otonomathecrow

[otonomathecrow]

Aaron Earned An Iron Urn

@dooleyfunny | IG

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there is literally no logical, emotional, aesthetic, philosophical, moral, or sexy reason for the sun to be gone at 4.30 pm 

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Black Friday is over and my manager slapped me with $10,000

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So there’s this huge dudebro in my class, who, yesterday, sat next to me. And I’m sitting there sweating because like… I’m wearing my shirt with the lesbian flag on it, and he’s the most popular jock in school, and always has this look on his face that say ‘I can and will kill you’. He looks me up and down, stares at me for a minute and then goes, “So. Girls in skirts and long socks, am I right?”

To which I nodded solemnly, both out of agreement, surprise and also a healthy amount of awkward fear. He nodded and went, “You get it.”

I said, “Yep.” He fistbumped me, and on went our lives.

[otonomathecrow]

I’m not sorry

[otonomathecrow]

hi, my name is ezra. i’m 21 and terminally ill, and this past week my health has taken a very dangerous turn.

on monday, october 28, i went to work in the morning like usual. everything was fine and normal. i got home and decided to take a nap, since i was pretty tired. this is plenty normal for me, since i suffer from pretty heavy chronic fatigue. however, when i woke up, i didn’t know who i was, where i was, who my partner and roommates were. i could barely stumble out to the living room, and i couldn’t even hold a glass of water to try and sip from it. i suddenly have a lazy eye i’ve never had. ever since that day, i’ve been struggling with basic mobility on my right side and forgetting nearly everything. i wake up most mornings and barely know my own name.

wednesday night, it was bad enough that my roommate made me go to the emergency room. there was and still is high suspicion that i had a stroke. my CT scan came back clear, but i was told that doesn’t mean i didn’t stroke or am not going to have a stroke. i tried to go back to work, but i can barely sit up or type and i worked a desk job. i had no choice but to resign. it sucks, but i worked at a computer and this post already has taken me 3 days to type.

i have to make an emergency neurologist appointment to get an MRI. the biggest worry now is that i had a stroke, but it could be a multitude of serious issues. it’s scary.

i’m using this post to ask for help. i have medical bills now, plus just...the cost of living (rent, electricity, phone, etc) since i’m leaving my job. anything helps, and even if you can’t help a reblog does wonders. kind messages are also very appreciated. i may not respond, but i do keep nice messages to look at when i need them.

here’s my paypal, cashapp, ko-fi, gofundme and my venmo is @scaia.

thank you for reading

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[otonomathecrow]

@kirimizi

[otonomathecrow]

Mickey Mouse says:

[otonomathecrow]

just found out there’s a fetish thing called fin-dom where rich people get off on sending vast amounts of money to people who verbally abuse them and hey just sayin if you’re into that hmu, i got a paypal and i’m mean

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“How arw you paying for photoshop” im not LMAO

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Hey remember when US and Russia was all like “We’re the best!!! We’ve won the space race!!!!” But India sent a kick-ass space probe to Mars and the whole mission was fuel efficient, costed less and a roaring success in the first try and then they were like “…..wait no that can’t be true” and still have the audacity to call us “underdeveloped” or only view us as a ‘third world country’? :)

For anyone who needs more info, the probe was called Mangalyaan (which literally means space probe vehicle) or Mars Orbiter Mission (MOM) and you can also get more information here and here

[otonomathecrow]

A Friendly Reminder

- Deadpool is insecure - Deadpool has chronic pain - Deadpool is submissive in bed - Deadpool is pansexual - Deadpool lifts up his mask so Hawkeye can read his lips - Deadpool is a blonde - Deadpool’s initials are WWW - Deadpool had an abusive father - Deadpool’s mother died from cancer - Deadpool fell in love with a teenager - Deadpool left her because he didn’t want to hurt her - Deadpool had a daughter - Deadpool didn’t believe she was his because she was too beautiful - Deadpool had to be dragged away from his daughter’s dead body by Cap and Wolverine - Deadpool carries Hello Kitty band aids - Deadpool is good with kids - Deadpool can’t be killed by Ghost Rider because he doesn’t think he’s done anything wrong - Deadpool hates himself - Deadpool used to curl up in a ball and mumble about his skin hurting - Deadpool is married to the queen of the undead - Deadpool reads his own comics

Conclusion: Wade Winston Wilson is a beautiful man who must be protected.

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trans girls be like

(are pretty)

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Pretty much what happened.

(And they’re gonna sell it 75 cents a piece.)

[otonomathecrow]

SANS YOU COULD’VE ASKED IF YOUR BROTHER WANTED TO GO FIRST!!!

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ok im going crazy rn because of the stupidest thing on planet earth

look at the tiny peanut butter cup on the left

its slightly more filled than every other peanut butter cup

it doesnt have that little concave element that they all have

this is like 3 micrometers of difference why am i so fucking fixated on this

you can see it right? it’s slightly more full of a cup.

like legit i couldnt even bring myself to eat it without taking pictures of it first this is so fucking frustrating. not the cup itself, just how i feel about it.

im trying to find words to describe how i feel about it. it’s not frustration or interest or anything it’s just fixation.

what the fuck is wrong with me.