orcinusmeridionalis

[orcinusmeridionalis]

Southern Resident Orca vocalizations. The individual dialects of J, K and L pod can be heard here.

During the night, there are no boats… ~81 orcas call into the silent waters of the Salish Sea during the evening of October 20th, 2013. Loud vocals, echolocation, tail lobs and breaches.

[orcinusmeridionalis]

A sperm whale. From Ocean Souls (2020).

[orcinusmeridionalis]

Green sea near rocks - Ramsay Gibb , 2019.

Scottish , b. 1965 -

Oil on canvas , 90 x 120 cm.

[orcinusmeridionalis]

not to be dramatic but sometimes i feel like i don't belong anywhere on this earth like maybe all there is for me is perpetual loneliness + constant desire to go back to a place that doesn’t exist anymore

[orcinusmeridionalis]

I do not "feel" much, mostly due to my szpd and aspd, but I've had this melancholy feeling surrounding me lately.

There is the obvious: a longing for the ocean, the need to have my body back etc. But it's also just been in relation to anything around me. With no obvious cause.

It probably means nothing and will probably pass soon. People say writing out your feelings can help sometimes and it's been a solid 50/50 if it works for me so far.

On a more happy note, I am hoping to finally try out my new swimfin now in September. Hope I can find the time.

[orcinusmeridionalis]

Orca of the Norwegian Arctic by George Karbus

[orcinusmeridionalis]

An orca displays its teeth. Filmed in the Crozet islands, in the subantarctic Indian Ocean. From Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom - A man among orcas (2006).

[orcinusmeridionalis]

"ʙᴏᴛᴛᴏᴍ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴇᴘ ʙʟᴜᴇ ꜱᴇᴀ" - ᴍɪꜱꜱɪᴏ

[orcinusmeridionalis]

Been feeling very high strung today still. But slightly better. Don't know if I should talk to my psychiatrist or not.

Recently lowered the dosage on my medication. Don't want to increase it again but I might have to.

Hoping insomnia will let me sleep tonight.

[orcinusmeridionalis]

Bob Eggleton ‘Orcaurora’ 1993. From the book Alien Horizons: The Fantastic Art of Bob Eggleton (1995).

[orcinusmeridionalis]

covert szpd culture is acting all bubbly and sweet and whatever in an effort to hide that you truly could not care less about anyone or anything, and that very few things are meaningful in any way to you, and even fewer are meaningful in a genuinely emotional way. especially online, where there's fewer consequences for people mischaracterizing you as genuine, because it's not like they have physical access to you.

... but then that means when you try to tell the people around you that you're schizoid, literally not a single person believes you because you don't "act like it". motherfucker it's called masking

‎

[orcinusmeridionalis]

how it feels to be aware of your paranoias btw

[orcinusmeridionalis]

Spinner Dolphins (Spy in the Pod)

[orcinusmeridionalis]

i don't know what psychotic person needs to hear this, but it is in fact okay for you to be psychotic. it's not your fault. you're not asking for it. it's something that's occurring to you. trying to force it to stop happening ALL the time is going to drain you way too much. some days you just have symptoms and it's alright. sometimes you just have to go with the flow. you're not a fuck up if you have episodes, days, weeks, months of not being able to hold it together and mask your paranoia, intrusive thoughts, delusions, hallucinations, catatonia, confusion, etc. it's alright to just be mentally ill for a bit. i love you

[orcinusmeridionalis]

~ Bright Blue ~

[orcinusmeridionalis]

I feel like I'm being watched all of the time. Like someone is following me.

This in itself isn't too uncommon of a feeling for me but not to this extent and it's freaking me out a bit. I'm trying to tell my brain that no one is there. but. What if there is? Someone. Just where I can't see them.

Starting to believe they can hear my thoughts. It feels like I'm in danger but I can't figure out from what and I keep lashing out at people around me and I don't know what to do

[orcinusmeridionalis]