p-dantic

[p-dantic]

I don't know if I'm slipping again or life has just gone to shit

[p-dantic]

At least you can finally sleep now Nan

It's been nice knowing you

[p-dantic]

You asked me before where am I broken

This, this is how I'm broken

I'm a fucking pathetic piece of trash who can somehow seem normal for short periods of time

[p-dantic]

I can feel myself getting bad again.

I've been growing my beard out for a while now and have a decent length so far, but it's not as long as I want. But part of me wants to trim it back just so I don't have to do as much to look after it. Same goes with shaving my head, I'm only doing that if there's something I'm going to.

On days off, I do nothing. And I don't mean that I plan to do nothing but veg out at home. I do nothing. I sit at the table for an hour or so after eating lunch or dinner, just doing nothing. Only moving because I need to use the bathroom or something similar.

Even though last night was one of the best night's I've had in a while, getting to catch up with friends, see a movie and have a decent amount of alcohol, I woke up today and went straight to the nothing I'm so used to now.

I tried to have a cry today just to see if the overflow of emotion would balance me out for a bit, but I felt too flat I couldn't even do that

[p-dantic]

It's few and far between that this happens, but on the rare occasion when I'm having an (somewhat) positive body day, I'd like to have a female friend I can (consensually) tease with some (ugly, but) "raunchy" snaps

[p-dantic]

Dear What/Whoevers up there

I don't mean to objectify women when I say this, but for my birthday, can I please see some very attractive women?

I could use some cheering up

Sincerely,

A lonely idiot

[p-dantic]

The fuck am I doing wrong?

I know we live in the hook up culture but that's not really my thing, and I've come across a few girls via online dating that seem to be the same.

Is there something I'm doing that turns people off after meeting up a few times, even if we haven't brought sex up, or in this case, postponing to a week later only to ignore my messages?!?

Sincerely,

Confused as Fuck

[p-dantic]

I want to message you and talk, but I don't want to come across as too needy or clingy

I don't want to scare you off like I have before

[p-dantic]

Shit...

I have to admit, that was the last thing I expected to happen.

And here I was believing I was the one at fault for the way things dissolved between us. I know we were just being friends with benefits as you didn't want to get into another relationship so soon. But looking back on it, I felt like I was being too full on, almost possessive, towards you.

But when you saw me at work, you could have just run like you did when you realised it was me, but I'm thankful, and appreciate, that you came back to talk and to apologize to me about the way you acted, even after I said you had to reason to.

It was good to see you again and I'm glad you're doing better.

And I'd be lying if I said that I hadn't thought about some of the times we'd spent together in the last few years.

[p-dantic]

And sometimes you just need a good fuck

Why am I so socially awkward?!?

[p-dantic]

Maybe I'll give a shit about Christmas when I have a family of my own

Or at this rate, if...

[p-dantic]

Last night I ventured out of the house to do some Pokemom Go raids with some guys from work. This info is only relevant because we ended up by the river to check the gyms there

This river holds one of my best memories, being the place where I received the best blow job of my life to date

It wasn't something I was expecting to happen at the time, but looking back on it I can see that I was an idiot and didnt pay any attention to her body language till after she planted her lips to mine

[p-dantic]

Life tip: play so much pokemon that by the time you get to bed it's too late to cry yourself to sleep

[p-dantic]

Was going to write a post about trying to get back to the gym,

But now I'm craving nachos...

[p-dantic]

I thought it was the guy that was meant to ghost the girl once we fucked...

[p-dantic]

So... I had a date tonight

[p-dantic]

Life update

Aside from location and new job, not much has changed...