ofhell

[ofhell]

// inhales. would anyone here be interested in PWYW commissions? literally just “tell me how much you wanna spend and what you want and I’ll figure it out” kinda commissions ?

[ofhell]

This shouldn't be possible.

Sure, Lucifer will take the small victories where he can get them — no one else being here to witness the angel staring back at him from across the Embassy's table, namely — but this? This is anything but a victory.

This is a fucking corruption, a chink in the damn universe, something so perversely wrong the very essence of Lucifer's being aches from it.

                                   What have they done to you? 

❝ — hah, right, yeah. I get that a lot, you know, about my uh — my looks. ❞ A lie, and by Father the King can't help the grimace marring his own face. There's no denying their resemblance, so...

                                    Why hide the truth from him? 

Why, indeed.

What a fucking question —

— one Lucifer's determined to ignore for now.

❝ Star it is, then. ❞ This meeting hasn't even officially started, but Lucifer's already exhausted; he's unwilling and unable to look away from this fractured version of himself — yet tragically desperate to be free of the knowledge such a thing even exists.

Fucking Heaven.

❝ Hah, anyway, you can just call me Lucifer. I'm sure the feathery fucks upstairs told you all about me before sending you down here, yeah? ❞

If only this were some kind of cosmic joke.

❝ So... um. Star, right? ❞ Fuck, he shouldn't be doing this — shouldn't be probing — but since when has Lucifer ever done what would be best for himself? ❝ You're...new. Usually they send someone else, so...what's your usual gig upstairs? Why are they sending you here only now? ❞

Lucifer is many things — unintelligent isn't one of them. He knows this has something to do with the Extermination Deal he's demanded to re-write; only, what game is Heaven playing at, sending him a version of himself to work with? 

 ❝ Look, we can just make this simple. I know neither of us want to be at this meeting, so let's just...um, what is it they say? Cut to the chase, right. Yeah! Anyway, I propose that there be no more exterminations while the hotel's longevity and success is studied. If souls can be redeemed, why the fuck would Heaven want to kill them? Redeemed souls would actually help their numbers, so...I'm not getting the resistance here, other than the fact that all of them up there are so obsessed with never changing anything. Father forbid they're ever wrong, am I right? ❞ 

starter call ( @ofhell )

❝  YOU  LOOK  so  …  oh.  gosh.  ❞

❝  I  …  well,  hi  !  i'm  the  morning  star,  but  most  people  just  call  me  star  ?  or  morning.  but  I  think  that's  more  of  a  greeting,  anyway.  you  know  -  ‘  'mornin,  star  !  ’  kind  of  …  yeah .   ❞

[ofhell]

BLOOD RELATED PROMPTS

requested by my bestie 

WORDS: 

“  is that your blood?  ”

“  woah—  hold up you’re bleeding.  ”

“  your bandages— you’re bleeding through them.  ”

“  shit,  i think i pulled my stitches.  ”

“  i’ll make them bleed for this.  ”

“  a little blood never never hurt anyone.  ”

“  why the fuck is there blood on the carpet?  ”

“  your nose is bleeding.  ”

“  you can make me bleed all you want,  i’ll never scream for you.  ”

“  you don’t understand,  i had to do it.  i had to kill them.  ”

“  stop fussing— this isn’t my blood.  ”

“  i did what was necessary.  ”

“  why are you bleeding?  what happened?  ”

“  who hurt you?  why is there blood all over you?  ”

“  i think you’ll look quite pretty when you bleed.  ”

“  who did you kill?  whose blood is that?  ”

“  i’m not usually a sadistic sort of person,  but i will take pleasure in spilling your blood.  ”

“  i don’t actually enjoy killing.  it’s messy.  the blood gets everywhere.  it’s just necessary sometimes.  ”

“  it looked kind of beautiful in a fucked up sort of way.  blood on snow.  the kind of thing you usually only see in stories.  ” 

“  i can’t get it off—  i can still feel it on me!  ”

“  just calm down.  breathe.  i’ll take care of this.  ”

“  hold still— you’ve got blood on your face.  ”

“  why is there blood on your knife?  ”

“  oh,  it’s just a little bit of blood.  don’t nutsack out.  ”

“  i’m going to drain every ounce of your blood.  nice and slow.  like you deserve.  ”  

“  i’ll kill anyone who ever makes you bleed again.  ”

“  your/their blood is just too pretty to keep inside.  ”

“  there’s something fascinating about blood.  it’s captivating. ”

“  blood of the covenant is thicker than water of the womb.  ”

“  you made me bleed on my shirt—  i fucking loved this shirt!  ”

“  leave me alone,  it’s shark week and i got blood on my sheets.  ”

“  should i be concerned about why there’s blood in the sink?  ”

“  do i ask questions or do i just help you clean up all this blood?  ”

ACTIONS: 

[ ALONE ]  for sender to show up on receiver’s doorstep covered in blood. 

[ ARRIVE ] for receiver to show up on sender’s doorstep covered in blood. 

[ CLEANSE ] for sender to find receiver trying to clean blood off themselves. 

[ DISCOVER ] for receiver to find sender trying to clean blood off themselves. 

[ AID ] for sender to help receiver clean blood off themselves. 

[ ERASE ] for receiver to help sender clean blood off themselves. 

[ ESCAPE ] for sender to find receiver after they’ve killed someone. 

[ SEEN ] for receiver to find sender after they’ve killed someone. 

[ HELP ] for sender to clean up the aftermath of receiver’s crime. 

[ ACCEPT ] for receiver to clean up the aftermath of sender’s crime. 

[ FOUND ] for sender to discover receiver covered in blood. 

[ EXPOSE ] for receiver to discover sender covered in blood. 

[ ATTACK ] for sender to stab or shoot receiver. 

[ WOUNDED ] for receiver to stab or shoot sender. 

[ BROKE ] for sender to punch receiver hard enough their nose bleeds. 

[ INJURE ] for receiver to punch sender hard enough their nose bleeds. 

[ WITNESS ] for sender to see receiver get hurt enough to bleed.  

[ WATCH ] for receiver to see sender get hurt enough to bleed. 

[ RETALIATE ] for sender to make receiver’s attacker bleed. 

[ DEFEND ] for receiver to make sender’s attacker bleed. 

[ SURVIVE ] for sender to realize receiver is bleeding after getting through a fight. 

[ FABRIC ] for receiver to realize sender is bleeding after getting through a fight. 

[ofhell]

Sam. 

It isn’t a name Lucifer associates himself with anymore, and Michael’s casual utterance of it sees the King physically recoiling.

❝ — don’t, ❞ he finally manages to speak as one of his hands pulls at his shirt — as if the slight relief of the fabric’s pressure will allow for easier breathing —

                          ( wishful thinking, that )

 ❝ — don’t call me that. It’s Lucifer. ❞

It isn’t a correction done out of malice; it’s self-preservation, for he can’t risk falling apart here. 

                             Not now, not here — not in front of him.

❝ A little different? ❞ It’s perhaps the understatement of the century — no, of the King's entire existence, because Lucifer has always been an anomaly; he belonged to neither Heaven nor Hell, perpetually existing in a place of limbo as the only being of its kind. ❝ You know better than anyone how understated that is. I didn’t even get a similar name, Mike. I was ostracized by everyone except for you and some of the lesser angels because they didn’t know any better — they just basked in the light and joy I’d bring them; but our brothers? ❞

The thought of the other archangels isn’t pleasant; it sees something ugly twisting within Lucifer’s chest, the hand above his heart suddenly pressing down harder as if to keep himself together. 

                                  Don’t cry, for fucks’ sake. Don’t cry.

❝ What is the point of saying this now? ❞

Everything Michael is saying is true — or had been, once upon a time — until that day.

                       That fucking day.

A day that changed everything, that had rocked the very foundations Lucifer had allowed his essence to be built upon.

❝ I made my choice as you made yours. Sure, you encouraged me — but who was the one to officially condemn me? ❞

This isn’t a topic he’d expected to stumble upon, but no matter — better to get it out in the open, right? To get it over with as quickly as he can because Lucifer can’t stand sitting in this emotion for too long.

                  Betrayal burns.

❝ I trusted you more than anyone. You were everything to me. And I blamed you, I really did, for so fucking long, Mike...but I understood, too. You were always better than me at…being what Heaven needed. You did your job, expelled a threat, got rid of the pariah that threatened Heaven’s foundations. I questioned too much, I created things without asking, and I don’t regret it. I don’t regret giving these people the freedom of choice; I only regret how some choose to do terrible things with my gift. ❞

He lives with that regret each and every day, forced to see the worst of humanity again and again until he keeps himself up at night, drowning in the guilt of it.

                      Ah – speaking of. 

Lucifer’s eyes flit down to the very injury he’s asking to patch up, his twin’s worry over such a small wound almost making him laugh — surely Michael understands Lucifer has been through far worse, right? The blackened arms and legs he sports are proof enough of that.

A small cut from a blade is hardly worth thinking about; yet the concern does see the King softening, his free hand brushing over the ichor-stained skin. 

If Michael is so concerned about this, it’s harrowing to think about how he’d react to what Lucifer does on his worst nights.

Best not bring that up now, just as the King won’t push the other for answers he’d asked for.

                  All in good time, then.

❝ If this small injury truly bothers you, you may. ❞

To be cared for is something he hasn’t felt in…well, too long, and that’s something he doesn’t want to dwell on currently. Lilith and him had been separated for far longer than anyone knew, and that essence deep ache her departure left…it still burns.

He’s never enough — not as an angel, as a brother, as a son, as a devil, as a father, as a husband —

A clear of his throat and a sharp, near-violent shake of his head is what dispells the intrusive thoughts. Still, his free hand finds its way to his hair and pulls without his say-so, the small pin-pricks of pain helping to ground him as the injured arm extends for his twin to examine.

❝ Do you really think I don’t care about you? ❞ It couldn’t be farther from the truth, though admitting it is — well, difficult doesn’t even begin to cover it, but fuck it. They’re already here, they’ve already gotten this far — why stop now? 

                 Lucifer’s always loved too much; and it’s always been his undoing.                    You give so much of yourself, my Son. I’m afraid you’ll burn up with it, Star. I'm afraid you'll burn out.

                          Hah. As if his Father hadn’t known, hadn’t planned it.

           — yet another topic he doesn’t want to dwell on at present.

❝ If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t be doing, ❞ he gestures vaguely between them with his injured arm, ❝ this. I’d ignore you, I wouldn’t be trying to talk or understand. I never stopped caring about you, and sometimes I hated that. I mean, who keeps loving the person who stabbed them at their lowest? Someone pathetic, I’m sure. ❞ Self-deprecation has always been a good defense mechanism; it’s so much easier to hide his sadness behind humor and a showy smile. 

❝ But that’s the truth. Your reckless, silly brother tried to hate you and failed at that, too. What you did destroyed me — and still I kept on fucking loving you, hoping you were okay. ❞

                   Pathetic; you're pathetic, Luce.

❝ I never thought the worst of you no matter how hard I tried, because I understand how Heaven works — what they’re capable of, what they’ll do to people who step even a fucking toe out of line, and I never wanted you to be hurt like me. There is so much corruption up there in that sky it makes me ill. So — I’m glad, Michael. I’m glad it was me instead of you. ❞

He's glad one of them could be what Heaven needed, what their Father wanted, because — perhaps more than anything — Lucifer has always worried about the alternative. 

                 To say he'd never wish what he's been through upon his twin need not be said.

❝ Heaven needed you; I mean, fuck, they probably still do. Everyone up there runs around like headless fucking chickens, needing an order because they're incapable of having any original thoughts; your ability to be rational and think critically? Yeah, they need that. You. They need you, and we both know they never needed me. ❞

No one does.

ㅤHe hadn't expected his words to be taken so seriously.

ㅤWhat Michael had said was meant out of care and worry for his brother. It wasn't a lie either. Since they were little, his twin had always been the more reckless, the more free spirited one. The amount of times he had crashed into trees or fallen from grand heights was rather alarming.

ㅤAnd like the loving and worried brother that he was, Michael had always caught him. Caught him, untangled him from trees, tried to take the blame for things when they went wrong. He had tried, his best, to take care of and protect Lucifer. A feat that wasn't always very easy, especially when it came to his twin. But where one of them was, the other was typically not very far behind and it had always been like that. Right up until that day.

ㅤNow granted, the twins were a lot alike. But they were parallels to each other as well. Where Lucifer was reckless, Michael was more a critical thinker. Where his twin ran wild with his imagination, Michael tried to apply logic to everything. Where Lucifer failed, Michael excelled, and vice versa. His brother was always far better at using the creation magic they were known for, where Michael struggled to create something that didn't already exist. He didn't have as wild as an imagination as his twin did.

ㅤAnd in the opposite of that, Michael was far better at handling the inner workings of Heaven. He wasn't reckless and he did what he was told.

ㅤBut he was never harsh on Lucifer for being that way, just as his brother was never—cruel like he was now. Michael doesn't wish to use the word lashing out, but he had clearly taken what the archangel said rather personally… and not in a good way either. Not to think or reflect on himself, to consider what everything was and what it meant.

ㅤNo, he took it like Michael was mocking him for being different. Like the others in Heaven had.

ㅤThat was never the way that Michael had meant for his words to be taken, and now his brother was throwing other things in his face. Things that had trickled through Michael's head, that had pressed against his mind. That he had wondered and questioned. That were part of the reason he was down here in the first place.

ㅤSure, he was down here to examine the Hazbin Hotel. To meet his niece and see what this grand dream of her's actually was. But more than that, Michael was here to answer the questions that gathered in his heart. That threatened to creak, to break his own halo and leave him no different than his twin brother. Just as He had accused Michael of being before he came down here. Those weren't admissions he had spoken to Lucifer, but there was a fear in his heart at having his twin throw those words so easily. As if he could see right through him even though Michael knew that wasn't possible.

ㅤNot anymore, at least.

ㅤ"When, ever, have I mocked you for being a little different, Sam?" Avoidance, deflection, but a very truthful question to. Both of them know the answer to that is never. The day that Lucifer came to him crying because someone had done that very thing? Well, Michael made surethat they knew their place and to never do that again. No one, not even himself, was allowed to tell Lucifer that the way he acted was wrong. Because it was just who he was and there was nothing wrong with that. Michael loved him as he was, and he always had.

ㅤAt the end of the day, no matter what, he was always his brother.

ㅤHis twin.

ㅤThe person who knew him best.

ㅤAt least he thought so.

ㅤ"When you were in Heaven, I had encouraged you to be who you wanted to be. No matter who that was, no matter what that was. And when the others looked down on you for that, I took care of it. I have always wanted you to be yourself, Sam. Sure, was it a little different? Did you think outside the box? Did you go against what He wanted?" A light shrug followed his words and Michael let out a breath. "But nothing you created was wrong either. And what you did make, Heaven still uses. You took the chance to change things, and maybe you went a bit to far."

ㅤThe Apple of Eden, the war, the bloodshed—was it right or was it wrong? Was it meant to be and all a lie? Did He know?

ㅤ"But I knew your intentions were pure, even if the outcome was different than you imagined." At least he hoped it was. At least he prayed most nights that Lucifer never wanted to hurt them.

ㅤ"What I meant with my words is you are reckless and I don't like seeing you get hurt." A pointed look at the mark on his arm, where Lucifer had injured himself with whatever he was playing with. Angels shouldn't recklessly mess with Angelic Steel but Lucifer again was never one to be careful. And that was all he wanted, all he meant by his words. For his twin to remember for all that they are they are not indestructible.

ㅤ"I know things are hard, I know you probably still think the worst of me." It feels, sometimes, like it's getting better. Since being down here they… talk? Which was more than Michael ever thought his twin would allow from him. Time to be with him again. He was ready to accept the fact that one doesn't get over being stabbed easily. But Lucifer didn't turn him away, he listened and he talked, it was a good feeling.

ㅤㅤㅤHe missed him.

ㅤAnother breath was taken and he shook his head at his brother. "I just—I still care," he still loves him, "and I don't like seeing you get hurt. Alright? That was all I meant."

ㅤHe doesn't want to answer the questions thrown at him, he doesn't want to admit anything, right now. He just wanted his brother to hear him and to know nothing had changed. He doesn't view him as different in a bad way, he just views him as Lucifer. As Samael. As that happy angel who flew into trees in Heaven or hung off of his shoulders.

ㅤHe still views him as his twin.

ㅤ"Will you let me patch your arm up?"

[ofhell]

Michael and Lucifer ( @ofhell ) by @alteregozowie!

[ofhell]

darker vibes

❛ i would let you rip me apart if it meant loving you. ❜

❛ this fear you feel? it won’t last. ❜

❛ you are my salvation. ❜

❛ i revolt you, don’t i? ❜

❛ get the hell away from me. ❜

❛ i want to sink my teeth into every inch of you. ❜

❛ i’ll be your dirty little secret, if that’s what you’re into. ❜

❛ worship me. until i tell you to stop. ❜

❛ don’t you know how sick with love i am for you? ❜

❛ fucking hit me already. ❜

❛ i would burn the world for you. ❜

❛ i don’t want to be good, no matter how hard you wish it. ❜

❛ i don’t know how you’ve bewitched me, but it needs to stop. ❜

❛ fix me. ❜

❛ they die for love, you kill for it. ❜

❛ you are mine, whether you agree or not. ❜

❛ do you like it when i bleed for you? ❜

❛ i will keep hurting. i will keep killing. anything to protect you. ❜

❛ i’m starved for you, morning and night. ❜

❛ now i get to ravish you. ❜

❛ i am your god and your executioner. ❜

❛ you are doing so well, my pet. ❜

❛ you’re my sweetest poison. ❜

❛ let’s do something about that mouth of yours. ❜

❛ your fascination with me will be your death. ❜

❛ you’re the monster that’s enticed me into your bed. ❜

❛ all you can say are pretty lies. ❜

❛ the fucked up thing is that it isn’t enough to just love you. ❜

❛ you’ve broken me. all i can think about is you. ❜

❛ you’ll beg for more. ❜

❛ an eternity with you would never satisfy me. ❜

❛ i would gladly let you drag me to hell. ❜

❛ everything i’ve done.. every horrible atrocity, it’s been for you. ❜

❛ you’re a fucking nightmare. kiss me. ❜

❛ feel grateful that i allow you to touch me. ❜

❛ every time your lips touch my skin, you burn me from the inside out. ❜

❛ there’s no black or white, only gray. ❜

❛ no one touches what’s mine. ❜

❛ make me indifferent, make me horrible. ❜

❛ i could never be the one to love you. i can only be the one that kills you. ❜

❛ your lips are poison, your laugh a curse. ❜

[ofhell]

✱         —        𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐒     &.     𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘    𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒        created    by    JACK ( he / him )

↳         PRICES   /   INFORMATION        ✦         KO-FI        ✦        PORTFOLIO   /   EXAMPLES        ✦        COMMISSION   FORM

[ofhell]

softer prompts

“  i’m not going anywhere.  ” “  you make me feel safe.  ”   “  i think i might be in love with you.  ” “  i just like seeing you happy.  ” “  just let me take care of you.  ” “  you’re my family.  ” “  i can stay, if you want.  ” “  you make me feel alive.  ” “  you’re captivating.  ” “  i want you to know i’ll always be here for you. whatever you need.  ” “  you don’t have to tell me anything, we can just sit here.  ” “  i trust you. more than anyone else.  ” “  you have a beautiful soul.  ” “  i feel like i could watch you all day. everything you do has a touch of magic to it.  ” “  i hope i see you in my dreams.  ” “  do you trust me?  ” “  you don’t ever have to pretend. not with me. not ever.  ” “  i love you, every part of you. even the parts you don’t like.  ” “  you make everything a little easier.  ” “  will you just…hold me? please.  ” “  just tell me everything’s gonna be okay.  ” “  you’re enough. you’re more than enough.  ” “  you have my heart in your hands. be gentle with it.  ” “  i wanna be the one you go to. the first one you tell when there’s something good. the shoulder to cry on when it’s bad. and every mundane thing in between. i want to share it all with you.  ” “  i have faith in you.  ” “  i’ve never met anyone quite like you.  ” “  knowing you is like…coming home. like i’ve finally found something that’s been missing all this time.  ” “  every hard thing in my life feels worth it. it all led me to you.  ” “  i feel like i could endure anything as long as i have you to come home to.  ” “  i can tell something’s bothering you.  ” “  what can i do to help?  ” “  come on. let’s get out of here.  ” “  i’m taking you somewhere special.  ” “  where are you taking me?  ” “  i don’t need grand gestures or declarations of love. i just need you. all of you.  ” “  you make me feel like i’m worthy.  ” “  you deserve good things.  ” “  i want to be your home.  ” “  loving you is like something holy.  ” “  i made you something.  ” “  come back to bed.  ” “  stay the night with me.  ” “  are you sure you’re okay?  ” “   you wanna talk about it?  ” “  did you wanna tell me something?  ”  “  you’ll always have me.  ” “  i’m proud of you.  ”   “  i need you.  ” “  thank you. for always being there for me.  ” “  don’t ever let anyone make you doubt your worth.  ” “  i’m not leaving you. not ever.  ”   “  you have kind eyes.  ”   “  sleep, my love. i’ll keep the nightmares away.  ”   “  there’s so much light in you.  ” “  i want you here.  ”  

ACTIONS: 

❀ for a forehead kiss ✦ for our muses to hold hands ❉ for one muse to nap against the other ✱ for one muse to surprise the other ✸ for our muses to cuddle  ❄ for our muses to enjoy the first snow of winter  ♛ for my muse to teach yours something new ☂ for our muses to stargaze  ♡ for one muse to wake the other with breakfast in bed ♤ for a kiss on the palm ☁ for our muses to get caught in the rain without an umbrella ☀ for one muse to surprise the other with a home-cooked meal  ☾ for one muse to hug the other without explanation  ♞ for one muse to give the other a massage  ✞ for one muse to give the other flowers ✔ for one muse to caress the other’s face ✚ for our muses to shower/bathe together  ＄for one muse to catch the other staring lovingly 

[ofhell]

Guilt is a corrosive, ugly thing; it rips into bones, pulls apart a body’s essence, flays one alive from the inside out — and as soon as Alastor turns to look at him, those red eyes tired and weary?

Lucifer wishes he’d kept his damn mouth shut.

❝ I— ❞

Nothing else comes out — while Lucifer’s mouth moves, no words find their way through —

                  Stupid, useless, burden —

                         Stop, please, please, stop —

The need to physically hurt is overwhelming; it’s a visceral, eternal itch beneath his flesh and one he knows he’ll have to scratch soon.

— yet he can’t stay silent like this, can’t keep looking at the other man like a damned dying fish, and it’s only with herculean effort Lucifer finally makes another sound.

                                           Reboot. Restart. Try again.

        ( The show must go on. Always. )

❝ Oh, okay! I just thought I’d check since it’s, hah, you know, been a while. No biggie. ❞ It’s far too cheerful, the words saccharine on his tongue and for once the flavor does Lucifer no favors — it’s sickening, having to pretend, but no fucking way is he about to be useless in the face of Alastor’s own exhaustion; he's not going to add to the burden, nope, nope, he's done enough of that.

     He has to do better. Be better. Try harder.

❝ I uh, I think I’ll pass on the drink, though. I have a meeting with the Sins that I’m probably already late for, but I wanted to make sure you wouldn’t need me first. ❞ 

It’s not exactly a lie — there is a meeting with the Sins he’s supposed to be at.

( Annnnnd it's one he absolutely will not be attending. )

❝ Do you — um. Are you okay? ❞ That’s easier — to focus on Alastor, to take the attention away from himself and away from how his very being longs to ache in order to stop the mental pain for even the briefest of moments.

❝ You look exhausted, Al. Can I help? ❞

That would be good, wouldn’t it? 

         To be useful before he disappears to his palace to rip himself apart? —

                       — yeah, he can manage that.

❝ And uh, I’m sorry for bringing any of that up, I just…well, you know. I worry sometimes you force yourself to go too long and I just — hah, anyway, whatever, nevermind all that — and oh, you should drink that. ❞ He gestures vaguely to the glass of whiskey, frazzled and emotionally torn open and —

— is he even making fucking sense? Honestly, Lucifer can’t be sure.

❝ Tell me what you need and I’ll do it, Al. You know I’m always at your service. ❞ 

His awareness may be hanging by a thread, but it’s always easier to throw himself into taking care of another; maybe it’s the angel in him, corrupt and ruined as that part is, but still — if Alastor needs him, if Lucifer can in any way ease the other’s worries or exhaustion; he'll do it. 

Then he'll fall apart.

          Alone.

               HE   WAS   EXHAUSTED.   IT   HAD   BEEN   ANOTHER   LONG   DAY   OF   his   radio   show,   and   giving   aid   to   Charlie   when   she   so   required   it.   One   such   situation   was   getting   a   few   rambunctious   sinners   off   the   hotel   premises—   quite   the   meal   if   he   may   be   so   bold   as   to   say.   He   couldn’t   wait   to   relax   with   a   small   glass   of   whiskey,   have   his   jazz   lead   him   into   relaxation,   and   all   the   while   having   conversations   with   his   king.   

               IT   SOUNDED   LIKE   AN   EXCELLENT   IDEA,   ONE   THAT   HAD   BEEN   in   practice   for   some   time   now.   In   fact,   Alastor   started   to   look   forward   to   the   end   of   the   day   more   and   more—   his   favorite   part   of   the   day one could say.

               Careful,   young   fawn,   some   might   say   you   have   gone   soft.   

               Ha!   As   if.   

               HE   ENTERED   THEIR   SHARED   ROOM   WHILE   CLAWED   HANDS   UNBUTTONED   HIS   coat.   He   walked   near   the   bedside   to   toss   the   shedded   red   coat   onto   the   lushes   sheets   before   he   found   his   way   to   the   small   table   of   drinks.   He   uncapped   a   bottle   of   whiskey,   and   as   he   did   so,   he   heard   footsteps   come   from   behind   him.   His   ears   flicked,   and   he   started   to   pour   himself   a   glass.   

               “Alastor, can you — well, I know it’s been a little more than a month, so do you think you need to — ah, fuck.” Lucifer’s only ever instigated this when he feared Alastor had waited too long. It’s Al’s job to request this when it’s needed, this entire arrangement a way for Alastor to let himself go; to give in to the shadows for a while — to lose control on his own terms, therefore maintaining control. —but today? Right now? Lucifer’s very skin itches with the need to hurt — and he knows, of course he knows, how Alastor feels about the King doing any kind of harm to himself. So maybe…maybe their arrangement can benefit them both today, so long as it’s something Alastor needs. “—Al, I — just. Tell me. It’s been a while, so…does the darkness feel like ripping me apart today?”

               LUCIFER’S   VOICE   SEEMED   SMALL,   ANXIOUS   MIGHT   BE   THE   BETTER   WORD.   Alastor   felt   his   chest   tightened   at   the   thought.   Still,   he   placed   the   bottle   down   with   ease,   and   then   took   his   glass   in   one   hand.   He   turned   to   face   @ofhell  with   an   arched   brow.   His   words   floated   in   his   ear   for   some   time   as   he   thought   it   over.  

               THEIR   SESSIONS.   IT   WAS   SOMETHING   HE   WASN'T   PROUD   OF,   that’s   a   first,   little   fawn   BUT   it   was   a   way   to   subside   that   craving   deep   within   him.   However,   it   had   been   some   time,   hadn’t   it?   Yet,   he   didn’t   feel   the   need   to   do   it.   How   interesting.   That   was   a   first,   and   really   the   thought   of   doing   it   unprompted   made   his   ears   fold   back.   Why   would   Lucifer   bring   it   up   then?   He   knew   how   much   Alastor   detested   them…   

               CRIMSON   EYES   STUDIED   THE   KING.   HE   HADN’T   SAID   A   SINGLE   word   since   he   had   spoken.   Alastor   knew   that   most   would   be   incinerated   for   such   a   disrespect   of   the   king’s   wishes,   but   oh   how   he   knew   Lucifer   wouldn’t   do   such   a   thing   to   him.   So,   he   stayed   silent   a   few   minutes   longer   to   gauge   an   idea   of   why   this   came   out   of   the   blue.   There   could   be   two   reasons,   and   Alastor   was   sure   he   wasn't   going   to   like   it.                      A   STATIC   HUM   WAS   HEARD   ONLY   AS   HE   TIPPED   HIS   head   back   to   let   the   liquor   in   glass   burn   down   his   throat.   Once   he   was   finished,   he   turned   around   again   to   fill   the   glass,   “   Lucifer,   ”   finally,   his   voice   broke   through   the   silence.   It   was   a   voice,   however,   of   a   warm   summer   night   in   New   Orleans—   sweet,   rich,   intoxicating,   and   most   of   all…   real.   He   turned   once   again   towards   Lucifer,   the   empty   glass   now   full   again.   He   moved   quietly,   steadily,   his   arm   outstretched   with   the   offered   drink,   “   I’m   not   sure   that’s   a   great   idea.   ”

[ofhell]

@mcltiples (charlie) said: ❛ i'm tired of pretending everything's okay when it's clearly not. ❜

Lucifer would gladly fall again — repeatedly, for eternity — if it meant Charlie would never need to cry.

Happy tears he can handle — but these? These agonizing, frustrated things leaking from his beautiful daughter’s eyes, imploring him for assistance? Yeah, these tears he could do without. Forever. 

( And when he finds out who has made his daughter feel this way? Lucifer will be ripping them apart. )

Happily.

Slowly.

— ah, right. Not the time, Luce.

His focus is drawn back to her in an instant, his expression one of reverent tenderness; this is his baby girl, his everything, and to see her hurting fractures apart his very essence.

Fix it. Do something. Be useful, you clown.

Fuck.

❝ Charlie, sweetie — breathe for me, honey. ❞ Already are his hands shifting to cup her face, Lucifer's thumbs gentle as they glide over her skin and wipe the offending trails of moisture away. ❝ You don’t have to pretend to be okay, Charlie, not ever. Not for me, not for anyone. So, please — whatever they said in that meeting, whatever you’re afraid of — tell me what happened. If things aren’t okay, I should know. I want to help. I will help. ❞

[ofhell]

🐝  *  ―  𝑬𝑴𝑶𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑨𝑳𝑳𝒀 𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑹𝑮𝑬𝑫 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺.

❛  why did you have to leave me?  ❜ ❛  how could you do this to me?  ❜ ❛  i trusted you!  ❜ ❛  i'm sorry, but i can't do this anymore.  ❜ ❛  do you even care how much you hurt me?  ❜ ❛  i'll never stop fighting for us, no matter what.  ❜ ❛  i don't know if i can forgive you.  ❜ ❛  i never thought i'd feel so alone, even when you're right here.  ❜ ❛  please don't go, i can't handle losing you too.  ❜ ❛  you were the one person i thought i could always count on. why did you have to let me down?  ❜ ❛  did you ever even care about us? about me?  ❜ ❛  i wish i could hate you for what you've done, but i can't.  ❜ ❛  why do you always have to play games with my feelings?  ❜ ❛  i never thought saying goodbye would hurt this much.  ❜ ❛  every time i close my eyes, all i see is the pain you've caused.  ❜ ❛  why do you insist on tearing us apart when we could be so happy together?  ❜ ❛  i'm tired of pretending everything's okay when it's clearly not.  ❜ ❛  i don't even know who you are anymore.  ❜ ❛  i need you to understand how much you mean to me.  ❜ ❛  i'm scared of losing you, but i'm even more scared of losing myself.  ❜ ❛  why won't you let me in? what are you so afraid of?  ❜ ❛  you were my world, and now everything is falling apart.  ❜ ❛  how am i supposed to trust anyone after what you've done?  ❜ ❛  i can't go through this heartache again.  ❜ ❛  why did you leave without saying goodbye?  ❜ ❛  how could you say something like that to me?  ❜ ❛  you've always had a way of making me feel worthless.  ❜ ❛  don't you dare walk away from me when i'm talking to you.  ❜ ❛  please, just tell me the truth, even if it hurts. i can handle it.  ❜ ❛  i don't know how to fix what's broken between us anymore.  ❜ ❛  you're not the person i fell in love with anymore.  ❜ ❛  just hold me and tell me everything will be okay, even if it's a lie.  ❜ ❛  i trusted you, and you betrayed me.  ❜ ❛  i never meant to hurt you, it was never my intention.  ❜ ❛  i've given you everything, and it's still not enough.  ❜ ❛  why do you always have to make everything about you?  ❜ ❛  why did you do it? why did you betray me like that?  ❜ ❛  i miss you ... more than words can say.  ❜ ❛  you're the best thing that ever happened to me, and i'm scared of losing you.  ❜ ❛  i'll always be here for you, no matter what. just please don't shut me out.  ❜

[ofhell]

Oh.

Truthfully, the bartender — ah fuck, his name’s Husk, right? — isn’t who Lucifer expected to speak up. That…may actually be a good thing, though. 

An awesome thing, because honestly? Some (most) of these hotel residents give him a fucking headache and an evening out with someone who probably won’t ask him a ton of invasive questions while trying to invade his personal space sounds damn near divine.

❝ Uh — yeah. Yeah. Of course I’m buying. ❞ The words are accentuated by a subtle — genuine — upward twitch of his mouth.  ❝ Would be pretty bad manners otherwise, wouldn’t it? ❞ Sure, he’s not spent prolonged time in the company of sinners for millennia, but Lucifer is nothing if not a great fucking host.

❝ You want to go wearing that, or should I give you time to change? ❞ Lucifer’s already snapping his fingers to replace his own attire; in a puff of golden light, his usual white suit bleeds into a deep red dress shirt and skinny, black jazz trousers. His beloved hat and cane are still both safely deposited upstairs by his bed — for as much as Lucifer adores the accessories, drawing attention to himself as the King while out on a casual, friendly outing?

               Yeah, not in today’s forecast, thank you very much.

❝ The place still isn’t super well-known yet. I hired staff, obviously, and I guess it’s getting a little busier by word-of-mouth, but...well, it shouldn't be too crowded. ❞ 

He’d only just created the jazz club a few weeks back, the hired musicians and bartenders sworn to help cultivate an environment free of Hell’s usual destruction and depravity. It’s a safe-haven, one in which Lucifer has spent far too long on, has poured far too much magic into, and has far too much faith in actually lasting —

— because when does anything he does ever last? Especially when he sees it as something good?

                              Right. Yep, nope, not going there now. Hah!

❝ So uh — should I find someone else to watch the bar here? Or is there some kind of ‘fuck off, we’re closed’ sign I can hang up? ❞

` it's not often that husk speaks up to involve himself in whatever fuckery the hotel guests are up to unless it's to add a derogatory remark. maybe, his speaking up now is as odd as the painfully awkward invitation. ( golden eyes that miss nothing certainly don't miss the desperation and discomfort on the king's tone ).

` " you buyin'? " he remarks without looking up from the glass he cleans lazily. what can he say? maybe some part of husk's old attitude still lingers in the back of his head. that younger man who could always be found in jazz clubs, whether as a performer or a drunken lurker. if any outing would be tolerable enough to lure him from his seat of bitchy depression behind his bar, this is it.

` " if so, I'm in. "

[ofhell]

I love your graphics. your icon design is so beautiful!!!

Thank you, anonymous! I claim no credit for the beautiful graphics, though. My blog graphics/carrd graphics are a mix of commissioned work from @pornidle (the above icon designer!), @theophcgy, and @arachnaemboss. If ever you're in need of something, these folks are wicked talented and I appreciate them so much for helping my vision for this blog come to life. It's still very much a work in progress as I rearrange everything, but even so -- these awesome creators deserve support and love!

[ofhell]

Mingling. Socializing. Sure, this is something Lucifer can do — right? For Charlie?            Please, dad. I just think it would be good for you to get out more, don’t you think?

( No, absolutely not, but fuck it all since he’s never been able to deny her anything. )

It’s for this reason Lucifer finds himself down in the hotel's lobby, quietly observing the idle chatter between several residents; his precious hat and coat have both been left upstairs within the sanctuary of his Apple Tower — a feeble attempt to appear more approachable, though most of the hotel’s residents seem to have settled around him somewhat.

Hopefully, anyway.

Even so, now he needs to speak, to get to the point of showing himself when he’s usually so elusive unless his daughter needs him.

               Welp! Show time.

❝ So, uh. Heyyyy, guys. Charlie thought it might be a good bonding experience to go on some kind of outing together while she’s gone. Would anyone uh — anyone want to join? I was thinking maybe Cannibal Town only because it’s actually pretty nice, but I’m open to suggestions. There’s also uh — well, I created a sort of jazz club a little while ago, if anyone would want to check it out? ❞

If the words come out somewhat awkwardly, Lucifer’s poise more than makes up for it — a charming smile flits over his expression, red eyes crinkling with mirth as he’s regarded by the others with surprise. 

          Oh, boy.

Well…huh, he can work with surprise; maybe this won’t be so bad, then! He’s made an attempt to put himself out there, Charlie will be happy he tried, and maybe no one will take him up on his offer and he’ll be left to flee back to his workshop. and forget about this entire fiasco

               All in all, a marvelous success if he does say so himself. 

❝ —so, ❞ he begins again, apple cane summoned and twirled idly between his fingers by force of habit. ❝ Any takers? ❞

[ofhell]

AS SAID BY ASTARION ANCUNÍN *  assorted dialogue from baldur's gate 3

you are mine. no one can change that.

i wish... to drink. and be drunk.

you haven't earned the right to stare at me like that.

you could scream bloody murder out here and no one would ever know.

we should find a tavern and celebrate.

do my eyes deceive me? the gang really is all here.

i'd rather be the only dark power inside your body, if it's all the same to you.

you're cute, you know. in another life we might have been friends.

i don't hate you. because this is not you.

we just have to be vigilant. keep our wits about us.

you can try, but i will stop you.

do what you like. it's none of my concern.

i simply do not care.

we could do it, you know. we could rule the world.

i... i don't know what to say. thank you.

well that's just disgusting.

listen to me, damn it! i'm trying to save you, even if you're too stupid to see it.

believe what you want. i'm done with you.

you have no idea what i can do.

sounds like a delightful dinner plan. perhaps i'll join you.

forgiveness? you've never forgiven anything.

i don't need anyone to speak for me.

i don't owe you a damn thing.

don't worry. i'll keep watch tonight.

just don't ask me again.

is there anything else? any new and interesting ways you can waste my time?

i'll come to you tonight, when you're snugly wrapped in your bedroll and we can have a little privacy.

this time i'll make sure i'm quiet.

you're lucky i'm such an open-minded person.

why send anyone after me? i'm hardly a threat out here.

what are you waiting for? help me!

"you can do whatever you want" sounds terrifying, and it is, but there's opportunity in it, too.

i am so much more than what you made me.

hold very, very still.

i'm sorry, but could you excuse us a moment?

get out of my way. i'm in no mood to talk.

you didn't think i could do it? i'm hurt.

i appreciate your loyalty, darling, but i don't think you understand.

fair? nothing about this is fair.

i don't know who they are, but i have plenty of questions.

i'm glad to hear it.

i do believe you. i know you only did what you thought was best for me.

i just need some time to let it sink in.

you're so good to me.

safe? how can i ever be safe now?

well, hello. looking for a cuddle?

now that you're back with us, we need to have a talk.

how flattering. and disturbing.

please tell me this is important.

there's also gold, sex, revenge... quite the list, really. but failing any of those, i will always settle for shallow praise.

now just tell me i'm beautiful and we can call it a day.

i want to thank you.

you're a vision. and you're so much more than that.

this is all a game to you, isn't it?

for as long as i can remember, i've been used by others.

of course i was attracted to you. look at you, for goodness' sake!

i will forever remember what you did for me today.

that's what you've been waiting to hear, isn't it? that's what you want?

i have been waiting so long for you.

come, give yourself to me.

i'll take care of everything.

it's time to try living again.

i feel safe with you. seen.

we don't have to rush into anything tonight.

would it kill you to dispense a compliment?

looking for something?

honestly, you have no sense of fun.

i do appreciate your enthusiasm, but let's try to restrain ourselves a little.

would you like a tour? we can start with my tent, if you like.

everything was taken from me, too.

well, that could have gone better.

i don't know what you mean.

were you actually worried i was angry?

so what was it like? tell me everything.

i hope i'm not interrupting.

some day that soft heart of yours is going to be torn out of your chest.

what a party. we should do this again.

there you are. i've been waiting. waiting since the moment i set eyes on you. waiting to have you.

you've seen enough already.

i didn't want to lose control.

oh, don't be like that. not every problem has to be beaten to death, my dear.

wait! don't interrupt them!

let's not make trouble for some stranger.

my, this place is fun.

my past isn't exactly a happy story.

that was amazing.

it won't happen again. you have my word.

so many people need killing.

remember who saved you.

don't worry. i'm here.

[ofhell]

Lucifer are you thicc

❝ Am I…what? ❞ Clearly, he’s missed something — the question itself makes little sense, though prior conversation offers no contextual clues. 

Okay, think, Lucifer, think —

      Thick in the head? 

No, there’s absolutely no way some random sinner is being so bold —

      Thick in body? 

No, that can’t be it either; it’s not as though his stature is a mystery, though perhaps his original form —

Yeah, best not to go there. 

      Thick how? What is meant to be thick?

The train of thought had been rapid, accompanied only by the blinking of one red iris before the other. Confusion slowly gives way to a nervous, exasperated huff of laughter.

Whatever the joke is, the King isn't getting it — and if he's the joke, there’ll be hell to pay.

Fuck, why are sinners so weird —

❝ Hah! I’m uh — I’m not exactly sure what you’re asking here, buddy, but I’ll have you know I’m perfectly proportioned in both body and mind! I’d say soul too, but I don’t have one, so that’s besides the point and…yeah. Anyway. ❞

      Nailed it!

[ofhell]

– Audrey Hepburn