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teaser - Cauldrons and Charms (?)

slytherin!gojo satoru x afab!Gryffindor!reader

Warning! - I do not agree with nor condone any of the heinous things JK Rowling has said about trans people and the LGBTQ+ community! This is my first real try at a fanfic and I hope you enjoy!! A full story is in the works right now, but heres a peek :)) -

Professor Binn’s history of magic paper was going to be the true cause of your death. In fact, Hermione’s better than magic zero sugar red bulls weren’t enough to pull you through the ten scrolls you had due in the next two days. Running a hand through your disheveled hair, you swept past the excited first years with a fresh two hours of sleep, sporting eyebags heavier than a mountain troll. 

“Mione! I swear if Binn doesn’t reduce his course workload, I will hex him into a-” 

Your fellow Gryffindor winced as she saw your shoulder shoved violently against broader and sturdier ones. Knocking your scrolls of parchment and sending them flying in the Great Hall. 

“Rats..” you muttered under your breath, quickly collecting your unfinished work and thinking of how you could use that Tongue Twister hex Fred taught you on the witch or wizard that shoved you. 

“What kind wheezing MORO-” your verbal tirade was interrupted by the sound of boisterous laughter, a laugh you were unfortunately extremely familiar with. 

Clad in black and green robes, stood the obnoxious, annoying excuse of a wizard, Gojo Satoru. A notorious snake who made it his personal mission to harass and ruin your life at Hogwarts. 

“Watch where you’re walking, someone might think you bumped into me on purpose, sweets” He chided with a smirk, silver ring clad hand ruffling his snow white locks. Picking up and unraveling one of your stray parchments, he eyes it like you've written some ancient undecipherable alien text then suddenly bursts into a fit of dreadful laughter.

“Listen, Gojo, I really really do not have the energy NOR the sufficient hours of sleep to deal with your goonish activities, so give me back my assignment before I send you a one way ticket to Madam Pomffrey.” You heard a small snicker, stemming from the tall figure next to your sworn enemy. Geto Suguru, in all his Slytherin glory, draped a lazy arm over his friend, sending a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, your way. Opening your assignment, Gojo feigned a wince, shaking his head while tsking. “You know, for a witch as bright as you, obviously not as bright as me... I expect a better essay… like what is this? “The Goblin King, a fierce dictator..” You writin’ a paper or a fanfiction?? Honestly, considering your brains, you're doing a rather poor job at trying to impress me"

Letting out the loudest sigh in wizarding history, you turn to Geto, giving him a quizzical brow, as if to say aren’t you a prefect? Do something? - Unfortunately, Instead of doing his job, he peers over his friend's shoulder, reading along. "I mean, I could probably write a better essay with my EYES closed" He snickers, sending a wink to the hoard of slytherin girls that gathered at the Hall.

Pulling out your wand, you hesitated between hexing the living Gojo out of him and accio-ing your essay from his grasp. Tuning out his mindless criticism and self-satisfaction, you opted for punching him in the gut, swiftly grabbing your essay, hexing his hair piss yellow and cackling your victory away.

Just as your hex takes effect, your thoughts are interrupted by a violent, high pitched scream followed by the gasps of young girls, echoing along the halls, startling Nearly Headless Nick and causing the Fat Lady's glass to shatter.

"MY HAIRRRRRRRRR"

You pick up the pace, trying to reach the safety of your common room before you face the consequences of his wrath. Your escape was short lived, however, as his freakishly long legs strode to you with a speed that could rival a thunderbird. Grabbing you by the robe collar, he slowly leaned forward, grin still intact but a visible irritated wrinkle creases his eyebrows. "If you were trying to get my attention, you've certainly done a wonderful job L/n." You roll your eyes, trying to tug your robe out of his grip. "Why don't you let me go and saunter off to entertain your little cult. I mean WOW Gojo, you never told me you could sing! For half a second I reckoned a banshee had broken into Hogwarts!" Impatience colours his face, yet his smile remains,

"Right? there really IS nothing I can't do" He sighs, with genuine dejection, “But my overflowing talent is nothing new, now why don't YOU undo the hex, sweets? I have a quidditch practice in an hour and I really wouldn't want my loyal fans to faint from the hue of my hair”  

Scoffing you chide “Fans? You can't possibly be refering to that hoard of third years? That's not admiration, they're just blindly obsessed with your pompous personality, Godric knows why..."

He grinned, eyes gleaming at your words, as if your retort had reminded him how huge his ego actually was. “While I relish the praise, I’m not obsessed with your attitude, keep being so prickly and I might hav’ta kiss ya, sweets, but I doubt you'd be that lucky” 

Feeling your heart drop into the pits of your stomach, you resist the urge to expel the bile building up at the thought “Gojo I’d rather kiss a toad with a thousand boils than even IMAGINE a kiss with the likes of yo-” 

A stern cough interrupted your soliloquy, turning your heads to the sound, a not so happy Professor McGonnagall, stood, wand in hand. “Ms L/n! And to think one of the brightest witches in Hogwarts is acting a fool in the Great Hall, now if your show is over and done with, I’d suggest you carry on with your day.” Flushing, you're quick to defend yourself.

“Professor you don’t understand! He started it!” pointing your index to Gojo, who was not so sneakily trying to weasel himself out of losing house points. She raises her pointed nose at the lanky wizard, tsking in disappointment. “And Mr Gojo! I suggest you return to your table and get that ghastly hair fixed before your quidditch practice, I doubt Madame Hooch would be happy to see her star player looking so… yellow." He perks up at her words, "Awww professor, you think I'm a Star Player? I mean I obviously am but to think you agreed!" Sighing, she shoots him a glare that immediately shuts him up. Shooing the gawking students, McGonnagall quips "And to think that two of my most intelligent wizards are to be seen publicaly jousting in the hall, five points from both Gryffindor and Slytherin! I will see the two of you, in my office friday evening." Eyeing your hunched figures, she briskly turns away. Leaving the two (three with Geto who was thoroughly enjoying himself) of you with another detention together.

"Great"

divider creds to : @thecutestgrotto

thank you for reading :?