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ivy - taylor swift, evermore (2020)

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To love me is to love a haunted house; it’s fun to visit once a year but no one wants to live there, and when you say, “Tell me about the bad days,” it sounds like all the neighborhood kids daring each other to ring the doorbell.

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"Ah, there you are." Having returned to the living room salon, Dylan quickly hung his coat onto a rack and walked up to Freya, cautiously hugging her and giving her a kiss. "I went by the drug store and got you something against your nausea, as the stuff we have here didn't seem to help you all that much. That being said, you already look way better than you did this morning. How are you feeling?"

freya was not used to feeling sick,  a fact she was grateful for though perhaps this was why she felt so dreadful these days.  it did not happen often that she caught a stomach bug  ---  her profession alone meant that she was very invested in good food and after the centuries of her life,  she had long worked out what caused allergic reactions and how to avoid it.  when she did catch something unpleasant,  it was usually easily handled  ---  tea and a nap usually did the trick,  but it had not been helping today.

there was a cup of chamomile tea on the little table next to her,  but it had grown cold half an hour ago when she had been all but captivated by the new scheduling program she had bought for her restaurant.  frédéric would roll his eyes once he learnt she had bought something new again,  but thankfully,  she was his boss and not the other way around.  given his natural enthusiasm and her temper,  she could imagine how much of a disaster that would be.  no,  if someone had to be in charge between the two of them,  it had to be her.  she was older,  anyway.

nevertheless  ---  that was enough about her brother’s descendant for the moment,  she decided as she sat up and leaned into dylan’s touch.  being sick might not be quite as terrible as she thought if he spoiled her a little bit  . . .  though knowing herself as she did,  she knew that she would grow tired of sitting in the living-room,  cocooned into blankets before long.  she idly twirled a strand of hair around her finger,  his hand soon covering hers.  she was feeling rather cuddly today,  but she did have things to do that were not lounging on the couch,  sad as that was. 

‘ ‘ thank you,  darling, ’ ’  freya sighed as she pushed her glasses up to her forehead and then into her hair before she mentioned towards her laptop.  ‘ ‘ i feel better,  too,  well enough to do some light work,  in fact, ’ ’ she replied as she closed it and put it aside before untangling herself from her nest of blankets and pillows,  and padding towards the kitchen as she tugged dylan along.  it had been a wholly unpleasant morning,  but she was getting hungry now  ---  and whatever he had bought for her would probably require water.  ‘ ‘ and i called freddie and told him that he’s in charge until i get better, ’ ’  she continued as she skimmed over the package insert,  yawning twice between dosages and the possible side effects.  ‘ ‘ can i convince you to come back to bed? ’ ’

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journal excerpt 

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WHAT IS YOUR UNDERLYING MOTIF ?

the coffee. whether it’s your sharp tongue, your tendency to blow hot or cold, or the familiarity of you, you’re the coffee. don’t immediately assume that your undercurrent means you’re bitter, a common misconception, because people who like coffee always make it work for them. coffee doesn’t always have to be dark, it can be a warmth that’s comforting and the first start to a day. you aren’t nearly as tough as you make out to be, but we’ll keep your secret. you’re a constant, won’t ever go out of style. not everyone���s taste, but what is these days? an unknown quote reads “I like drinking coffee alone and reading alone... I realize that even though I like being alone, I don’t fancy being lonely” remember you don’t always need to face things yourself, there’s a reason people suggest “coffee?” when they want to spend time together.

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tiny tag drop.

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BOOK QUOTED

                                 ❥    CLASSICS EDITION

“You have been the last dream of my soul.”  

“For you, and for any dear to you, I would do anything.”

 “Vengeance and retribution require a long time; it is the rule.” 

“I like good strong words that mean something…”  

“I’d rather take coffee than compliments just now.” 

“Watch and pray, dear, never get tired of trying, and never think it is impossible to conquer your fault.”

“Don’t try to make me grow up before my time…” 

“You don’t need scores of suitors. You need only one… if he’s the right one.” 

“I wish I had no heart, it aches so…”

“If you look the right way, you can see that the whole world is a garden.” 

“She made herself stronger by fighting with the wind.”

“Two worst things as can happen to a child is never to have his own way - or always to have it.”

“What you have to do with your mind, when your body is miserable, is to make it think of something else.”

“But I suppose there might be good in things, even if we don’t see it.”

“To die will be an awfully big adventure.”

“Never say goodbye because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting.”

“Just always be waiting for me.”

“He’s more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”  

“Terror made me cruel …”

“She burned too bright for this world.”

“I would always rather be happy than dignified.”  

“Even for me life had its gleams of sunshine.”

“I was quiet, but I was not blind.”

“I was so anxious to do what is right that I forgot to do what is right.”

     “…but then I am unlike other people I dare say.” 

“I am very strong. Nothing ever fatigues me, but doing what I do not like.”

“I may have lost my heart, but not my self-control. ”

“If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.” 

 “You must be the best judge of your own happiness.”

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i may b sad but did u see my outfit

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“And sometimes / I want to win. And sometimes I want to lose so badly / I can taste it.”

— Danusha Laméris, Bonfire Opera: Poems; “Worlds in Worlds”

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WHAT  BODY  PART  ARE  YOU?

tongue: a tricky part. seemingly built for one purpose, but capable of so much more. it’s not just pure lust or gluttonous intentions that define the tongue, but joyous laughter that rolls off, catching a snowflake, talking so fast you can barely keep up. sometimes you can get carried away, lost to the flavours and sensations of new, always itching to try more, and sometimes you forget when to hold yourself back and restrain your eagerness. the tongue is passion, of every good and negative connotation implicit in that, exemplified. in their kiss, you can taste revolution. chase it, lose yourself to the sensations and wallow in it until everything else can fade away to nothing. it’s the one luxury you can allow for yourself, after all that you’ve endured. stop biting down, be free.

tagged by: stole it! tagging: anyone who wants to indulge me! 

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“Under roses crimson as blood, I want to sleep for a while, Perhaps forever.”

— Shiraishi Kazuko, from The Anniversary of Samansa’s Death; Women Poets of Japan (tr. by Kenneth Rexroth)

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Abandoned somewhere in France 

Photo Julien Harlaut 

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I say, I promise I won’t do anything awful, and he says, you are something awful, 

but I’m keeping you anyway.

Yves Olade, “When Rome Falls” from Bloodsport

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“It’s not a metaphor, this ache.”

— Catherine Abbey Hodges, from “Solstice on the Middle Fork,” Tar River Review (vol. 59, no. 2, Spring 2020)