optimisticsailboat

[optimisticsailboat]

There is no joy to be had in your life when your kid misunderstood the meaning of your love so badly, was brainwashed so successfully that they rejected you, and wished for your lifelong misery throughout all the years you simply tried to teach them the concept of caution. Be careful with your precious body, youngin’, we only get this one after all. Take careful exploration of your body and soul before making permanent changes. Your adolescent body and mind is still developing, kid. Hormones will change your brain too, not just your appearance. Maybe just try having sex or being in love first, so you understand what you’re even dealing with? Because that will all change too! You will be fast forwarded through actual menopause with testosterone. Your sex life might be ruined before it’s begun. Vaginal atrophy is not fun, trust me on this, young one. But my caution was perceived as transphobia, which was true and actual bullshit. Our happy family was blown apart, never to be healed or whole again. The grief I feel daily is debilitating. The loss of what we could have been, as mother and daughter, or as mother and son, just as a family is immense. The anger I feel at this empty academia based ideology that smothered anything of real true meaning between us, that stole so much … and for what again? So you can now “identify” on the outside as a non-binary person? What the fuck does it even matter if that chemically curated “presentation” (ironically based on gender stereotypes to begin with) becomes more important than love itself, more important than the connection with those who raised you, brought you into this world? I mean there’s the big loss. How superficial is it all? What a fucking scam. Life! Is! Love! That’s really all that matters. But throughout your growing teenage years you learned to hate us, day in and day out. And what’s worse is the trauma you suffered believing what you seemed to believe of us. And why again? All because we were cautious and careful grownups?! And you were just a kid, likely struggling with the OCD and ODD tendencies you’d always had, not getting help with THAT but determined to get what you suddenly wanted so so badly. The doctors told you this is what would make you whole. But there is no whole when you’re still developing as a person. They sold you one possible path to salvation before they even knew who you were. But I think I knew you… I knew something about your soul. But nobody wanted to listen to my thoughts or simple observations about my own child. Have you any idea what it takes to raise a precious human being? It takes a lot of care and caution. Every day. Period. My caution was ignored and framed as something unacceptable and … abhorrent. I hate this world right now.

[optimisticsailboat]

Serendipity

Serendipity is wasted on the youth... or was that just mine? Can I get some back please? I promise I'll recognize you this time... and I will follow the signs my unconcious is trying to show me.

[optimisticsailboat]

Struggling can sometimes swallow us even deeper into the quicksand of our problems.

Bryant McGill (via bryantmcgill)

[optimisticsailboat]

How to Develop Self-Compassion

1. Acknowledge to yourself that you’re having a hard time.

2. Don’t beat yourself up for struggling.

3. Let go of any tendencies towards perfectionism.

4. Ask for support from those who care about you.

5. Make sure you enforce healthy boundaries with others.

6. Drop some commitments, and give yourself more space.

7. Take time to relax, and do the things you like.

8. Learn how to enjoy, and benefit from, solitude.