owlbeanies

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Something people fail to take into account when talking about shinobi travel (mechanics?? What's the word??? Ability??) In relation to how they travel faster than horses, is that the average real-world human(talking as a species here) could probably out travel a horse in a day. Horses are not endurance animals. They are not running 30mph for 12 hours, and it's a bit silly to calculate long distance travel as though they are.

I'm not a horse expert though. I hear Andalusians are batshit enough to try.

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Does anyone remember when 4chan was doing raids on tumblr by posting glore/sexual content under fandom tags? Does anyone else remember how they so desperately wanted to raid the homestuck tags but they couldn't figure out an effective strategy to upset people? Because all honestuck fans in like,,, 2014 were so desensitized to it all no one cared.

I remember...

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there’s wip (active development) and wip (stuck in development hell) and wip (oh you’re not even getting funding for this one)

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Tiktok gets banned. I decide to finally finish that fic ive been putting off. the fuckin a03 authors curse gets me. tiktok comes back.

I am never editing that thing

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I havent drawn in so long uuuhhckkk

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I'm currently reading scum villain self saving system. I had gotten most of the way through book 2 before I first checked ao3, and it kinda fun how you can guess what cool au idea exists as an actual future plot point based on it not existing in fanfiction. I am now on book 4, and I found it. The cool au idea is finally here lmao

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*posts fic* aha cool I finally completed one! 1/2 and chap 2 I'd almost finished as well. It shouldn't take me more than a week or two at my current pace :)

*starts a new fic* no.

*new chap 2 finished* stop

*starts chap 3* I need to finish the old one

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It always surprises me how tiny tobirama is. Like, I think of him and I'm like 'ah yes, large man. Stout man.' And then I see a picture of him without his Armour and its like looking at a featherless owl. Like where's the rest of you????

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He's just a little baby boy.

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Rewatching naruto no subs. I heard this is a valid method of language learning, and will update yall when I'm done.

I may do live updates... depends on how many doodles I accomplish.

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A quick rundown of the naruto fanfic i've been rotating around my brain for the past couple of months.

More or less during the kanabi mission Obito gets yoinked instead of Rin. She unable to convince Kakashi to halt the mission to save him, and by the time they complete it-- its too late. The trail has gone cold. everyone assumes he's dead...

He isnt.

Obito is now a prisoner of war. He spends not an insignificant amount of time in an enemy prison, dreaming of the day of his escape. He makes multiple plans but security is tight and he knows damn well he will never walk out that gate on his own.

So he sets his sights to plan B. Whats plan B? Desperately trying to recreate the hiraishin so he can quite literally throw himself out of there.

unfortunately Obito doesn't really know jack shit about seals. He had basic sealing lessons sure-- but do you really think his adhd ass retained any of it? No. And whats worse is that he doesn't really remember the make up of the hirashin either. Like he knows the general shape of it. He could probably fake a decent look-alike, but that doesn't help in the function department.

Well... thanks to vast amounts of stress (and more than just threats a of torture) he succeeds! He makes a seal that actually works and escapes.

Through a long string of events he ends up running into(and subsequently helping) a few akasuki memebers. He ends up joining because they're hiding him, and if he doesn't his ass is going back to prison.

His environment is far from stable considering he(an uchiha) is in a war torn RAIN, but at least he can breath a little. He takes the chance to smooth out some of the kinks in his cool new Hiraishin recreation. This catches the attention of multiple people, with the rain trio being some of them. They decide to swing by just to see what all the hubbub is about in regard to their newest member.

Obito is bragging, and is absolutely showing off his cool new technique.

amazed they ask him how it works.

Obito shows them.

Nagito takes one fucking looks at that seal, kneels over, and dies(not really).

Yahiko is confused. Where is the seal? Obito points. Yahiko stares.

Now let it be known that Yahiko isnt exactly the most knowledgeable person when it comes to seals, but he was trained by Jiraiya. And by gods is that not a fucking seal. He tells Obito so. That is the most chicken-scratch scribble of nothing he has ever laid eyes upon.

Obito is offended.

It is too a seal! and look he says, it has many other features that the hiraishin doesn't have which makes it even better. Such as exploding when he forces too much chakra into it.

Yahiko points out that he could just attach a paper-bomb to his kunai. In fact doing so would not only be less draining but also better in every imaginable way.

Obito disagrees, for the coolness factor of his seal far outweighs that of a paper-bomb.

Yahiko points out that his seal doesn't have a locking mechanism. There's nothing stopping anyone from stealing the kunai and using it without Obito's permission.

Well, Obito clicks his tongue because he how dare he, the amount of chakra that must be used is extremely finicky. If they don't use the exact amount of chakra it wont work, as you can see from it exploding from being overloaded.

what happens if not enough chakra is applied?

well... obito has never tried. So he cant say for certain. But if he had to hazard a guess its nothing good. (they are violently torn apart and only maybe put back together in a somewhat correct order depending on how much chakra is being used.)

Needless to say no one wants anything to do with Obito's cool new seal anymore...

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I'm an adult with adult money I chant repeatedly as I spend an exorbitant amount of money on things that make me happy.

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Fuck it I'm coming back to this: Dave and rose are twins, they are also both albino. It's kind of an inside joke that roses eyes are purple due to the fact that they can look both blue and red at the same time.

Because Dave and gamzee have effectively switched eyes Dave now has night vision and can see shrimp colors. Gamzee on the other hand would get day vision but Dave's eyes kind of suck already due to the lack of pigment so any benefits he might have gotten from human vision goes out the window.

I like the idea of rose and kanaya swapping eyes and this sucks just as much for kanaya as it does gamzee because the sun now burns that eye in particular. Kanaya has a cool eyepatch in this AU. It is very fancy. Im thinking Gothic lace with a single rose for symbolism. She is unaware her SO's name is rose and is very tickled at the revelation later on. Of course she pretends she did it on purpose because gaslighting rose is fun especially when she tries to play along but she doesn't know what she's playing along to, so they end up in a ridiculous "yes and" game where theyre both trying to one up each other on forbidden knowledge and rose is taking it far more seriously than she's trying to let on.

That one Soulmate AU where one of your eyes is the same color as your soulmates but it's gamdave.

Gamzee is a brand new subjug recruite in the church (and a double agent for karkat) wakes up excited with the rest of his class to see what shade their soulmates are, only to spiral into a complete panic when he sees bright neon fucking red. He messages karkat only for him to respond back extremely confused because his SO isn't purple. Much chaos and panic ensues as gamzee plans a freak accident so he can lose the eye without drawing even more attention to himself.

Meanwhile on earth, Dave Elizabeth Strider wakes up with the question of what human being actually has real purple eyes, and debates if Alexandria genesis is actually a real fucking thing. Little did Dave know the blog post he made about it would send him on a journey through space to fight an alien galactic empire that plans to conquer earth.

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I have no idea. Truely. Truely. I do not.

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I had a dream earlier in the day in which Zetsu was a sentient mass of fungi. They were a mold that had taken form and would hunt their grounds for other lives to add to their collection. More or less he functioned similarly to the last of us zombies except his victims were not separate from him. He clung to them like a leech, digesting them slowly until the body is gone and they were one.

Cue obito who had gotten separated from his team. He has a super special artifact that NEEDED to be placed in a special location(in my dream it was a Shiny espeon plushy that needed to be placed on a game board for board game related purposes but that's bad for the otherwise serious tone the dream had.) He could go the long way around however he is actively being hunted by enemy nin and its likely that doing so will get him caught. His only other option is to cut through the forbidden garden--a massive maze of hedges with equally massive trees that block out nearly all sunlight from passing through--

It's stupid. It's dangerous. But he steels his nerves and pushes forward. What's the worse that could happen? The enemy nin aren't likely to follow him, and he could definitely take on any dumb normal ass animal.

He doesn't see zetsu coming.

By the time he realizes he's been attacked, zetsu's mycelium had taken root and it all too easy for them to sedate him for easy eating.

By the time obito comes too, he's one voice amongst-- well just the one really. Zetsu welcomes him to his eternal rest and states that it's time for obi to fade into harmony.

.

.

.

Obito thinks this is stupid.

He tell zetsu so in many not so kind words.

Zetsu is confused and a little insulted. They GAVE him the gift of eternal peace and bliss and he's BITCHING AT THEM????

Whatever.

Zetsu expects obito to fade away as all the other voices he's collected have, but he doesn't. If anything, he gets louder. And bitcher. Obito wants to go home, but zetsu refuses to leave his garden. Eventually, obito starts grasping for control, and to zetsu's frustration, he's more successful than he should be.

Zetsu is split. They're stuck together, always and forever, and now they have to learn to live with each other.

(I distictly remember a jagged black and white figure fighting desperately to hold onto his human form because thats what was familiar. It was animated in the same style as those in FAITH the horror game.)

[owlbeanies]

Dont ask me to put clothes on a cat. I will die. Also plz *insert company name* let me spend my money iorrasponsablyt PLEASE.