opossumgrl

[opossumgrl]

the sun is so big and orange this evening. what an honor to be swallowed by her whole one day

[opossumgrl]

i love when there’s a big chunk of carrot in my mexican rice :P

[opossumgrl]

'florelegium, maze garden,' watercolor, ink, silver and gold over occasional traces of pencil on vellum. bound manuscript of 48 leaves, page 15, recto; french, 1608.

[opossumgrl]

River Phoenix as Mikey Waters in MY OWN PRIVATE IDAHO (1991), dir. Gus Van Sant

[opossumgrl]

The Kind Ouroboros by Kawandeep Virdee

[opossumgrl]

Karma is a bitch, isn’t it?

i can’t tell if this is a pointed message perhaps from someone from my life, or a general musing in my inbox. either way, i’ll bite. :)

i have always found it interesting how the westernized concept of karma has taken on the form of a retribution-style deity, not dissimilar from the Christian god people pray to in the hopes people are punished for their sins. this divorces us from our agency, leaves us in a learned helplessness. i don’t subscribe to that god, but i do subscribe to the universal law of cause and effect. i do experience the consequences of my actions, but these are not something that are done TO me. they are something i create and have ownership of: the seeds i sow.

the only thing i posted about when i received this message yesterday was that i had my car fixed. in one regard, i waited too long to replace my battery, purposely ignoring all the signs and waiting until i finally could not start my car at all. is this punishment from some omniscient force? is this punishment because you feel i mistreated you years ago? no, i punished myself directly through cause and effect. in another regard, i have purposely surrounded myself with love. i treat others well, and they reciprocate. in my times of struggle, i am uplifted with help, love and support. i am rewarded directly through cause and effect. my car did not start, but i was early to work. the people i love band together to ensure my security, as i do for them.

if this was an offhanded message, i apologize for rambling and making it personal. wherever you are, i hope you’re well and sowing fruitful seeds that make your karma feel less like a bitch. however if this is a pointed message from someone i know, i will say that i’m confident the people i currently have in my life are above sending this kind of message. and that has been intentional. wishing you growth and agency <3

[opossumgrl]

finally fixed my car :P

[opossumgrl]

bf works at the high school so he keeps running into my old students that have graduated out of middle school and they keep saying that they miss me 😭 idk it feels good that i made a difference. i hope middle school sucked less because i was there to support them

[opossumgrl]

not jumping to conclusions but it’s interesting that after the lana ethel beef, ethel tickets in my area went from $200 for nosebleed seats to $75 for general admission

[opossumgrl]

at this point in my life im pretty sure im not actually bipolar but like. what was up with that period of my life where i wasn’t sleeping wasn’t eating was abusing every substance i could get my hands on and putting myself in dangerous situations on purpose because i thought i was invincible and also communing with spirits. is that just what it’s like to be 20?

[opossumgrl]

why does andrew wells sound great on every dgd album except pantheon

[opossumgrl]

[opossumgrl]

it would suck so bad to get deceived

[opossumgrl]

i just need to have more rules for myself. more rules and limits. surely that will help me

[opossumgrl]

adjusting to birth control is making me bitchy and i was complaining and my friend goes “well i call it BC” ok cool well im talking about my BIRTH CONTROL and how it’s pissing me off. so shut the fuck up

[opossumgrl]

bell mare - david crawford

[opossumgrl]

Dorianne Laux, from "After Twelve Days of Rain", What We Carry