only-here-for-the-ships

[only-here-for-the-ships]

“Janna and Princess Turdina” Chapter 2: “Hear Ye, Hear Ye”

The towers of St. Olga’s Reform School for Wayward Princesses loomed over the 3 teenagers. Grey clouds prevented any sunlight from reaching the ground, leaving only the crooked windows to illuminate the dark valley.

“This place is so eerie,” said Janna, glancing at Turdina and Star to see familiar dread. “It’s my kind of vibe!”

“You won’t be saying that once we get inside. It’s a dystopian nightmare in there,” cautioned Turdina in a treble pitch. Janna couldn’t help but think about how cute she found this higher voice.

One of the towers lay collapsed next to the complex. “Did you do that?” asked Janna.

“We had help from the other princesses,” explained Star, starting to smile again.

They entered the main lobby, not a single light on. Star tiptoed in front, Turdina pulled up her pink ballgown to avoid tripping, and even Janna decided to step more quietly.

Suddenly, a light came from the top of the stairs. Star grabbed her wand in anticipation, and Turdina carefully stepped right beside her. A silhouette emerged, blocking some of the light.

“I have a wand!” shouted Star.

“And I have a red belt!” said Turdina.

The silhouette spoke. “Turdina and Star? Is that you?”

Star took a relieved sigh, and Turdina’s tensed shoulders relaxed.

The silhouette revealed herself as Princess Arms, one of the many princesses inspired by Princess Turdina’s cause. Having 4 hands, she simultaneously shook the hands of Star, Turdina, and Janna.

“So glad you’re back,” said Princess Arms. “A lot of new princesses don’t believe Turdina was real, so now we can prove it to them!”

“I thought another headmistress would’ve taken over the school once Heinous was kicked out,” said Turdina.

“They tried to install others, but every time they do, we fought back,” said Arms.

As the four walked across the lit hallway at the top of the stairs, Janna saw a large number of Turdina posters hung on the walls and some holiday lights strung above.

“We’re going to renovate the school to our liking, so you should come back again in a few weeks,” said Arms.

“I already like it now,” said Janna, almost dizzied by the sight.

The group stopped at the intersection of 2 hallways.

“I’m going to gather up all the princesses, Turdina,” explained Arms. “Meet us in the assembly courtyard.” She ran ahead down 1 of the hallways, while Star led the way down another.

Turdina walked quite a bit slower than Star, apparently not as used to walking in high heels as her. Janna took this opportunity to walk next to Turdina.

“So I heard Jackie broke up with you,” said Janna in a hushed voice. “How are you holding up with that?”

“Okay, I guess,” said Turdina. “I feel bad that she felt our relationship could not work. I never meant to disregard her, I just…”

“Wanted to help on Mewni?” offered Janna.

Turdina nodded. Janna realized how much between a rock and a hard place Marco/Turdina was in, trying to be there for Jackie but also fighting for Star’s community.

“Who knows? Maybe someone else will come along,” said Janna with a shrug.

Turdina looked down at the floor, glittery eye shadow sparkling in the hallway candelabras. “I’m not sure about that.”

“Oh great kingdom of Echo Creek!” announced Janna in her best town crier voice. “Who shall take the hand of this fair maiden?”

Turdina chuckled a bit.

“What you two talking about?” said Star, glancing back at them.

“Relationship issues,” said Turdina honestly.

“Your lady-in-waiting wants to be swept off her feet again!” Janna continued in that theatric tone.

Suddenly, Turdina and Star froze in their tracks, eyes widening. Janna looked ahead to see what looked like a middle-aged woman with a tattered dress.

“Miss Heinous!” exclaimed Turdina. “What are you doing here?”

“I heard that you would be returning to St. Olga’s tonight,” said Heinous, “so I returned to turn the princesses against you!”

Janna noticed Star’s expression quickly turn from surprise to annoyance. Star pulled out her wand and lazily said, “Spider With a Top Hat.”

Heinous flinched at the sight. “You may have won this round, but I’ll be back!” She climbed out the nearest window.

“Darn, not even a chance to attack,” said the magical spider. He turned around to see Star, Turdina, and Janna. Focusing on Janna, he said, “Hello, who are you?”

Star placed a hand on Janna’s shoulder. “This is Janna Ordonia. She’s a friend of mine.”

“Sup!” said Janna.

“Pleasure to meet you, Ms. Ordonia. A friend of Princess Butterfly is a friend of mine!” said the mustached arachnid.

He walked up and Janna instinctively put her hand to the ground so Spider could climb on it. “Woah,” she said, intrigued with the machine gun that had popped out of Spider’s top hat, “does that shoot real bullets?”

“It does indeed!” said Spider With a Top Hat proudly. “Though my fellow spells are quite formidable too, and they throw the best parties.”

The trio continued onward, Janna spending the whole time asking Spider questions about living in Star’s wand. After they reached the courtyard stage, Turdina asked, “So Cloudy and the laser puppies aren’t the only sentient spells?”

Unlike Janna and Turdina, Star took no apparent interest.

“Not even close!” said Spider with a hearty laugh. “There’s a whole community in there. They’re my greatest friends, gotten me through difficult times.”

“Wow, I’m glad we didn’t lose you when Toffee made Star destroy the wand,” said Turdina.

“As long as the magic survives, we survive,” said Spider. “So there’s no need to worry!”

It wasn’t long before Princess Arms had gathered the rest of the school. At the center of the stage, she introduced Turdina then declared, “I told you she was real, Tiffany!”

Turdina took a deep breath, and slightly pouted her lips in determination. The thought of kissing those pink, glossed lips ran through Janna’s head before Turdina approached the stage pulpit and started speaking encouraging words to her fellow princesses.

---

This is a fan work, based on the TV series Star versus the Forces of Evil (copyrighted by Disney). Everything copyrightable in this text that is not copyrighted by Disney is released by its author, only-here-for-the-ships, under the Creative Commons Zero.

[only-here-for-the-ships]

“Sugar Rush Left Behind” Chapter 2: “The Players Love Her”

Mr. Litwak had just installed the new steering wheel for Sugar Rush. The 9 racers chosen for the roster that day (at random, so everyone could have a chance) stood on the podium next to the race course. Dozens of candy characters cheered in the bleachers.

Also in the audience sat Tamora, Felix, and the security guard for Game Central Station, Surge Protector. The married couple had insisted on being there to support them for their first race after being reinstated.

“I’ll get back to Hero’s Duty before any player can say, ‘Let’s shoot some cybugs!’” said Tamora with unbridled enthusiasm.

“And the same for my game,” added her husband.

Rancis, standing on the podium, noticed the other racers’ elation at being back in business, and the similar energy from Felix and Calhoun.

“I should be happy too,” he thought. “I’m not game-less any more.” But he couldn’t shake that empty feeling inside.

Suddenly, a familiar, booming voice came from the large screen listing the roster. “Quarter alert!”

“Alright, head in the game,” Rancis told himself.

Rancis climbed into his Reese’s peanut butter cup-themed kart. Markers indicating the players hovered over Taffyta and, actually, him.

3 lights, and they were off.

Rancis let the player guide his kart across the track, around racers and giant gumball obstacles. He didn’t need to concentrate much, but that only let him dwell further on the fact that Vanellope would neither be racing alongside him nor cheering from the audience.

His kart grabbed each power-up box it came across, and each item hit its mark. This caught his attention, as normally players would often run into at least the occasional obstacle. By the time they reached the jumping ramp out of the giant cake, his player had brought him to 3rd place. Only Taffyta and Adorabeezle remained ahead of him, and only by a few kart-lengths.

Shortly after they flew off the ramp, Taffyta threw an expertly-timed power-up at Adorabeezle, stopping her midair and sending her into the cupcake frosting below.

Taffyta laughed in her usual, haughty way. While Felix and Calhoun’s teachings about being kinder seemed to impress on the other racers, Taffyta only seemed to be nice when Felix and Calhoun were watching.

It was player versus player now. Powdered sugar snow began to pelt Rancis’s face, he looked around for Taffyta, but no sign of her. Suddenly, she ripped past him, coating his kart in the snow before they plunged into darkness.

The sugar crystal caves glimmered at the kart headlights, and the roar of the engines echoed throughout. Taffyta still rushed ahead, but Rancis slowly gained. Back into the sunlight, and the race was almost over. Every second, Rancis drew closer and closer. The finish line came into view. Just a couple more kart-lengths. Taffyta hit one of the boxes from the last line of power-ups, and less than a second later, so did Rancis.

The other player launched the item at Rancis, but his player anticipated it and swerved out of the way. Then at the player's command, he launched his perfectly-aimed power-up, causing Taffyta's kart to spin out. Rancis sped forward, and before Taffyta could catch up, he crossed the finish line.

“Wow, I finally won,” he thought, “after so long.” Then he spotted Taffyta coming to a stop beside him.

Rancis knew what it was like to have someone just beat you at the last second at a race, so despite everything, he still felt bad for her. “Oh, golly. I'm sorry you didn't win, Taffyta,” he said with sincerity.

Taffyta looked unimpressed for a moment, but as soon as she caught a glance of Felix and Calhoun, her expression turned nicer. “Pfft! Our friendship is much more important to me than winning, Rancis.”

***

Rancis stood on the podium, trophy in hand. One of the players looking through the screen was whooping in victory. For the first time since he heard that Vanellope had left for good, Rancis smiled. He looked back up at Felix, Tamora, and Surge Protector. Oddly, Surge looked actually surprised. Could it be because of how he pulled ahead last minute?

Felix and Tamora waved goodbye to all the racers and left the stands for Game Central Station, with Surge rubbing his forehead, still apparently in shock. There were no more players for a few minutes, so the participating racers discussed the race with the ones sitting out for the day.

Then sounded another “Quarter alert!” The racers glanced at the screen and noticed 2 familiar faces, Swati and her friend Nafisa, the former of which had accidentally broken the game’s steering wheel after Vanellope started going against her control. The 9 chosen racers went back to their places on the tracks as the players each opened the character select screen.

“Where’s Vanellope?” asked Swati.

Rancis glanced at Swati, who had a confused, almost concerned look.

“The roster changes every day,” explained Nafisa. “She’ll probably be playable tomorrow.”

“Oh, alright,” said Swati, in a disappointed tone.

For the next 4 days, Nafisa and Swati came at least once to see what the new roster was. Every time, whether from his kart or in the bleachers, Rancis noticed Swati’s reaction to Vanellope’s absence, and even Nafisa started to become visibly confused.

On the 4th day, Swati asked, “Is there a way to see all of the racers, even the ones not chosen?”

Nafisa typed something into her phone, most likely looking up Swati’s question. “Yes, if you go into settings, then characters, then list all.” A few sounds from navigating the settings echoed through the game. “Huh, didn’t there used to be 15 racers? Now there are 14.”

Rancis’s stomach tightened. “Stick to the program,” he remembered, so he kept an unemotional look.

“Vanellope’s not here at all,” said Swati. “Check on your machine.”

“Not there either,” said Nafisa.

“Should we tell Mr. Litwak?” asked Swati.

“Well, the game was just fixed. Maybe we can wait until there’s a factory reset?”

The 2 girls stood up and left for another arcade console.

Rancis couldn’t stand it any longer. He bolted out of the stands and into the racer village behind.

“Why’s he leaving?” said Citrusella.

“Who cares?” said Taffyta dismissively.

“I’ll go talk to him,” said Swizzle.

He walked into the village and knocked on Rancis’s door, hearing a faint, “Come in.”

Swizzle found Rancis on his couch, his face in his hands.

“Is this about Vanellope leaving?” asked Swizzle, with a concerned tone.

“Yes,” said Rancis. “Are Swati and Nafisa the only other people who are bothered by this?”

“It’s alright, they’ll come back and play eventually,” said Swizzle. “Sugar Rush got plenty of quarters before Vanellope became president.”

“You mean when Turbo had us all brainwashed?” snapped Rancis.

Swizzle stood in silence, looking tongue-tied.

“The players love her, and for good reason. She’s charming, funny, and has those deep, hazel eyes—”

“What do her eyes got to do with this?” said Swizzle.

Rancis felt his cheeks flush a bit. He didn’t mean to mention that last part.

He continued, “We treated her like dirt after Turbo took over, but she forgave us and treated us like equals. She never did anything wrong to us. I made fun of her glitching…”

“Exactly, she forgave us,” said Swizzle. “And we were brainwashed. And that was 6 years ago!”

“Were we boring her? Not giving her the life she wanted?”

“Whatever it is, she’s happy where she is now. It’s time we move on.”

Rancis raised his head out of his hands and looked Swizzle in the eye. “Easy for you to say. You have Sticky as a girlfriend!”

Swizzle’s eyes narrowed. “Do you have a thing for Vanellope?”

Rancis looked away. “I need some time alone.”

Nougetsia stood outside Rancis’s house. Swizzle came out. “He won’t talk to any of us racers,” he explained.

“Maybe we should ask Felix and Tamora about this after the arcade closes,” suggested Nougetsia. “They have great advice for these kinds of things.”

***

The California sunset shone through the arcade doors, partially blocked by Mr. Litwak locking up before he left for his car. Calhoun was high-fiving Markowski (he had become more adapted to fighting bugs over the past 6 years), and Felix was sharing cake with Ralph and the Q*bert characters when Nougetsia and Swizzle told them what had happened.

“I should have fixed the elevator faster. Then we could have gotten down before Rancis finished talking with Ralph,” said Felix, while he and his wife walked through the crowded Game Central Station.

“Look, you didn’t know,” said Tamora, dodging around Dig Dug. “We’ll smooth this out faster than a torrent beating against an ancient igneous.”

As they came up to Rancis’s home, Felix asked, “Should you talk to him first, or should I? Or maybe both of us?”

“I can try first.” She knocked. “Can I come in, lamb?”

No answer.

“I heard what happened,” she said. “You must feel devastated. I know what it’s like to lose someone you love, and you ever want to talk about it, I’d sure be happy to.”

Silence. Raising an eyebrow, Tamora put her hand on the knob and, to the surprise of both her and Felix, it turned easily. The unlocked door creaked open and the couple entered. Calhoun spotted a note on the graham cracker table:

“Going to the Internet. Will be back soon.”

“Oh my land!” exclaimed Felix.

---

This is a fan work, based on the movies Wreck-it Ralph and Ralph Breaks the Internet (copyrighted by Disney). Everything copyrightable in this text that is not copyrighted by Disney is released by its author, only-here-for-the-ships, under the Creative Commons Zero.

[only-here-for-the-ships]

“Sugar Rush Left Behind” Chapter 1: “A Letter from Rancis”

Rancis Fluggerbutter sat on top of the main Fix-it Felix Junior building, wistfully looking out at the unplugged Sugar Rush arcade machine. The racer illustrations on the machine’s side, all with happy faces, contrasted sharply from its dark screen, which was usually alight with vivid color.

The silence was broken by footsteps behind him. He whipped around his head to see Felix walking toward him, who looked concerned. “What brings you up here, Rancis?” asked the repairman. “Getting some fresh air from all the bedlam downstairs?”

“It’s not that,” said Rancis in a faint voice.

Felix noticed where Rancis was looking. “You’re concerned about your game, aren’t you?” said Felix in an understanding tone. He sat down next to him. “I was horrified when this game was almost unplugged 6 years ago. There’s no shame in feeling troubled about it. For what it’s worth, I’m darn tootin’ sure that Ralph and Vanellope will find another steering wheel.”

“I’m sure they will,” said Rancis. “There’s actually something else though.”

“Care to share?”

“Well, there’s this girl I know.” Rancis felt his face flush slightly.

Felix smiled with a knowing look. “Ah, she gives you the honey glows!”

“Yeah, but I don’t know if she will like me back.”

“You’ll never know if you never ask,” said Felix. “You think I would have ever ended up with Tammy if I wasn’t honest with her?”

“I just don’t think I can say it,” said Rancis. “I haven’t been able to say it for 6 years.”

“There are other ways you could tell her. Write her a song, give her flowers, write a letter—”

The heaviness in Rancis’s stomach suddenly became lighter than air. “That’s a great idea! Thanks, Felix!” he said before eagerly running downstairs, leaving Felix with a stunned expression.

“Huh, maybe I’m not such a bad father figure after all.” The mechanic smiled even wider.

***

“Done!” said Rancis in triumph. After agonizing over the exact words and crumpling up drafts for hours, he could at last put the final letter in an envelope. He had spilled all of his feelings for this special someone onto this paper, and felt ready to share it with her. Taking some water from his apartment sink, he sealed the letter.

Then, as if on cue, he heard a knock. He tripped a bit over all the crumpled up paper overflowing the nearby wastebasket on his way to the door, which he opened to see Candlehead.

“Ralph’s back!” she said without hesitation. Rancis’s eyes widened and his heart began to beat rapidly.

“Great! I’ll be right down!” he responded.

Candlehead nodded and went down the hall. Rancis raced to his desk, steering clear of the paper on the floor, and wrote the recipient name on the envelope. After briefly checking his hair in the mirror (perfect, as usual), he sprinted out his apartment to the nearest elevator.

“Out of order?” he thought in disbelief. That’s what the sign said, but it wasn’t there an hour ago. Ugh, maybe Gloyd broke it for a prank again.

Rancis was not used to the stairs. Even though he was going down, it was still a lot of floors and he had to stop every few flights to catch his breath. Finally, he reached the lobby. Once out of the building’s front double doors, Rancis spotted a crowd of Sugar Rush racers next to the train station, huddled around the giant that was Wreck-it Ralph.

By the time Rancis got to the group, they were already starting to disperse. “Taffyta, what happened?” he asked.

“Ask yourself,” she said in her usual haughty tone and left without another word.

Rancis groaned in frustration. “Did they find another steering wheel?” he asked Adorabeezle as she walked by him.

“No time, gotta go!” she said with a grin.

Rancis spotted Gloyd and without thinking, he glared at him and shouted, “Did you break the elevator again?” Gloyd just gave him a smug look and shoved past him. The last of the other racers disbanded, leaving Ralph standing in front of the little railroad tracks. Focused again, Rancis came up to the Goliath-sized man.

“Sorry, the elevator was broken. Can you fill me in?” asked Rancis.

“Sure can,” said Ralph in a lighthearted voice. “We got another steering wheel and it’s being shipped here.”

Rancis gave a sigh of relief. “Glad to hear that.” But then he noticed that no one was in the Nicelander-sized train. “Where’s Vanellope?” he asked.

“Oh, while we were out in the Internet, we found this game called ’Slaughter Race’,” explained Ralph.

Rancis cringed a bit. “Gruesome sounding name.”

“Yeah, I thought so too!” said Ralph, sounding validated. “But anyway, she made some friends and she decided she wanted to stay there. Despite the game’s name, the people can be quite nice once you get to know them, as long as you’re not one of the players.”

Rancis smiled at this. “Wow, sounds cool!” he said. “So, when is she planning on getting back?”

“Well, that’s just it. They added her code to the game.”

Rancis’s heart sunk. “She isn’t coming back then?”

“Ah, don’t worry,” said Ralph in a matter-of-fact tone. “As she put it, she was one of 16 racers, so no one would miss her.”

Rancis hung his head.

“You feeling okay, Rancis?” said Ralph.

Without replying, Rancis started to trudge back to the apartment complex. The envelope slipped between his fingers onto the ground, and he didn’t bother to pick it back up.

The light from the arcade illuminated the recipient’s name: “Vanellope von Schweetz”.

---

This is a fan work, based on the movies Wreck-it Ralph and Ralph Breaks the Internet (copyrighted by Disney). Everything copyrightable in this text that is not copyrighted by Disney is released by its author, only-here-for-the-ships, under the Creative Commons Zero.

[only-here-for-the-ships]

“Janna and Princess Turdina” Chapter 1: “A Whole New Diaz?”

Janna Ordonia scurried out of the Echo Creek Cemetery while the caretaker spewed violent threats at her. She was only trying to dig up a grave! Out on the sidewalk, she yelled back, “Nothing you can do now!” The caretaker grunted in defeat and walked back to the columbarium.

Janna readjusted her beanie and crossed the street into town. “What should I do now?” she wondered. The morgue was closed, and the John Keats reading club wouldn’t meet again until next Tuesday. Maybe a burrito would help her think.

As she approached Britta’s Tacos, employee Sensei Brantley eyed her with disgust. Oh yeah, Janna was banned from Britta’s Tacos, and she forgot to bring a disguise. “I’m not hungry,” she declared in front of the burly employee. “I just wanna sit and think.” Brantley’s eyes narrowed further, but he went back to making tortillas.

Sitting at one of the outdoor tables, Janna rested her head on her hand. Maybe she could find a wrestling match to attend, but she didn’t know of any at this hour. She looked back at Brantley, still garbed in his martial arts attire underneath his restaurant uniform. There was someone else she knew who was good at martial arts: Marco Diaz.

Ever since she met Marco in elementary school, Janna jumped at every opportunity to spend time with him, even if it made him “a little uncomfortable.” This led to her mother often asking, “Do you have a crush on that Diaz boy?” Janna quickly denied this every time, of course.

***

The Diaz residence, complete with the room magically added by Star Butterfly, stood in the evening darkness, soft light pouring out its windows. Janna smiled at the light coming from Marco’s room. With how much Star whisked him away to the planet Mewni, Janna was starting to miss Marco’s dorky grin.

Janna didn’t need to knock on the door, she already had a stolen key. Inside, she spotted Mr. and Mrs. Diaz in the kitchen, wearing pajamas.

“Hello Janna,” said Mr. Diaz nonchalantly, placing teabags into steaming mugs of water. “What brings you here?”

This was not the first time Janna had just walked into the house, and neither of Marco’s parents ever seemed to mind her entering uninvited. If they ever did have a problem with it, she could just sneak through the window.

“Just visiting Marco and Star,” said Janna.

“They’re upstairs,” said Mrs. Diaz.

“Peppermint tea?” offered Mr. Diaz.

“No thanks,” said Janna before heading up.

She first walked to the closed door leading into Star’s room and knocked. “Hey, you there, Star?”

“Hi Janna!” came Star’s voice muffled through the door. “Sorry, I’m just about to get into the shower. We have business on Mewni,” she said in her usual bubbly tone.

“How about Marco?” asked Janna.

“Getting dressed.”

Janna smirked. She loved sneaking in on Marco in embarrassing situations. “Cool. Thanks, Star.”

Without a moment of hesitation, Janna opened the door into Marco’s room without knocking. Nothing out of the ordinary, just empty. Spotting the door to the bathroom, she grinned mischievously and barged in, warm steam from the recent shower permeating the air. Even though she had seen Marco in just a towel before, she was not ready for what she saw.

Marco sat in front of her, wearing a frilly, pink ballgown and pulling a stocking up his leg. He apparently noticed the sound of the door slamming open, since he looked up to see Janna’s surprised expression.

Marco yelped. “Janna! What did I tell you about knocking?”

Janna didn’t respond. She could only keep looking Marco’s outfit up and down. Finally, she said, “Marco, I had no idea you were into cross-dressing.”

Marco’s already red cheeks went an even deeper shade of scarlet. “It’s more complicated than that! I’m doing this for the princesses of St. Olga’s!”

Janna blinked in confusion. “You mean that school you saved Ponyhead from?”

Marco nodded. “When we went to save her, Star disguised me as a princess so we could move around the school undetected.” He explained how he inadvertently became a symbol of liberation to St. Olga’s students as “Princess Turdina”, and wanted to continue supporting them. He then closed his eyes with an embarrassed face.

“Honestly, it’s super cool that you’re willing to do that for them,” said Janna.

Marco opened his eyes. “You really think so? You’re not just pulling my leg?”

Janna gave an unusually sincere smile. Marco sighed in relief.

“Anything I can do to help you out?” said Janna.

“Actually, yeah. I’m having trouble with the dress zipper. Star usually helps me, but she had to wait to shower until I finished.”

Janna raised an eyebrow. “Were you hogging all the hot water?”

“Poor planning on my part,” said Marco in a sheepish tone.

“Well, I’ll help you zip up.”

She walked behind him and started to pull up the zipper, only to stop for a second to chuckle. “Is that a bra you’re wearing under there?”

“Janna!” Marco protested.

After the dress, stockings, and shoes were in place, Marco opened a drawer under the sink and pulled out various bottles and tubes of makeup. Janna watched with interest while Marco put blush on his cheeks. He then attempted to add mascara to his eyelashes, but kept poking himself in the eye. “Ow!” he said each time.

“Not much experience, huh?” asked Janna.

“Yeah, I’ve only done this a couple of times before.”

“Mascara is hard to put on yourself. Want help?”

A brief pause, then a nod.

Janna expertly applied the mascara while Marco did his best to remain completely still. He thanked her once she finished and continued on his own.

“Can you grab my wig from the cabinet to the right?”

Janna did so, noticing the cute ponytail it was tied into. She placed it on the double-sink vanity in front of the mirror, in which Marco was now applying lipstick. Finally, Marco put on the wig, double-checked everything in the mirror, and turned toward Janna.

“How do I look?” Marco gave a nervous smile.

Taking it all in, Janna was shocked. The stockings and tennis shoes went surprisingly well together. The mascara really brought out Marco’s, or Princess Turdina’s, eyes. The pink lipstick perfectly matched the dress. His, or her, lips looked soft, so soft…

“You look super pretty,” admitted Janna.

“Thanks.”

“So, should I call you Marco or Turdina?” asked Janna, curious.

“You can call me either if I’m not in public like this. But I need to keep up this persona at St. Olga’s, so call me Turdina there.”

“Are you inviting me to come with?” That would somehow be the biggest surprise of the evening.

“Star and I can use all the help we can get tonight.”

“Alright then, Princess,” said Janna in a lighthearted tone.

Marco/Turdina blushed again, supposedly at being called “Princess” by Janna.

The duo met Star in the hallway, who was all dressed up and ready to leave. They explained to her that Janna was willing to come with.

“I can be a rogue princess who refuses to wear a ballgown,” offered Janna, in explanation of how she could blend in.

Star agreed. She pulled out the interdimensional scissors to open a portal and entered it.

“Ladies first,” said Janna, joking.

Princess Turdina rolled her eyes and made her way toward the portal. Before following though, Janna couldn’t help but be mesmerized by how daintily she walked.

---

This is a fan work, based on the TV series Star versus the Forces of Evil (copyrighted by Disney). Everything copyrightable in this text that is not copyrighted by Disney is released by its author, only-here-for-the-ships, under the Creative Commons Zero.

[only-here-for-the-ships]

Wendip Week 2024 Day 7: “...And Eventually Marry Wendy”

The Long Beach coastline gleamed in the orange sunlight. Leaning on a railing, Wendy and Dipper admired the dazzling sight, from the thousands of mirror-like windows from the skyscrapers to the shimmering water below them. Instinctively, they took hold of each other’s hand. Wendy’s diamond ring joined in the spectacle by glimmering in the evening light.

“I can’t believe we’re gonna live in Portland,” said Wendy. “A big city just like this one!”

“So the city boy gets to show the country lady life in the metropolis,” said Dipper. He put his other hand on the rail, making his wedding band also visible.

“What a reception, huh? Mabel’s speech was wild!”

“Still not as wild as hers,” said Dipper with a grin. “Remember how she tried to sneak Waddles into her wedding car?”

Wendy chuckled. “I’m still surprised my dad actually went through with ours. You saw how much he was crying during the ceremony?” said Wendy.

“I can’t blame him, giving his only daughter away,” said Dipper. “I’m still surprised he didn’t pummel me when he found out we wanted to get married.”

Wendy thought back to the day of the proposal.

“Still, marriage can be tough,” Wendy had said. “I mean, look at what happened with your parents. You’re sure about this?”

Dipper’s had an uncharacteristically certain look in his eyes. “Ever since that summer when I met you, I wanted to marry you. That has never changed, and it never will.”

Wendy’s thoughts came back to the present when Dipper said, “Oh, by the way, I reserved a time slot for the ropes course up on the sun deck. Thought you’d want me to.”

Wendy smiled wider. “You know me too well, little man.”

Dipper’s old sense of self-consciousness came through his expression. “You don’t have to rub it in.”

“Oh come on. You’re my husband now. You really think I’m not attracted to you because I’m still taller?”

“Yeah, you’re right,” said Dipper, his face relaxing again. The city became gradually smaller as the ship forged further down the Columbia River. “So, which food on the lido deck has been your favorite so far?” he asked, though he already knew the answer.

Wendy gave him a playful shove. “Dude, I can’t pick just one!”

A fit of laughter overcame both of them. It was almost a full minute before they caught their breaths. “Oh man, I never thought I’d finally tie the knot with someone,” said Wendy. “I thought it would just be one breakup after another forever.”

“That certainly won’t be how this one ends. You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever known,” said Dipper.

They began staring deep into each other’s eyes. On instinct, Dipper stood up on his toes so he could reach Wendy’s face without her needing to bend over, and Wendy happily responded to the gesture. The sun on the horizon still illuminated the whole deck as their lips met.

---

This is a fan work, based on the TV series Gravity Falls (copyrighted by Disney). Everything copyrightable in this text that is not copyrighted by Disney is released by its author, only-here-for-the-ships, under the Creative Commons Zero.

[only-here-for-the-ships]

Wendip Week 2024 Day 6: “Aftermath of Another Breakup”

Wendy’s vision was so blurred by tears that she could barely see the dark road ahead of her. “How could I have been so stupid?" she thought. The pit in her stomach bore deeper than the bottomless one near the Mystery Shack. She had broken up with several guys before, but this hurt the worst.

Robbie had been her friend for years. But he just couldn’t be honest with her. Putting secret “mind controlling” messages was one thing, but lying about writing that song that made her heart flutter? Not only that, but Dipper was so insensitive. “Now that your night is free?” It wasn’t like I had less homework! “I thought he was better than that,” she thought. Her breath shook as the lights from the little town below came into view.

A familiar, somewhat squeaky voice rung just loud enough to register in her ear. Gradually, it became louder until the words became distinct. “Wait!” it called. Her boots stopped in the dust and she turned on the spot. A small silhouette became unmistakable.

While Wendy had been trudging her way back to the Corduroy home, Dipper was almost sprinting. Wendy’s eyebrows furrowed. “Didn’t I tell you to leave me alone?” she said.

Dipper had a regretful look. “It was wrong for me to say that to you. You’re dealing with losing Robbie as your boyfriend, and I just made you feel worse. I’m so sorry.”

Wendy felt her anger toward him soften a little bit, but the pain she felt remained. “Glad you understand that,” she said coolly.

“If you really want me to leave you be, I will,” said Dipper. He started to turn away, but Wendy’s next words stopped him on the spot.

“Was there anything else you had to say?” Despite saying this, Wendy didn’t want to look Dipper in the eye, so she focused her gaze on the lights of tiny Gravity Falls. Tears continued to stream down her face.

“Um, I guess the reason why I asked if you wanted to go bowling or something was because I wanted to help you take your mind off your breakup.” Dipper’s voice sounded even more worried, as if he feared that he would hurt Wendy’s feelings further. “But I should have given you more time to process everything. If you ever want to talk about it, I’d be more than willing to listen.”

Wendy glanced back toward Dipper. He was looking down at the dark, powdery ground.

“I really care about you,” said Dipper, his voice starting to get shaky. “Hurting you is the last thing I ever want to do. I hope you’ll be able to forgive me for being so stupid.”

Feeling her face starting to dry, Wendy looked around and spotted a nearby fallen tree. She gestured for Dipper to follow her and to sit next to her on the pine log.

“I actually do want to talk about it,” she admitted. Dipper’s sympathetic frown turned into a slight, hopeful smile.

---

This is a fan work, based on the TV series Gravity Falls (copyrighted by Disney). Everything copyrightable in this text that is not copyrighted by Disney is released by its author, only-here-for-the-ships, under the Creative Commons Zero.

[only-here-for-the-ships]

Wendip Week 2024 Day 5: “Racing on the Ropes”

Old Jim’s Rope Course, just a hop and a skip from Lake Gravity Falls, bustled with adventurous customers despite the summer heat. Both strapped into harnesses, Dipper and Wendy navigated the rope and wood structures that connected the platforms. Wendy confidently forged ahead, while Dipper struggled to stay close enough behind her.

“Come on, slowpoke!” Wendy teased.

“I haven’t been on this course dozens of times like you have,” said Dipper with a playful tone.

“Sure you’re not just afraid of heights?” said Wendy.

Dipper grinned. “I’ve been on the Mystery Shack roof several times before! You know that!”

They both laughed. As Wendy came to one of the platforms at the corner of the course, she could spot Dipper’s great-uncles below. Stan argued with the person at the booth, supposedly about the cost of the tickets, while Ford seemed entirely engrossed with writing something in his journal. Mabel, Candy, and Grenda were just starting the course, while Robbie and Tambry were putting on their harnesses.

Wendy stopped in her tracks when she saw the latter couple share a kiss. Dipper, who was finally catching up, also stopped on the platform next to her and noticed what she was looking at.

“Is it still weird that your ex-boyfriend is dating one of your best friends now?” he asked.

“A little bit, but I’m glad Tambry’s happy and Robbie’s become better since dating her. Plus,” Wendy started pounding her sternum and spoke in a lower voice like her father, “a Corduroy must be tough.”

“No one needs to be tough all the time though,” said Dipper in a thoughtful tone.

“How about we talk after we finish the course?” suggested Wendy.

“Sounds like a plan,” said Dipper.

Wendy jokingly pushed Dipper’s hat over his eyes. “Have fun eating my dust!” she said.

Dipper chuckled before readjusting his hat, and going after her.

“Not too fast up there!” Ford shouted at them, finally torn from his writings.

“Are you kidding? Go faster!” yelled Stan in response. “If you break a bone, we can sue this place!” Ford sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

---

This is a fan work, based on the TV series Gravity Falls (copyrighted by Disney). Everything copyrightable in this text that is not copyrighted by Disney is released by its author, only-here-for-the-ships, under the Creative Commons Zero.

[only-here-for-the-ships]

Wendip Week 2024 Day 4: “Photos Found”

Wendy knocked on the main tourist entrance of the Mystery Shack. Oddly, no reply. After a couple more attempts, she pulled out her work key to unlock her way inside. No sign of Soos in the gift shop.

Then on the counter, she spotted a scribbly note that was barely legible. “Closed today. - Mr. Pines”

Wendy glanced into the living room and sure enough, Stan Pines was on the chair in front of the TV, passed out and surrounded by some empty Pit Cola cans. “Why didn’t the old crone tell us to take the day off?” she wondered. She began to storm toward the elderly man, ready to wake him up and tell him she had to bike halfway across town.

Something shiny in the somewhat dark room diverted her attention. It came from inside a cardboard box with a slightly open lid, and marked with the words: “Do Not Touch!” Without a moment’s hesitation, the ginger teenager removed the lid and, upon closer inspection, discovered the box contained dozens of photos.

Each one had a common subject: Wendy herself. She shuffled through them and found some of her alongside Dipper. Realizing the box’s owner, Wendy smiled warmly. “Dipper wasn’t kidding when he said he had feelings for me,” she thought.

Wendy looked at Mr. Pines, then walked back out of the Shack, locking the door behind her. “I’ll grill Stan tomorrow.”

---

This is a fan work, based on the TV series Gravity Falls (copyrighted by Disney). Everything copyrightable in this text that is not copyrighted by Disney is released by its author, only-here-for-the-ships, under the Creative Commons Zero.

[only-here-for-the-ships]

Wendip Week 2024 Day 3: “Sailor Outfit”

Dipper had faced many embarrassing moments in the past, but this was the most by far. In the middle of an incredible journey where he, with friends and family, literally ran through comic books, inexplicably changed to fit their ink and paper environments.

One minute, Dipper found himself with the others in a code-era strip, and able to break the barrier between the panels. The next minute, he saw his Great-Uncle Ford in a zany style with giant hands and rounded teeth (oddly reminiscent of people you could find in Echo Creek).

While minor changes to his outfit or the outfits of others quickly became expected, Dipper was not ready for the next “style fluctuation”. Just seconds earlier, the group had been out on the street, chasing an outlaw you’d see on a neighborhood watch sign. Now, they were all outside a high school, surrounded by cherry blossom trees. Everyone’s eyes and heads had grown while other features shrunk, and the inexplicable speech bubbles above them read right-to-left instead of left-to-right. They must have ended up in a manga.

Dipper observed that everyone in the group was wearing a Japanese schoolgirl uniform, regardless of gender. In terrified realization, he looked down and confirmed that he had also been subjected to this involuntary outfit change. The blouse with the tied ribbon, the pleated skirt and the bar shoes; it was the complete package. As if his feeling of humiliation wasn’t already crushing, he felt a cool breeze that threatened to lift the skirt, and was forced to hold it down. His cheeks felt as warm as his legs felt cold.

“What is this nightmare?” he exclaimed.

He finally noticed Wendy next to him. Oh crap.

“Nice skirt, Dip,” she said with a smirk.

The final nail in the coffin. Dipper looked away from her in defeat. “I look ridiculous, don’t I?”

“Dude, I meant that as a compliment,” said Wendy, sounding taken aback.

Dipper turned so vigorously that he almost lost his balance in his Mary Janes. “Wait, really?” he asked in astonishment.

“Honestly, I think you look cute in that outfit,” she said.

“You’re not pulling my leg?”

Dipper could barely believe what happened next. Wendy walked a couple of steps until she was right next to him, bent down to his level, and planted a small kiss on his cheek. “Nope,” she responded with a smile. Dipper’s face turned as red as Wendy’s scarlet hair.

---

This is a fan work, based on the TV series Gravity Falls (copyrighted by Disney). Everything copyrightable in this text that is not copyrighted by Disney is released by its author, only-here-for-the-ships, under the Creative Commons Zero.

[only-here-for-the-ships]

Wendip Week 2024 Day 2: “His Constellation”

Dipper and Wendy sat on the roof of the Mystery Shack, taking in the surrounding pinewood forest, lightly tinted a golden orange by the sun dipping below the horizon. As Dipper asked Wendy about her continued high school experience and she asked him about how junior high school was treating him, the sky gradually turned darker and stars began to fill it.

Dipper caught a glance of Ford pulling out and looking through a tripod telescope down on the ground, and then another glance of him showing Mabel how to use its adjustment knobs.

It was not long before there were more points of light above than Dipper could possibly count. “Wow!” he said in response to this natural spectacle.

“I know right?” said Wendy. “It never gets old.”

Dipper nodded. “I’ll bet. You get used to the light pollution in Piedmont, but then you forget how incredible it is out here.”

“Yeah, even though I want to go to the big city when I graduate, I’ll miss this,” Wendy said with a sigh. “Hey look! It’s your constellation!”

Sure enough, the Big Dipper constellation was easy to spot, even among all the other stars. Dipper smiled at Wendy’s remark. Despite the breathtaking sight of all the shimmering dots in the sky, the most beautiful view to Dipper was the young woman sitting right next to him.

---

This is a fan work, based on the TV series Gravity Falls (copyrighted by Disney). Everything copyrightable in this text that is not copyrighted by Disney is released by its author, only-here-for-the-ships, under the Creative Commons Zero.

[only-here-for-the-ships]

Wendip Week 2024 Day 1: “June 1st, 2013”

The past 9 months of school seemed like 9 years to Dipper Pines, and not just because of the drudgery of it all. He was anxious to see his extended family and friends in Gravity Falls again. Both he and his twin sister Mabel anxiously discussed the topic on the bus that took them from bustling Piedmont in California to the small woodland town in Oregon, while Waddles the Pig dozed on a pile of blankets.

When they finally stepped out the bus door, bags in hand and Waddles in tow, their eyes widened at the number of familiar faces there, almost as many as when they left last August. Great-Uncle Stan and his twin brother Ford were at the front of the small crowd. The younger twins immediately ran to exchange hugs with the older twins, and started asking about the Great-Uncles’ sea adventures.

Dipper’s eye was caught by the sight of flowing, scarlet hair. Dipper stood still on the dusty ground, completely fixated on the freckled face of the young lady he had developed a major crush on the previous summer. All he could do is weakly utter her name. “Wendy!”

She made eye contact and flashed a stunning smile at him, before briskly walking toward him. To his complete shock, she immediately wrapped her arms around him. Thoughts sped through his head. “This is the first time she instigated a hug with me.” “Maybe it’s just because I’ve standing frozen here?”

He realized that he wasn’t returning the hug, so he quickly put his arms up and wrapped his arms around her. As he looked up at her, his thoughts continued. “She’s still wearing my cap.” “Even though she said us dating wouldn’t work last summer, maybe things are different now?” Wendy’s smooth, cool voice interrupted these musings.

“Glad you’re back! Looks like you’re still wearing my lumberjack hat.”

Dipper’s cheeks turned slightly red. He noticed Mabel, who appeared to have been catching up with her friends Grenda and Candy, smirking at the situation.

---

This is a fan work, based on the TV series Gravity Falls (copyrighted by Disney). Everything copyrightable in this text that is not copyrighted by Disney is released by its author, only-here-for-the-ships, under the Creative Commons Zero.