outervik

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here's 4 months update as well

2 months on T -  voice

I was planning on posting 2 months on T update, but I’m usually too busy, sick or depressed to do it :)

However, I am getting very (very) pissed every time I see people sharing stereotypes regarding different ways of taking testosterone.

There is some weird myth floating around internet that injection is the only right way. I’m going to talk specifically about gel, because I can share an actual experience. So, there is no evidence that gel works slower than injections or that it doesn’t work at all. It is exactly same as shots - depends on you body. For me, personally, changes started very quickly. I will go through it in next post, hopefully.

One thing that guys seem to be worried the most is voice. That’s why I felt the need to make my update public here… I have seen people misleading others, saying that voice drops about 2-5 months on shots and 4-6 on gel. Well, I’m not sure… My voice dropped quite significantly after 6 week, and then more about 8 week. And I know guys with similar experience on Testogel.

Do not force yourself on shots. Make the right choice and pick something that works for you. I don;t mid needles, but I went for gel, because of anxiety and mood swings problem. Gel is applied everyday, so you avoid huge hormone level changes between shots (very important for mental health). Throw the “injections work faster” argument out of the window.

There you go

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Gillian Anderson as Jean Milburn in Sex Education, episode 1

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Thirteen + showing little signs of affection for Yaz

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Thirteen+Yaz in “Arachnids in the UK” (11x04)

“Najia, you made a very awesome human”

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Long live the Queen

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But it’s an old police box.       Sort of. Not really.

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HRT - first weeks on t

really wanted to post an update earlier, but there wasn’t a lot to talk about and my schedule went crazy recently.

here we are though, two weeks on testosterone. as I mentioned here I’m currently using testogel, two pumps a day.  I’m not sure if all I noticed is 100% caused by testosterone or just coincidence, but I guess it’s all worth mentioning. 

first two days were obviously normal, I didn’t really notice anything special… it kinda took me less effort to walk fast a longer distance, but it could also be the excitement (The Women Who Lived signing day!). also, the next couple of days I felt really bad and constantly sleepy. other things I noticed on my second week, so I’ll just go with it from head to toe…

my neck has definitely got thicker. a bit, but it has. it was really thin before, so maybe that’s the reason I noticed it so fast. I won’t say anything about voice change, because I’m having a terrible cold and it just sounds weird in general. seems like the t cold is a thing. I never get sore throat and cough (usually only running nose) and suddenly I feel like I’m about to cough my lungs out… shoulders and arm muscles, well, you can’t see anything yet, but I think I’m kind of stronger. my arms and chest had always been very weak, I didn’t really work out a lot or anything. I just got a job that requires a bit of physical effort and I’m convinced that on my third day at work it all didn’t tire me up at all. I don’t necessarily feel stronger yet, but I can stand heavier exercises for much longer periods. I’ve always been quite hairy. haven’t shaved my legs for 6 months and actually got self-conscious because it is more hairy than some cis guys I know… so I’m not sure if anything changed here. I think hair on my forearms are getting darker. probably should have taken some photos earlier… the lower growth (google if you’re interested) is definitely a thing, also it’s got really sensitive and not in a good way skin in general - oily. yep, definitely more oily. no significant spots yet, but I’m trying to prevent acne as well as possible. warning, don’t wash your face too much, it makes your skin too dry and causes even more oiliness later. also, seems like my hair gets greasy quicker, but that’s maybe because I’ve just buzz-cut it really short. when it comes too mood, it’s a bit tricky. it’s easy to get placebo. no mood swings, probably thanks to everyday application. didn’t really notice any change in emotions (guys who stopped crying on testosterone - watch some doctor who, I’m sobbing) or sex drive (yet?). I’m a bit more confident, but it is a general outcome of many things happening right now. colleagues and people at uni are doing a great job respecting me as a man. amazing guys. 

same tired pre and 2 weeks on t XD

it doesn’t look special, but I wasn’t expecting miracles on such a short period. hopefully more updates in next two weeks!

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You should have seen me a few hours back. My whole body changed. Every cell in my body, burning. Some of them are still at it now. Reordering, regenerating… Sounds painful, love. You have no idea.

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I know exactly who i am.

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Take two, after getting lost in a Photoshop crash earlier… A poster for The Woman Who Fell To Earth, tonight’s #DoctorWho episode, welcoming #JodieWhittaker as the Doctor.

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Have you got family? 

No. Lost them a long time ago.

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I’m going to be in such trouble if they find out why I was there

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The Woman Who Fell to Earth (2018)

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Sorting out fair play throughout the universe. Now please, get off this planet while you still have a choice.

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“We can honor who we’ve been and choose who we want to be next.”