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i’m filled with so much love

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i feel trapped and i have no reason to be.

i’ll probably scare myself into running away and/or isolating myself till people get tired of me again aha x

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this can’t be good

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i’ve finally managed to muster up the courage to do something that puts me in a place of vulnerability... and god was it worth it

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a few years, a few exes later... maybe it was always meant to be you

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the film i’ve just watched just took me by the neck and threw me back into sixth form, where all i needed and craved was just a touch – or rather, the lingering feeling of being wanted

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am i being too forward for wanting to kiss you?

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ignore everything before this xo

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i've spent a lot of time thinking about the past and the future. i've been clinging to a lot of what's passed, but i've also been extremely afraid of what's next to come. i mean, i'm very comfortable with my boyfriends, and our ever-changing situations are so dynamic that it's hard to get bored...

but having casual chats about marriage are scaring me a little, especially after what could've been my future mere months ago. i just don't want to be getting anyone's hopes up (including my own) if it may just come crumbling down

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３００５

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the neighbourhood // scary love

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goodbye weekend // mac demarco

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wish i could stop making myself upset with things that aren't really an issue but 🤷🏼‍♂️

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i’m still just a little disappointed about what happened days ago but s’alright i suppose. everything else is good besides that, but i feel like it shouldn’t get to me as much since things have been better since then.

i’m a little apprehensive about it, maybe it just reminds me of what i had used to do. or maybe it was just too close to my birthday, n it’s exactly something that dad would do.

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02.04.18 / just one of the photos that i’ll be hanging up back at the flat, and keeping in my wallet.

i’m not even sure where to begin because it’s been a whole month with my boys, and i can surely say that i love them. i’ve been incredibly lucky in meeting them, and being able to spend all this time with them.

whether john’s rolling his eyes out of disbelief, or emil’s pulling dad jokes of his own, i’m falling for them as the days go by. they’ve encouraged me like no other, reminding me of my love of photography.

i love seeing them laugh at the memes i send them, or when they've got to put down their phones to roll their eyes and sigh at me while i've got the biggest grin. is that love? maybe so.

they make me feel so safe and secure, whether it’s just us chatting about everything and nothing, or when we’re cuddled up in bed.

there’s so many new things for us to discover, and i absolutely cannot wait for it.

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i may be a depressed ugly anxious dumbass