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onhirel-reblogs · 28 days ago

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It’s a long read, but worth it

i did wrestling in middle school. on one hand, i was actually quite good at it, which was nice. being good at any sport was a new achievement for me. on the other hand, i was bi, and i was trying very hard not to notice that i was bi, and getting folded into knots by very kind, very muscular dorks made that task somewhat difficult.

adding fire to the problem was that my parents and my grandparents wanted to watch my matches, because they were very proud that their Gangly Nerd Son was actually Sporting, and they wanted to cheer me on. which would've been sweet and all, but if there are four people you do not want there during a key part of your Burgeoning Sexual Awakening, it is your mom and your dad and your grandma and your grandpa.

right? i mean, imagine some guy's got your head in his armpit, and you're going you know, old sweat smells bad, but fresh sweat has a sort of and then you make eye contact with your grandpa in the stands and you remember you're swearing spandex so if you pop a boner people aren't just going to be able to see the outline, they're going to be able to count the veins, and the only way you will be able to restore your family's honor after that would be by moving to siberia and renouncing joy, forever. that, or lift your entire body up by your kneck then twist 180 degrees without paralyzing yourself.

it’s a lot of pressure, is what i’m saying.

still it did motivate me to win my matches really fast. because i was so tall and skinny, i was stupidly good at the double leg takedown, and then once someone was knocked down, i'd just do the half nelson and kind of flip em over for the pin. then the ref would count to three and i’d win. EZPZ.

i had one match where that went great. won in the first ten seconds, sat back down, and prepared myself for a good hour or two of doing fuck all. didn't even feel bad the parents/grandparents were gonna be bored. the matches went up from me in 5 pound increments (i was in the 115 lbs division) and it was going great until we got to the 145 lbs division. the other school's wrestler stepped onto the mat, and she turned out to be a girl so our guy flipped, because for straight guys, wrestling a girl is not a pleasant experience.

i'm not entirely unsympathetic. my experience wrestling dudes was definitely a little traumatic. but also, i dealt. guy could've dealt too. instead, he refused to wrestle, and the coach went - fine. not even worth fighting over.

so he went to the 140 pounder, and that guy said, nosir, my mom said mormons can't wrestle girls. next guy down, 135 pounder, now he knew he could pull the same card and thus did. 130 pounder, 125, both tapped out. he got to the 120 guy, and that guy was catholic, but he said he was considering being mormon, and thus would have to pass. as a precaution.

coach blew up a little at that. he said "is there anyone - anyone - on this entire goddamn team that is willing to wrestle a girl?" and then he pointed at me and said "YOU. MAT. GO."

and i'll be real, if i'd been paying more attention, i'd have pulled the mormon card too, but i'd just been putting all that audio into a buffer file because i was reading, so i was halfway across the mat before i even processed what had been said and by then it was too late to turn back.

still i had a plan. and my plan - my beautiful, perfect plan - was to do what i'd always done. tackle, flip, pin, win. sit down. read. bore my family to death. move on.

i got the first part right. she was bigger than me, but she wasn't taller. just an incredibly stout woman. god built me like a snake with glasses, just as he built her like a combat cube. the problem was the half nelson. soon as she was down, i tried hooking my arm under hers from behind and for both genders, the defense for this move is just clamping your arms really fucking tight against your sides. if you're a guy, that's whatever, but if you're a girl - especially if you're god's chosen combat cube - that pins your opponents hand right against your boob.

so, i got the hook in, she clamped, my whole arm pressed against something soft, my coach was yelling THE HALF NELSON. BABYLON! JUST FINISH IT! FINISH THE HALF NELSON! and i was just trying to press hard enough to finish, when then my brain went

...oh.

and i flipped out. of course i flipped out. i like girls, and touching a boob is an elemental experience, and i was not ready. i was not prepared. i had not committed the sacred rites. i recoiled like i'd just brushed my arm against the surface of the sun, stood up, and backed away. nobody in the room knew why i'd given up. all they saw was me, right about to win, suddenly flailing around and scrambling. so everyone started screaming at me to just get the half nelson again, and i couldn't really yell back there's a fuckin' boob in the way and it was very distressing, and the only way i could think of to make them stop was just doing it over again the right way.

so i did.

i hunkered down and prepared myself for Wrasslin' Attempt #2: The Sequel.

i knocked her down again, EZPZ. i went for the half nelson again, but she knew what i was about to do so she super clamped, and i knew she was gonna super clamp, so i wound my arm back like a pop-eye cartoon punch before swinging my arm through the gap between her bicep and her side, but the amount of time i spent winding back super signalled what i was about to to do, which gave her time to clamp even harder, which somehow redirected the entire force of the popeye punch to the bottom of her bra.

it spat out a single boob the same way an action hero might spit out one single tooth after getting a solid crack across the jaw. as if to say:

*ptooie.* "that all you got?"

i did not actually see this. my experience was that first there was an arm, then there was a bit of boob, but i was braced, i was ready, forward at all costs, tatakae motherfuckers, and then the boob went away, and i didn't know where it went but my team, and the audience, and everyone who was in front of me, they all gasped like i just kicked them in the stomach. except for my coach. he was behind me, and thus one of the four people in the room who did not see the boob. now my mom, my dad, my grandma, and my grandpa, they all got flashed but nooooooo, coach thunderbutt was behind me, and he didn't see shit so he was still yelling NOOOOOO BABYLON WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST FINISH THE NELSON! GO FOR THE KILL! BABYLON! BABYLON!

but i did not go for the kill. i stood up and she stuffed her boob back real fast, and we just kind of circled each other awkwardly until time ran out and i won on points. that's not technically allowed, but the ref had some mercy on me.

my coach did not.

i barely had time to sit down before he strode over to the bench to chew me out.

"babylon," he said, in that very calm way people get when they're too pissed to yell. "why didn't you pin?"

and i didn't know how to say well coach, i tried, but there was a boob, and it kept getting in the way, and my mom was watching, and so was my dad, and so was his dad, and his mom, and god (like bible god) and that's a can of worms because i'm pretty sure he was already mad at me, and i'm wearing spandex, and i think i might have to move to siberia, so instead i said

"i uh. i forgot how to do the half nelson."

which is actually impossible. forgetting how to do the half nelson is like forgetting how to swallow your spit.

and he looked at me, like i was the dumbest person in the entire world, and i looked through him like i'd just survived my 250th day in a trench at verdun, and he said: fine.

fine.

but we're all going to practice it for an hour tomorrow because you forgot.

and then he left.

and my buddies had the gall to be salty about it. i got so many comments saying "dude, why didn't you just tell him the truth?" and i said "you can if you care so damn much. you could've wrestled the girl too. maybe someone else should do the hard thing today."

but they didn't. so the next day, we did an hour of half nelson drills, and i spent a decent amount of time getting thrown around the mat, and it was pleasant in exactly the way that i hated and the year after that, to the surprise of everyone but myself, i quit wrestling and joined the trivia team.

and if you want more reasons to love my mom, my grandpa joked after the match that i might have to talk to my bishop about it, and my mom told him he would be allowed to make jokes after he stood in front of a crowd of 110 people in spandex underpants while wrestling a woman that was not his wife.

he paused for almost five seconds after that. then he said: aw. hell. sorry babylon.

and i'd have preferred my apology from god, but getting it from him was pretty good too.

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onhirel-reblogs · 1 month ago

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Thats it.. thats the whole show

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onhirel-reblogs · 1 month ago

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Fast Reflexes in Martial Arts

Ever wondered why fast reflexes in martial arts is so important?. They decide who lands the first blow, escapes a hold, or turns defence into attack. Science shows these quick reactions aren't just luck. They're built through a sharp connection between the brain, nerves, muscles and refined by targeted practice.

Current research highlights how focused training can open up neural pathways that help martial artists respond to threats almost instantly. This knowledge isn't locked away for elite professionals. With the right drills and training habits, anyone can start improving their reflexes and gain an edge in sparring, competition or self-defence. Get ready to discover proven strategies you can use to react faster and stay one step ahead.

How Do Fast Reflexes Work in Martial Arts?

To react in a split second during sparring match, a martial artist relies on more than just willpower or surface-level training. Quick action is the product of a highly tuned system where nerves, muscles, and the brain communicate with practiced speed. Let’s break down the science that powers your fastest blocks, counters, and evasions.

The Role of the Nervous System in Split-Second Moves

The nervous system acts like a high-speed highway between your brain and body. When you see an opponent’s fist headed toward your face, sensory nerves relay this signal to your brain almost instantly. Your brain then sends instructions back through motor nerves telling your muscles to move e.g. kick, duck, or block.

It's important to understand the difference between a reflex and a reaction:

Reflexes: These are automatic, unconscious responses. For example, if something gets close to your eye, you blink before you even think about it.

Reactions: These involve some level of choice. You see an attack coming, judge your options and act—usually in a blink but still with a sliver of conscious control.

Reflexes are built for speed and survival, while reactions allow for strategy and adaptation. Both are crucial on the mat. The process is hardwired and can be seen in daily life. Like snapping your hand away from something hot or ducking when a ball comes your way.

If you want a detailed breakdown of the biological differences, check out this resource on the difference between reflex and reaction.

Muscle Memory: Training Your Body to Respond Automatically

Muscle memory isn't about muscles literally "remembering," but about repeating movements until you don’t need to think about them. Through drills and practice, neural pathways that control specific moves become fast and efficient.

In martial arts, muscle memory is what allows a practitioner to:

Block a punch without thinking.

Pull off a complex combination on instinct.

Move with efficiency, even when startled or tired.

Every time you practice a roundhouse kick, you’re not just building strength, you’re programming your body to perform the action quickly and smoothly under pressure. In the words of experienced coaches, “train slow to move fast.” Deliberate, consistent practice leads to faster, sharper responses when it counts.

Learn more about how muscle memory develops through targeted drills and sparring by reading about the role of muscle memory in martial arts.

Neuroplasticity: Shaping Faster Pathways Through Practice

Neuroplasticity means your brain can reorganise itself by forming new neural connections throughout life. Every jab, block and footwork drill helps reshape how nerves connect, making the brain-body link faster and stronger.

Consistent practice “rewires” the brain, so responses become almost second nature.

Specialised training builds efficient patterns that shortcut conscious thought. Your body knows what to do before you fully realise it.

Over time, the difference between response and reflex can shrink, making you quicker in both reaction time and instinctive moves.

That’s why the best fighters aren’t just physically strong, they have put in the time to build deep neural grooves through practice. It’s a mix of repetition and purposeful drills that creates champions. Neuroplasticity proves that, with focused effort, anyone can boost their reflexes and reactions—no matter their starting point.

Photo by RDNE Stock project

By understanding the science behind reflexes, reactions, muscle memory and neuroplasticity. Martial artists can train smarter, not just harder. These processes unlock new levels of skill, speed and confidence on the mat.

Techniques and Tools for Building Fast Reflexes

Perfecting fast reflexes isn’t about guesswork. It’s about mixing smart drills, classic equipment and the newest technology. Consistency builds speed. When you expose your body and mind to different types of challenges, you speed up your natural response. Let’s break down the most proven approaches used by martial artists, from traditional partner drills to high-tech wearables.

Reaction Drills: Pads, Mitts, and Slow Sparring

Some of the quickest improvements in reflexes come from hands-on, face-to-face practice. Nothing substitutes for the unpredictability of a moving target and the necessity to respond in real time.

Pad and Mitt Drills: Have your partner hold up focus mitts or pads with unexpected movement or cues. As soon as a target appears—be it high, low, lateral, or angled.You need to strike as fast as possible. Mixing in feints and sudden changes forces your brain to adapt fast.

Slow Sparring: Reduce the power and tempo, but keep the movements genuine. Slow-motion sparring allows you to recognise cues from your partner, like shoulder movement or hip shifts—that signal incoming attacks. This helps you read intent and react with accurate timing.

Touch Reaction Games: One exercises speed by racing to touch a glove or dodge a tap from your partner. These soft, fast reactions “wake up” your nervous system and build automatic responses.

Added drills for variety:

Shadowboxing against unpredictable commands.

Defensive-only rounds, where you work solely on countering or slipping attacks.

For more ideas, check out these martial arts reaction speed drills and fun boxing reaction drills.

Unpredictable Stimuli: Reaction Balls and Multi-Sensory Tools

Randomness is a key ingredient. If your senses only train against predictable attacks, real fights will catch you by surprise. Reaction balls and similar tools bring that needed chaos.

Reaction Balls: Their odd shape makes them bounce in random directions. Try dropping or throwing one against a wall and catching it before it hits the floor. Reaction balls are famously used in all levels of martial arts to build hand-eye coordination and lightning-fast hands.

Multi-Sensory Training Tools: Modern reaction kits now combine lights, sound, or even touch. Some systems flash a light or sound a buzzer that cues your movement. This teaches your eyes, ears, and even balance sensors to react together, just like you must in real training.

Home Options: You don’t need high-end equipment to benefit. Grab an affordable reaction ball and you can challenge your reflexes at home, in the gym, or outdoors.

Unpredictability turns every repetition into a real-world test for your reaction time.

Sports Vision Training and Perceptual Conditioning

How quickly you process what you see often decides the fight. Sports vision training teaches your eyes and brain to communicate at maximum speed.

Dynamic Vision Drills: These target skills like tracking fast objects, shifting focus between near and far, and reacting to images that pop in and out. Your vision becomes more than passive observation—it becomes an active, trained tool.

Perceptual Conditioning: Beyond the eyes, this includes mental exercises for reading tells, like small shifts in an opponent’s posture. Activities might involve identifying patterns, colours, or numbers at a glance, then taking instant action.

Incorporating into Martial Arts: Catching tennis balls dropped from above, using light boards that flash signals, or tracking multiple moving objects can all translate directly to blocking a punch or dodging a kick.

Martial artists are discovering that with regular sports vision and perceptual drills, they instinctively spot attacks sooner and make split-second decisions faster. Learn how custom sports vision training shortens reaction times or dive deeper into what visual skills matter most.

Harnessing Technology: Wearables, AI, and Virtual Reality

Tech is transforming how martial artists track and build their reflexes. Today’s devices offer at-home and gym solutions for anyone serious about measuring progress.

Wearable Sensors: Tiny sensors placed on gloves or worn on the body measure reaction time, punching speed, or movement accuracy. Data gives instant feedback so you can make rapid improvements.

AI Trainers: Some apps or smart devices use artificial intelligence to call out random attacks, light up targets, or adjust the difficulty based on your speed. This keeps training fresh and prevents you from falling into predictable habits.

Virtual Reality: VR training places you into a simulated sparring match. Facing virtual opponents, you dodge, kick, and counter in a totally safe space. Programs like Virtual Reality Cognitive Training and brain-training games on major VR platforms, such as REAKT on Meta Quest, help measure your progress over time and target your unique weak points.

Wearable and digital tools don’t replace partner work, but they give valuable metrics and take training beyond the gym. If you want to learn more about how these advances are impacting martial arts, read about the importance of reflex training in combat sports.

Photo by RDNE Stock project

Martial artists now have more options than ever to train their reflexes—fusing tradition with innovation for better speed and sharper focus.

Beyond Speed: Reflex Training for Awareness and Defence

Fine-tuning reflexes is not limited to getting faster at blocking strikes or landing punches. Reflex training unlocks a wider set of skills in martial arts like reading an opponent, sensing threats or defending yourself before things go sideways. Think of fast reflexes as the foundation, but anticipation, awareness and control are what give you a real advantage. The best athletes handle surprise and pressure by combining sharp minds with sharp reflexes.

Developing Anticipation and Reading Opponents

Martial arts rewards those who see the next move before it happens. Elite martial artists don't just react; they anticipate. By picking up subtle cues and patterns, you can predict incoming attacks and turn defence into offence.

Photo by Artem Podrez

Key methods to develop these skills include:

Studying opponent tendencies: Watch for hand position, breathing changes, stance shifts, or muscle tension. Over time, familiar patterns appear before strikes or takedowns.

Drilling with purpose: Practice with partners who mix in feints, quick rhythm changes, and combinations. This keeps your brain guessing, so you learn to pick up on real signals rather than falling for every trick.

Simulation and sparring: Use slow-motion and scenario-based sparring to spot and respond to early cues. Training your eyes to notice slight movements trains your brain to act preemptively.

Science backs this up. Research shows that karate experts respond faster not just because they are quick, but because they’ve sharpened their ability to anticipate and identify where, when, and how an opponent will move (Reaction times and anticipatory skills of karate athletes). High-level martial arts practitioners develop superior perceptual anticipation and tend to act before their opponent’s attack is obvious (comparison of perceptual anticipation in combat sports).

Working on anticipation also reduces the chances of injury. You cut off threats before they build, giving you more control in dangerous situations.

Integrating Cognitive and Physical Conditioning

True speed and safety come when your mind and body work together, even when fatigue or stress rise during a sparring match. Fast reflexes are wasted if they are drowned out by panic or clouded judgment.

Cognitive training builds calmness, focus and emotional control. When you're calm and clear-headed:

You process information quickly, so cues don’t slip by.

You’re less likely to overreact to feints or mind games.

You stay loose, which keeps movements smooth and reaction time sharp.

Martial artists use mindfulness, controlled breathing and visual focus drills to sharpen this edge. Purposeful stress during training such as changing partners, adjusting lighting or increasing noise. This teaches you to control your emotions and maintain awareness under pressure. The aim is to react to a real threat, not just flinch at the wrong moment.

Adding mental conditioning amplifies the benefits of physical drills. Neuroscience supports that when athletes control stress and stay mentally engaged, their reflexes stay fast and precise (Karate: Emotions and Movement Anticipation). Tools like situational awareness exercises, peripheral vision challenges, and real-time scenario games are becoming essential for martial artists (Situational Awareness Training: 14 Ways to Improve Your SA).

For more on how combining mental and physical training elevates your martial arts practice, explore how NeuroTracker training boosts combat sports performance.

Bringing cognitive skills and physical drills together helps martial artists recognise danger, avoid mistakes and turn reflexes into true self defence. Enhanced awareness not only prevents injury but also opens up new ways to counter attacks, control space and even de-escalate conflict before it starts.

Final Thoughts

Fast reflexes aren’t just a talent reserved for the professionals—they’re the result of smart, focused training that everyone can apply. Science shows that targeted practice reshapes the brain and body, making every block, counter, and decision faster and more reliable. Embracing neural training, reaction drills and cognitive exercises lets martial artists adapt to anything their training partner throws at them.

Backed by these clear strategies, you have the tools to sharpen your reflexes and protect yourself with greater awareness. Start building these habits into your routine. Please feel free to share your progress or favourite drills in the comments below—let’s keep pushing the science and art of martial arts together.

Thanks for reading and training with intention.

Source: Fast Reflexes in Martial Arts

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onhirel-reblogs · 1 month ago

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Atrapadas pero les valió ellas querían seguir, tan bonito, las manos son mi sufriento

PD: ya no voy a subir dibujitos hasta nose, las semanas que siguen las tengo ocupadas (⁠T⁠T⁠) y el dibujo no me gustó se ve nose muy achicado nose.

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onhirel-reblogs · 1 month ago

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I can now fade away into secrecy as long as you all have dark mode enabled. if you don't I will take it personally. hey. hey you. you shouldn't be able to read this. jerk

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onhirel-reblogs · 1 month ago

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Okay, this is brilliant. Very well done!

I know for a fact that my stepmother loves me.

I know it for a fact because the vaccine for the sleeping sickness came out when I was ten, and she cried. When she was a kid, parents would have Sleep Overs whenever someone caught it, in the hopes of spread it around - children were statistically more likely to be woken up by "True Love's Kiss" from a parent or family member, after all, whereas if you caught it when you were older, things got more complicated and if you were old, you might be the last one in your family left.

(There’s more to it than that, I know, I've tried reading the papers, but I barely passed biocurse with a C+, and don't even get me started on organic curses. Those two classes were enough to kill any hope I had of becoming a fairy godperson.)

So, when the vaccine against the sleeping sickness came out, my stepmother cried, and my father got me on the list right away; I wasn't high priority, after all; I was young, there wasn't an active outbreak in my school district, and I was otherwise healthy. But they put me on the backup list anyway, so if there was one, just one available, I could get it.

When the fairy godperson's office called, my dad was at work, but my stepmother bundled me up and drove there so fast I thought we were going to be pulled over. (Later, I found out that she'd gotten an automated ticket from one of the red light cameras, a fact that she hid from both me and my dad.) They called my dad, of course, and he left work, but he also gave the okay for my stepmother to be my medical proxy in case he was delayed.

Vaccines don't last forever, and it was decided that I would be given it without him there. At 100 minutes, my stepmother would try kissing my forehead, and if it didn't work, the office would set me up for the 100 hours it would take before my dad could try.

Magic can't be ignored, but it can be tricked.

It didn't matter. At 100 minutes post-vaccine, my stepmother kissed my forehead and I woke up.

So. I know she loves me.

My mom would have been there, if she could, but she died when I was five. She'd gotten Rapunzelean cancer in high school, but she'd beaten it! She was one of the successes!

...Until it came back.

I don't remember much about her, but I remember that she loved me. Even as the golden tumors grew from her bare scalp and sucked the life out of her, she would sing to me, and she wrote me a series of letters for me as I grew up, just in case.

My stepmother took me to her grave sometimes. My dad does too, but it's nice that my stepmother is willing, you know? I had a breakdown one year when I couldn't find my mom's favorite flowers to take to her burial site, and my stepmom drove me all over town until we found one store that had them in the right color. (My dad was at the fairy godperson's office to get some pre-wards before we went to the cemetery. I found out later that his father had caught a curse shortly after my grandmother passed away, specifically geriatric onset donkeyskin, and my father was paranoid of following in his footsteps.)

My dad and my stepmom shuffled their shifts, so that one of them was with me in the morning before school, and one of them was there after, and then both were home for dinner. When I told them I wanted to study to be a fairy godperson, they took me seriously, even though I had wanted to be a pilot and a vet, and and a lawyer and and and - they always supported me, and soon I was being gifted books on the history of magicomedicine and cursebreaking. Some of them gave me nightmares - siren's disease freaked me out for a long time; something about the tongue swelling so much you would suffocate, and the agonizing images of ancient "cures" where the victim had to get their tongue cut out so they could breathe. I don't even know why! There were much worse ones! But something about that was so visceral to me. For the next month, any time my feet hurt even a little was convinced I was coming down with siren's disease.

I worried my parent's so much that they took me to Fairy Elena, my PCFP, and asked if she would be willing to go over how siren's is treated now. She gave me a quick rundown on intubation, pain medication, and told me about Prince's Blood Donations.

It was the first time I learned that magic can be tricked; according to legend, siren's disease could be cured by killing someone's true love and smearing their blood over the patient's legs. At least, that was one line of thought; another line of thought argued that it had to be the blood of royalty. Some fairy godpersons and magicoresearchers got together in the '80s and decided to research it methodically, going through every known case of siren's disease & what worked and what didn't. It turned out royalty was the key, but then it became a question of ethics. I didn't care too much at the time, that was all boring, grown-up stuff, but finally one researcher decided to just make a blood bank company, call it Prince's and see if that worked.

And it did.

Magic can be tricked, and my mind was blown.

I also asked my dad if we could put that book away for a little, because it was too scary. He agreed, and we put it on the top shelf, where all the scary books went. I reread it recently, and honestly? I don't remember what I was so afraid of.

Things started changing when I turned 16.

For one, my hair, which had always been brown, started darkening to black. For another, I stopped being able to tan. It was like a light switch went off; magic was determined to turn me into something, and I hated it. My PCFP really went to bat for me, getting insurance to cover the cost of cosmetic glamours and professional tanning sprays. She wanted me to tell my parents, but I didn't want to, not yet, and she was bound by her oath to protect my privacy.

She was right. But... I wanted to ignore it. I wanted to pretend everything was fine.

I didn't want to lose another mom.

And it worked for a while; managed to get to my senior year of high school before the world broke.

Stepmothers don't have the best reputation.

It fucking sucks, and it's not fair, but enough stories have been told about them that magic took an interest, and began manifesting curses that warp stepmothers until they follow the story.

We thought we were safe. My stepmother didn't bring any children into the marriage, so she was safe from the ash-girl curse variant, and I was a tanned brunette, so we were safe from the snow-daughter variant.

And she loved me.

She hid it too, I think. Not intentionally, but some of the symptoms are paranoia and anxiety.

I've done a lot of research. I don't think I'll ever be able to be a fairy godperson, but that doesn't mean I had to stop caring. I swapped my focus to researching curses from the history and literature side of things. I still work with researchers, we just come from different angles now.

Anyway, no one realized anything was wrong until she was french braiding my hair and the next thing I knew, she had locked herself in the bathroom sobbing while EMTs took me to the hospital for overnight observation. I don't actually know what happened. She turned herself over to the cops as soon I was loaded onto the ambulance, and she was taken to a hospital herself. She was sedated at first, as she was so wound up that she was hurting herself, and the hospital couldn't scan her for curses. Once she came out of sedation, she immediately called my dad and offered a divorce, he could take everything, she would leave immediately.

But we'd gotten the results of the scans, and I was fine. As best that the fairy godperson's could tell, the magic was frustrated that we didn't want to go down the snow-daughter route, and had lashed out in an attempt to force it. That was apparently what knocked me unconscious; magic poisoned the comb my stepmother was using in my hair.

That didn't mean she didn't feel guilty - but so did I. If I had told them earlier, would things have changed? If I hadn't tried to hide the signs that magic was fucking with us?

They don't blame me, and I don't blame her.

She loves me. I know she does. We still talk, as best as we can. She can only hear my voice for ten minutes before the curse starts taking over. We can email, though, as long as the orderlies can prescreen the email for any curse triggers. She also can't hear about me directly, but my dad will go and visit her, and tell me how she's doing. He refused to divorce her. His insurance still covers her hospital stay. He says he's married, and wears his ring.

When I applied to college, I wrote about all three of my parents, and how much they had all taught me.

How much they all loved me.

Someday, my stepmother will get her curse lifted, I have to believe that. I've joined a multidisciplinary group of researchers based in the EU. Some of us are looking at ways to trick magic, some of us are looking at ways to rewrite the stories of the wicked stepmothers, and create a new path for the magic to follow. One group of researchers is looking into ways of simulating the punishments that stepmothers receive at the end of tales to see if "punishing" stepmothers would break the curse. Actually going through the punishments would cause any ethical review board to remove someone's license, and there's no way I would want my stepmom to dance in red hot metal shoes.

But lately she's been getting hot stone foot massages before I call her; that's how we got to ten minutes before the curse took hold, and next week we're going to see if holding her feet in a hot bath lets us video call. Maybe someday we'll be able to see each other in person again. Maybe I'll be able to take her home where dad and I can cook dinner for her, and we can be a family again. My family has an apple pie recipe, and we never made it - I understand why, now, but maybe someday we can laugh at this and all make it together. To make your own apple pie, you'll need...

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