ownfears

[ownfears]

i feel like people go offline whenever they see me active like maybe it's just a coincidence but it's happening repeatedly uh haha

[ownfears]

sort of made a personal/side blog @p9chita if ur interested!

[ownfears]

[  slide  ]  sender  pushes  an  item  across  the  table  to  receiver

[ it's a canteen of water. diluc knows all too well what tiredness after a hard day's work looks like --- for sylvie !! ]

⠀⠀⠀⠀the movement in front of sylvia distracts from her own void of thoughts, and she looks down on what it is. truthfully, she hadn't been really thinking about anything but she was rather zoned out, her thoughts were non-existent. her consciousness was there, just need someone for her to bring her back to teyvat. she notices the jug of water, her dehydration had quickly risen from a quiet background song to a loud bard's lyrics. her throat is dry and sore and she looks up to the person who paid attention enough to offer her water when she didn't really ask anything (alcohol is not her thing, she avoids it). she was just sitting in the tavern to relax, despite the noisy background.

⠀⠀⠀⠀sylvia looks up to see one of mondstadt's strongest and wealthiest man across her, she doesn't need to be from mondstadt to know this. it's funny how she reacts a second later, she wasn't expecting to see him──as if he doesn't own the tavern himself. the shock registered on her face before she could hide it──even if she could, it wouldn't be worth it. she is at a loss for words, but manages to stutter out his name. "master diluc?!" she heard much about him, rumors and tales from working in knights of the favonius, so finally seeing him in person, sylvia is rather excited.

[ownfears]

well... hello there everyone,,,,, i know i kind of dipped but honestly so much happened the past few months──a lot of family problems, my laptop breaking down (thanks to my siblings), my transfer request got accepted into the college i wanted, i turned 20 a week ago, got my permit this summer, been learning how to drive──just a lot of stuff. i want to come back to this account, work around my muses and ocs again, expand it more! i’m still a tumblr rp noob so i’m trying my best tbh FKSGSHJHGSK

but yeah. good to be back (hopefully)

[ownfears]

i disappeared because life has been kind of kicking my ass for the past 2 months but chainsaw man anime releasing on my birthday (10/10) gave me a reason to live tbh /hj

[ownfears]

also eid mubarak to all my muslim friends, brothers and sisters <3

[ownfears]

nonverbal  meme  prompts ↪  they  seem  few  &  far  between,  so  i  tried  to  come  up  with  as  many  scenarios  as  i  could  think  of  where  dialogue  wasn’t  a  necessary  starting  point.  some  are  more  uh  specific  than  others  /  drabble-y,  but  they’re  all  dialogue-free  (  tho  ofc  this  does  not  necessarily  extend  to  the  response  itself  ).  to  reverse  who  sends  what,  send  ‘  [  prompt  ]+  ’  !  alter  any  as  you  see  fit,  &  lemme  know  if  anything’s  unclear  ♡

[  pull  ]  sender  pulls  receiver  closer  to  them

[  touch  ]  sender  places  their  hand  affectionately  on  receiver

[  guide  ]  sender  helps  receiver  through  a  difficult  video  game

[  lean  ]  sender  leans  on  receiver

[  pierce  ]  sender  helps  receiver  with  a  new  piercing  (  doing,  aftercare,  etc  )

[  sit  ]  sender  sits  in  receiver’s  lap

[  spar  ]  sender  pins  receiver  down  in  a  practice  fight

[  cook  ]  sender  makes  food  for  receiver

[  slide  ]  sender  pushes  an  item  across  the  table  to  receiver

[  kiss  ]  sender  kisses  (  lips,  cheek,  forehead,  hand,  etc  )

[  lead  ]  sender  leads  receiver  someplace

[  wound  ]  sender  injures  muse  in  a  fight  (  practice  or  real  )

[  snap  ]  sender  takes  a  photo  of  receiver  (  candid  or  posed  )

[  drape  ]  sender  drapes  their  arm  around  receiver’s  shoulders

[  bullet  ]  sender  takes  a  bullet  for  receiver  (  literal  or  figurative  )

[  nap  ]  sender  falls  asleep  against  receiver

[  teeth  ]  sender  bears  teeth  at  receiver

[  trace  ]  sender  traces  one  of  receiver’s  scars

[  cocktail  ]  sender  makes  /  gives  receiver  a  cocktail

[  comfort  ]  sender  comforts  receiver  when  they  are  upset  /  crying

[  bouquet  ]  sender  surprises  receiver  with  a  bouquet

[  massage  ]  sender  gives  receiver  a  massage  (  planned,  spontaneous,  full  body,  shoulder,  etc  )

[  mentor  ]  sender  takes  muse  under  their  wing

[  tattoo  ]  sender  helps  receiver  with  a  new  tattoo  (  doing,  aftercare,  etc  )

[  dare  ]  receiver  acts  out  a  dare  from  sender

[  hug  ]  sender  pulls  receiver  into  a  hug

[  phone  ]  receiver  sees  sender  smiling  at  something  on  their  phone

[  popcorn  ]  sender  makes  popcorn  for  a  movie  night

[  wake  ]  sender  tries  to  wake  receiver

[  groom  ]  sender  tries  to  make  receiver  look  more  presentable

[  flower  ]  sender  places  a  flower  behind  receiver’s  ear

[  sad  ]  sender  looks  at  receiver  sorrowfully

[  playlist  ]  sender  curates  a  playlist

[  fashion  show  ]  sender  tries  to  help  receiver  choose  an  outfit

[  shield  ]  sender  steps  between  receiver  and  danger

[  bandage  ]  sender  helps  bandage  up  receiver’s  wounds

[  duel  ]  muses  get  into  a  fight

[  fear  ]  sender  finds  receiver  having  a  nightmare

[  hold  ]  sender  holds  receiver’s  hand

[  bruise  ]  sender  finds  receiver  with  a  bruise  /  tries  to  help  receiver  cover  up  a  bruise

[  brush  ]  sender  brushes  /  styles  /  dyes  receiver’s  hair

[  portrait  ]  receiver  paints  a  portrait  of  receiver

[  assist  ]  sender  helps  the  receiver  with  a  task  they’re  struggling  in

[  wow  ]  sender  does  something  to  really  amaze  receiver

[  glare  ]  sender  is  still  hurt  after  an  argument

[  roast  ]  muses  roast  marshmallows  together  /  make  s’mores

[  shoot  ]  muses  attend  a  game  of  paintball

[  diary  ]  receiver  writes  a  journal  entry  about  sender  (  maybe  they  find  it  ?  )

[  dance  ]  sender  whisks  receiver  onto  to  ‘  dance  floor  ’  (  can  be  actual  or  pretend  )

[  rest  ]  sender  rests  their  chin  on  receiver’s  head  /  shoulder

[  manicure  ]  sender  paints  receiver’s  nails

[  tuck  ]  sender  tucks  in  receiver’s  shirt,  hair  behind  ear,  etc

[  chin  ]  sender  lifts  receiver’s  chin  up

[  lap  ]  sender  puts  their  feet  in  receiver’s  lap

[  write  ]  receiver  writes  sender  a  note

[  play  ]  muses  play  a  board  game  /  card  game  together

[  glance  ]  receiver  catches  sender  looking  at  them

[  ill  ]  sender  takes  care  of  receiver  when  they  are  unwell

[  hearth  ]  sender  lights  a  fire

[  tap  ]  sender  taps  receiver  on  the  shoulder

[  bake  ]  muses  bake  together

[  read  ]  sender  reads  to  receiver

[  study  ]  sender  tries  to  help  receiver  study

[  push  ]  sender  pushes  receiver  in  anger

[  skill  ]  receiver  tries  to  assist  sender  in  learning  a  new  skill

[  coated  ]  receiver  finds  sender  covered  in  blood

[  gesture  ]  sender  motions  for  receiver  to  follow  them

[  downpour  ]  receiver  finds  sender  out  in  the  rain

[ownfears]

a collection of my own writings … sentence starters a warning for dark themes and profanity

“ i still have the scars. “

“ you will not hurt me, again. “

“ and, despite it all, i survived. “

“ my innocence died with them. “

“ please, give me a reason to stay. “

“ eventually, you just get used to it. “

“ even hell would spit me back out. “

“ you’re still a fighter, right? prove it. “

“ remorse has no place in my heart. “

“ i’m sorry. i never meant to change. “

“ strike me again and you will learn… “

“ i am stronger than this. i have to be. “

“ ——– but, you said that you loved me? “

“ you point and laugh as i crack and break. “

“ is there anything left in your shallow heart? “

“ i know there’s no fixing me, i’m too far gone. “

“ how did your gentle heart become so jaded? “

“ don’t cry for me, now. don’t you dare. not you. “

“ you’ve been fighting too hard for too long, now. “

“ my halo keeps slipping down. it’s choking me, now. “

“ their lives aren’t worthless. they’re just… worth less. “

“ your touch does not need to be soft. i will not break. “

“ i’ve paid for my sins. now, i come to collect for yours. “

“ your hands looked like safety… until they turned to fists. “

“ i was too young. i didn’t know. i tried. i did try. i am sorry. “ 

“ there is nothing beautiful about the way i’ve been broken. “

“ but moving on means letting you go, and i’m not ready, yet. “

“ spit out the blood and keep going. be strong. they still need you. “

“ someday, i’ll be strong enough, brave enough… not today, not yet. “

” poor little lamb, so lost and afraid… bleating for help that never came. “

“ you threaten to throw me to the wolves? do it. i’ll be in better company there. “

“ in all these years, your arms are the only place that have ever felt like a home. “

“ as the flames rise, i will laugh while you choke on the ashes of all your mistakes. “

“ you were iron and i was glass. how easy it must have been to shatter me at your feet. “

“ the worst part is when i can look someone in the eye and say ‘ it’s okay, i’m used to it’. “

“ ‘ where’s your conscience? where’s your heart? ‘  they’re six feet under, dead and gone. “

“ come back to bed, my dear. you’ve woven these sheets with webs of lies… now sleep in it. “

“ i don’t know which is worse: remembering everything you did to me, or knowing that you don’t. “

“ you are whole galaxies encased behind patient smiles and a gentle heart, beautiful and infinite. “

“ you are a thunderstorm. fierce. intense. powerful. dangerous. and I wouldn’t want you any other way. “

“ somehow, without me even realizing it, you became so, so important… the most important part of my life. “

“ i was broken, again and again, melted down, remade, reforged, until nothing remained of who i’d been before. “

“ all of your pretty words cannot convince me there is a shred of beauty left in that vile, putrid wreckage you presume to call a heart. “

“ they shattered you apart, rebuilt you from the shards. and, now, when you look in the mirror… you can’t even tell who you used to be. “

“ you deserve so much more than these jagged pieces…  these shards of what i used to be. because, in the end, they will only cut you down. “

[ownfears]

finally came home and i'm deadass exhausted i'm unable to girl boss more today

[ownfears]

rules read ! fav anime is probably durarara - also i have like a billion blogs so if we write a lot you'll probably see like 6 new blogs follow you at some point or smth lmao

thank you so much for reading! also durarara is a really good choice, i love that anime! also lmfoskfjdnd feel free to dw i'm support you on every single one of them <3

[ownfears]

my little sister: *sees me looking thru csm manga and sees volume 6 and volume 8 covers (naked reze & quanxi😭😭😭😭)*

me:

my little sister: what the fuck are you reading

[ownfears]

Misc. Ask Meme

❣️ - What are their love languages? 🌙 - What’s their sleep schedule like? 🎁 - How do they feel about their birthday/birthdays in general? 🧑‍🦰 - Have they ever dyed their hair? Ever cut it themself? 🍷- How do they feel about alcohol? 🗣️ - How do they handle public speaking? 🎮 - What’s their favorite game? 💓 - What are some signs they’ve fallen for someone? How do they show their affection? 🤡 - What’s something dumb they’re embarrassed about? 🌱 - Do they have a green thumb or are they a plant killer? 📱 - What social media do they use the most? 👪 - What’s their relationship with their parents like? 🐒 - What’s their favorite animal? 🧳 - What countries have they been to? 🤔 - What’s something they’ll never understand? 🎨 - What’s their favorite color? ☂️ - How do they feel about rain? 🎶 - What’s a song they really like? 🖌️ - Do they have any hobbies? 💤 - What do they absolutely need to have to fall asleep? 🎢 - Do they like amusement parks? What’s their favorite ride? 🗺️ - What languages do they speak? 🍳 - How well can they cook? 🍪 - How well can they bake? 💘 - What do they find attractive about their partner(s)? 👗 - How comfortable would they be wearing a skirt or dress? 💝 - What gestures do they really appreciate? How do you get on their good side? ☕ - Coffee or tea? 💀 - How do they feel about horror movies? 🧸 - Do they have any stuffed animals? If so, are they decorative or do they sleep with them? 💖 - How and how often do they try to impress their partner(s)? How and how often do their partner(s) impress them? 🍽️ - What’s their favorite food? 🧑‍🍼 - How do they feel about kids? 🐾 - Do they have any pets? 💬 - What are some filler/buffer words they use? (Like, um, etc.) 🏳️‍🌈 - What do they identify as? What are their pronouns? 🧑‍🤝‍🧑 - Do they have any siblings? 🥰 - What pet names do their partner(s) use for them? How flustered do they get by them? 🌳 - What’s their extended family like? 🎲 - Pick a random question to answer from this list.

[ownfears]

                                 A CORPSE IS TALKING.

independent makima from chainsaw man. adopted by mak / kai.

[ownfears]

every time i look at my pochita plushie a year is added to my lifespan. . . i love him sm i wish he was bigger tbh ｡ﾟ(ﾟ∩´﹏`∩ﾟ)ﾟ｡ i need a huge pochita plushie,,,, maybe when the anime is released they’ll release more merch <3

[ownfears]

I  DON’T  NEED  ANYMORE  PEOPLE  DYING  BECAUSE  OF  ME  ON  MY  CONSCIENCE !  ( est.  july  2021 ,   mature  content  ahead .  PERSONALS  DO  NOT  TOUCH . )

[ownfears]

if  you  want  to  die,  then  go  some  place  far  away  from  me  to  do  it  please…  i've  had  enough  of   watching people…  die  in  front  of  my  eyes… .        single muse ⟋  featuring  AKI HAYAKAWA  portrayed by DYLAN.  

——— GUIDELINES / MUSE. credits. @ownfears​ & @yellowhelper​

[ownfears]

hi! your account is so pretty!! is it OK to take inspiration w credits? thanks :)

hi thank you so much omg!!!! <3 & yes it's definitely okay! tag me when u post it because i would love to see it :D