story. a*.

kai is fit  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

did I already say that

oh well He Is

 i was R E A L L Y worried they’d make the female translator vann, a friend of richard’s, into a love interest for him. now listen. i’m as bi as they come. love me a bi love story. i just didn’t want the film to move away from kai and richard’s love story because that WAS the focus.

(spoiler: it didn’t, they were just really good friends with a great emotional support system for each other… bonus points all round well done movie ya done good)

excellent writing and dialogue!! it never got boring but more importantly it wasn’t written with cheesy hollywood dialogue. thank jesus. i watched ‘the normal heart’ (2014) the night before (review coming soon) and it was great!! but at some points the dialogue was a little painful. a little.... how u say.... cliché. in this movie, everything that was said would actually be said by a real person!! well done movie!!

*thumping table rhythmically* I! WOULD! DIE! FOR! BEN! WHISHAW!

what a wonderful thing this film did. it didn’t feel obliged to give us a forced back story and whole explanation for kai and richard’s relationship. no origin stories here (COUGH COUGH MARVEL). it presented them as two people in love, some cheeky flashbacks, but at the same time we as an audience could understand why they were together! there was so much love there. i hate talking about ~chemistry~ because I only got a B (boom boom) and because it gets thrown around by film people ALL THE DAMN TIME but these two…. we saw two characters in love. we didn’t have to be told.

the way flashbacks were used: good! not too much, maybe too little?? (im just a huge sucker for romance so more richard and kai together would be just fine by me :)) there was a narrative within the flashbacks too, they weren’t just used to support the metanarrative. good stuff. also (without spoilers) a lil bit twisty. adds interest without too much confusion.

i. cried. a. lot.

so much.

maybe not as much as the normal heart.

actually maybe just as much.

the only conscious thought i had about this movie outside of being absorbed in the film was that i REEEEEALLY didn’t want it to end. there was a dare i say iconic moment where i reluctantly checked how much time was left, and, seeing still 45 minutes, genuinely muttered aloud, “oh thank GOD”

what a beautiful work of art.

i was so lucky to find a film which explores all relationships: lovers and parents and friends and widows and strangers reaching out to each other

watch the damn film.

10/10 

(frickkk i didnt wanna look like a pussy and give my first review a 10 but. u gotta do what u gotta do. live ya life yolo)